Skuit

4 is certainly my/our idea but I don't have confidence in 5a because we've had to fight so hard for 1a in part due to 1b and I'm concerned that the board's desire to turn 2 into the status of 3 will compromise 5b and ultimately 3 which will in turn impact 2 and undermine 1a.

What gives you such confidence? The history of our board ensuring such? And backing in the footy department when meddling has occurred?

On Open Mike a few years back if anyone is interested. I recall that I thought him pretty impressive at the time, but on watching it again I hope that he can curtail the heavy on-field focus that he developed at Collingwood - which I also hope was out of necessity rather than it being a natural personality/ego thing. I further hope that our board have made it clear that our club is an entirely different landscape to the CFC and such an approach isn't necessarily necessary, rather than our board thinking that such an approach can magically emulate Collingwood's success. That is all. Good luck Gary, and welcome aboard.

The N stands for 'no' and the H stands for '-heads' in an often cited footy club policy that is promptly forgotten about when the likes of De Goey enter the market. Incidentally, Collingwood won a flag off the back of an all-DH policy in 2010 and have underperformed ever since they reversed it and switched to a Buckley-boy model. Until this week, of course.

LH - you've just effectively called Kent a DH. You don't need to share why, but do have any solid grounds to make such an assertion? Or are the drinking suspension from last year and his general mien the primary things you're referring to?

Not to split hairs, but Port lost by two points in a tight elimination final to West Coast, a poor team on the road who then got smoked by GWS in what was a wide-open season. Port may well have been down-hill skiers, but I don't think you could say with confidence that any team has just been making up the numbers in the past couple years. Make the finals, and you're in with a shot. The Power, if you can recall, also beat West Coast during the year at Domain and had a close contest with Richmond.

I've wanted to bring this up but couldn't be bothered with the likely blow-back. But I see you've been hinting around the edges Stretch, so here goes . . . Perhaps a silly fan perception, but I almost sensed that Viney was a bit lost on his return. When he put his head down to dig out the ball, Oliver and some other ursurpers were already there. He then seemed to step back a little, and it looked as if he was easing himself back in. Since then, he has returned to a primary extractor role, but now Oliver looks a bit frustrated and ANB and Harmes are suddenly down again - and Brayshaw, who was in top-notch form as a play-maker, has been shunted to a run-with role. I don't want accuse JV of being a one-trick pony, but is primary strength is in burrowing under. We've switched our approach a bit since he was last in the team, from shutting down the stoppages to really getting the ball moving. Hence the blowouts for and against. Right now, Jack looks on the slow side, and I think has upset the mid-field balance a fraction. It makes sense to want him back in the thick of it, because he is one of the league's best, and we need to back him in in the role, but the trust the running mids and half-backs have with Oliver isn't there yet with Viney. We were seriously sucked into the ball versus Collingwood. Jones too, seemed to have struggled on the weekend with the new mid-field mix and his own role. I feel something right now has to give. Maybe Jones back to half-back to replace Vince, or Viney, who is a fantastic tagger, to swap with Brayshaw for the time being. We have ten or so weeks to get it right, but I think that sorting it out is absolutely critical to our ultimate chances to push deep into finals. When we break down in the middle - the cornerstone of our game - we get well and truly done.

What do you rate our performance out of 10 to this point? Why? 7.5. We’ve stepped up, are running smoothly in most areas on and off the field, and have adjusted off-field at times – but we still need to find a way to counter the opposition when things aren’t going according to plan. Which player has impressed you the most? Tomald. If he didn’t have a history down back he would be lauded as among of the league’s top echelon of forwards. Which draftee has made the biggest impact? Fritsch. Though I still think we aren’t quite getting enough out of him, even at this early stage. He has such a good spring and clean hands that we should be working on plans to get him into some space up forward at every opportunity. What has been our best win to date? Adelaide was as close to perfection as a team is ever likely to perform. Never mind the depleted opposition, they didn’t get so much as a look-in. Otherwise, oddly, I perhaps most fondly recall our effort against the Cats. Which player(s) needs to improve in the second half of the year? Petracca is the obvious one in terms of potential and impact. Hunt ditto for the leg speed. We fall down when the middle does, so we need to ensure Viney is up to speed and integrated in the mix. What has been our most disappointing performance? Hawthorn I think. Completely unraveled us. Collingwood played out of their skins. Where do you see us finishing? Give a win/loss and finishing position 4th – 6th. 14 wins. The difficult thing to predict is percentage. After so many close encounters last year, both our wins and losses have lately been blow-outs. Final thoughts? It's the mid-field stupid.

Feel sorry for Pedo. Comes back into the team when our centre-line goes to crud again, in a match that will possibly mark the end of his career. A game where Hogan only tallied the three marks and didn't trouble the scorers either. Hardly their fault.

