Demonland

The weighted figure for this week is 0.819 (second highest of the year behind the Fremantle game). Will be back soon with an update on the leader board. Clue: Brocky looks like going futher ahead.

THE LONG WEEKEND by The Oracle Melbourne seems to have the wood on Collingwood insofar as their recent Queens Birthday meetings are concerned. The black and white army and its bogan supporters are our bunnies when it comes to the celebration of Her Royal Highness' big day out. Take our last four such encounters when we beat them so easily that we could even be excused for suggesting our dominance might cause what was previously heralded as a great clash of traditional rivals to turn into a potentially crashing bore of an event. The fans might even stay away fearing a lack of a contest. OK. I jest a little, but the AFL's head honcho and leading opera fan, Andrew Demetrious (aka Arthur Fonzarelli or The Fonze) is so frightened at the prospect of a boring outcome that might not appeal to the fans that he set the alarm bells ringing with his pronouncement/threat overnight that Melbourne could lose the blockbuster Queen's Birthday match if it drew a crowd of less than 60,000. That's right! The Fonze is prepared to wield the big stick right at the heart of the Demons at the very moment when they are struggling at the bottom end of a football cycle. This is from the chief executive of the AFL whose duty it is to promote all teams in the competition and treat them as equal partners in the nation's largest sporting enterprise: an organisation which has already hijacked Melbourne's 150th birthday celebrations, stole it away and adopted the anniversary as its own and then, in an act of sheer effrontery this man has decided to snub the celebration of the sesquicentenary at the MCG on August 8 by heading off to the Olympics! And what point is The Fonz trying to make? Despite Melbourne's lowly position on the ladder, its average home attendances are higher than top eight sides Western Bulldogs and North Melbourne, both of which have earned praise in recent times from the AFL as to the way they are managing their financial position. The AFL has form in dealing more favourably with certain clubs than it has with others and in that regard, there was no darker episode in the history of the competition than the way in which it unceremoniously dumped the Fitzroy Football Club in 1996 doing everything in its power to prevent the members of that club from having their wishes taken into account when their team was forced to merge with the Bears and go north to Queensland. Kevin Rudd has apologised to the stolen generations but we have yet to see an AFL leader with the guts to stand up and apologise to Fitzroy people for what the league did to their club. I have this to say to the muppets who aren't prepared to show a grain of respect to the oldest football club in the world. The Melbourne Football Club has been around for more than three times the span of your lifetime and will be around long after you depart this mortal coil. We Demons are resilient and we are not prepared to cop the same treatment or endure the same outcome that befell the Lions. And we will get more than 60,000 to this game as we do every Queens Birthday. So to the Demetrious, the Kennetts et al, my message is plain and simple. Go shove it and leave us alone to enjoy the long weekend! THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG - 9 June 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 137 wins 4 draws At the G Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 70 wins 2 draws Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 4 wins The Coaches Bailey 0 wins Malthouse 0 wins MEDIA TV Channel 10 at 2.30pm (delayed telecast) RADIO Triple M 3AW 7774ABC SEN THE BETTING Melbourne to win $8.50 Collingwood to win $1.05 LAST TIME THEY MET Collingwood 11.15.81 d Melbourne 9.16.70 Round 20, 2008, at MCG We celebrated David Neitz' 300th game for the club with an honourable defeat for the injury plagued Demons. The team recovered from a slow start and a physical buffeting which saw an end to the seasons of Daniel Bell, Aaron Davey and Ben Holland to get to within five points of the eventual preliminary finalists but failed to go on with it in the last half of the final term. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs James McDonald Colin Garland Daniel Bell Half backs Brad Green Matthew Warnock Paul Wheatley Centreline Cale Morton Brock McLean Cameron Bruce Half forwards Matthew Bate Brad Miller Lynden Dunn Forwards Paul Johnson Colin Sylvia Austin Wonaeamirri Followers Jeff White Brent Moloney Nathan Jones Interchange (from) Clint Bartram Jace Bode Jared Rivers Adem Yze Emergencies Nathan Carroll Mark Jamar Chris Johnson In Jace Bode Cale Morton Jared Rivers Out Simon Buckley (omitted) James Frawley (shoulder) Russell Robertson (Achilles) COLLINGWOOD Backs Heath Shaw Shane Wakelin Tarkyn Lockyer Half backs Martin Clarke Nathan Brown Harry O’Brien Centreline Scott Pendlebury Scott Burns Rhyce Shaw Half forwards Leon Davis Shane O’Bree Travis Cloke Forwards Alan Didak Anthony Rocca Paul Medhurst Followers Josh Fraser Dane Swan Dale Thomas Interchange Chris Bryan Ben Johnson Nick Maxwell Sharrod Wellingham Emergencies Ryan Cook Shannon Cox Ben Reid In Anthony Rocca Out Ben Reid (omitted) Umpires Vosso Farmer Meredith THE CRYSTAL BALL The intense rivalry between Melbourne and Collingwood goes back a long way. It has peaked a few times in the past century - in the roaring 20's and then especially through the 1950's and the early part of the sixties. In those days, you would have the entire city enraptured with the event and massive crowds would turn up to the MCG whenever they played against each other. After that, even when one or the other of these two sides was struggling, a Melbourne v. Collingwood game was the town's hottest ticket. But those days are over now that we have interstate clubs with their funny mascots running around (with more to come) but even then, those people responsible for putting together our schedule of games each season remain fascinated by this particular fixture. I was also fascinated and eager to know how this year's game was going to unfold in view of the fact that the Dees aren't travelling too well and the Pies have been blitzing it over the past few weeks winning their last two games by an aggregate of 186 points against the 2006 and 2007 premiership sides! Logic therefore dictates that the Demons are in a spot of bother. After all, they have just lost two great forwards in David Neitz and Russell Robertson who between them have kicked 1030 career goals who have shared the club's goal kicking honours for every season since 2001. Their most creative small forward Aaron Davey is still a week away from playing after suffering a hamstring strain at training recently and their great key forward position hope in Michael Newton struggles with his fitness. They sit in last place on the ladder with just one win and a percentage of just 58.9 after 10 rounds which is their worst percentage at this stage of the season since 1919. By way of contrast, the Magpies have star quality in form players everywhere on the ground. Alan Didak is the AFL's top kick getter. He's also capable of kicking miracle goals but then so are Daisy Thomas Paul Medhurst and Leon Davis, not to mention the returning Anthony Rocca who faces the game without the prospect of being tagged by his nemesis Benny Holland. It was all so scary that I decided to ditch logic and resort to my trusty old crystal ball but even then I was in for quite a shock. Indeed, if my interpretation of what I saw inside the magic orb is correct then I have some bad news for Demon fans. At first, there was not a great deal to see through the foggy maze on the inside but one thing I was able to discern was the outline of a single word hovering above a misty black and white object which resembled some sort of bird, possibly a magpie. The single word that I saw is somewhat unfamiliar - "spiflocated". Then, as the contents of my magical orb settled further, I could make out the sight of a devilish object that lay on the ground at the feet of the rampant bird. It was covered by a garment coloured red, blue and silver. Anyhow, I had no idea what this word "spiflocated" means so I consulted my dictionary and found the definition, I didn't want to see - to spiflocate means to injure or do something stupid that causes much pain. Oh Dear! I do want to remain positive like Melbourne coach and to that end I point to the fact that it was only three rounds back when Hawthorn smashed Collingwood by 65 points while the Demons rushed home against the Dockers in a great come from behind win the next day. That's football for you. It beats the opera and for mine, it even beats going to the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. Someone should tell that to The Fonze! Collingwood by 10 points in a thriller (in my dreams)!

