Whispering_Jack

ORANGE AND CHARCOAL - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club Chapter One Saturday, March 3, 2012 The Virgin Australia airlines jet bound for Launceston was sitting idly on the Sydney tarmac. The afternoon was hot and the acrid scent of avgas pervaded the air causing discomfort to the passengers who waited nervously for the pilot to get them under way. As it was, the plane was already 15 minutes late when the final call was made for the passengers who had failed to check in for the flight. There were three of them; all playing members of the new AFL franchise team on the way to its first fully fledged match, a NAB Cup round game at Aurora Stadium against the Hawthorn Football Club but not one of them would make the flight down south. Two weeks earlier, the Greater Western Sydney Giants were due to make their debut in AFL company at Blacktown International Sportspark in the heartland of the western suburbs of the country's most populous state but the three way half-game competition also involving Collingwood and the Western Bulldogs was abandoned in unusual circumstances due to a bomb scare. The call received at the state's essential services department suggested that an explosive device had been planted in the visitor's room and set to detonate at half time. The Giants were losing their first game by 73 points at that stage. A hastily convened meeting of the AFL Commission declared all three scheduled fixtures as "no games" and awarded maximum points to the clubs involved and so for a brief period, the fledgling Giants were perched on top of the NAB Cup table, albeit equally with two other clubs. There was no bomb and authorities traced the call to an unidentified mobile phone located in the official AFL Commission box at the ground but there was insufficient evidence to make an arrest. Video footage which showed a dark, swarthy individual of heavy build making a call was inconclusive and, in any event, lost before it could be examined by forensic experts. All records of the first part of the game played before proceedings were called off for the evening were erased, the Fox telecast which was mysteriously jammed after Collingwood's fifth goal was never replayed and cannot now be located in either Foxtel or AFL archives. Now, as the GWS team manager waited nervously at the Virgin desk for a sight of his three missing footballers, he recalled an interview conducted for Fox Sports News and aired that morning. One of the three, a high priced recruit from a rival club who had been ruled out of today's game with knee soreness, had been asked what he was planning to do on this trip to Launceston and the answer was somewhat baffling at the time. "Nothing really, just having a look around". The team manager peered down at his copy of the Sydney Daily Telegraph, turned to the sports pages and his face turned to white at the sight of the headline announcing the impending birth, scheduled for the 2013 season, of the AFL's new Launceston franchise, the Lyre Birds. Beads of sweat were pouring down his back by the time he dialed the number of the team's coach who he knew would be reclining at that very moment in business class row two on the window side. "Kevin, we have a problem". "What is it now. We haven't left the marshmallows behind, have we?" "No. Much worse than that. Where's Phil?" To be continued ... I've just realised that I should have done an introduction or a preface so that can come next but in the meantime, if someone could do a foreword, this would be appreciated. Then we can have a crack at workshopping chapter two - the arrival at Launceston Airport.

Well why not? Perhaps something in serialised form? We can call it "Orange & Charcoal". Give me some time to think about it and I'll come up with the opening chapter.

What history? Apart from some Mickey Mouse stuff in the NEAFL last year, they don't have no history to speak of other than the subterfuge involving people we're not allowed to mention around here.

Have those horses finished running yet?

Not quite right Rhino. Max made his test debut in the second test at Melbourne along with Jeff Thomson who was belted around the park and took 0-100 in the first innings. The test started exactly 39 years ago today - there was no Boxing Day test back then. I was there when Thommo opened the bowling with Dennis Lillee who also had a tough time taking 1 fer about 90. Sadiqh and Mushtaq Mohammed carted us all over the ground for centuries in a mammoth first innings score but we still knocked them over cheaply in the second innings. Maxy took 2 in the first dig and 3 in the second and we ended up beating them. Sheahan got his ton in the second innings but that was a year after the John Benaud century. Thommo was dropped for the third test in Sydney which was the one in which Watkins made his debut. The third test was the one in which Walker took his 6-15 in the second innings. I was in Sydney at the time for a family wedding and had a clear day for the last day of the test but my transport from the north shore to the SCG was stuffed up so badly that I arrived at the ground late. The Pakistanis were chasing 159 in the final innings and were about 2-40 overnight. I got to the ground in time to watch the last two wickets to fall, the last to Walker. The catcher was Watkins who did very little else in the match. They were all out for a little over 100. I then had about five hours to spare before I was due to be picked up by my hosts in Sydney which I spent sprawled on the grass at Centennial Park reading several hundred pages of Lord of the Rings. I think I dreamed that night about a Bilbo Baggins taking a hat trick on the SCG.

