Demonland

A BIG LAUGH by The Oracle This season has produced very little for Melbourne supporters to smile about as the club has been hit by disasters off the field and pushed from pillar to post on it. The calamities that have affected the Demons have certainly been well documented and little of it has been funny. This is why I was somewhat puzzled to see the three talking heads on On The Couch giggling away with amusement after showing a film clip of Melbourne Chairman that selectively focussed on part of the comments he made to members at a lunch before last week's game against the Gold Coast Suns concerning the tanking controversy initiated by an interview on the programme with former player Brock McLean. Of course, they would not be laughing if they had to respond to the substantive matters McLardy discussed and about which On The Couch omitted to mention; namely the issues surrounding list management that are a fundamental to our game and which affect most clubs from time to time. And we all know that Melbourne has not been alone here although the panel was apparently collectively inflicted by amnesia about how McLean's current club rorted the system so that they forgot to ask him why, if he held such high principles, did he move on to the Blues of all clubs after leaving the Demons? What McLardy said was reported in the Melbourne Age in rebuttal of claims that McLean had declared on the programme that Melbourne deliberately lost games to gain valuable draft picks (actually McLean described what happened as not tanking but "experimenting" but the facts should never get in the way of a good story) – Demons re-sign key players, Schwab:- I understand how three people with a megaphone and an agenda can misrepresent the club's position and ignore the thrust of what McLardy said but it wasn't funny and it reflected poorly on the presenters of On The Couch. As the great Groucho Marx would say: "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." I reckon Groucho must have been thinking about the three clowns on On The Couch. Unfortunately for them, Melbourne produced some winning form last weekend against the Gold Coast Suns. Sure, it wasn't a flashy or convincing win but the margin was 42 points. One might think a win of that size would mean the club could avoid criticism from the usual suspects but a few decided the loss was shameful; the winning margin should have been double that and Melbourne's effort is therefore deemed a failure and indicative of a poor culture. Never mind that the Suns' recent form hasn't been all that bad. On 8 July, they lost to Geelong by 14 points, a week later they beat Richmond by 2 points and after that lost to the Lions by 11 points. Their only recent thumping was at the hands of ladder leader Sydney. The media circus continues with another one-sided stab against Melbourne in today's Age concerning the retirement of Brad Green who has been a great servant of the club and yesterday announced he was leaving at the end of the season. The press conference was conducted with great professionalism and in the style of the club champion the 251 gamer conducted himself throughout his illustrious career. In the circumstances, it was disappointing for the Age to immediately jump in and focus on the whether Melbourne had been disloyal to Green suggesting it should have kept him on irrespective form or the player's drive to continue on further. It will be a matter of much amusement to see whether such an approach will be taken in the case of other impending retirements at clubs like the Western Bulldogs in the weeks to come. To the media gurus who think they know everything, I say you're not funny but you certainly are a joke. Thanks for giving me a big laugh! And now, it's on to the MCG and the Saints who are starting at the ridiculous odds of $1.06 to win. That's funny too. THE GAME St. Kilda v Melbourne at MCG Saturday 11 August, 2012 at 1:45pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall St. Kilda 84 wins Melbourne 118 wins 1 drawn At MCG St. Kilda 32 wins Melbourne 58 wins Since 2000 St. Kilda 9 wins Melbourne 9 wins The Coaches Watters 1 win Neeld 0 wins MEDIA TV Fox Footy Channel Live at 1.30pm Channel 7 (delayed at 3.00pm) RADIO 3AW Triple M THE BETTING St. Kilda to win $1.06 Melbourne to win $9.50 THE LAST TIME THEY MET St. Kilda 12.12.84 defeated Melbourne 10.6.66 Round 5, 2012 at the MCG The teams slugged it out for three quarters going goal for goal in wet conditions on a Saturday night. Mitch Clark was missed and he would have been handy at full forward in the last quarter when the Demons failed to score. THE TEAMS ST. KILDA Backs Jarryn Geary James Gwilt Tom Simpkin Half backs Sean Dempster Sam Fisher Sam Gilbert Centreline Farren Ray Lenny Hayes Brendon Goddard Half forwards Ahmed Saad Nick Riewoldt Nick Dal Santo Forwards Stephen Milne Justin Koschitzke Sam Dunell Followers Ben McEvoy David Armitage Leigh Montagna Interchange Jason Gram Clinton Jones Jack Steven Beau Wilkes Emergencies Jamie Cripps Tom Ledger Dean Polo In Beau Wilkes Out Dean Polo MELBOURNE Backs Joel Macdonald James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Lynden Dunn Matthew Bate Colin Garland Centreline Jack Trengove Brent Moloney Sam Blease Half forwards Neville Jetta Jared Rivers Rohan Bail Forwards Jeremy Howe Brad Green Colin Sylvia Followers Jake Spencer Jack Grimes Nathan Jones Interchange Jordie McKenzie James Magner James Strauss Luke Tapscott Emergencies Michael Evans Jack Fitzpatrick Jordan Gysberts In Matthew Bate Neville Jetta Jordie McKenzie Out James Frawley (quad) Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton (shoulder) It's a pity from Melbourne's point of view that Stephen Milne is free to play on Saturday after being fined $3,000 by St Kilda for making a homophobic comment towards Harry O'Brien. The little pest always seems to be the first to kick a goal (or two) in St. Kilda v Melbourne games and the Dees best bet to control the damage he might inflict, Clint Bartram, is languishing on their long injured list which last week stretched to about 15 players. By way of contrast, the Saints have close to a full list of players from which to select their team this week. According to this week's Age, it reads like this: ST KILDA Adam Schneider (hamstring) 1 wk Rhys Stanley (hamstring) 1-2 wks Darren Minchington (hip) season This compares well with the miraculous situation over at Arden Street where this is the situation on an almost weekly basis:- NORTH MELBOURNE Leigh Adams (shoulder) test Tom Curran (foot) season [a late addition to this list is Hamish McIntosh who faces LARS surgery on his knee which also rules him out for the season] The end result is that a full strength St. Kilda which needs to make every post a winner is taking on an emaciated Melbourne which is variously considered as tanking, experimenting, suffering from a losing culture (even when it wins games by seven goals). The game will still have its points of interest. Nathan Jones is having a stellar season and has set a great example to many of his teammates as to how to go about things from the very start of the pre season and right through the highs and mainly the lows of the year. It's a pity that very few have followed that example although Tom McDonald is one who has worked hard to make himself a valued member of the team. He took on Nick Riewoldt last time the teams met and acquitted himself well enough to be given the task again. The two skippers have been under fire for most of the year but are slowly coming of age. Their experience in difficult times will hold them in good stead in the years to come when the team takes on a different shape. Against the Saints, Grimes plays only his 50th game. Trengove reached that mark a few weeks ago. One day their appointment as joint captains may well be seen as an inspired move. At the other end of the scale a rejuvenated Green should continue to kick goals but the Demon forward line is bereft of star players. We might see another mark of the year from high flyer Jeremy Howe but, in reality, there's not enough goal kicking capacity for me to say the Demons will get close to causing an upset. The result is a foregone conclusion - an absolute no brainer with the Saints to win and win well. St. Kilda by 40 points If you want a real laugh I recommend the play GROUCHO commencing on 15 August 2012 for a short season at Chapel Off Chapel. If Demonlanders book tickets and confirm their booking and ticket number with Demonland by PM, a donation of $4.00 per ticket will be made to a charity connected with mental health.