by The Oracle Melbourne seems to have the wood on Collingwood insofar as their recent Queens Birthday meetings are concerned. The black and white army and its bogan supporters are our bunnies when it comes to the celebration of Her Royal Highness' big day out. Take our last four such encounters when we beat them so easily that we could even be excused for suggesting our dominance might cause what was previously heralded as a great clash of traditional rivals to turn into a potentially crashing bore of an event. The fans might even stay away fearing a lack of a contest. OK. I jest a little, but the AFL's head honcho and leading opera fan, Andrew Demetrious (aka Arthur Fonzarelli or The Fonze) is so frightened at the prospect of a boring outcome that might not appeal to the fans that he set the alarm bells ringing with his pronouncement/threat overnight that Melbourne could lose the blockbuster Queen's Birthday match if it drew a crowd of less than 60,000. That's right! The Fonze is prepared to wield the big stick right at the heart of the Demons at the very moment when they are struggling at the bottom end of a football cycle. This is from the chief executive of the AFL whose duty it is to promote all teams in the competition and treat them as equal partners in the nation's largest sporting enterprise: an organisation which has already hijacked Melbourne's 150th birthday celebrations, stole it away and adopted the anniversary as its own and then, in an act of sheer effrontery this man has decided to snub the celebration of the sesquicentenary at the MCG on August 8 by heading off to the Olympics! And what point is The Fonz trying to make? Despite Melbourne's lowly position on the ladder, its average home attendances are higher than top eight sides Western Bulldogs and North Melbourne, both of which have earned praise in recent times from the AFL as to the way they are managing their financial position. The AFL has form in dealing more favourably with certain clubs than it has with others and in that regard, there was no darker episode in the history of the competition than the way in which it unceremoniously dumped the Fitzroy Football Club in 1996 doing everything in its power to prevent the members of that club from having their wishes taken into account when their team was forced to merge with the Bears and go north to Queensland. Kevin Rudd has apologised to the stolen generations but we have yet to see an AFL leader with the guts to stand up and apologise to Fitzroy people for what the league did to their club. I have this to say to the muppets who aren't prepared to show a grain of respect to the oldest football club in the world. The Melbourne Football Club has been around for more than three times the span of your lifetime and will be around long after you depart this mortal coil. We Demons are resilient and we are not prepared to cop the same treatment or endure the same outcome that befell the Lions. And we will get more than 60,000 to this game as we do every Queens Birthday. So to the Demetrious, the Kennetts et al, my message is plain and simple. Go shove it and leave us alone to enjoy the long weekend! THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG - 9 June 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 137 wins 4 draws At the G Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 70 wins 2 draws Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 4 wins The Coaches Bailey 0 wins Malthouse 0 wins MEDIA TV Channel 10 at 2.30pm (delayed telecast) RADIO Triple M 3AW 7774ABC SEN THE BETTING Melbourne to win $8.50 Collingwood to win $1.05 LAST TIME THEY MET Collingwood 11.15.81 d Melbourne 9.16.70 Round 20, 2008, at MCG We celebrated David Neitz' 300th game for the club with an honourable defeat for the injury plagued Demons. The team recovered from a slow start and a physical buffeting which saw an end to the seasons of Daniel Bell, Aaron Davey and Ben Holland to get to within five points of the eventual preliminary finalists but failed to go on with it in the last half of the final term. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs James McDonald Colin Garland Daniel Bell Half backs Brad Green Matthew Warnock Paul Wheatley Centreline Cale Morton Brock McLean Cameron Bruce Half forwards Matthew Bate Brad Miller Lynden Dunn Forwards Paul Johnson Colin Sylvia Austin Wonaeamirri Followers Jeff White Brent Moloney Nathan Jones Interchange (from) Clint Bartram Jace Bode Jared Rivers Adem Yze Emergencies Nathan Carroll Mark Jamar Chris Johnson In Jace Bode Cale Morton Jared Rivers Out Simon Buckley (omitted) James Frawley (shoulder) Russell Robertson (Achilles) COLLINGWOOD Backs Heath Shaw Shane Wakelin Tarkyn Lockyer Half backs Martin Clarke Nathan Brown Harry O’Brien Centreline Scott Pendlebury Scott Burns Rhyce Shaw Half forwards Leon Davis Shane O’Bree Travis Cloke Forwards Alan Didak Anthony Rocca Paul Medhurst Followers Josh Fraser Dane Swan Dale Thomas Interchange Chris Bryan Ben Johnson Nick Maxwell Sharrod Wellingham Emergencies Ryan Cook Shannon Cox Ben Reid In Anthony Rocca Out Ben Reid (omitted) Umpires Vosso Farmer Meredith THE CRYSTAL BALL The intense rivalry between Melbourne and Collingwood goes back a long way. It has peaked a few times in the past century - in the roaring 20's and then especially through the 1950's and the early part of the sixties. In those days, you would have the entire city enraptured with the event and massive crowds would turn up to the MCG whenever they played against each other. After that, even when one or the other of these two sides was struggling, a Melbourne v. Collingwood game was the town's hottest ticket. But those days are over now that we have interstate clubs with their funny mascots running around (with more to come) but even then, those people responsible for putting together our schedule of games each season remain fascinated by this particular fixture. I was also fascinated and eager to know how this year's game was going to unfold in view of the fact that the Dees aren't travelling too well and the Pies have been blitzing it over the past few weeks winning their last two games by an aggregate of 186 points against the 2006 and 2007 premiership sides! Logic therefore dictates that the Demons are in a spot of bother. After all, they have just lost two great forwards in David Neitz and Russell Robertson who between them have kicked 1030 career goals who have shared the club's goal kicking honours for every season since 2001. Their most creative small forward Aaron Davey is still a week away from playing after suffering a hamstring strain at training recently and their great key forward position hope in Michael Newton struggles with his fitness. They sit in last place on the ladder with just one win and a percentage of just 58.9 after 10 rounds which is their worst percentage at this stage of the season since 1919. By way of contrast, the Magpies have star quality in form players everywhere on the ground. Alan Didak is the AFL's top kick getter. He's also capable of kicking miracle goals but then so are Daisy Thomas Paul Medhurst and Leon Davis, not to mention the returning Anthony Rocca who faces the game without the prospect of being tagged by his nemesis Benny Holland. It was all so scary that I decided to ditch logic and resort to my trusty old crystal ball but even then I was in for quite a shock. Indeed, if my interpretation of what I saw inside the magic orb is correct then I have some bad news for Demon fans. At first, there was not a great deal to see through the foggy maze on the inside but one thing I was able to discern was the outline of a single word hovering above a misty black and white object which resembled some sort of bird, possibly a magpie. The single word that I saw is somewhat unfamiliar - "spiflocated". Then, as the contents of my magical orb settled further, I could make out the sight of a devilish object that lay on the ground at the feet of the rampant bird. It was covered by a garment coloured red, blue and silver. Anyhow, I had no idea what this word "spiflocated" means so I consulted my dictionary and found the definition, I didn't want to see - to spiflocate means to injure or do something stupid that causes much pain. Oh Dear! I do want to remain positive like Melbourne coach and to that end I point to the fact that it was only three rounds back when Hawthorn smashed Collingwood by 65 points while the Demons rushed home against the Dockers in a great come from behind win the next day. That's football for you. It beats the opera and for mine, it even beats going to the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. Someone should tell that to The Fonze! Collingwood by 10 points in a thriller (in my dreams)!

Perhaps this will do for starters? - Saints, Demons in VFL affiliate swap

I don't know if this is a pointer for the selected side for Melbourne on Monday but Jace Bode who was named on the interchange bench for Melbourne is not in the Sandy side. That means he's either playing against the senior Pies or somebody's stuffed up at selection.

Brock McLean still has a sizeable lead with Aussie holding second place despite not polling this week. 52.289 Brock McLean 34.349 Austin Wonaemirri 29.701 Aaron Davey 27.919 Brad Green 24.791 Paul Wheatley 22.796 Cameron Bruce 22.728 Brad Miller 20.269 Nathan Jones 19.753 Cale Morton 17.992 Paul Johnson 15.996 Matthew Bate 14.482 James McDonald 12.282 Brent Moloney 12.265 Colin Sylvia 10.685 Jared Rivers 10.482 Nathan Carroll 8.132 Clint Bartram 6.685 Colin Garland 5.904 Matthew Whelan 5.265 Russell Robertson 5.087 Jeff White 2.326 Matthew Warnock 1.866 Lynden Dunn 1.805 Simon Buckley 0.388 Adem Yze

