Mazer Rackham

"Grandson of Magpies legend stars in final"

You had me at bullied. We bullied another team! GO DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to game now. Rackham out. Just remember, I tipped this!

In such an emergency, GO DEMONS!!!!!!! is never out of place

3 hrs to go ... still time for Gil to pull something.

Jack Daniel's is spelt with a J

He picks up on discrepancies, or things that seem a bit out of kilter ... like a good journo would ... but then he doesn't seem to be able to think through whether it's a big deal or not.. EG when the draw for the finals was announced, he picked up on the fact that there have been interstate finals in Perth and Adelaide on a Thursday before ... but not this year. WCE v CFC not on a Thursday! Gerry's conclusion: something is afoot! Why not this year? Scoop! You can almost hear him mentally rehearsing his Pulitzer prize acceptance speech. So he got on the AFL guy to put him through the mincer ... only to find it was for the very prosaic reason that public transport on Thursday nights in Perth is dreadful. He does it again and again. Thinks he's uncovered Watergate only to find it's more like water glass. Meanwhile actual big deals get glossed over by him. Old joke: Twately has no nose for news. How does he smell? Terrible!

Haven't you heard? He's in Las Vegas on the end of season trip with the Freo boys.

If he tells you he's looking forward to tomorrow's game against the Cats, then worry. Otherwise, don't.

Don't let your wife watch The Bachelor or Gardening Australia then. Watch the game instead.

Like ripping some pussiis a new are sole.

If you don't stop it, you'll go blind.

Watching last night's game ... the first quarter especially, it was frantic. And I thought, that's our style. That's the way we try to play. We are absolutely set for this. Game plan clicked at the right time of year. Mindset fixed and primed, at just the right time. Goody's got us playing finals type footy, with everything in place for us to power through. Recently, whenever I have been supremely confident of a win, we have flubbed it. So I won't say I'm supremely confident. Just that this situation ... the timing, the occasion, everything ... is made for us. GO DEMONS!!!

Don't then! Start flapping your arms now. See you at the G! (Don't worry about the eagles on top of the grandstands, they're fakes.)

As part of his fitness test, the coaches threw a couple of them in front of him and he destroyed them without even fully realising they were there. It's an instinct.

God, I hope all our players manged to get their tickets what with all the Ticketek drama. Imagine if we couldn't field a full team because of that! Oh, that would be the most Melbourne thing ever!

What I'm looking forward to is ... who is our new finals hero? Or heroes. Who will rise to the occasion? Who will make a name for themselves as a "finals performer"? Tracc? J Smith? Nev? Jones? Hoping for a bit of a smokey.

We cannot be grateful enough to not only Roos, but Jackson in particular. At the time, it was the last roll of the dice for this club, and thank god it worked out in our favour. Otherwise we would right now be the Burnie Devils, playing curtain raisers at Launceston for the Hawks.

It's alright JJC. You will still be rescued by Luke Skywalker and destroy the death star. (Also, I will be struck down by Gil McLachlan and become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.)

It's crying out for him. Have you seen the price of braised beef and burgundy cottage pies at Portsea?

"WE'RE SCARED WE'LL BE BURNT ON A STAKE, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE RED AND THE BLUE"

Not his fault. He was told that the monks were underperforming and he had to toughen them up and get rid of the worst offenders. The retreat turned into a wild party joint overnight and was eventually relegated from the health and wellness league.

No, Hogan's injured. (joke!!!!!!!!)

For sure. All it takes is one phone call from Gil. (And a $10,000 donation to the school.)

Just shows the pull of AFL in the big end of town. It's no joke. Aussie Rules is embedded at the pointy end of Australian life the way other sports can only dream of. The CEO of the NRL never got an au pair through the red tape. (But then again, an NRL au pair would be a Russian tractor driver, not a blonde Francaise!)