A BIG LAUGH by The Oracle This season has produced very little for Melbourne supporters to smile about as the club has been hit by disasters off the field and pushed from pillar to post on it. The calamities that have affected the Demons have certainly been well documented and little of it has been funny. This is why I was somewhat puzzled to see the three talking heads on On The Couch giggling away with amusement after showing a film clip of Melbourne Chairman that selectively focussed on part of the comments he made to members at a lunch before last week's game against the Gold Coast Suns concerning the tanking controversy initiated by an interview on the programme with former player Brock McLean. Of course, they would not be laughing if they had to respond to the substantive matters McLardy discussed and about which On The Couch omitted to mention; namely the issues surrounding list management that are a fundamental to our game and which affect most clubs from time to time. And we all know that Melbourne has not been alone here although the panel was apparently collectively inflicted by amnesia about how McLean's current club rorted the system so that they forgot to ask him why, if he held such high principles, did he move on to the Blues of all clubs after leaving the Demons? What McLardy said was reported in the Melbourne Age in rebuttal of claims that McLean had declared on the programme that Melbourne deliberately lost games to gain valuable draft picks (actually McLean described what happened as not tanking but "experimenting" but the facts should never get in the way of a good story) – Demons re-sign key players, Schwab:- I understand how three people with a megaphone and an agenda can misrepresent the club's position and ignore the thrust of what McLardy said but it wasn't funny and it reflected poorly on the presenters of On The Couch. As the great Groucho Marx would say: "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." I reckon Groucho must have been thinking about the three clowns on On The Couch. Unfortunately for them, Melbourne produced some winning form last weekend against the Gold Coast Suns. Sure, it wasn't a flashy or convincing win but the margin was 42 points. One might think a win of that size would mean the club could avoid criticism from the usual suspects but a few decided the loss was shameful; the winning margin should have been double that and Melbourne's effort is therefore deemed a failure and indicative of a poor culture. Never mind that the Suns' recent form hasn't been all that bad. On 8 July, they lost to Geelong by 14 points, a week later they beat Richmond by 2 points and after that lost to the Lions by 11 points. Their only recent thumping was at the hands of ladder leader Sydney. The media circus continues with another one-sided stab against Melbourne in today's Age concerning the retirement of Brad Green who has been a great servant of the club and yesterday announced he was leaving at the end of the season. The press conference was conducted with great professionalism and in the style of the club champion the 251 gamer conducted himself throughout his illustrious career. In the circumstances, it was disappointing for the Age to immediately jump in and focus on the whether Melbourne had been disloyal to Green suggesting it should have kept him on irrespective form or the player's drive to continue on further. It will be a matter of much amusement to see whether such an approach will be taken in the case of other impending retirements at clubs like the Western Bulldogs in the weeks to come. To the media gurus who think they know everything, I say you're not funny but you certainly are a joke. Thanks for giving me a big laugh! And now, it's on to the MCG and the Saints who are starting at the ridiculous odds of $1.06 to win. That's funny too. THE GAME St. Kilda v Melbourne at MCG Saturday 11 August, 2012 at 1:45pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall St. Kilda 84 wins Melbourne 118 wins 1 drawn At MCG St. Kilda 32 wins Melbourne 58 wins Since 2000 St. Kilda 9 wins Melbourne 9 wins The Coaches Watters 1 win Neeld 0 wins MEDIA TV Fox Footy Channel Live at 1.30pm Channel 7 (delayed at 3.00pm) RADIO 3AW Triple M THE BETTING St. Kilda to win $1.06 Melbourne to win $9.50 THE LAST TIME THEY MET St. Kilda 12.12.84 defeated Melbourne 10.6.66 Round 5, 2012 at the MCG The teams slugged it out for three quarters going goal for goal in wet conditions on a Saturday night. Mitch Clark was missed and he would have been handy at full forward in the last quarter when the Demons failed to score. THE TEAMS ST. KILDA Backs Jarryn Geary James Gwilt Tom Simpkin Half backs Sean Dempster Sam Fisher Sam Gilbert Centreline Farren Ray Lenny Hayes Brendon Goddard Half forwards Ahmed Saad Nick Riewoldt Nick Dal Santo Forwards Stephen Milne Justin Koschitzke Sam Dunell Followers Ben McEvoy David Armitage Leigh Montagna Interchange Jason Gram Clinton Jones Jack Steven Beau Wilkes Emergencies Jamie Cripps Tom Ledger Dean Polo In Beau Wilkes Out Dean Polo MELBOURNE Backs Joel Macdonald James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Lynden Dunn Matthew Bate Colin Garland Centreline Jack Trengove Brent Moloney Sam Blease Half forwards Neville Jetta Jared Rivers Rohan Bail Forwards Jeremy Howe Brad Green Colin Sylvia Followers Jake Spencer Jack Grimes Nathan Jones Interchange Jordie McKenzie James Magner James Strauss Luke Tapscott Emergencies Michael Evans Jack Fitzpatrick Jordan Gysberts In Matthew Bate Neville Jetta Jordie McKenzie Out James Frawley (quad) Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton (shoulder) It's a pity from Melbourne's point of view that Stephen Milne is free to play on Saturday after being fined $3,000 by St Kilda for making a homophobic comment towards Harry O'Brien. The little pest always seems to be the first to kick a goal (or two) in St. Kilda v Melbourne games and the Dees best bet to control the damage he might inflict, Clint Bartram, is languishing on their long injured list which last week stretched to about 15 players. By way of contrast, the Saints have close to a full list of players from which to select their team this week. According to this week's Age, it reads like this: ST KILDA Adam Schneider (hamstring) 1 wk Rhys Stanley (hamstring) 1-2 wks Darren Minchington (hip) season This compares well with the miraculous situation over at Arden Street where this is the situation on an almost weekly basis:- NORTH MELBOURNE Leigh Adams (shoulder) test Tom Curran (foot) season [a late addition to this list is Hamish McIntosh who faces LARS surgery on his knee which also rules him out for the season] The end result is that a full strength St. Kilda which needs to make every post a winner is taking on an emaciated Melbourne which is variously considered as tanking, experimenting, suffering from a losing culture (even when it wins games by seven goals). The game will still have its points of interest. Nathan Jones is having a stellar season and has set a great example to many of his teammates as to how to go about things from the very start of the pre season and right through the highs and mainly the lows of the year. It's a pity that very few have followed that example although Tom McDonald is one who has worked hard to make himself a valued member of the team. He took on Nick Riewoldt last time the teams met and acquitted himself well enough to be given the task again. The two skippers have been under fire for most of the year but are slowly coming of age. Their experience in difficult times will hold them in good stead in the years to come when the team takes on a different shape. Against the Saints, Grimes plays only his 50th game. Trengove reached that mark a few weeks ago. One day their appointment as joint captains may well be seen as an inspired move. At the other end of the scale a rejuvenated Green should continue to kick goals but the Demon forward line is bereft of star players. We might see another mark of the year from high flyer Jeremy Howe but, in reality, there's not enough goal kicking capacity for me to say the Demons will get close to causing an upset. The result is a foregone conclusion - an absolute no brainer with the Saints to win and win well. St. Kilda by 40 points If you want a real laugh I recommend the play GROUCHO commencing on 15 August 2012 for a short season at Chapel Off Chapel. If Demonlanders book tickets and confirm their booking and ticket number with Demonland by PM, a donation of $4.00 per ticket will be made to a charity connected with mental health.