A STROKE OF GOOD FORTUNE by Whispering Jack A stroke of good fortune enabled me to attend Sunday's St. Kilda v Melbourne game at the Telstra Dome for free courtesy of a friend who supports the Saints and who had a spare ticket. As a result, I almost got my money's worth although from this day on I will forever ask myself why on earth did I stay at the venue for the full duration. We should have known at the thirty second mark of the first quarter exactly what the handful of Demon supporters who came to the Darklands to sit among the throngs of feral Saint supporters would endure during the afternoon. That was point in time when Russell Robertson took a mark in the goal square only to inexplicably play on and slip the ball in the direction of goal but not before it was smothered through for a rushed behind by a bemused and incredulous Max Hudghton. So, for a brief moment in time the Demons held the lead but then they were physically monstered by a team that had been labelled as "soft" by their coach only seven days previously. Throughout the week one felt that such a result was inevitable as the derisive attacks on the Saints' collective manhood rose to a crescendo and the realisation came that they faced a game which, if lost, meant the end of their season. For their part, the Demons, so full of promise on the MCG against the Hawks seven days earlier, were devoid of anything close to the aggression and passion they displayed in the David Neitz farewell game. Perhaps inconsistent form is to be expected with a young side disrupted by five team changes but, in the end, it became a shambles and the side simply did not match up well against its opposition in terms of ability or physicality After Robbo's brain fade, the rest of the first quarter saw Melbourne fumble, drop marks, handball and kick to opponents more often than not and it should have been well out of the game by the first break bar for the one saving grace to that stage - the fact that St. Kilda was only marginally less incompetent. Believe it or not, the second and third quarters saw a marked deterioration in the Demons' standard of play. The scoreboard told the tale by the final change as Melbourne had added just one major (from a 50 metre penalty) to the two it scored in the first stanza. Really, it was pitiful to see Robbo manning his position in front of goal constantly shadowed by not one but by two taller opponents with no apparent spare man to crumb the ball in the event it hit the ground. Brad Miller was trying his hardest in his 100th game but he was drawn far and wide. At one stage we were treated to the embarrasing spectacle of a 176cm tall Austin Wonaeamirri competing for a mark at the centre half forward position against Sam Fisher who had a 15cm height advantage over the young Demon who didn't have the best of days. Fisher got 27 touches and claims he still isn't aware of his opponent's identity. I'm going to email him a photo of the person in question so that he knows next time. The youngsters who did so well last week in defence - Colin Garland, Matthew Warnock and James Frawley all struggled and the backline really missed the steadiness and experience of Jared Rivers and Matthew Whelan. That said, those blokes will undoubtedly have gained a lot from the day. Garland was run ragged by Riewoldt but he would have learned so much from the experience. Though the Saints' skipper marked everything in sight and assisted in a few terrific forward thrusts, he was kept down to one goal for the day. Add that to the mere three conceded to Buddy Franklin a week earlier and you would have to say that Garland's last two games haven't been all that bad! The loss of Robertson with an Achilles injury has just about put paid to the traditional forward set up at the club and Dean Bailey now has the task ahead of him to rebuild his attack from the ground up starting this week. It won't be easy on centre stage against the old enemy on Queens Birthday but he would hopefully have noted the effectiveness of the Saints' crumbers Schneider and Milne who between them outscored his own side. I try very hard to find positives but they were few and far between. James McDonald and Matthew Bate worked hard and Adem Yze was the busiest of the forwards with three goals. Paul Wheatley got a lot of the ball but so did his opponent. We were pretty woeful starting in the rucks where Jeff White renewed acquaintances with his old nemesis in Steven King and put in a shocker (possibly waiting for another kick in the head?). Paul Johnson did a little better but a revamp in this area is also on the cards. Other than that, we were beaten just about everywhere and Dean Bailey was outcoached on the day but he really didn't have the material given that by the end he was working with his second tier spine and without Aaron Davey - one of the few players in the side who can turn a game off his own boot. No review of the spectacle of Melbourne's round 10 humiliation would be complete without mentioning the ridiculous attire its players were forced to wear on the day. There's an old Bulgarian saying which roughly translated says, "if you dress like a clown, you play like a clown" and it fits the impact on the team of the Demons' clash jumper to a tee. This execrable outfit is a graphic nightmare that doesn't even serve the purpose for which it was intended. I was of the understanding that the concept of having a "clash" jumper was to avoid a clash of colours and not to create a clash. It surely must be obvious to all but the fools at the AFL that it is more likely to be confused with the Saints' colours than is the traditional Demon jumper? But there's something more serious about this piece of drek that is yet to be worn by a victorious Melbourne team - it represents much of what is wrong with the club today. As Vlad the Impaler recently said, "Melbourne doesn't stand for anything these days," and this is exactly what this jumper stands for: nothing other than the loss of the Demon spirit developed over the years, particularly during the club's successful eras. Our history tells us that we were an ordinary club travelling nowhere when a man named "Checker" Hughes came along and transformed us from the bland "Fuchsia" to the fearsome "Demon" carrying a menacing trident and bearing a threatening demeanour highlighted by horns and fanged teeth from which opposition blood was dripping. These days we look more like Ritchie Cunningham carrying a briefcase - bland and incapable of frightening anybody! It's time to reclaim that old Demon spirit and to get back to the days when we were feared by all. There's a long, long way to go but the first step must be the symbolic one of restoring the tough, unrelenting Demon personna and image to the club. When they give that back together with the red and blue (only) colours that have always been an integral part of our make up, I'm sure more strokes of good fortune will follow. St. Kilda 5.4.34 10.6.66 12.12.84 19.15.129 Melbourne 2.2.14 3.4.22 3.6.24 7.8.50 Goals St Kilda Schneider 5 Milne 3 Birss Koschitzke 2 Ball Dal Santo Dempster Gram Jones Montagna Riewoldt Melbourne Yze 3 Bruce Dunn Robertson Sylvia Best St Kilda Fisher Gram Riewoldt Schneider Dal Santo Montagna Ball Melbourne McDonald Bate Johnson Wheatley Garland Sylvia Injuries Melbourne Robertson (Achilles) Bate (hand) Umpires M Head M Stevic S Stewart Official crowd 27,854 at Telstra Dome.

by Whispering Jack A stroke of good fortune enabled me to attend Sunday's St. Kilda v Melbourne game at the Telstra Dome for free courtesy of a friend who supports the Saints and who had a spare ticket. As a result, I almost got my money's worth although from this day on I will forever ask myself why on earth did I stay at the venue for the full duration. We should have known at the thirty second mark of the first quarter exactly what the handful of Demon supporters who came to the Darklands to sit among the throngs of feral Saint supporters would endure during the afternoon. That was point in time when Russell Robertson took a mark in the goal square only to inexplicably play on and slip the ball in the direction of goal but not before it was smothered through for a rushed behind by a bemused and incredulous Max Hudghton. So, for a brief moment in time the Demons held the lead but then they were physically monstered by a team that had been labelled as "soft" by their coach only seven days previously. Throughout the week one felt that such a result was inevitable as the derisive attacks on the Saints' collective manhood rose to a crescendo and the realisation came that they faced a game which, if lost, meant the end of their season. For their part, the Demons, so full of promise on the MCG against the Hawks seven days earlier, were devoid of anything close to the aggression and passion they displayed in the David Neitz farewell game. Perhaps inconsistent form is to be expected with a young side disrupted by five team changes but, in the end, it became a shambles and the side simply did not match up well against its opposition in terms of ability or physicality After Robbo's brain fade, the rest of the first quarter saw Melbourne fumble, drop marks, handball and kick to opponents more often than not and it should have been well out of the game by the first break bar for the one saving grace to that stage - the fact that St. Kilda was only marginally less incompetent. Believe it or not, the second and third quarters saw a marked deterioration in the Demons' standard of play. The scoreboard told the tale by the final change as Melbourne had added just one major (from a 50 metre penalty) to the two it scored in the first stanza. Really, it was pitiful to see Robbo manning his position in front of goal constantly shadowed by not one but by two taller opponents with no apparent spare man to crumb the ball in the event it hit the ground. Brad Miller was trying his hardest in his 100th game but he was drawn far and wide. At one stage we were treated to the embarrasing spectacle of a 176cm tall Austin Wonaeamirri competing for a mark at the centre half forward position against Sam Fisher who had a 15cm height advantage over the young Demon who didn't have the best of days. Fisher got 27 touches and claims he still isn't aware of his opponent's identity. I'm going to email him a photo of the person in question so that he knows next time. The youngsters who did so well last week in defence - Colin Garland, Matthew Warnock and James Frawley all struggled and the backline really missed the steadiness and experience of Jared Rivers and Matthew Whelan. That said, those blokes will undoubtedly have gained a lot from the day. Garland was run ragged by Riewoldt but he would have learned so much from the experience. Though the Saints' skipper marked everything in sight and assisted in a few terrific forward thrusts, he was kept down to one goal for the day. Add that to the mere three conceded to Buddy Franklin a week earlier and you would have to say that Garland's last two games haven't been all that bad! The loss of Robertson with an Achilles injury has just about put paid to the traditional forward set up at the club and Dean Bailey now has the task ahead of him to rebuild his attack from the ground up starting this week. It won't be easy on centre stage against the old enemy on Queens Birthday but he would hopefully have noted the effectiveness of the Saints' crumbers Schneider and Milne who between them outscored his own side. I try very hard to find positives but they were few and far between. James McDonald and Matthew Bate worked hard and Adem Yze was the busiest of the forwards with three goals. Paul Wheatley got a lot of the ball but so did his opponent. We were pretty woeful starting in the rucks where Jeff White renewed acquaintances with his old nemesis in Steven King and put in a shocker (possibly waiting for another kick in the head?). Paul Johnson did a little better but a revamp in this area is also on the cards. Other than that, we were beaten just about everywhere and Dean Bailey was outcoached on the day but he really didn't have the material given that by the end he was working with his second tier spine and without Aaron Davey - one of the few players in the side who can turn a game off his own boot. No review of the spectacle of Melbourne's round 10 humiliation would be complete without mentioning the ridiculous attire its players were forced to wear on the day. There's an old Bulgarian saying which roughly translated says, "if you dress like a clown, you play like a clown" and it fits the impact on the team of the Demons' clash jumper to a tee. This execrable outfit is a graphic nightmare that doesn't even serve the purpose for which it was intended. I was of the understanding that the concept of having a "clash" jumper was to avoid a clash of colours and not to create a clash. It surely must be obvious to all but the fools at the AFL that it is more likely to be confused with the Saints' colours than is the traditional Demon jumper? But there's something more serious about this piece of drek that is yet to be worn by a victorious Melbourne team - it represents much of what is wrong with the club today. As Vlad the Impaler recently said, "Melbourne doesn't stand for anything these days," and this is exactly what this jumper stands for: nothing other than the loss of the Demon spirit developed over the years, particularly during the club's successful eras. Our history tells us that we were an ordinary club travelling nowhere when a man named "Checker" Hughes came along and transformed us from the bland "Fuchsia" to the fearsome "Demon" carrying a menacing trident and bearing a threatening demeanour highlighted by horns and fanged teeth from which opposition blood was dripping. These days we look more like Ritchie Cunningham carrying a briefcase - bland and incapable of frightening anybody! It's time to reclaim that old Demon spirit and to get back to the days when we were feared by all. There's a long, long way to go but the first step must be the symbolic one of restoring the tough, unrelenting Demon personna and image to the club. When they give that back together with the red and blue (only) colours that have always been an integral part of our make up, I'm sure more strokes of good fortune will follow. St. Kilda 5.4.34 10.6.66 12.12.84 19.15.129 Melbourne 2.2.14 3.4.22 3.6.24 7.8.50 Goals St Kilda Schneider 5 Milne 3 Birss Koschitzke 2 Ball Dal Santo Dempster Gram Jones Montagna Riewoldt Melbourne Yze 3 Bruce Dunn Robertson Sylvia Best St Kilda Fisher Gram Riewoldt Schneider Dal Santo Montagna Ball Melbourne McDonald Bate Johnson Wheatley Garland Sylvia Injuries Melbourne Robertson (Achilles) Bate (hand) Umpires M Head M Stevic S Stewart Official crowd 27,854 at Telstra Dome.

