I wish I knew what to say. I don't know you but we can all hear your pain. Let your family help you. They will be devastated but equally they will want to do this with you. Seeing a counsellor with your family may halp but most of all fight it and be positive because good things do happen. Keep reading the forum if for nothing but a good laugh at some of the idiotic things people post here (myself included) Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.