Tarax Club

Visiting Casey Fields for training reports now seems to have ‘blown’ into Burke and Wills expedition proportions. Firstly after sorting out the baggage train with errant camels at the Zoological Gardens it is no Caravanserai. Then one needs to negotiate the trollway and the Monash Freeway which is not easy from the saddle of a long-legged ruminant and it’s already a ‘Highway from Hell’ without Bon Scott’s curdled wail and Malcolm and Angus’s three cord thrash. By the time you’ve arrived and survived fruitless hours in the PCR queue your beginning to wonder ‘“What’s this all about Alfie”’. And you don’t give a 🐀’s (test) when you find you are still very much on the outer beyond the cyclone fence. Despite being dutifully doubly vaxxed and patiently awaiting your booster. Meanwhile in the long summer grass you’re having to deal with the ‘locals’, deadly vipers and the natives who are according to some disjointed infrequent reports are not necessarily all that ‘friendly’. The final indignity some upstart probably the work experience factotum gets to choose today’s training Muzak!!! Makes you want to find a tree mark it “X”, dig a hole and bury your binoculars, ear muffs, pencil and notepad for next intrepid pith-helmeted expeditioneers. That will invariably fight their way out 'there' through the urban jungle attempting to illuminate the heart of darkness (sic) at pre-season training.

Or it could be something much more light-hearted senor like these three 'livewire' recruits.

Only a faint but distinctively Ennio Morricone soundtrack can be heard… The characteristic opening scene (as favoured by Sergio Leone) of the vast desiccated landscape comes to life… with the isolated, distant figure of a lone rider riding relentlessly upon his steed… as out of a suddenly awakened dream the cinema lights take effect illuminating the popcorn strewn theatre aisles… The credits roll… A new star has emerged from out west … In the role as “El Gringo” for another Simon Goodwin desperado linguine production is… …Judd McVee

On the biggest stage, on the last Saturday of the season when it counts, the performance of the Viney, Harmes and Brayshaw was irrefutably superior to the purported Footscray trio. VENI VICI VIDI.

Trip back in the Wells machine. Croxton Park Pub on a Saturday night . Bon Scott and the lads… MFC❤️land?

They might be getting bored of Doggy style though. Perhaps we could introduce some bondage And we thought 'Land was family friendly...

Wellsy road safety rules! Sliding Doors moment. Both were safely delivered to their “desired” destinations. Besides the karma bus is so passé post premiership. We now have the karma jet this is your captain (trac) speaking! Isaac Smith can always go to the vault, but Howie may still get to take a hanger or two and kick a sausage. Bucks is out the door and with a recently created vacancy up forward who knows…

Endorse what most others are saying here. Astute observers would of course be cognisant of young Captain Jack’s bravura performance against the dreaded colliwobbles in the AFL’s Covid blockbuster series one. Before injury prematurely ended his 2020 seAson. Grabbed his opportunity by the proverbials last campaign. Stamping his authority with some rousing play making on the biggest stage. Young man on the rise.

Like chronic visual flatulence desperately seeking an enema to end the agony. Bit like JN’s late movie career…

Demons are the heavyweight champions who made the other premiership ‘contenders’ last finals campaign look like a bunch of bantam weights. When the “live” show arrives at the ‘G’ next season enjoy. Come rain or shine whoever.

The Tigers of that era were the champion team with Tommy Hafey coach and Graeme Richmond secretary. Len Smith brother of Norm had laid the foundations of course. Royce Hart was one of the great centre forwards often courageously floating into the front of the pack to take a one grab mark. His drop punts for goal were bio-mechanical perfection, he rarely missed. More Lamborghini Miura than Rolls, whereas Greg Parke was more your EH Holden Ute with a souped-up 186. Possessed a powerfully athletic leap out of the Merri Creek mud of the MCG centre square to take many thrilling pack marks. His kicking as noted previously on this thread was less artful. One of my first demon heroes. Vale GP.

Massive DIO! Titus O'Reilly's Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: Grand Final is a worthy addition.

Jacko was the spark that ignited the the 🧨 demon response but Gus, Max and Kossie (despite v low possessions never gave up.

Unfortunately your top end correspondents press credentials proved to be momentarily invalid but we were able to doorstop #3 obviously pumped and a nice young bloke to boot.

At the Cott ❤️ 💙

Update possible UFO sighting? Just glimpsed McQueen’s machine parambulating around roundabout in front of Scarborough’s Rendezvous Grand. Must be on autopilot!

❤️ 💙 and soul player super impressive performance particularly when the bullies were running rampant. Absolute clutch mark, kick and goal in the team’s brilliant 3rd quarter revival. Plus being a top bloke. Always been a stayer IMM.

Sunny warm and in fast moving queue to the Camfield Pub!

That was so last week Chook! Its a definite RSPCA alert felines first then smack the doggies!

Perfect Day Saturday 25th September 2021!

Never! Waited lfor 57 years, 12 extra hours is nothing!

Woke up feeling like when I was kid Christmas morning. Sun is shining here it’s going to be a great day!

Max might be the messiah but you sir are the prophet. Any tips for the double at dapto?

Sh*te! And the ‘Bont’ was meant to pick up Naughton, Smith and Weightman from Teddy’s hairdressing salon!

Can now reveal under Freedom of information legislation (thank you Premier McGowan) on AFL Grand Final morning. That your Top End correspondents have managed to ‘negotiate’ the WA frontier and have been ‘embedded’ in the Demons campaign here in Perth. We will endeavour as representatives of demon land to be on our ‘best’ behaviour all day and honour the traditional proprieties but there are no guarantees after the siren🚨! Just to give you folks back in the demon heartland some local colour. Former captain Gary Lyon is ensconced in the Crown Casino Towers, a little too rich for us humble folk down here at ground zero in an air b&b. We have ‘co-mingled’ as much as is possible with the troops and can report team morale is high and the preparation for ‘battle’ is at an absolute optimum. The locals are ‘abuzz’ with the prospect of a Perth based Grand Final. With a perceptible groundswell of support for the red and the blue. The local media coverage with Ben Cousins redemption prominent, the Nik Nat and Nat show is in full swing. As expected the eagles and dockers don’t seem to disappear with seemingly acres of column space devoted to their post-season trivia. Just inside the back pages. Of the local demonland identities? We are on the lookout for a vintage Ford Mustang on high revs, screaming about the Swan river escarpment. But alas no sightings as yet, besides the public transport infrastructure has improved significantly since our last visit. When we bravely stood on the terraces at Subiaco to barrack on Robbie Flower resplendent in the Big White V. Pennant St Dee and Chook are indubitably out there and will be in attendance. Although we are reliably informed DannyZ up early for breakfast has apparently choked on his porridge.