If you can find six players deserving of votes, list them in order - weighted average this wee a mere .3876. Thanks folks!

JVM has been suitably punished for the error which has now been corrected.

THE TIME WARP by JVM Such are the vagaries of the AFL schedule that St. Kilda and Melbourne will finally meet up with each other first time since that balmy night in autumn when they opened the 2007 season as the two leading Victorian contenders in the quest to break the interstate stranglehold on the competition. Those who can remember back that far might recall an injury-depleted St. Kilda team overcoming its underdog status and achieving a comfortable victory after a hard fought first half which also heralded the beginning of Melbourne's own injury wracked season and its decline to the very depths of the premiership table. Of course, the Saints have had their problems too and, under the difficulties caused by a long injury list and the fact that they were coming to grips with a new game style under new coach Ross Lyon, they stumbled and missed out on making the finals last year. At present, they are languishing in tenth place. So both clubs have endured their season and a half of hell although the Saints' woes have been nothing compared to the pain endured by the Demons. St. Kilda has won just 14½ games which gives it a 50% record since Ross Lyon took over as coach while Melbourne has tasted victory only six times for a 20% ratio which includes two wins against a club that was trying its hardest to lose. The Dees also lost a coach, a stand-in coach, a CEO, a recruiting officer/list manager, most of their office staff, the tea lady and a long standing and much loved skipper in that time and now there is also talk of possible far reaching changes at the very top; that there might be a new President in place in the not too distant future. The Saints have had their share of disruption with the advent of their new President and a new Board after a palace coup at the end of last season (although you might not have been aware of it until he finally came out of seclusion this week). There's been so much change at both clubs since that last encounter that someone arriving at the Dome after being out of town in the interim, might be forgiven for thinking that these teams have been trapped in a time warp. From finalists in the spring of 2006, both of them face a long, cold and bleak winter in 2008. THE GAME St. Kilda v Melbourne at Telstra Dome 1 June 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall St. Kilda 78 wins Melbourne 118 wins 1 draw At Telstra Dome St. Kilda 1 win Melbourne 3 wins. Since 2000 St. Kilda 3 wins Melbourne 9 wins The Coaches Lyon 0 Bailey 0 MEDIA TV Channel 7 at 3.00pm (delayed) RADIO 3AW MMM KRock THE BETTING St. Kilda to win $1.28 Melbourne to win $3.50 LAST TIME THEY MET St. Kilda 13.15.93 defeated Melbourne 9.8.62 at the MCG - Round 1 2007 After a closely fought first half Melbourne capitulated meekly in the second but they were struggling with McLean and Whelan early casualties. David Neitz and Russell Robertson booted three each but this was to be one of the last times the Demon forward duo were both fit and firing together in a game of football. THE TEAMS ST KILDA Backs Jason Blake Max Hudghton Sean Dempster Half backs Jason Gram Sam Fisher Brendon Goddard Centreline Nick Dal Santo Luke Ball Leigh Montagna Half forwards Adam Schneider Nick Riewoldt Clint Jones Forwards Shane Birss Justin Koschitzke Stephen Milne Followers Steven King Lenny Hayes Robert Harvey Interchange David Armitage Matthew Ferguson Michael Gardiner Jarryn Geary Emergencies James Gwilt Ben McEvoy Andrew McQualter In David Armitage Matthew Ferguson Out Aaron Fiora Leigh Fisher (both omitted) MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Warnock Colin Garland Daniel Bell Half backs Colin Sylvia, James Frawley, Cameron Bruce Centreline Clint Bartram Brock McLean Matthew Bate Half forwards Brad Green Russell Robertson Brent Moloney Forwards Simon Buckley Brad Miller Austin Wonaeamirri Followers Jeff White James McDonald Nathan Jones Interchange Lynden Dunn Paul Johnson Paul Wheatley Adem Yze Emergencies Jace Bode Ben Holland Chris Johnson In Lynden Dunn Colin Sylvia Paul Wheatley Jeff White Adem Yze Out Aaron Davey (hamstring) Ben Holland (shoulder) Mark Jamar (omitted) Cale Morton (flu) Shane Valenti (omitted) UMPIRES Stevic Stewart Head IS IT OVER? While both clubs have faced a long period of flagging fortunes, last Sunday afternoon's events suggested they might be going in different directions. Against the Hawks, the Demons were competitive for all but a few brief moments, which were enough for Hawthorn to claim victory. The result followed on the team's great last half comeback against Fremantle and a disappointing effort against the Crows but one that saw at least a competitive opening stanza. Like all teams striving to make their way off the bottom, they tend towards inconsistency and are looking for a breakthrough to make way for a better future. St. Kilda was virtually non-competitive for three quarters last week until the Brisbane Lions put up the shutters in the final quarter. The result led to its coach calling the team "soft" and the President to come out from that shell of obscurity claiming he would be happy to have Lyon coaching at the club for ten years. A meaningful statement on the eve of their game against a club whose last head coach lasted for … well … um … 9½ years before his President told him that his time was up. The Demons may well be asking whether their season and a half from hell is over. The answer to that unfortunately is – not yet. As the great American baseballer/commentator Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over till its over" and the truth is that they will wait a while before the answer to the question is in the affirmative. I’ve already mentioned that developing teams rarely show consistency and five changes to this week's line up are not conducive to producing the sort of consistency necessary to overcome a team that is under the pump and will most certainly see its finals hopes slip away should it lose this game on its home turf. I’m not a big believer in the strategy behind Ross Lyon’s stinging rebuke of his team by calling it "soft". That faceless President from down Moorabbin way didn't help the cause with his comments either; nor did Board member Andrew Thompson when he castigated Nick Dal Santo in his radio commentary for his selfish play during the second quarter (although some say he was just doing his job). These things tend to well up inside and they come back to bite on the nether regions at future times when they're least welcome. However, in the short term, they might just hit the mark – especially when the opposition is a young side full of inexperience and still learning the trade. The Demons will once again be heavily reliant on a midfield that consistently lags behind in the competition’s statistics for clearances and upon an inexperienced back line with the three defensive talls James Frawley, Colin Garland and Matthew Warnock boasting a combined total of 29 games. Experienced defenders Jared Rivers and Matthew Whelan are still not ready. Last week, Garland and Warnock kept Franklin and Roughead of Hawthorn relatively quiet. They will need to produce the same dose again this week on Riewoldt and Koschitzke but remember what I said earlier about young players and consistency. Up forward, the Demons will miss Ben Holland who booted three goals in his comeback game and Aaron Davey who returned to form but pinged a hamstring at training during the week. Russell Robertson (bruised thigh) was injured in the latter part of the Hawthorn game and must be under a cloud for this week. With David Neitz gone and young key forward Michael Newton nursing a knee injury, the club's fire power up forward is virtually non-existent. These all add up to one thing – the Demons' hell will continue for at least another week and probably right through the winter months. Fans be patient because it ain't over! St. Kilda by 37 points.