We made a good fist of this game for three quarters while Mitch Clark was out with concussion MELBOURNE Backs James Frawley Jared Rivers Clint Bartram Half backs Cale Morton Colin Garland Jack Grimes Centreline Jordie McKenzie Brent Moloney Tom McDonald Half forwards Nathan Jones James Sellar Jeremy Howe Forwards Colin Sylvia Lynden Dunn Aaron Davey Followers Mark Jamar James Magner Jack Trengove Interchange Rohan Bail Matthew Bate Joel Macdonald Jack Watts Emergencies Jack Fitzpatrick Ricky Petterd Luke Tapscott In Jack Grimes Colin Sylvia Out Mitchell Clark (concussion) Luke Tapscott ST. KILDA Backs Jason Blake Sam Gilbert Jarryn Geary Half backs Sean Dempster Sam Fisher Tom Simpkin Centreline Brendon Goddard Lenny Hayes Nick Dal Santo Half forwards Leigh Montagna Nick Riewoldt Jack Steven Forwards Terry Milera Rhys Stanley Stephen Milne Followers Ben McEvoy Dean Polo Clinton Jones Interchange David Armitage Jamie Cripps Jason Gram Jack Newnes Emergencies Tom Ledger Arryn Siposs Beau Wilkes In Jason Gram Out Justin Koschitzke (suspended)

This is definitely a first for us. Nathan Jones has passed the double century before anyone else has scored a ton. That's Don Bradmanlike! 202 Nathan Jones 81 Mitch Clark 78 Jared Rivers 75 Jack Watts 70 Jeremy Howe 65 Jack Grimes 62 Tom McDonald James Magner 50 Jordie McKenzie 45 James Frawley 40 Colin Sylvia 31 Stef Martin 30 Brad Green 29 Dan Nicholson 28 Sam Blease 26 Matthew Bate Jack Trengove 20 Colin Garland 19 Cale Morton 15 Clint Bartram Joel Macdonald 14 Rohan Bail 8 Lynden Dunn James Sellar 7 Neville Jetta 4 Luke Tapscott 3 Brent Moloney Jake Spencer 1 Aaron Davey

THE HOWE JONES INDEX by Mean Gene After yet another torrid week in a difficult year for the Melbourne Football Club, the Demons stocks climbed and eventually hit the roof. It started before the game when it was announced that leadership group member Nathan Jones, a certainty to be club champion this year and high flying Jeremy Howe had both signed on for the next three years. Then, when the team ran out onto the ground, the newly signed duo set the example for their team mates and they blew their opponents off the field. In that respect, they had set the Howe Jones Football Index and it was mostly upward and positive after their club had received a whacking in the media, most of it undeserved and some of it based on sheer malevolence from persons with an agenda against the club, its board and its officialdom. In the early moments of the game we saw Howe, who is better known for his hangers, setting the example by shepherding perfectly for a team mate (he would keep the best of his highflying exploits for later in the game). Jones was burrowing into packs and laying tackles with as much, if not more, impact than his more celebrated chrome down counterpart from the opposition. Their example and the effect of their efforts told on the scoreboard as the team snuffed out the young Gold Coast Suns with six unanswered first quarter goals to take an unassailable forty point lead into the first break. It was a smashing of a first quarter and even the unlikely Jake Spencer joined in the festivities with his first ever AFL goal (in his first ever winning match after almost four seasons), albeit after a fifty metre penalty! It's true that, after that first quarter, the plucky Gold Coast Suns with Gary Ablett Junior and Harley Bennell on fire, managed to limit Melbourne's ascendency even as its men were going down like flies, it was still a big win for the home side even if it couldn't shut up the critics in the media who made no concession whatsoever for the depleted nature of a team that went into the weekend with more than a third of its list, 16 players, unavailable. Despite that fact, had they lost this match, it would have been odds on that those baying for blood last week would have been on automatic pilot droning on ad nauseum about the club's culture. Make no mistake about it, this was no classic contest in the mould of Friday night's epic between Geelong and Hawthorn but, for the Melbourne faithful starved of success for so long, it was good to see their team lead from go to whoa for once. Brad Green shrugged off his horror start to the season and demonstrated that he had not lost his ability to snag the goals and Lynden Dunn played a sterling game in defence proving that forwards can move back without raising suspicious eyebrows. Colin Sylvia is also returning to the sort of form expected of him and his strong marking and contribution to the goal tally were welcome after some of his earlier disappointments. The skippers are also raising their own personal bars with every week and I expect that the real benefits of the brave decision to give such young men the responsibility of leadership will bring its own dividends in the years to come. In the end, it was Howe again who soared over a pack and took his latest mark of the day for the highlights reel. The resulting goal saw the Howe Jones Football Index rise another notch. Melbourne 6.6.42 10.7.67 13.8.86 16.12.108 Gold Coast 0.2.2 4.5.29 5.9.399.12.66 Goals Melbourne Green 5 Blease Sylvia 2 Bail Howe Rivers Sellar Spencer Tapscott Trengove Gold Coast Bennell 4 Ablett Brennan Lynch Rischitelli Russell Best Melbourne Howe Jones Green Grimes Dunn Sylvia Gold Coast Bennell Ablett Harbrow Swallow Shaw Injuries Melbourne Morton (shoulder) Gold Coast Hunt (shoulder) Prestia (hamstring) Rischitelli (knee) Russell (shoulder) Smith (ankle) Changes Melbourne McKenzie (knee) replaced in selected side by Magner Gold Coast Stanley (shoulder) replaced in selected side by Weller Changes Melbourne Nil Gold Coast Nil Umpires Schmitt B Ryan H Ryan Crowd 18,097 at MCG

NORTHERN EXPOSURE by KC from Casey The Casey Scorpions have retained top spot on the 2012 Peter Jackson VFL ladder despite a disappointing 40 point home ground defeat at the hands of the lowly Northern Blues. The Scorpions were forced to make a number of changes to last week's winning line up losing Jordan Gysberts, Cale Morton and Luke Tapscott to the AFL. They also missed key players in ball magnet Tom Couch, who has been in exceptional form in the midfield, the versatile Ricky Petterd and the much improved Michael Riseley and were unfortunate enough at the same time to come up against a side in good form and bolstered by the return of several AFL players of their own. Sunshine and a tricky breeze greeted the players and despite the bright conditions it was a scrappy start with both sides making ball handling errors and poor decisions. It took until the 12 minute mark for the Blues to register their first goal and, after a couple of misses from close in by Jack Fitzpatrick, a major to Tim Smith gave the home side the lead for what was to be the only time for the afternoon. The game remained an arm wrestle until the Blues goaled at the 24 minute mark to take a five point lead and the floodgates opened with three more to the visitors opening up a handy 23 point lead at the first break. The second quarter was mainly a battle of defences but the Blues were winning the stoppages and had a far more open forward line. They skipped away to a 38 point lead with two goals in mid term with Casey struggling to get the ball past half forward. Leigh Williams got his team's first score for the quarter with a goal at the 22minute mark but the Northerners responded and were in complete control at half time. Honours were roughly even after the main break with Casey unable to reel in the Blues' big lead as the teams went goal for goal. The Scorps were able to get some more drive from the middle where Michael Evans was boring in and Matthew Bate