Demonstone

Anybody seen Dr. D?

Never in doubt. Shame on all you sooks and bundle droppers.

Petty was named as an emergency for this game, so it seems like he's ok to go.

North have been starting games well and it's unsurprising they're giving us some cheek. However, there's only a goal in it and I'm confident we'll still win and win well. Shame about Thommo. Come on down, Harry Petty.

Well, here we are on game day and, seeing as we're playing North Melbourne, this means that once again we will be doing battle with Kangaroos skipper Jack Ziebell. It is not widely known that Jack is one of the most careful, cautious people playing footy these days. No risks, no danger. He's the straight-and-narrowest player in the AFL. Here are some examples: Jack uses 3-ply toilet paper and double folds it. He bought a packet of sparklers for New Years Eve, but once he got started watching some fire safety videos on YouTube before lighting one, he couldn't resist watching more and more and more for about three hours and ended up going to bed at 11.15pm. He was so concerned about Covid-19 that, during lockdown, he attempted to submit a urine sample online. He initially bought all his teammates a box of Celebration chocolates each for Christmas, but felt guilty for assuming that everybody "celebrates" it and exchanged them all for boxes of Roses. He always votes below the line in the Senate because he doesn't want anybody to feel left out. He's already booked an Uber to the airport for the match against Adelaide in round 23. He refuses to go camping because he reckons it's dangerous after noticing that every time they show a murder on the news, the body is always in a tent.

* antagonist

So it's Lever by a whisker, then.

Just think of the possibilities if that dreaded merger with Hawthorn had actually happened. "Go Aitches!".

I do love me a good oxymoron, Nasher. Getting off topic, but here's a few more for you.

If it's the reality bus, count me in! I'll bring the learnings for us all to share on the way.

That's a lot of celebratory beers.

Of course. Should have picked that up.

Probably because the article is about forward lines with three prolific goal kickers. What I can't work out is the note that says * DENOTES PREMIERS but there are no asterisks to be seen.

Slight variation on the running gag, It's Time. He spelled Jordan (Lewis) correctly.

Alice Springs is about 450km from Uluru.

Still the only player to kick double figures on debut. A couple of others kicked nine. For Melbourne, the best is Harry Davie in 1924 (!) with six. Sean Charles and Brent Heaver kicked five on debut.

Jordan

That qualifies for a lifetime ban, binman.

I'd be confident that there is hardly any money being bet on North this week.

* divine

Sideshow Mel(ksham) I reckon.

If he plays the game as it should be played, Geelong might be interested.

Casey would have had to "start" around Christmas time to give birth in late September.

The same Kade Simpson who turns 37 next week?

I've seen Jordon's contract and it includes a clause that stipulates that he gets a $100 bonus each and every time somebody spells his name wrong. I mean, it's great that he's signed and all that, but this is going to send the Club broke.