by JVM Such are the vagaries of the AFL schedule that St. Kilda and Melbourne will finally meet up with each other first time since that balmy night in autumn when they opened the 2007 season as the two leading Victorian contenders in the quest to break the interstate stranglehold on the competition. Those who can remember back that far might recall an injury-depleted St. Kilda team overcoming its underdog status and achieving a comfortable victory after a hard fought first half which also heralded the beginning of Melbourne's own injury wracked season and its decline to the very depths of the premiership table. Of course, the Saints have had their problems too and, under the difficulties caused by a long injury list and the fact that they were coming to grips with a new game style under new coach Ross Lyon, they stumbled and missed out on making the finals last year. At present, they are languishing in tenth place. So both clubs have endured their season and a half of hell although the Saints' woes have been nothing compared to the pain endured by the Demons. St. Kilda has won just 14½ games which gives it a 50% record since Ross Lyon took over as coach while Melbourne has tasted victory only six times for a 20% ratio which includes two wins against a club that was trying its hardest to lose. The Dees also lost a coach, a stand-in coach, a CEO, a recruiting officer/list manager, most of their office staff, the tea lady and a long standing and much loved skipper in that time and now there is also talk of possible far reaching changes at the very top; that there might be a new President in place in the not too distant future. The Saints have had their share of disruption with the advent of their new President and a new Board after a palace coup at the end of last season (although you might not have been aware of it until he finally came out of seclusion this week). There's been so much change at both clubs since that last encounter that someone arriving at the Dome after being out of town in the interim, might be forgiven for thinking that these teams have been trapped in a time warp. From finalists in the spring of 2006, both of them face a long, cold and bleak winter in 2008. THE GAME St. Kilda v Melbourne at Telstra Dome 1 June 2008 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall St. Kilda 78 wins Melbourne 118 wins 1 draw At Telstra Dome St. Kilda 1 win Melbourne 3 wins. Since 2000 St. Kilda 3 wins Melbourne 9 wins The Coaches Lyon 0 Bailey 0 MEDIA TV Channel 7 at 3.00pm (delayed) RADIO 3AW MMM KRock THE BETTING St. Kilda to win $1.28 Melbourne to win $3.50 LAST TIME THEY MET St. Kilda 13.15.93 defeated Melbourne 9.8.62 at the MCG - Round 1 2007 After a closely fought first half Melbourne capitulated meekly in the second but they were struggling with McLean and Whelan early casualties. David Neitz and Russell Robertson booted three each but this was to be one of the last times the Demon forward duo were both fit and firing together in a game of football. THE TEAMS ST KILDA Backs Jason Blake Max Hudghton Sean Dempster Half backs Jason Gram Sam Fisher Brendon Goddard Centreline Nick Dal Santo Luke Ball Leigh Montagna Half forwards Adam Schneider Nick Riewoldt Clint Jones Forwards Shane Birss Justin Koschitzke Stephen Milne Followers Steven King Lenny Hayes Robert Harvey Interchange David Armitage Matthew Ferguson Michael Gardiner Jarryn Geary Emergencies James Gwilt Ben McEvoy Andrew McQualter In David Armitage Matthew Ferguson Out Aaron Fiora Leigh Fisher (both omitted) MELBOURNE Backs Matthew Warnock Colin Garland Daniel Bell Half backs Colin Sylvia, James Frawley, Cameron Bruce Centreline Clint Bartram Brock McLean Matthew Bate Half forwards Brad Green Russell Robertson Brent Moloney Forwards Simon Buckley Brad Miller Austin Wonaeamirri Followers Jeff White James McDonald Nathan Jones Interchange Lynden Dunn Paul Johnson Paul Wheatley Adem Yze Emergencies Jace Bode Ben Holland Chris Johnson In Lynden Dunn Colin Sylvia Paul Wheatley Jeff White Adem Yze Out Aaron Davey (hamstring) Ben Holland (shoulder) Mark Jamar (omitted) Cale Morton (flu) Shane Valenti (omitted) UMPIRES Stevic Stewart Head IS IT OVER? While both clubs have faced a long period of flagging fortunes, last Sunday afternoon's events suggested they might be going in different directions. Against the Hawks, the Demons were competitive for all but a few brief moments, which were enough for Hawthorn to claim victory. The result followed on the team's great last half comeback against Fremantle and a disappointing effort against the Crows but one that saw at least a competitive opening stanza. Like all teams striving to make their way off the bottom, they tend towards inconsistency and are looking for a breakthrough to make way for a better future. St. Kilda was virtually non-competitive for three quarters last week until the Brisbane Lions put up the shutters in the final quarter. The result led to its coach calling the team "soft" and the President to come out from that shell of obscurity claiming he would be happy to have Lyon coaching at the club for ten years. A meaningful statement on the eve of their game against a club whose last head coach lasted for … well … um … 9½ years before his President told him that his time was up. The Demons may well be asking whether their season and a half from hell is over. The answer to that unfortunately is – not yet. As the great American baseballer/commentator Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over till its over" and the truth is that they will wait a while before the answer to the question is in the affirmative. I’ve already mentioned that developing teams rarely show consistency and five changes to this week's line up are not conducive to producing the sort of consistency necessary to overcome a team that is under the pump and will most certainly see its finals hopes slip away should it lose this game on its home turf. I’m not a big believer in the strategy behind Ross Lyon’s stinging rebuke of his team by calling it "soft". That faceless President from down Moorabbin way didn't help the cause with his comments either; nor did Board member Andrew Thompson when he castigated Nick Dal Santo in his radio commentary for his selfish play during the second quarter (although some say he was just doing his job). These things tend to well up inside and they come back to bite on the nether regions at future times when they're least welcome. However, in the short term, they might just hit the mark – especially when the opposition is a young side full of inexperience and still learning the trade. The Demons will once again be heavily reliant on a midfield that consistently lags behind in the competition’s statistics for clearances and upon an inexperienced back line with the three defensive talls James Frawley, Colin Garland and Matthew Warnock boasting a combined total of 29 games. Experienced defenders Jared Rivers and Matthew Whelan are still not ready. Last week, Garland and Warnock kept Franklin and Roughead of Hawthorn relatively quiet. They will need to produce the same dose again this week on Riewoldt and Koschitzke but remember what I said earlier about young players and consistency. Up forward, the Demons will miss Ben Holland who booted three goals in his comeback game and Aaron Davey who returned to form but pinged a hamstring at training during the week. Russell Robertson (bruised thigh) was injured in the latter part of the Hawthorn game and must be under a cloud for this week. With David Neitz gone and young key forward Michael Newton nursing a knee injury, the club's fire power up forward is virtually non-existent. These all add up to one thing – the Demons' hell will continue for at least another week and probably right through the winter months. Fans be patient because it ain't over! St. Kilda by 37 points.