I actually agree with 20% of your exclamation points here Picket. However it might appear on the surface, that's a significant statistical improvement in terms of your punctuation performance.

I forgot the rule where you can only ever learn from a lesson once. We got outplayed in the middle. We played in a finals-like atmosphere. We struggled with spread again at the MCG. I believe we will learn from the loss.

We were always going to lose the battle on the outside. But Collingwood smothered us all game and shut us down on the inside. Well played Collingwood. I believe we will learn from the loss.

Question was about what we're doing to counter our opposition. See today.

The curious thing for me is that (for those who can't get around the paywall, the basic gist is that Jennings is a master at breaking down the opposition and a game) we don't seem to apparently care that much about the opposition. We've instituted a fairly stubborn game-plan and have played on our terms for the past three or so years - hence why people think Goodwin is a poor game-day coach (and Roos before him) and why we have been done in the past when the opposition puts a lot of work into us. Maybe if they were suggesting that Jennings is an elite master-tactician, and devised our current game-plan, or if he was focused on the breakdowns and individual players, and the reason then that we dominate the contested - but otherwise I'm not sure if it's just some fluff. Where was this article two months ago when we were dismantled by Hawthorn? And have we done anything obvious since to counter our opposition or is it just a matter of clicking and our team playing with confidence to our own plan?

This is an odd discussion. What do we do with a player who hasn't played a game yet three years from now if he can't break in for a game due to our all-star line-up? Lever just went down with an ACL. Our most important forward is now Tmac. [censored] happens.

I'm all about helping out the geriatrics of our community. They're the only ones who can verify that we've ever won a flag.

He was just kidding dmma. No need to get your nose out of joint.

If Amazon takes over the AFL, and the campaign to scrap the centre-bounce eventually succeeds, I hope they replace it with an Amazon drone dropping the ball into the contests. That would be awesome.

It's a difficult question to frame, and a delicate one to handle. I'd like to know how Brad, and Aaron Davey for example, feel about being among our club's greatest ever players - statistically at least, and both captains of the club - and are yet generally overlooked in discussions of such perhaps due to being there during our darkest period: subject perhaps, as a fan-base, to our common will to forget. Do they feel supported, and a part of our current resurgence? In realistic terms, we should support both as we now do Jones: warriors for the MFC who stuck by us during the very worst of times.

Bobby, I suggest this with all due respect, but I think you could probably do with a defrag if you can still recall umpire names from the past century. If you're unsure of what a defrag is, just trundle down to your local milkbar and offer a half-penny to one of those modern spikey haired internet-mongers loitering outside.

This was another statistical exercise I've been meaning to conduct, but thankfully someone at AFL media house took care of the leg-work themselves. Essentially, the convergence of three key stats as a predictive model for winning this year: contested, DE% and pressure acts. While we're noted for at least two of those three, I suggested before that our dominant run has coincided with an uncanny apparent uptick in clean disposal - suggested in turn by a poster as a result of omitting those of questionable foot-skills. http://www.afl.com.au/news/2018-06-05/the-stats-files-the-three-keys-to-winning-games-in-2018 In brief: "Only one team – Geelong against West Coast in round three – out of 30 this year has lost when it won contested possessions, disposal efficiency and pressure factor in the same game. " "That equates to 96.7 per cent of the time, the highest winning percentage from the stats three-pack in six years." Also, something to consider: "The three categories also stand strong in isolation this season: contested possessions (65.6 per cent success rate), disposal efficiency (69 per cent) and pressure factor (62.2 per cent). Sides win 90.9 per cent of matches when they win contested possessions and disposal efficiency; 81.8 per cent with contested possessions and pressure factor; and 73.5 per cent from disposal efficiency and pressure factor." And a quick finally: "Queen's Birthday combatants Collingwood and Melbourne are the only top-eight teams to rank in the top 10 in all three categories in 2018."

