Earl Hood

Que? Too many ...tions and ....treaty's for me to follow. I gather this about some cheap red?

It's been a bad week for me too Uncle. A slight accident on the way home yesterday, taking a short cut via Merri Creek.

These bananas go to waste every year, tonnes of them in Queensland because they are too long, too bent, too straight, too thick or too thin for all you pedantic bananaophiles that inhabit this thread. Just stop and think for a moment about how wasteful your demands are and lift your game!

I am sure you have Uncle but sorry what are you talking about? Sorry I have been out of the loop this week, what with being summoned to the Palace at short notice this week by Her Majesty. You can imagine my apprehension on the 20 hour flight to London as I presumed the worst, perhaps it was a life threatening health issue for our Majesty or our own Sir Prince Phillip! Or perhaps Her Majesty was planning to abdicate in favour of Prince Charles, in which case I would be asked to take on even higher honours, I am sure, as we were both class captains at Timbertop all those years ago. However it transpired that I was informed by Her Majesty in a personal audience at the Palace that Prince Phillip will be withdrawing from Public life in August some 30 years after he should have, in her words! Anyway I have just landed back in time for tomorrow's clash somewhat jet lagged to all this chatter.

What is this football related rant doing on this thread? Where are the moderators? However it is a fair comment, but my reply is we have reverted to our normal state over the past 20 years. Last year was an anomaly for so few injuries, our norm for as long as I can remember is 10 to 12 on the injury list with 4 or 5 of those being in the best 24. That is our lot I am afraid, unlike the Dorks, the Cats over the past 10 years.

Is this a remake of Who shot Liberty Valence?

A remarkable resemblance to Slim Pickens, me thinks.

I beg your pardon?

Yes Uncle I am stocking up the cellar as we blog! The last thing I need is an extra tax burden when I order my usual latest vintage 10 dozen Grange for the year! I mean don't they realise that such wine taxes will cost thousands of grape picking jobs, done by 457's and backpackers by the way.

Brian or Brain Taylor? I am not sure who Brain is! Certainly not the bloke on 7 surely.

As I said earlier Special, sheer luxury! The stories I could tell you about growing up, six of us kids, in a shoebox on the High Street, no parents, they died before I was even conceived! Don't go looking for sympathy from me. Abject poverty can be character building! Look what it has done for me, Special. Toughen up, embrace your abject poverty and turn it into a positive experience, you can aspire to a better life if you just work hard enough. Now you may not get paid award rates but don't let that deter you just keep working for the better life that is always just over the horizon.

Special has Batman Park become overgrown with trees since I walked past just a few weeks ago? Very odd! The trees must be blocking the view to the Yarra. Do you get WiFi in there?

Sheer luxury I say!!

Hummf. Being an Earl is not good enough eh Uncle, you now take advice from a Marquis. After all I have done for you, like bankrolling your last ill fated escapade in Asia and your total inability to market the remarkable health giving qualities of Guava Paste, if you remember?

Good pick up DC I haven't watched a WWII film or Dad's Army, Hogan's Heroes for years so I am rusty on the correct WWII nickname spelling for the dreaded Huns!

Dieter did you ever take a Gerry 'attrick?

Squirrel isn't an Egyptologist is he, Special? Professor William McElroy perhaps. Don't hit him on the head as he seems fairly harmless at the moment but he can change.

But I noticed their wine is cheap as over there anyway. Not so much here though. And they do reds, never knew that.

Biff I have just come back from the North Island does that count? And you are probably right.

Biff I would prefer we put Robert to a more constructive task cleaning the graffiti around Fitzroy! It should keep him busy for some time and he could sleep in Edinburgh Park at night with the possums, better than a bridge I would think.

I suspect the local indigenous tribe might have sent you on your way, that is very much their territory. They know they were dudded by J Batman, then Pascoe Fawkner so they would be very wary of another whitey intruding on their space, especially one who lives under a bridge!

Moons please I do not live in the burbs as that is how I regard Fitzroy North! I am Fitzroy central please and no I will not be lodging Special. As I have said elsewhere living under a bridge is luxurious compared to my former circumstances growing up in a shoebox. Hardship can be character building and I am a shining example of what it can produce, even if I say so myself. I do thank Special for living away out of sight, under a bridge, that is preferable to the ferals sleeping out at Flinders Street Station. Very untidy, and it upsets Robert Doyle so much. But don't bring your bedding to Fitzroy by the way. We have a zero tolerance rule here, Robert.

Dieter, please! Conchita is my number one assistant and confidant. She is extremely skilled, a great organiser and communicator. She is of Spanish origins and yes is somewhat hirsute, ok she has a beard but she sings like an angle. But these days we are all about diversity, yes? However I know this diversity may be a bridge too far for youse people?

Oh living under a bridge are we, sheer luxury, I say, Special. We grew up, whole family living in a shoe box on main road, up at dawn, off to mill, work all day, back for tea but there weren't none, just some coal to munch on, then a good flogging for our troubles. Aye sheer luxury these days!

Context?