Here it is at last! BACK IN TOWN by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham is back in town after its trip down south and has managed to come out of Sunday's danger game against the Northern Bullants with an emphatic 45-point victory which brings with it the additional bonus of a return to the VFL top four. The Bullants were coming off their best win of the season when they knocked off top-of-the-ladder North Ballarat but, after a closely fought first quarter, they were rarely in the contest. The opening term was real scramble with both sides fumbling and making fundamental errors that would not have pleased their respective coaches. The quarter time score had the Northern Bullants marginally in front with a similar score line to that which the Zebras faced last week in Tasmania. As happened last week, Sandringham lifted its work rate after the first change and easily outscored the visitors in each remaining quarter although it was certainly not the procession that we saw in Launceston. Ruckman John Meesen easily had the measure of Carlton listed ruck duo Cain Ackland and Sam Jacobs and he set up a number of attacking moves in concert with his winning midfield. Chris Johnson continued his domination of the past month or so with another excellent game running well off half back while Colin Sylvia was important with his strong attack on the ball and great delivery by hand and foot up forward. Nick Sautner stretched his lead in the VFL goal kicking with seven goals for the day and was helped by some undisciplined play from the Bullant defence which allowed him the luxury of three goals from 50 metre penalties. His opponent Mark Austin was reported for on a striking charge while Ackland's name also went in the umpire's book for striking Andy Biddlecombe in extraordinary circumstances. First year senior players Shane Tregear and Chris Waller continue to impress with their maturity and the way they have settled in and adapted to this standard of football. Their good form has been a major factor in the Zebras' recent improvement. The Zebras are also fortunate to have some in form and experienced old hands in Adem Yze, Ezra Poyas and Nick Sautner along with the leadership of Peter Summers but this quartet are all uncertain starters for the team's next game against Collingwood on Sunday week. Yze is a chance for promotion to the Melbourne side after several sparkling performances while the Sandy trio are all under injury clouds which might keep them out for a couple of games. They have already been ruled out of the weekend's interstate clash between Victoria and South Australia while another interstate selection, Shane Valenti, is also out by virtue of his elevation to the Melbourne senior list. Sunday's victory completes as solid recovery for the club after its setback against Williamstown at Point Gellibrand and two solid showings in the past fortnight against Tasmania (away) and the Bullants (at Trevor Barker Beach Oval) have restored the team's confidence as the competition goes into recess for this week. The club's next assignment is against the new Magpie VFL team which will be a prelude to the Queens Birthday AFL Blockbuster. Sandringham 3.6.24 7.10.52 12.12.84 15.15.105 Northern Bullants 4.2.26 5.6.36 7.9.51 8.12.60 Goals Sandringham Sautner 7 Summers Sylvia 2 Bode Dunn Meesen Tregear Northern Bullants Benjamin Colbert 2 Armfield Boundy Mercuri Teague Best Sandringham Yze C Johnson Lamb Waller Tregear Sautner Northern Bullants Saddington Anderson Vansittart Colbert Iacobucci Lappin Reported Players C Ackland (Northern Bullants) for allegedly striking A Biddlecombe (Sandringham) in the 1st quarter. M Austin (Northern Bullants) for striking N Sautner (Sandringham) in the 3rd quarter. The Sandringham reserves also dominated after a scrappy start and are comfortably placed in third place on their ladder. Guy Martyn was in dominant form while Maddison Hardiman and Luke Williams booted four goals each. Sandringham 2.1.13 9.2.56 19.6.120 22.10.142 Northern Bullants 1.3.9 2.4.16 2.7.19 3.11.29 Goals Sandringham Hardiman Williams 4 McConnell Martyn Summons Weetra Zomer 2 Dean Eaton Gribbin Lyall Northern Bullants O'hAilpin Lawless Macula Best Sandringham Martyn Williams Monaghan B Liddell Hardiman Weetra Northern Bullants Davies Blackwell Dennis Taylor Lawless Williams

BACK IN TOWN by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham is back in town after its trip down south and has managed to come out of Sunday's danger game against the Northern Bullants with an emphatic 45-point victory which brings with it the additional bonus of a return to the VFL top four. The Bullants were coming off their best win of the season when they knocked off top-of-the-ladder North Ballarat but, after a closely fought first quarter, they were rarely in the contest. The opening term was real scramble with both sides fumbling and making fundamental errors that would not have pleased their respective coaches. The quarter time score had the Northern Bullants marginally in front with a similar score line to that which the Zebras faced last week in Tasmania. As happened last week, Sandringham lifted its work rate after the first change and easily outscored the visitors in each remaining quarter although it was certainly not the procession that we saw in Launceston. Ruckman John Meesen easily had the measure of Carlton listed ruck duo Cain Ackland and Sam Jacobs and he set up a number of attacking moves in concert with his winning midfield. Chris Johnson continued his domination of the past month or so with another excellent game running well off half back while Colin Sylvia was important with his strong attack on the ball and great delivery by hand and foot up forward. Nick Sautner stretched his lead in the VFL goal kicking with seven goals for the day and was helped by some undisciplined play from the Bullant defence which allowed him the luxury of three goals from 50 metre penalties. His opponent Mark Austin was reported for on a striking charge while Ackland's name also went in the umpire's book for striking Andy Biddlecombe in extraordinary circumstances. First year senior players Shane Tregear and Shane Tregear continue to impress with their maturity and the way they have settled in and adapted to this standard of football. Their good form has been a major factor in the Zebras' recent improvement. The Zebras are also fortunate to have some in form and experienced old hands in Adem Yze, Ezra Poyas and Nick Sautner along with the leadership of Peter Summers but this quartet are all uncertain starters for the team's next game against Collingwood on Sunday week. Yze is a chance for promotion to the Melbourne side after several sparkling performances while the Sandy trio are all under injury clouds which might keep them out for a couple of games. They have already been ruled out of the weekend's interstate clash between Victoria and South Australia while another interstate selection, Shane Valenti, is also out by virtue of his elevation to the Melbourne senior list. Sunday's victory completes as solid recovery for the club after its setback against Williamstown at Point Gellibrand and two solid showings in the past fortnight against Tasmania (away) and the Bullants (at Trevor Barker Beach Oval) have restored the team's confidence as the competition goes into recess for this week. The club's next assignment is against the new Magpie VFL team which will be a prelude to the Queens Birthday AFL Blockbuster. Sandringham 3.6.24 7.10.52 12.12.84 15.15.105 Northern Bullants 4.2.26 5.6.36 7.9.51 8.12.60 Goals Sandringham Sautner 7 Summers Sylvia 2 Bode Dunn Meesen Tregear Northern Bullants Benjamin Colbert 2 Armfield Boundy Mercuri Teague Best Sandringham Yze C Johnson Lamb Waller Tregear Sautner Northern Bullants Saddington Anderson Vansittart Colbert Iacobucci Lappin Reported Players C Ackland (Northern Bullants) for allegedly striking A Biddlecombe (Sandringham) in the 1st quarter. M Austin (Northern Bullants) for striking N Sautner (Sandringham) in the 3rd quarter. The Sandringham reserves also dominated after a scrappy start and are comfortably placed in third place on their ladder. Guy Martyn was in dominant form while Maddison Hardiman and Luke Williams booted four goals each. Sandringham 2.1.13 9.2.56 19.6.120 22.10.142 Northern Bullants 1.3.9 2.4.16 2.7.19 3.11.29 Goals Sandringham Hardiman Williams 4 McConnell Martyn Summons Weetra Zomer 2 Dean Eaton Gribbin Lyall Northern Bullants O'hAilpin Lawless Macula Best Sandringham Martyn Williams Monaghan B Liddell Hardiman Weetra Northern Bullants Davies Blackwell Dennis Taylor Lawless Williams

Melbourne has not played against this week's opponent St. Kilda since the opening round of 2007. The selected teams for that game were - MELBOURNE: Backs: Nathan Carroll Ben Holland Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Brad Miller Daniel Bell Centreline: Travis Johnstone James McDonald Matthew Bate Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Russell Robertson Adem Yze Forwards: Chris Johnson David Neitz Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Brad Green Brock McLean Interchange Clint Bartram Mark Jamar Nathan Jones Brent Moloney Emergencies: Clint Bizzell Nathan Brown Paul Johnson ST KILDA: Backs: Steven Baker Sam Fisher Brendan Goodard Halfbacks: Jason Gram Matt Maguire Leigh Fisher Centreline: Andrew Thompson Luke Ball Leigh Montagna Half forwards: Robert Harvey Justin Koschitzke Jason Blake Forwards: Xavier Clarke Fraser Gehrig Stephen Milne Followers: Matthew Clarke Lenny Hayes Nick Dal Santo Interchange: Jayden Attard Aaron Fiora Andrew McQualter Michael Rix Emergencies: Shane Birss Barry Brooks Brett Voss

Our regular Sandy correspondent Barry from Beach Road was unavailable this week but his back up Ice Station Zebra has filed a report. Problem is that ICZ is not up with modern technology and his handwritten report was received today and is being deciphered and proof written this evening. It will probably be put on the site tomorrow at around midday. FYI Grand Old Fox ICZ reports that Matthew Whelan is over the illness which dogged him over the past couple of weeks and he played well in the Zebras' win over the Bullants.