This may appear as if an ultra-long, self-indulgent post to celebrate my 3000th instance of time-wasting on our beloved Demons footballing hub; sifting through 118 pages of mostly drivel (up until about a year back) to compile a personal ‘best of’ in the disappointing fashion of a sitcom milestone retrospective. But really, the thread is not intended as just a pointless self-homage – rather an opportunity for us to cordially gather together in these current times of abundance and back-slapping and reflect on our own personal and collective journeys to this point, both the camaraderie and the occasional degree of bickering befitting of Cormac McCarthy’s ‘The Road.’ Include what you will, boast of impressive predictions, recall wonky or wacky opinions, showcase your sublime comedic talent, or just settle old scores in a never-ending verbal fight to the death – I’m certain you’ll be judged accordingly – but, a quick note, I suspect a third-person format will quickly grow tedious, so perhaps a better template would be something of this like: …………………………………………………...... First post: Best Nostradamus moment: Spot-on calls: Biggest predictive flop: An absolute personal embarrassment: Greatest interpersonal abuse (for and against): Most contentious post: Persistent bugbear: (I’ll prefill this for Clint Biz – unstuck tackles and not getting back quick enough on the mark) Individual player lobbying and castigation - and your wrong and rights: Best/most flamboyant meltdown: All-time greatest zinger: Little would we know: Etc . . : ………………………………………………………. Anywho, without further ado, this is your life . . . Skuit. May 19th 2015, you finally broke your cherry on the boards, after lurking since 2011. This very first entry into the realm of Demonland perhaps best illustrates your attraction to the site in the first place: a debilitating case of MFCSS and the psychological need for community. Following an injury to some kid called Dean: It seems the only players on our list outside of Tmac to have shown some positive signs of individual improvement so far this year were Viney (426), Salem (426) and Kent (?). Your MFCSS would become a common theme during your time on Demonland. On our likelihood of victory during the bye-week: Hogan gets hit by the regular bus. #fistedforever In more general terms: MFCSS logic: The opposition are rebounding off an embarrassing loss. Melbourne are going to lose. The opposition are in good form and coming off a win. Melbourne are going to lose. But turning to Demonland as a support network may have been ill-advised. The first time you were told to shove it: @faultydet: What a phlog ... Take your "sweeping generalisations", and belt them up your ars, you racist [censored] Your response, however, was all class, resisting the temptation for antagonistic leftist baiting; I have a gangly inverted black humanoid figure as an avatar so I clearly can't be racist. But your suggestion that I belt sweeping generalisations up my censored as a punitive measure rather than something that might be enjoyable makes me think that you could be possibly homophobic. (cutaway for an emotional Skuit/faultydebt reunion and non-sexual burying of threatening implements). It wasn’t the only time you would engage in virtual fisticuffs on DL in the early days. On your suggestion that Stef Martin would have been a useful inclusion in a particular match: @Curry & Beer: oh ffs yes we aware that one of the last hundred players we have delisted has actually gone on to play well at another club, big friggen deal On your defense of the ‘spud’ Joe Daniher after kicking a bag against the MFC: @Curry & Beer: oh shut up please politically correct social justice warrior On specifically Curry & Beer: (return to the studio present): If you’re listening Curry, we all miss your pleasant contributions and wish you a speedy recovery. Still, you have displayed a fair degree of vitriolic yourself towards a particular young man in Jack Watts; @Skuit: And Watts can go and sit on a selfie-stick for that last effort. Including your most contentious post ever, directly following young Jack’s notable efforts to get the Demons across the line against Gold Coast in Alice last year: You can't just pick and choose when to compete. Jack Watts' contribution weighed up against Jack Watts' non-contribution for me adds up to trade. While questionably defending the deficiencies of others in the past: @Skuit: Fitzy any chance to get up and run with White? Would beat him hands down in tunnel-ball, leap-frog, rounders, fiddle-sticks . . . Can you tell us the source of this apparent resentment? Live Skuit: Thanks Ray. I never felt that Jack would be the right fit in moving us forward. That is all. Outside of Jack though, you’ve levelled an undue amount of abuse at another pair of current-day performers, brothers in fact: @Skuit: Imagine living next-door to the MacDonald clan. Mister, can we have our ball back. Mister, can we have our ball back. Mister, can we have . . . . @Skuit: The nick-name 'Tomald' is revelation enough (courtesy of @Deestroy All): It can even be used as a verb. Like when you Tomald the ball directly to the single opposition player standing in the middle of four of your own teammates. @Skuit: Hibberd and Pedo can go and stand next to Nev in the Reliable Camp. Omac can go and stand next to that Traeger Park tree and wait for the next electrical storm. Might spark some life into the boy. @Skuit: I'm certain it's to do with his vision and depth perception. Needs corrective lenses. OPSMac. So, do you have anything to say in your defence in terms of the McDonald bothers? Yes, thanks Ray, I would really like the opportunity to sincerely apolog – hey, look, is that @stevethemanjordan? But the abuse hasn’t all been confined to Melbourne players: Excuse my language, but that umpire Nicholls is a [censored] [censored] camel [censored] [censored] stain. Yet, it hasn’t all been anger, frustration and arguments over the recent past years. Let’s look back at some of the good times and more light-hearted moments you’ve shared on Demonland. On the solid bonds of community, (or, impressions of your Demonalnd peers): Where Demonland posters go to get their insights on the MFC . . . Saty: the Viney-family garden. Ethan Tremblay: reruns of Hawaii Five-O. SWYL: 9/11 footage. Beezlebub: The scoreboard stupid. Old Dee: The 1965 VFL season almanac. Wiseblood: the contraindication info on the back of a Percocet packet. BBO: subspace Picket: sheeeit! I am the ORACLE!!! Stevetheman: the police report from that time Oscar ran over his own cat the clumsy stupid doofus. Stuie: Stuie’s facebook page moderated by someone called Stuie. Clint Bizkit: personal stopwatch splits for players getting behind their mark. hemingway: whisky and soda. Puntkick: whisky and rum. And your most proud pun over the journey: On the Brayshaw brothers: @DubDee: Assume they are from Scottish stock with those names? @Skuit: Irish actually. To Brayshaw, to Brayshaw. Or; on the broader question of how to resolve AFL midfield congestion: Clarryntyne. And by far your worst effort, indeed the most disappointing pun you’ve ever committed to the digital ether: On North recruiting a certain unnamed recruiter: I imagine some the North fans would have been shocked by this decision. A Barry Prend-aghast even. Your best, however, digital work in this modern high-tech era of cut & paste technology: On Lynden Dunn’s curious ongoing exclusion at the expense of some kid called Oscar: Or, following another injury to our reserve stocks last year: What it’s like being a Smith playing for Melbourne: And possibly your sharpest ever grand take-down: @Nasher: Flip through my contacts for a Port supporter to bag, realise I don't know a single one of them. @Skuit: You should call your insurer. You may be entitled to a discount on your home-and-contents premiums. Still, some of your anti-club witticisms may have on occasion come back to bite: (last year): I’m calling it now – Richmond will be in 9th position heading into the final day of the season. On the other hand, some eerie soothsaying [censored] leading up to the Collingwood QB clash in 2016: If I were seeking a way for Garlett to recapture his form and confidence, I'd send him to the forward pocket on Queen's Birthday at the MCG against Collingwood and tell him to kick goals. Also: Roos: 'our job is to decide whether he can functionally perform the way we want him to play and we won't know that until Saturday morning.' @Skuit: But whose job at the club is it to decide whether playing could aggravate the injury or cause longer-term damage? I hope they're not leaving it up to a character like Viney to self-report. And on a final note and fitting summary of your Demonland excursion to date. In respect to the potential of the Demons making the grand final last year: This will sound like the strangest comment ever uttered in these hallowed digital halls, but I don't think I'm ready yet. This is my life now. Melbourne's inveterate crapness is a core part of my personal identity. The Stockholm Syndrome has full hold of me. Just the thought of a flag and the existential anxiety seizes my brain. How the hell am I possibly going to cope on Grand Final day?!! And around all those bloody neutrals who couldn't possibly understand. What if it all goes horribly wrong? And surely, surely, after waiting so desperately all this time, there isn't the slightest hope that the joy however great could ever live up to the desire. And how much salt would it rub into the wounds - to suddenly do it so easily after a half-century of wasted effort? What happens when life returns to normal? When cricket returns to the G' and ordinary people no longer care? When everyone else has forgotten the pain and the suffering and simply moved on? I'll be that prisoner released into society after serving a life sentence. I'm institutionalised. My only hope is recidivism. To bid farewell to the MFC and jump on the Richmond bandwagon to nowhere . . . @Demonland: Where were you in 2000? @Skuit: Drunk by about 10am.