worked hard to shrug off his tag. Evans provided one of the game's highlights with two bounces as he ran through the corridor to boot a long goal late in the quarter but his team was still trailing badly. The game opened up considerably in the final term with both sides kicking six goals but there was to be no rousing comeback for the Scorpions as there had been in their last home game against the Borough. Gus Patti who has been at Casey for a few years but played only his second senior game last week, put in an excellent game picking up 18 disposals and taking several strong marks mainly in a defence that struggled to contain its opposition forwards under the weight of an opposition that was constantly pumping the ball forward. Luke Hill showed a great deal of promise as did Leigh Williams with his three goals for the day. Fitzpatrick who had a big day out last week lowered his colours in the ruck duels but worked hard around the ground. The team hosts Geelong next Sunday and will be hoping for the return of several players from its injured list as the Cats are a much improved combination to the one which Casey easily accounted for earlier in the season. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Matthew Bate (16 kicks, 9 handballs, 4 marks, 9 tackles) - given that he was ill during the week and was tagged during the game, it was a fair effort from Bate. Not outstanding but a solid performance that would not rule him out of promotion for next weekend's game. Michael Evans (11 kicks, 4 handballs, 2 marks, 1 tackle, 1 goal) - put in a solid game and had a purple patch after half time boring into packs and moving the ball to his team's advantage. Also kicked a great running goal during the third quarter. Lucas Cook (7 kicks, 2 handballs, 2 marks, 3 tackles, 2 goals) - kicked a couple of goals but didn't exert himself on the game nearly enough. Troy Davis (7 kicks, 5 handballs, 3 marks) - it was a tough day for the Casey defenders but Davis had his moments. Jack Fitzpatrick (6 kicks, 3 handballs, 3, mark, 2 tackles, 2, goals) - beaten in the ruck by the bigger bodied Meese who had more than 50 hit outs. Fitzpatrick had 26, kicked a couple of goals and missed a couple more chances early in the game. Josh Tynan (2 Kicks, 3 handballs, 1 mark, 2 tackles) - only played in the first half and was quiet. Leigh Williams (8 kicks, 2 handballs, 5 marks, 1 tackle, 3 goals 2 behinds) - did his best work in the second half and did well to finish with three goals. Casey Scorpions 1.3.9 2.4.16 7.7.49 13.10.88 Northern Blues 5.2.32 8.5.53 14.6.90 20.8.128 Goals Casey Scorpions Williams 3 Cook Fitzpatrick Petropoulos 2 Evans Fieldsend Hill Smith Northern Blues Mitchell Thornton 5 Ellard O'Keeffe 3 Dale Marcon Thomas Wilson Best Casey Scorpions Patti Bate Hill Smith Williams McGough Northern Blues Marcon Ellard Meese Lambert Heyne Watson Disposals Bate 25 Pollard 19 Patti 18 Gent 16 Casey jumped North Ballarat in the development league game kicking eight goals to nil with the wind in the opening term and ran out easy winners by 36 points. HOW THE DEMON FARED Jai Sheahan (9 kicks, 3 marks, 1 goal) - has struggled with injury and lost form after a promising first half of the season. Casey Scorpions 8.4.52 10.9.69 14.11.95 17.16.118 North Ballarat 0.1.1 3.4.22 5.8.38 12.10.82 Goals Casey Scorpions Lang 4 Chin Cleven Galvin Lindsay 2 Eddy McInnes Sheahan Thompson Troutman North Ballarat Craig 3 Links Nicholls 2 Brayshaw Hansford Jones Kiel Peel Best Casey Scorpions Cleven Nicholls Roberts Lang Lindsay Troutman North Ballarat Currie Edwards Struth Anderson Nicholls Watson

NORTHERN EXPOSURE by KC from Casey The Casey Scorpions have retained top spot on the 2012 Peter Jackson VFL ladder despite a disappointing 40 point home ground defeat at the hands of the lowly Northern Blues. The Scorpions were forced to make a number of changes to last week's winning line up losing Jordan Gysberts, Cale Morton and Luke Tapscott to the AFL. They also missed key players in ball magnet Tom Couch, who has been in exceptional form in the midfield, the versatile Ricky Petterd and the much improved Michael Riseley and were unfortunate enough at the same time to come up against a side in good form and bolstered by the return of several AFL players of their own. Sunshine and a tricky breeze greeted the players and despite the bright conditions it was a scrappy start with both sides making ball handling errors and poor decisions. It took until the 12 minute mark for the Blues to register their first goal and, after a couple of misses from close in by Jack Fitzpatrick, a major to Tim Smith gave the home side the lead for what was to be the only time for the afternoon. The game remained an arm wrestle until the Blues goaled at the 24 minute mark to take a five point lead and the floodgates opened with three more to the visitors opening up a handy 23 point lead at the first break. The second quarter was mainly a battle of defences but the Blues were winning the stoppages and had a far more open forward line. They skipped away to a 38 point lead with two goals in mid term with Casey struggling to get the ball past half forward. Leigh Williams got his team's first score for the quarter with a goal at the 22minute mark but the Northerners responded and were in complete control at half time. Honours were roughly even after the main break with Casey unable to reel in the Blues' big lead as the teams went goal for goal. The Scorps were able to get some more drive from the middle where Michael Evans was boring in and Matthew Bate worked hard to shrug off his tag. Evans provided one of the game's highlights with two bounces as he ran through the corridor to boot a long goal late in the quarter but his team was still trailing badly. The game opened up considerably in the final term with both sides kicking six goals but there was to be no rousing comeback for the Scorpions as there had been in their last home game against the Borough. Gus Patti who has been at Casey for a few years but played only his second senior game last week, put in an excellent game picking up 18 disposals and taking several strong marks mainly in a defence that struggled to contain its opposition forwards under the weight of an opposition that was constantly pumping the ball forward. Luke Hill showed a great deal of promise as did Leigh Williams with his three goals for the day. Fitzpatrick who had a big day out last week lowered his colours in the ruck duels but worked hard around the ground. The team hosts Geelong next Sunday and will be hoping for the return of several players from its injured list as the Cats are a much improved combination to the one which Casey easily accounted for earlier in the season. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Matthew Bate (16 kicks, 9 handballs, 4 marks, 9 tackles) - given that he was ill during the week and was tagged during the game, it was a fair effort from Bate. Not outstanding but a solid performance that would not rule him out of promotion for next weekend's game. Michael Evans (11 kicks, 4 handballs, 2 marks, 1 tackle, 1 goal) - put in a solid game and had a purple patch after half time boring into packs and moving the ball to his team's advantage. Also kicked a great running goal during the third quarter. Lucas Cook (7 kicks, 2 handballs, 2 marks, 3 tackles, 2 goals) - kicked a couple of goals but didn't exert himself on the game nearly enough. Troy Davis (7 kicks, 5 handballs, 3 marks) - it was a tough day for the Casey defenders but Davis had his moments. Jack Fitzpatrick (6 kicks, 3 handballs, 3, mark, 2 tackles, 2, goals) - beaten in the ruck by the bigger bodied Meese who had more than 50 hit outs. Fitzpatrick had 26, kicked a couple of goals and missed a couple more chances early in the game. Josh Tynan (2 Kicks, 3 handballs, 1 mark, 2 tackles) - only played in the first half and was quiet. Leigh Williams (8 kicks, 2 handballs, 5 marks, 1 tackle, 3 goals 2 behinds) - did his best work in the second half and did well to finish with three goals. Casey Scorpions 1.3.9 2.4.16 7.7.49 13.10.88 Northern Blues 5.2.32 8.5.53 14.6.90 20.8.128 Goals Casey Scorpions Williams 3 Cook Fitzpatrick Petropoulos 2 Evans Fieldsend Hill Smith Northern Blues Mitchell Thornton 5 Ellard O'Keeffe 3 Dale Marcon Thomas Wilson Best Casey Scorpions Patti Bate Hill Smith Williams McGough Northern Blues Marcon Ellard Meese Lambert Heyne Watson Disposals Bate 25 Pollard 19 Patti 18 Gent 16 Casey jumped North Ballarat in the development league game kicking eight goals to nil with the wind in the opening term and ran out easy winners by 36 points. HOW THE DEMON FARED Jai Sheahan (9 kicks, 3 marks, 1 goal) - has struggled with injury and lost form after a promising first half of the season. Casey Scorpions 8.4.52 10.9.69 14.11.95 17.16.118 North Ballarat 0.1.1 3.4.22 5.8.38 12.10.82 Goals Casey Scorpions Lang 4 Chin Cleven Galvin Lindsay 2 Eddy McInnes Sheahan Thompson Troutman North Ballarat Craig 3 Links Nicholls 2 Brayshaw Hansford Jones Kiel Peel Best Casey Scorpions Cleven Nicholls Roberts Lang Lindsay Troutman North Ballarat Currie Edwards Struth Anderson Nicholls Watson

THE HOWE JONES INDEX by Mean Gene After yet another torrid week in a difficult year for the Melbourne Football Club, the Demons stocks climbed and eventually hit the roof. It started before the game when it was announced that leadership group member Nathan Jones, a certainty to be club champion this year and high flying Jeremy Howe had both signed on for the next three years. Then, when the team ran out onto the ground, the newly signed duo set the example for their team mates and they blew their opponents off the field. In that respect, they had set the Howe Jones Football Index and it was mostly upward and positive after their club had received a whacking in the media, most of it undeserved and some of it based on sheer malevolence from persons with an agenda against the club, its board and its officialdom. In the early moments of the game we saw Howe, who is better known for his hangers, setting the example by shepherding perfectly for a team mate (he would keep the best of his highflying exploits for later in the game). Jones was burrowing into packs and laying tackles with as much, if not more, impact than his more celebrated chrome down counterpart from the opposition. Their example and the effect of their efforts told on the scoreboard as the team snuffed out the young Gold Coast Suns with six unanswered first quarter goals to take an unassailable forty point lead into the first break. It was a smashing of a first quarter and even the unlikely Jake Spencer joined in the festivities with his first ever AFL goal (in his first ever winning match after almost four seasons), albeit after a fifty metre penalty! It's true that, after that first quarter, the plucky Gold Coast Suns with Gary Ablett Junior and Harley Bennell on fire, managed to limit Melbourne's ascendency even as its men were going down like flies, it was still a big win for the home side even if it couldn't shut up the critics in the media who made no concession whatsoever for the depleted nature of a team that went into the weekend with more than a third of its list, 16 players, unavailable. Despite that fact, had they lost this match, it would have been odds on that those baying for blood last week would have been on automatic pilot droning on ad nauseum about the club's culture. Make no mistake about it, this was no classic contest in the mould of Friday night's epic between Geelong and Hawthorn but, for the Melbourne faithful starved of success for so long, it was good to see their team lead from go to whoa for once. Brad Green shrugged off his horror start to the season and demonstrated that he had not lost his ability to snag the goals and Lynden Dunn played a sterling game in defence proving that forwards can move back without raising suspicious eyebrows. Colin Sylvia is also returning to the sort of form expected of him and his strong marking and contribution to the goal tally were welcome after some of his earlier disappointments. The skippers are also raising their own personal bars with every week and I expect that the real benefits of the brave decision to give such young men the responsibility of leadership will bring its own dividends in the years to come. In the end, it was Howe again who soared over a pack and took his latest mark of the day for the highlights reel. The resulting goal saw the Howe Jones Football Index rise another notch. Melbourne 6.6.42 10.7.67 13.8.86 16.12.108 Gold Coast 0.2.2 4.5.29 5.9.39 9.12.66 Goals Melbourne Green 5 Blease Sylvia 2 Bail Howe Rivers Sellar Spencer Tapscott Trengove Gold Coast Bennell 4 Ablett Brennan Lynch Rischitelli Russell Best Melbourne Howe Jones Green Grimes Dunn Sylvia Gold Coast Bennell Ablett Harbrow Swallow Shaw Injuries Melbourne Morton (shoulder) Gold Coast Hunt (shoulder) Prestia (hamstring) Rischitelli (knee) Russell (shoulder) Smith (ankle) Changes Melbourne McKenzie (knee) replaced in selected side by Magner Gold Coast Stanley (shoulder) replaced in selected side by Weller Changes Melbourne Nil Gold Coast Nil Umpires Schmitt B Ryan H Ryan Crowd 18,097 at MCG

Your votes please ... 6,5,4,3,2,1

IRRELEVANT by Clyde The (former) Clifton Hill Cabbie I don't know if anybody out there remembers me. In my time as one of this great city's leading cab drivers I was well known by all and sundry who used my services to convey them around town for my opinions on politics, religion, sport and a variety of other subjects. I always believed I had a deep knowledge and understanding about our nation's number one sport until one day, this young bloke turned his attention away from his iphone, sat up in the back seat of my taxi cab, angrily snubbed his nose up against the perspex window that divided us and told me to STFU. To him, my opinions on the football were "irrelevant". How dare he? I was a keen student of the game and I got a lot of my inside information from listening to talk back radio and reading the sports pages of the little newspaper which was full of stories written by people who had contacts inside the various league clubs. Surely, the sources of my information were impeccable? Later, after thinking about it a little more, I realised that time was indeed passing me by in this new world of digital electronics and whiz bang gadgets. Perhaps, I was becoming irrelevant? I'm in retirement now. I live in this nice nursing home and although I occasionally get to watch a game on TV, I usually manage to fall asleep even before the result's done and dusted (which these days means by half time). I hardly ever get to read the newspapers because the print's too small and the eyesight's failing and most of the people here knit or play lawn bowls so I don't really know much about what's going on in the AFL any more. I suppose that's what makes me feel even less relevant than ever before. However, I always look forward to that once a year day when one of the good people at Demonland visits me and asks me to write a preview of a Melbourne game for the site. This year's visitor was my old friend The Oracle but he delivered what I regarded at first as the supreme insult when he asked if I would write about the