Demonland would like to wish Whispering Jack a very happy birthday!!!

INDIGENOUS by Whispering Jack I don't usually pay much attention to special rounds of football or pre match entertainment but I have to say that the AFL really nailed it with its Indigenous Round which managed to tastefully cover all aspects of the special relationship between Australian football and indigenous Australia. The highlight was the festivity of Dreamtime at the G – the annual match played between Essendon and Richmond at the MCG. There was a curtain raiser between the Tiwi Bombers (Aussie's old club) from the Northern Territory and Rumbalara Football Club, from Shepparton and the pre match entertainment with acclaimed singers and dancers was a real treat. On Sunday at the MCG the traditional welcome from the indigenous owners of the land delivered by Auntie Joy Murphy-Wandin on behalf of her people was heartwarming. As she spoke her friendly welcome to all and included her praise for the retiring Demon skipper David Neitz, I couldn't help reflect on the lack of bitterness in her words about what history had inflicted on her people. She wasn't looking back - her focus was on the present and the future for her people. There is no doubt that our national sport provides great hope for her people in the future. There are 87,000 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people involved in Australian Football programmes and this represents 12.4 per cent of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population. Some of their finest were there on Sunday and they provided the highlight of the day with a few special and exciting moments. They included the lightning handpass delivered by Austin Wonaemirri delievered from a pack to Aaron Davey for a goal that regained the lead for Melbourne half way through the final quarter followed seconds later by Cyril Rioli's grab off the pack and run into goal to restore Hawthorn's lead. These were among the finest moments our great sport could ever bring.

by Whispering Jack I don't usually pay much attention to special rounds of football or pre match entertainment but I have to say that the AFL really nailed it with its Indigenous Round which managed to tastefully cover all aspects of the special relationship between Australian football and indigenous Australia. The highlight was the festivity of Dreamtime at the G – the annual match played between Essendon and Richmond at the MCG. There was a curtain raiser between the Tiwi Bombers (Aussie's old club) from the Northern Territory and Rumbalara Football Club, from Shepparton and the pre match entertainment with acclaimed singers and dancers was a real treat. On Sunday at the MCG the traditional welcome from the indigenous owners of the land delivered by Auntie Joy Murphy-Wandin on behalf of her people was heartwarming. As she spoke her friendly welcome to all and included her praise for the retiring Demon skipper David Neitz, I couldn't help reflect on the lack of bitterness in her words about what history had inflicted on her people. She wasn't looking back - her focus was on the present and the future for her people. There is no doubt that our national sport provides great hope for her people in the future. There are 87,000 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people involved in Australian Football programmes and this represents 12.4 per cent of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander population. Some of their finest were there on Sunday and they provided the highlight of the day with a few special and exciting moments. They included the lightning handpass delivered by Austin Wonaemirri delievered from a pack to Aaron Davey for a goal that regained the lead for Melbourne half way through the final quarter followed seconds later by Cyril Rioli's grab off the pack and run into goal to restore Hawthorn's lead. These were among the finest moments our great sport could ever bring.

Brock McLean has strenthened his lead ahead of Aussie & Flash 49.963 Brock McLean 34.349 Austin Wonaemirri 29.701 Aaron Davey 27.531 Brad Green 22.796 Cameron Bruce 22.728 Brad Miller 22.466 Paul Wheatley 19.753 Cale Morton 19.106 Nathan Jones 15.221 Matthew Bate 14.504 Paul Johnson 12.282 Brent Moloney 10.685 Jared Rivers 10.482 Nathan Carroll 9.443 James McDonald 8.389 Colin Sylvia 8.132 Clint Bartram 5.904 Matthew Whelan 5.265 Russell Robertson 5.087 Jeff White 4.360 Colin Garland 1.866 Lynden Dunn 1.805 Simon Buckley

THE CAPTAIN by the Professor A great career is over and a new era is about to begin. David Neitz said when he retired last week that he wasn't the club's best player and he's probably right there - Ronald Dale Barassi and Robbie Flower would have superior claims but there are very few in the next bunch of club greats who you could put on a pedestal above him. There are none who could claim to have achieved more on an individual level barring those who can claim premiership honours which, like Flower, eluded the wearer of the famous number 9 guernsey. Neitz came to the Melbourne Football Club through his junior club Parkmoor and was already in its sights when he was a mere 15 year old. By round 1 of 1993, Neita, was a Demon playing in an assortment of key positions and excelling at all of them. In one of his early games he booted six goals against Richmond but he soon settled down as a key defender and was selected in the Victorian State of Origin team as early as 1994 when he was playing at centre half back. His duels with Wayne Carey were fascinating and the Kangaroo legend regarded him as one of his toughest opponents. By 1995 Neitz was in the All Australian team. The following year, Melbourne was beset by injuries to several key players including Garry Lyon, David Schwarz and Alan Jakovitch and Neitz was moved forward where he was an instant goal kicking success (except when he was injured himself). Eventually, he was moved to full forward where he began a long run as one of the competition’s top goal scorers. He led the club's goal kicking seven times -1996, 1997 (equal), 1999, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2006 and in 2002 won the Coleman Medal for leading the league in goals, making him not only the first Melbourne player to do so, but also the first Demon to head the league's goal kicking since the 1940's. He won Melbourne Best and Fairest Award, the Keith 'Bluey' Truscott Medal and was named full forward in the All Australian team of the same year. When he finished up last week he held the club’s goal kicking record with 631 goals from 999 scoring shots – an accuracy rating of over 63%. He was the first and only Melbourne player to play 300 VFL/AFL games finishing on 306 – well ahead of the previous games record holder, Robbie Flower (272). Neitz was appointed captain of Melbourne in 2000 and was into his ninth season in the role when he was forced to retire with an injured disc in the back of his neck. It was as a skipper that he excelled with his leadership qualities, his strength, his determination, his hard tackling and above all, his sheer determination. We'll miss Neita and although this Kasey Chambers song wasn't written for him or about him, it sums up the strength and courage he displayed as a loyal servant for so many years at the Melbourne Football Club. THE CAPTAIN Well I don't have as many friends because I'm not as pretty as I was I've kicked myself at times because I've lied So I will have to learn to stand my ground I'll tell 'em I won't be around I'll move on over to your town and hide And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you To you Well I have handed all my efforts in I searched here for my second wind Is there somewhere here to let me in I asked So I slammed the doors they slammed at me I found the place I'm meant to be I figured out my destiny at last And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you To you Did I forget to thank you for the ride I hadn't tried I tend to run away and hide And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you 'Cause you're the Captain, and I am no one And I owe one to you . . . [Words by Kasey Chambers]

THE CAPTAIN by the Professor A great career is over and a new era is about to begin. David Neitz said when he retired last week that he wasn't the club's best player and he's probably right there - Ronald Dale Barassi and Robbie Flower would have superior claims but there are very few in the next bunch of club greats who you could put on a pedestal above him. There are none who could claim to have achieved more on an individual level barring those who can claim premiership honours which, like Flower, eluded the wearer of the famous number 9 guernsey. Neitz came to the Melbourne Football Club through his junior club Parkmoor and was already in its sights when he was a mere 15 year old. By round 1 of 1993, Neita, was a Demon playing in an assortment of key positions and excelling at all of them. In one of his early games he booted six goals against Richmond but he soon settled down as a key defender and was selected in the Victorian State of Origin team as early as 1994 when he was playing at centre half back. His duels with Wayne Carey were fascinating and the Kangaroo legend regarded him as one of his toughest opponents. By 1995 Neitz was in the All Australian team. The following year, Melbourne was beset by injuries to several key players including Garry Lyon, David Schwarz and Alan Jakovitch and Neitz was moved forward where he was an instant goal kicking success (except when he was injured himself). Eventually, he was moved to full forward where he began a long run as one of the competition’s top goal scorers. He led the club's goal kicking seven times -1996, 1997 (equal), 1999, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2006 and in 2002 won the Coleman Medal for leading the league in goals, making him not only the first Melbourne player to do so, but also the first Demon to head the league's goal kicking since the 1940's. He won Melbourne Best and Fairest Award, the Keith 'Bluey' Truscott Medal and was named full forward in the All Australian team of the same year. When he finished up last week he held the club’s goal kicking record with 631 goals from 999 scoring shots – an accuracy rating of over 63%. He was the first and only Melbourne player to play 300 VFL/AFL games finishing on 306 – well ahead of the previous games record holder, Robbie Flower (272). Neitz was appointed captain of Melbourne in 2000 and was into his ninth season in the role when he was forced to retire with an injured disc in the back of his neck. It was as a skipper that he excelled with his leadership qualities, his strength, his determination, his hard tackling and above all, his sheer determination. We'll miss Neita and although this Kasey Chambers song wasn't written for him or about him, it sums up the strength and courage he displayed as a loyal servant for so many years at the Melbourne Football Club. THE CAPTAIN Well I don't have as many friends because I'm not as pretty as I was I've kicked myself at times because I've lied So I will have to learn to stand my ground I'll tell 'em I won't be around I'll move on over to your town and hide And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you To you Well I have handed all my efforts in I searched here for my second wind Is there somewhere here to let me in I asked So I slammed the doors they slammed at me I found the place I'm meant to be I figured out my destiny at last And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you To you Did I forget to thank you for the ride I hadn't tried I tend to run away and hide And you be the Captain And I'll be no one And you can carry me away if you want to And you can lay low Just like your father And if I tread upon your feet you just say so 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you 'Cause you're the Captain, I am no one I tend to feel as though I owe one to you 'Cause you're the Captain, and I am no one And I owe one to you . . . [Words by Kasey Chambers]

