Mazer Rackham

If we miss finals with a percentage of 130, we'll all be talking like that, permanently

Coffee fanatics were plunging on Colombian Gold Velvet in huge volumes and the baristas had to wind in the price to protect themselves. They made up for it by putting out the price on macadamia and cranberry muffins to an enticing $10.50

They can't get simple things right, like kicks that go 15 metres. There is no chance they will do anything about home town umpiring any time soon. But as you say, first they have to acknowledge the problem. So now they're undermining the on field umps? Way to go, AFL. That'll increase the poise and confidence of the guys out on the ground like no-one's biz. How not to run an umpires department, playing out in real life before our eyes.

The AFL have lost control of the refereeing, the penalty/tribunal system, and of the rules themselves. And they either don't realise it, or they don't care.

Good lord. There are some shortcomings in the MFC team? How come no-one's noticed? Why hasn't anyone said anything? Thanks Supercoach Terry. Great gameday coach but as for the rest of it .... (Balances out Goody nicely, who seems to be lacking in the game day department. Perhaps Terry could point that one out for us as well?)

Yes! This American style "pep talk" motivation is long on "rah rah" and short on the concrete things you need to do to actually achieve eg focus and the mental discipline to control attitude. It's entirely possible that every MFC player never gives up, to faces every challenge, etc etc, and we still lose. And then next match, get back up, face every challenge, etc, and lose again. Having the warrior mindset is one thing. It's a step in the right direction but does not necessarily enhance your chances of victory.

From the goal square Why not? Why save all the fun of round 23 miss-the-finals calamities to ourselves.

Obviously we weren't frantic ENOUGH. On Sunday, we will be even more frantic, attack the contest harder, and bomb inside 50 more frequently, to ever outnumbered forwards. And leave more loose oppo to counterattack.

It's becoming glaringly obvious that it will come down to us having to beat GWS by 35 points to make it. We will then win by 30 points with a behind after the siren, having led by 66 points during the 3rd quarter

The odds don't reflect the probabilities. It's just the TAB protecting themselves from plunges made by Demons fans pushed to the edge of sanity

Only 5% chance of missing? Our boys will take that as a challenge

"We're a high scoring team and that the only thing wrong on Sunday was the goal kicking. No choke, just didn't execute well." Did anyone watch any of the match? We were headless chooks. And that probably affected the goalkicking. And then the multiple muffed chances affected the players' mental state further. Playing catch up in the last flattered us on the scoreboard. "Our game plan is working, we just need to fine tune it." How often have you seen this scenario play out? We're playing well, scoring well, then there's a change of momentum. Suddenly when we have the ball, there's no one to give it to. We end up playing frantic ring a rosie with handpasses until someone long bombs it, either to a contest where we're outnumbered, or to a contest that is to the oppo's advantage. And then when the oppo have it, they seem to be able to move the ball with amazing freedom and we can't lay a finger on them! Why can they do it and we can't? I've seen this over and over this season. Even against GCS there were traces of it in the 3rd quarter. The facts are brutally simple. We don't beat top sides. We cannot compete with the top sides. Even with our suspect game plan, we can score enough to make it close on the scoreboard, but can't get to the finish line. Game plans can get fixed. Look at Richmond. Enter Justin Leppitsch, suddenly they are a fortress in defence. Fragile minds are harder to fix.

Hang on! You're going too fast for me. Let's pull it back one step. First, you barrack for Melbourne ... Okay, question answered.

You have to use an actual phone and not just a picture of one from the Aus Post junk mail catalogue.

That's because horses are noble, gentle nurturing creatures, whereas the football world is so full of bastards you can hardly discuss it without using the word.

The difference between losing and winning those Cats games are two straight kicks, and two lightyears of mental strength.

Spotted at training. Fine tuning the gameplan of the Melbourne Ferrari in preparation for this weekend's crunch game.

But the gods sometimes give us good things, like rain for our crops, and good harvests ... protect us from our enemies ... give us good fortune ... Whereas the Melbourne Football Club ... gives us 50 year plagues and turns us to salt. It is a cruel and vengeful football club.

Yes. He was caught by the WA Cultural Police, putting his Woosha poster into the recycling and his WCE scarf into the Salvos bin. And wasn't really banned, he was waterboarded with eastern states beer and forced to confess every free kick he'd ever awarded against the Eagles.

In fact the opposite could be true. The young ones are being poisoned by the old and scarred ones.

With one good preseason, it will finally fulfill its potential

We're taking it one clashed gear change at a time. And we're learning from each near fatal collision.

"We had six more scoring shots and squandered them. That's gotta be a good thing." Any other positives, James? "Speaking of scoring, went to Jake's party on Satdee noight ... picked up a real stunna!"

The gearbox has seized and now it only works in second gear There's a worrying squeaking noise coming from the back left wheel and blue smoke is coming out of the exhaust

I believe Nicholls once gave us a free, to Jock Proudfoot for hacking. Oh hang on, that was umpire Percy Nicholls, in 1927. My error. Ian Chappell told a story about the West Indies umpire Douglas Sang Hue. At a pre-series reception he noticed Doug standing by himself and said, come and have a drink with us. Doug said, no. Chappell said, well what about with the WI players? Doug said, especially not them. I can't be seen to be consorting with ANY player, in case it makes me look like I could be biased. A concept unknown to our umps who pat players on the bum and have club posters on their bedroom walls.