I was a bit worried that it might be a trick question because of the fact that he was dropped before making his one and only test century. I think Michael Hussey might find it a tough ask to score a ton in this current test but I reckon if they had to name the team for the Sydney test last night, he might have been in the same boat as young Benaud was almost 40 years ago.

Does he have a brother named Richie?

A couple of weeks and the Australian Open Tennis will be dominating the sports media and the footy won't be getting a look in. The next month is usually totally bereft of football. A good time to read thriller novels, go to the movies or listen to your favourite music.

Won't happen for the second test but it's only a matter of time before James Faulkner gets the all rounder's spot. I personally would have had him in this test ahead of Hussey, promoting Haddin to 6 and batting him at 7. I think Faulkner has more penetration as a bowler and is more solid in his batting.

Open up them Golden Gates.

What are the experts' comments about the pitch? It's hard to tell on the tv but it seems that it might become a perfect wicket for batting and, given what we're going to be up against, a big indian first innings score beckons.

Spot on - 12 each. As to the issue of bad luck dogging out of form players, I know the feeling. Dogged me throughout my entire career.

Quick Quiz: Since January, 2008 who has made the most ducks in test cricket - Michael Hussey or Chris Martin?

That's cricket. You can't overrule the umpire in these tests so we just have to get on with the game and get over it.

How does this Ed Cowan go in the 50 over game and the 20/20 stuff?

Here's the selected team for the First Test:- Michael Clarke (capt) Brad Haddin Ed Cowan Ben Hilfenhaus Michael Hussey Nathan Lyon Shaun Marsh James Pattinson Ricky Ponting Peter Siddle David Warner Mitchell Starc (12th man) The battle is between two test sides both flawed and both underperformers of late. One at the end of its cycle, the other in team building phase. Interesting stuff to come. I'm not convinced about the Australian bowling attack against the strength of the Indian batsmen but accept that, in those circumstances, Christian would have had to come in at the expense of either Ponting or Hussey and I don't think the selectors are prepared to do this just yet. The two vets will need to perform if they are to remain in the side.

"we've done banana fritters sir"

I thought the ABC crowd went to Merghellina Pizza a bit further down Glenhuntly Road on Fridays. Best pizza in town (current owner also Steve). I often used to see ABC personalities down there - Noni Hazelhurst, the bloke who played Harold in Neighbours (?). Before she became a parliamentarian we used to see Mary Delahunty. Of course, when I was a kid you could get a sight of the great JO'K.

The long soup with the flat noodles is a special. If this keeps up I'm going to claim some advertising from Steven the proprietor. I have some good stories about the place when I think it was his mother in later years who served and was sometimes a bit forgetful.

WYL - I go there sometimes too. Occasionally, I lunch with some other avid Demon fans as well. Perhaps we might catch up there some time.

I apologise about the annoying subtitles but I think it's important to share the humour around in a multicultural Australia that also has an abundant supply of fruit.

Self-defense against Fresh Fruit is not just humour - it's also strongly tinged with political comment. Nevertheless, is it possible to find the script or better still, the sketch on You Tube?

I think my Truth highlight came about five or six years after I finished school and they ran a story about a former teacher and his involvement in some exotic love tryst that had him in a situation the article described as a "ménage a trois". Unfortunately, the subject he taught wasn't French, which was a subject I detested and had happily given up after Form 2 (Year 8 for those under 50) so I never quite understood what it was all about.

There is a separate thread for that form of the game but I wasn't impressed by last night's game. However, I think they're really for different audiences in many cases. There seems to be a belief that participation in 20:20 has affected the cricket development of many players and weakened the test side. That's the theory but I don't know if that's the reason for Australia's demise in test cricket.

Now that's quite enough people. Redleg, that horse racing stuff encourages people to gamble. We can't have that here except during the Autumn Carnival. And no more political discussion here or any discussion about whether or not what someone says is political. I'll do the moderator's thing and ban it. Now, where were we. Yes. Truth. They had a writer called Brian Hansen who was always very forthright and got some good stories. I suppose he would have retired by now but he seemed to get the inside stories all the time. Anyone know what happened to him?