Demons' forthcoming encounter with the Gold Coast Suns. I thought for a while and asked, "who in blazes are the Gold Coast Suns?". He replied that they were one of the new franchises that joined the competition last year. "You mean like Hungry Jacks or Dominoes Pizza?" "No, they're an AFL team that plays at Carrara. Gary Ablett Junior's their captain." "Ablett? Well, that's okay then. Brock'll fix him up." Brock was one of my favourites. The Oracle's next revelation hit me right between the eyes. He told of Brock's defection from Melbourne at the end of 2009 because of a problem he had with the club's "experimentation" that went against the grain of everything he'd ever been taught. So he decided to leave and head to a club whose traditions were seeped in integrity and honesty. I was incredulous as The Oracle explained the events of the week in great detail. There was one thing that puzzled me but no sooner had the words leapt out of my mouth that I realised that my question was totally irrelevant. "You would think with three experienced journalists and commentators doing the interview, one of them would have asked him why a man who held such lofty principles could have possibly gone straight to a club whose reputation not only for tanking but for generally rorting the system was legendary?" It was at this point that all those years of spouting conspiracy theories gripped me and in a moment of inspiration, I understood what this was all about and it had very little to do with the practice of tanking. The whole thing was a set up. The puppeteers were pulling the strings to perfection. The kid who not long ago publicly claimed he contracted aids from somebody's mother had left what passed for his brain in the studio's green room. They knew from the start that he would take the bait and it played itself out perfectly for them. The agenda and the people behind it soon became apparent. As I put this proposition to my visitor, I suddenly felt that I was becoming relevant again. He was almost out of the door when I noticed he had left me with several copies of the sporting sections of the week's newspapers to help with the research for my story. All that was left for me to do was to wade through the rubbish and sift through half a dozen beat ups and testimonies from former players and officials and then I could write my match preview. That was the easy part. The clash between 16th and 17th is a game in which every aspect of team selection and every move that the coaches make is likely to come under scrutiny for all the wrong reasons by suspicious journalists and others struggling to make a sensational story out of nothing. But the game itself is totally irrelevant. THE GAME Melbourne v Gold Coast at the MCG Sunday 5 August 2011 at 1.10pm. HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 2 wins Gold Coast 0 wins MCG Melbourne 1 win Gold Coast 0 wins Since 2000 Melbourne 2 wins Gold Coast 0 wins The Coaches Neeld 0 wins McKenna 0 wins MEDIA TV – Fox Footy Channel at 1:00pm (live) Radio –SEN ABC774 THE LAST TIME THEY MET Melbourne 17.10.112 defeated Gold Coast Suns 12.10.82 in round 23, 2011 at the MCG. Oh my god. This was a game so tedious and boring that I was driven to the bar not long after the start of the second quarter. By the time I returned to watch the action fortified by an unknown volume of the amber liquid Melbourne was on its way to a five goal victory. THE BETTING Melbourne $1.57 to win Gold Coast $5.50 to win THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Joel Macdonald James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Jack Grimes James Frawley Colin Garland Centreline Jordie McKenzie Jack Trengove Rohan Bail Half forwards Sam Blease Jared Rivers Lynden Dunn Forwards Jeremy Howe Colin Sylvia Brad Green Followers Jake Spencer Brent Moloney Nathan Jones Interchange Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton James Strauss Luke Tapscott Emergencies Jack Fitzpatrick James Magner Josh Tynan In Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton Luke Tapscott Out Neville Jetta (suspension) Daniel Nicholson (jaw) Stef Martin (foot) GOLD COAST SUNS Backs Taylor Hine Charlie Dixon Trent McKenzie Half backs Daniel Stanley Matthew Warnock Jarrod Harbrow Centreline David Swallow Gary Ablett Michael Rischitelli Half forwards Jared Brennan Tom Lynch Brandon Matera Forwards Luke Russell Sam Day Campbell Brown Followers Zac Smith Karmichael Hunt Harley Bennell Interchange Josh Caddy Liam Patrick Dion Prestia Matt Shaw Emergencies Aaron Hall Steven May Maverick Weller In Sam Day Michael Rischitelli Out Steven May Maverick Weller There must be a clever linguist out there somewhere who is capable of coming up with a word that means the opposite to "blockbuster", because such a word word be perfect to describe this game. Until recently, I would have regarded a Melbourne home game against the Gold Coast Suns as unlosable but I'm not so sure any more. With the club under attack in the media and the tanking debate swirling around it, I'm not all that certain about how the players will react to what I can only consider to be the destabilising atmosphere that has surrounded them throughout the week. After all, it's not often that you have a situation where a former player and former president are out there publicly whacking your club across the head and the media heavies are baying for your blood on a daily basis. It also doesn't help if, on top of these worries, you have a substantial injury list that severely restricts your capacity to pick a team that can win games. On my reckoning, no more than 30 players from the combined Melbourne senior and rookie list of 46 will be in action at the weekend. By way of contrast, North Melbourne will have close to its full list playing in three teams (the Roos are aligned to two VFL clubs and had 12 players representing Werribee alone in the final of the Foxtel Cup on Thursday night). Nevertheless, there are many commentators, either oblivious to thus situation or simply chosing to ignore it, who are maintaining that the Demons will come under more tanking scrutiny if they lose this match. Go figure? Being from the old school, I like to analyse games line by line and, pardon the pun, but I've come up with a result that is going to be very much a line ball. A great deal has been made of Melbourne's much maligned midfield but paradoxically, this is likely to be where the Dees can draw great strength. They might not have the sheer brilliance of Gary Ablett Junior or the youth, pace and ability to spread of their Gold Coast counterparts but they do have size, strength, experience and home ground advantage going for them. Nathan Jones has been a revelation all year and should not be underrated even in the company of the AFL's best player. He proved that last week with his 32 disposals 10 clearances playing to a losing ruck. His partner in crime, Brent Moloney was not far behind him in the disposal count with 29 on return from a brief stint in the VFL. Let there be no doubt, Beamer is playing for his football life along with one or two others like Cale Morton and Jordan Gysberts who are back in the side this week. Jordie McKenzie will probably have the toughest task of the lot after a down week against the Roos but he's taken some scalps this year and, as a kid from down Geelong way, he should rise to the challenge of taking on the former local hero. So this game might well be the antithesis of a blockbuster but I think it will be close and that the Demons will rise to the occasion, put their critics in their rightful place and make themselves relevant once again. Melbourne by 2 points.

