Mazer Rackham

This morning, Eddie McGuire's toast tastes like ashes and his coffee is exceptionally bitter. Moore was supposed to be their Weideman but he picked the wrong father-son hero.

Jesse will have to wins his flags with Casey. Can't fit him in the 22 now

"Grandson of Magpies legend stars in final"

You had me at bullied. We bullied another team! GO DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He picks up on discrepancies, or things that seem a bit out of kilter ... like a good journo would ... but then he doesn't seem to be able to think through whether it's a big deal or not.. EG when the draw for the finals was announced, he picked up on the fact that there have been interstate finals in Perth and Adelaide on a Thursday before ... but not this year. WCE v CFC not on a Thursday! Gerry's conclusion: something is afoot! Why not this year? Scoop! You can almost hear him mentally rehearsing his Pulitzer prize acceptance speech. So he got on the AFL guy to put him through the mincer ... only to find it was for the very prosaic reason that public transport on Thursday nights in Perth is dreadful. He does it again and again. Thinks he's uncovered Watergate only to find it's more like water glass. Meanwhile actual big deals get glossed over by him. Old joke: Twately has no nose for news. How does he smell? Terrible!

Haven't you heard? He's in Las Vegas on the end of season trip with the Freo boys.

I suppose on that lonely island for all those years, with nothing to do, all kinds of strange things ensued. Must be the tropical water. (Me, even at a tender young age, I always envisaged "crossing" with Mary Anne.) I guess you learned about MFC from distant 3UZ broadcasts. The professor must have got the radio working then?

No, no good summary. As you say, just hints. But it was a "Mankind Project" camp. tons of stuff on the internet about Mankind Project, but most of it is put out there the Mankind Project itself. You really want stuff written by people who aren't part of the Mankind Project. Best thing I've found is this, by a guy who attended one of their camps. I had also been tipped off by a number of concerned wives - who'd noticed disturbing changes in their husbands' behaviour since attending one of ManKind's UK weekends away. ... Deprived of food and sleep and subjected to the raging emotions of people around me, I am instructed to strip, put my blindfold back on and hold the hand of the man next to me. My (very) weird weekend with the naked woodland warriors who travel to remote England to 'reclaim their masculinity'

Because some idiot forgot to turn it off! And now it's wearing out the internet's batteries.

Yes they were. Nathan swatted them away easily. He said "Ah hear someone 'round hereabouts is saying some downright mean things about mah mag-pahs." And Gerry said "don't shoot me! I'm only the piano player!" Cut to ads.

This is a real match so they can just count the turnstiles and won't have to pull out their patented "GWS attendance reckoning" technology

Either way they won't be able to use their ticket themselves. Are you planning something OD?

Last year Bartlett was rating 4.6 and 4.7 This year ... first it was "he hasn't been there for the whole ratings period", and "he was off doing the gridiron" and "the world cup ate into ratings generally" ... but now there's nowhere to hide. Usually SEN ratings vary by noise but when other slots are going up or down by 0.1 and Gerry goes down by 0.7 ... it's not Hutchy's imagination any more. I think his "Jon Faine lite" format is not bad. It's his lousy nose for news, and his inability to engage with callers.

This is true for anyone trying to sell anything online. Even they're not trying to literally sell online but just advertise. They have to account for these things ... and do. Ticketek do not have a unique problem on their hands. The debacle is all down to Ticketek being too cheap to spring for extra processing grunt.

Yeah, I had different dramas. Signed on at 12:58 ready to spring ..... at 12:59:55 got an urgent phone call. No!!! 15 mins later ... MCG map wouldn't refresh. Then timed out after ticket selection and had to start from scratch ... my beautiful first choice tickets were then not available! But, have tix so all is well.

Collingwood supporters maybe? Tell them it's Ticketek!

Tex: come on boys. Let's scare the hell out of them other teams with our own ....... what's that thing the Kiwis do? Players: the haka? Tex: is that what it's called? So yeah, let's do our own Adelaide hokey thingy. Players: haka Tex: that's what I said! First stand like this. Players: got it. Then what? Tex: I dunno. Ummmmmmmmmm ..... (they stand there for three minutes while Tex wracks his brains for a second move) Tex: Ummm ... and that's it! Gotta be worth 3 goals a game! Players: (*thinks*) Our leader. Sh*t. I wonder if Carlton/Gold Coast/St Kilda need a half forward/back pocket/on baller/etc

The Dick-Head-tek web site is with Amazon, where you can order more grunt when you need it and hand it back when you don't need it. They were probably trying to log on to the Amazon retail site and got confused by all the books, shoes and fancy can openers.

That web site is run by Telstra, no further explanation necessary

Thank you for your concern. Yes. I'm talking about MCC tix.

Nothing in his contract to tie his bonus to ticketek performance, so where's the problem?

Looks like I've got prime seats in front of the TV. Tickets sold out from under my nose while I was waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting ... log in ...wait wait wait wait.... enter bar code, choose tix ... wait wait wait wait ... refresh .... more bays have disappeared ... have to log in again ... wait wait wait ... have to enter bar code for 100th time ... get message: "Please go back and try again. This was unexpected." Have to go back to start. Finally get this: "There aren't enough tickets to meet your request right now. Please try a different ticket category or type, with a reduced quantity of tickets. If you receive this message even when selecting only one ticket, all remaining tickets are being transacted by other customers." These guys need to apply for the world cup rights. They've got their f***kup game down pat.

Admit it, they do a balls out job of "servicing" their customers.

I don't think anyone wanted us to go on a fake macho camp run by would-be Rambos who've watched too many Schwarzenegger and Steven Seagal movies, and end up injured physically or psychologically. The issue was always the way the players went behind the club's back. Indicated a rift in the club which had the potential to Adelaide our season. Adelaide lived out precisely the season we feared we might wear because of the rift. Fortunately we appear to have overcome that and amazingly enough, our recent on-field success is the mental breakthrough we needed, not midnight hazings while naked in blackface. No more camps and no more rifts. Go Demons!

Background: A 'cult-like’ pre-season camp debacle left senior Adelaide Crows players distressed Entitled the ‘Mankind Project’ and run by Collective Minds, players were asked to complete emotionally upsetting questionnaires, as well as a variety of tasks that sources say also had at least one assistant coach questioning the merits of the mental elements of the camp. Now read on ... My (very) weird weekend with the naked woodland warriors who travel to remote England to 'reclaim their masculinity' I have signed up to the ManKind Project, an all-male group boasting 1,700 UK members that aims to release men's 'inner warrior' and reclaim their masculinity.