by The Oracle Melbourne put in its best performance for the year on Sunday against Hawthorn but it still wasn't good enough to bring home the four premierships on offer. It was however, a much better performance than the one the Demons put on a short space of eight weeks ago against the same opponent when they lost by 104 points. Had fate and a couple of dodgy umpiring decisions not intervened, we might have seen a turnaround of close to 100 points rather than the final figure of 85. All that is pretty much irrelevant however, at this stage of proceedings. What we saw at the MCG was a look at the future - at the new and emerging face of the Melbourne Football Club. A club without David Neitz to be sure and one without Jeff White and some of the others who have been familiar fixtures for so many years. What we saw was a team that took Alastair Clarkson's unbeaten Hawks almost to the wire - something very few others have been able to achieve to date this year. It was done by aggression and hard tackling and a desire to prove to the world how much the club has improved in recent weeks. There was a marked improvement in the precision of the team's ball movement and the purpose with which each individual took on his allocated task for the day. It was all there from before the game started when retiring skipper David Neitz, finished his cavalcade around the ground and addressed the players for a minute as they stood bunched together giving one of the club's all-time greats their rapt attention and coming out showing they meant business. It was Neita's last minute as an on-field presence for the Melbourne Football Club and he was determined to ensure when he passed the baton on to the next generation of Demons, that they were not going to dismiss their 150 year heritage lightly. Brent Moloney and Nathan Jones led the charge when they stood up to the arrogance of Lance Franklin. Brock McLean, with his 13 possessions in the first quarter, was ferocious in the packs and demonstrated that he is ready to claim the crown of the heir apparent for the club's leadership - an honour he let slip through his grasp with some off field indiscretions over the pre-season. Despite receiving much closer attention from opponents these days, he is showing by his performance and demeanour on the field that his day is about to come. There were so many others who were all contributing to the cause, particularly Matthew Bate and Brad Green who added to the team's intensity as it charged to its first winning opening term and then its first winning opening half of the season - a far cry from the gaping mid game deficits of earlier in the season. Then there was the youth - first year players like Cale Morton, Austin Wonaeamirri and Shane Valenti, the emerging Simon Buckley who had over twenty touches for the second week in a row and young defenders Colin Garland and Matthew Warnock who did their jobs against the competition's most dangerous key position forward combination of Franklin and Roughead. In the end, the competition leader wore the young Demons down. They outscored Melbourne by 10 goals to 6 in the final half thanks to the run of midfielders Mitchell, Bateman and Sewell. That's still a long way from 16 to 5 as was the case in round 1 when the team had older legs and was uncompetitive. Times are changing. Melbourne 4.3.27 6.4.40 9.5.59 12.6.78 Hawthorn 3.3.21 4.7.31 10.9.69 14.13.97 Goals Melbourne Holland 3 Jones Robertson Wonaeamirri 2 Bruce Davey P Johnson Hawthorn Franklin Rioli Williams 3 Campbell Clarke Ellis Ladson Roughead Best Melbourne McLean Bate Moloney Wonaeamirri Green Garland Warnock. Hawthorn Mitchell Bateman Sewell Ladson Brown Birchall Injuries Melbourne Robertson (cork thigh), Holland (shoulder) Hawthorn Dew (hamstring soreness) Changes Melbourne White (back) replaced in selected side by Jamar. Hawthorn Lewis (cork thigh) replaced in selected side by Morton Umpires James Grun Armstrong Official crowd 41,341 at the MCG

NEITA'S LAST MINUTE by The Oracle Melbourne put in its best performance for the year on Sunday against Hawthorn but it still wasn't good enough to bring home the four premierships on offer. It was however, a much better performance than the one the Demons put on a short space of eight weeks ago against the same opponent when they lost by 104 points. Had fate and a couple of dodgy umpiring decisions not intervened, we might have seen a turnaround of close to 100 points rather than the final figure of 85. All that is pretty much irrelevant however, at this stage of proceedings. What we saw at the MCG was a look at the future - at the new and emerging face of the Melbourne Football Club. A club without David Neitz to be sure and one without Jeff White and some of the others who have been familiar fixtures for so many years. What we saw was a team that took Alastair Clarkson's unbeaten Hawks almost to the wire - something very few others have been able to achieve to date this year. It was done by aggression and hard tackling and a desire to prove to the world how much the club has improved in recent weeks. There was a marked improvement in the precision of the team's ball movement and the purpose with which each individual took on his allocated task for the day. It was all there from before the game started when retiring skipper David Neitz, finished his cavalcade around the ground and addressed the players for a minute as they stood bunched together giving one of the club's all-time greats their rapt attention and coming out showing they meant business. It was Neita's last minute as an on-field presence for the Melbourne Football Club and he was determined to ensure when he passed the baton on to the next generation of Demons, that they were not going to dismiss their 150 year heritage lightly. Brent Moloney and Nathan Jones led the charge when they stood up to the arrogance of Lance Franklin. Brock McLean, with his 13 possessions in the first quarter, was ferocious in the packs and demonstrated that he is ready to claim the crown of the heir apparent for the club's leadership - an honour he let slip through his grasp with some off field indiscretions over the pre-season. Despite receiving much closer attention from opponents these days, he is showing by his performance and demeanour on the field that his day is about to come. There were so many others who were all contributing to the cause, particularly Matthew Bate and Brad Green who added to the team's intensity as it charged to its first winning opening term and then its first winning opening half of the season - a far cry from the gaping mid game deficits of earlier in the season. Then there was the youth - first year players like Cale Morton, Austin Wonaeamirri and Shane Valenti, the emerging Simon Buckley who had over twenty touches for the second week in a row and young defenders Colin Garland and Matthew Warnock who did their jobs against the competition's most dangerous key position forward combination of Franklin and Roughead. In the end, the competition leader wore the young Demons down. They outscored Melbourne by 10 goals to 6 in the final half thanks to the run of midfielders Mitchell, Bateman and Sewell. That's still a long way from 16 to 5 as was the case in round 1 when the team had older legs and was uncompetitive. Times are changing. Melbourne 4.3.27 6.4.40 9.5.59 12.6.78 Hawthorn 3.3.21 4.7.31 10.9.69 14.13.97 Goals Melbourne Holland 3 Jones Robertson Wonaeamirri 2 Bruce Davey P Johnson Hawthorn Franklin Rioli Williams 3 Campbell Clarke Ellis Ladson Roughead Best Melbourne McLean Bate Moloney Wonaeamirri Green Garland Warnock. Hawthorn Mitchell Bateman Sewell Ladson Brown Birchall Injuries Melbourne Robertson (cork thigh), Holland (shoulder) Hawthorn Dew (hamstring soreness) Changes Melbourne White (back) replaced in selected side by Jamar. Hawthorn Lewis (cork thigh) replaced in selected side by Morton Umpires James Grun Armstrong Official crowd 41,341 at the MCG

For the next week at least all references to the club formerly known as Hawthorn shall be done by referring to its correct name of Tasmanian Hawks or Tassie Hawks. Demonland reserves the right to edit your posts if you neglect to observe this ruling.