IRRELEVANT by Clyde The (former) Clifton Hill Cabbie I don't know if anybody out there remembers me. In my time as one of this great city's leading cab drivers I was well known by all and sundry who used my services to convey them around town for my opinions on politics, religion, sport and a variety of other subjects. I always believed I had a deep knowledge and understanding about our nation's number one sport until one day, this young bloke turned his attention away from his iphone, sat up in the back seat of my taxi cab, angrily snubbed his nose up against the perspex window that divided us and told me to STFU. To him, my opinions on the football were "irrelevant". How dare he? I was a keen student of the game and I got a lot of my inside information from listening to talk back radio and reading the sports pages of the little newspaper which was full of stories written by people who had contacts inside the various league clubs. Surely, the sources of my information were impeccable? Later, after thinking about it a little more, I realised that time was indeed passing me by in this new world of digital electronics and whiz bang gadgets. Perhaps, I was becoming irrelevant? I'm in retirement now. I live in this nice nursing home and although I occasionally get to watch a game on TV, I usually manage to fall asleep even before the result's done and dusted (which these days means by half time). I hardly ever get to read the newspapers because the print's too small and the eyesight's failing and most of the people here knit or play lawn bowls so I don't really know much about what's going on in the AFL any more. I suppose that's what makes me feel even less relevant than ever before. However, I always look forward to that once a year day when one of the good people at Demonland visits me and asks me to write a preview of a Melbourne game for the site. This year's visitor was my old friend The Oracle but he delivered what I regarded at first as the supreme insult when he asked if I would write about the Demons' forthcoming encounter with the Gold Coast Suns. I thought for a while and asked, "who in blazes are the Gold Coast Suns?". He replied that they were one of the new franchises that joined the competition last year. "You mean like Hungry Jacks or Dominoes Pizza?" "No, they're an AFL team that plays at Carrara. Gary Ablett Junior's their captain." "Ablett? Well, that's okay then. Brock'll fix him up." Brock was one of my favourites. The Oracle's next revelation hit me right between the eyes. He told of Brock's defection from Melbourne at the end of 2009 because of a problem he had with the club's "experimentation" that went against the grain of everything he'd ever been taught. So he decided to leave and head to a club whose traditions were seeped in integrity and honesty. I was incredulous as The Oracle explained the events of the week in great detail. There was one thing that puzzled me but no sooner had the words leapt out of my mouth that I realised that my question was totally irrelevant. "You would think with three experienced journalists and commentators doing the interview, one of them would have asked him why a man who held such lofty principles could have possibly gone straight to a club whose reputation not only for tanking but for generally rorting the system was legendary?" It was at this point that all those years of spouting conspiracy theories gripped me and in a moment of inspiration, I understood what this was all about and it had very little to do with the practice of tanking. The whole thing was a set up. The puppeteers were pulling the strings to perfection. The kid who not long ago publicly claimed he contracted aids from somebody's mother had left what passed for his brain in the studio's green room. They knew from the start that he would take the bait and it played itself out perfectly for them. The agenda and the people behind it soon became apparent. As I put this proposition to my visitor, I suddenly felt that I was becoming relevant again. He was almost out of the door when I noticed he had left me with several copies of the sporting sections of the week's newspapers to help with the research for my story. All that was left for me to do was to wade through the rubbish and sift through half a dozen beat ups and testimonies from former players and officials and then I could write my match preview. That was the easy part. The clash between 16th and 17th is a game in which every aspect of team selection and every move that the coaches make is likely to come under scrutiny for all the wrong reasons by suspicious journalists and others struggling to make a sensational story out of nothing. But the game itself is totally irrelevant. THE GAME Melbourne v Gold Coast at the MCG Sunday 5 August 2011 at 1.10pm. HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 2 wins Gold Coast 0 wins MCG Melbourne 1 win Gold Coast 0 wins Since 2000 Melbourne 2 wins Gold Coast 0 wins The Coaches Neeld 0 wins McKenna 0 wins MEDIA TV – Fox Footy Channel at 1:00pm (live) Radio –SEN ABC774 THE LAST TIME THEY MET Melbourne 17.10.112 defeated Gold Coast Suns 12.10.82 in round 23, 2011 at the MCG. Oh my god. This was a game so tedious and boring that I was driven to the bar not long after the start of the second quarter. By the time I returned to watch the action fortified by an unknown volume of the amber liquid Melbourne was on its way to a five goal victory. THE BETTING Melbourne $1.33 to win Gold Coast $3.40 to win THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Joel Macdonald James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Jack Grimes James Frawley Colin Garland Centreline Jordie McKenzie Jack Trengove Rohan Bail Half forwards Sam Blease Jared Rivers Lynden Dunn Forwards Jeremy Howe Colin Sylvia Brad Green Followers Jake Spencer Brent Moloney Nathan Jones Interchange Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton James Strauss Luke Tapscott Emergencies Jack Fitzpatrick James Magner Josh Tynan In Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton Luke Tapscott Out Neville Jetta (suspension) Daniel Nicholson (jaw) Stef Martin (foot) GOLD COAST SUNS Backs Taylor Hine Charlie Dixon Trent McKenzie Half backs Daniel Stanley Matthew Warnock Jarrod Harbrow Centreline David Swallow Gary Ablett Michael Rischitelli Half forwards Jared Brennan Tom Lynch Brandon Matera Forwards Luke Russell Sam Day Campbell Brown Followers Zac Smith Karmichael Hunt Harley Bennell Interchange Josh Caddy Liam Patrick Dion Prestia Matt Shaw Emergencies Aaron Hall Steven May Maverick Weller In Sam Day Michael Rischitelli Out Steven May Maverick Weller There must be a clever linguist out there somewhere who is capable of coming up with a word that means the opposite to "blockbuster", because such a word word be perfect to describe this game. Until recently, I would have regarded a Melbourne home game against the Gold Coast Suns as unlosable but I'm not so sure any more. With the club under attack in the media and the tanking debate swirling around it, I'm not all that certain about how the players will react to what I can only consider to be the destabilising atmosphere that has surrounded them throughout the week. After all, it's not often that you have a situation where a former player and former president are out there publicly whacking your club across the head and the media heavies are baying for your blood on a daily basis. It also doesn't help if, on top of these worries, you have a substantial injury list that severely restricts your capacity to pick a team that can win games. On my reckoning, no more than 30 players from the combined Melbourne senior and rookie list of 46 will be in action at the weekend. By way of contrast, North Melbourne will have close to its full list playing in three teams (the Roos are aligned to two VFL clubs and had 12 players representing Werribee alone in the final of the Foxtel Cup on Thursday night). Nevertheless, there are many commentators, either oblivious to thus situation or simply chosing to ignore it, who are maintaining that the Demons will come under more tanking scrutiny if they lose this match. Go figure? Being from the old school, I like to analyse games line by line and, pardon the pun, but I've come up with a result that is going to be very much a line ball. A great deal has been made of Melbourne's much maligned midfield but paradoxically, this is likely to be where the Dees can draw great strength. They might not have the sheer brilliance of Gary Ablett Junior or the youth, pace and ability to spread of their Gold Coast counterparts but they do have size, strength, experience and home ground advantage going for them. Nathan Jones has been a revelation all year and should not be underrated even in the company of the AFL's best player. He proved that last week with his 32 disposals 10 clearances playing to a losing ruck. His partner in crime, Brent Moloney was not far behind him in the disposal count with 29 on return from a brief stint in the VFL. Let there be no doubt, Beamer is playing for his football life along with one or two others like Cale Morton and Jordan Gysberts who are back in the side this week. Jordie McKenzie will probably have the toughest task of the lot after a down week against the Roos but he's taken some scalps this year and, as a kid from down Geelong way, he should rise to the challenge of taking on the former local hero. So this game might well be the antithesis of a blockbuster but I think it will be close and that the Demons will rise to the occasion, put their critics in their rightful place and make themselves relevant once again. Melbourne by 2 points.