I also had a pop-up launch within the last two days. I don't recall much other than clicking on a thread link and it launched a different page - assumed I'd clicked before the landing page had fully loaded and struck a banner ad - except that it didn't look much like an expected adservices ad. I remember thinking it had a vague Russianness about it as well (this isn't tongue-in-cheek) and shut it down pretty quick. It wasn't a new window pop-up but a diverted page. I also remember that the page had weird framing/borders. It is the first time it has ever happened - and it did briefly cross my mind that the site had been hacked by a disgruntled Dogs fan. Apologies - I probably should have said something at the time. I'll shout out if anything else comes to mind (the tenor of the ad will come back to me I think - if it's of any help), or let admin know if my bank account has been drained.

'Mange' as a collective noun for Western Bulldog fans deserves more credit. Submit your entries here for the rest of the league's supporter-base: (my lazy efforts in brackets). West Coast: (a come-down of Weagle supporters) Richmond: (a tooth-decay of Tigers') Sydney: (a mardi-gras of Swans') Geelong: (a kitty-litter of Cats') North Melbourne: (a meniscus of Nth Melbourne') Adelaide: (a serial-murder of Crows') Collingwood: (a centrelink of Collingwood') Port Adelaide: (an inter-familial pod of Power') Hawthorn: (a star-Spangered banner of Hawks') GWS (a Kar-Hunt of GWS' supporters) Essendon: (a Hird of blind-eyed Dons') Fremantle: (a grope of Dockers') Gold Coast: (a line of GC') St. Kilda: (a syringe of Saints') Brisbane: (a beautiful one day , putrid the next of Bears') Carlton: (a brown-paper bag of Blues')

Except today, where in the middle of seriously heavy traffic he somehow notices that Hogan has a yard of space 50 metres away in the goal-square and plonks it on his head out of the pack off a step. Dead-set freak that Clarry kid.