It was Todd Viney's only win as an AFL coach. Liam Jurrah broke his wrist late in the game. It was pretty forgettable stuff. MELBOURNE Backs Colin Garland James Frawley Clint Bartram Half backs Luke Tapscott Jared Rivers Tom McDonald Centreline Sam Blease Brent Moloney Jack Trengove Half forwards Tom Scully Stef Martin Brad Green Forwards Liam Jurrah Jack Watts Jamie Bennell Followers Mark Jamar Neville Jetta Nathan Jones Interchange Jeremy Howe Jordie McKenzieTom McNamara Cale Morton Emergencies Jack Fitzpatrick Joel Macdonald Daniel Nicholson In Neville Jetta Tom McDonald Tom McNamara LukeTapscott Out Aaron Davey (suspended) Joel Macdonald Ricky Petterd (quadriceps) Colin Sylvia (suspended) New Tom McDonald (North Ballarat Rebels) GOLD COAST SUNS Backs Seb Tape Rory Thompson Karmichael Hunt Half backs Nathan Bock Jared Brennan Jarrod Harbrow Centreline Matt Shaw David Swallow Dion Prestia Half forwards Luke Russell Trent McKenzie Daniel Stanley Forwards Tom Hickey Nathan Ablett Brandon Matera Followers Zac Smith Gary Ablett Michael Rischitelli Interchange (from) Harley Bennell Josh Caddy Jacob Gillbee Jack Hutchins Sam Iles Josh Toy Maverick Weller Interchange Harley Bennell Josh Caddy Sam Iles Maverick Weller Emergencies Jacob Gillbee Jack Hutchins Josh Toy In Josh Caddy Sam Iles Brandon Matera Zac Smith Out Joseph Daye Josh Fraser (illness) Steven May Joel Tippett New Josh Caddy (Sandringham Dragons)

CASEY WINS BATTLE BY THE BAY by KC from Casey Spectators attending any clash between local rivals Casey Scorpions and Frankston can always count on an afternoon of tough, tightly contested football irrespective of the teams' ladder positions and Saturday's game at Kars Street by the bay was no exception. Although the visitors finished the game in front by six goals at the final siren, the stand alone Dolphins belied their lowly ladder standing with their enthusiasm and persistent attack on the football but they simply lacked the necessary big man strength and the midfield class necessary to maintain scoreboard pressure on their opponents. Frankston opened the game full of running in a ferocious start and went coast to coast to set up the first goal before the Scorpions settled down and briefly took control with goals to Leigh Williams, Lucas Cook (from a lucky free) and Tom Couch. The Dolphins worked their way back into the game making the most of some wasteful kicking for goal by Casey with a late burst of goals that saw them in front by two points at the first break. The Scorpions retook the initiative with an early goal from Ricky Petterd and another from Jack Fitzpatrick with a shot from near the boundary and, with Luke Tynan and Evan Panozza getting on top in defence, it was only some wayward kicking for goal that limited Casey's lead to just 13 points at half time. Coach Brett Lovett would not have been pleased with his team's wasted opportunities in the opening half but their efforts in the premiership quarter were outstanding. They wasted little time with an early goal to the lively Rian McGough followed by another after Tim Smith took one of his trademark screamers and the lead was soon up to over 30 points as the Scorps began to assert their stamp on the game. Fitzpatrick was dominating the rucks on his way to a 46 hit out game while Couch was well on top in the middle. He was to finish with 32 touches for the game. Other prolific ball winners were Cale Morton (29) and Jordan Gysberts (27) who displayed plenty of class after both started slowly and young Chris Clay who had a breakout game with 26 possessions, one more than Jordan Pollard and Tynan. By the final break, Casey had opened up a 37 point lead to ensure that for once their game would not end in a nail biting finish. However, the Dolphins were not to be denied and refused to give an inch as they worked hard to apply pressure to the Scorpions who were on the way to ladder leadership courtesy of a Seagull victory over the Borough at Williamstown. Frankston went goal for goal with Casey and narrowly won the final quarter by a point with some dogged and determined football. From the visitors' point of view it was satisfying to have secured the double chance with a top four finish all but assured but they will not be able to relax. Their clash next Saturday with the lowly Northern Blues is likely to prove an added challenge with the Blues' recent improved form and a thumping 99 point win over the Coburg Tigers. 2012 Peter Jackson VFL Casey Scorpions 3.6.24 6.11.47 11.13.79 15.15.105 Frankston 4.2.26 5. 4.34 6.6.42 10.9.69 Goals Casey Scorpions Couch Gysberts Morton Williams 2 Clay Cook Fitzpatrick McGough Petterd Smith Thompson Frankston Simpson Thoolen 3 Clark Martin Marusic Potts Best Casey Scorpions L Tynan Gysberts Morton Couch McGough Frankston Potts Delahunty Thoolen Simpson Van Unen Boland This week it was the turn of Casey's development league to provide a heart thumping finish. After trailing for most of the day, the team overcame a 20 point deficit at three quarter time to win the curtain raiser in controversial circumstances with a goal scored from a free kick after the siren by Michael Johnson from outside 50 metres. 2012 AFL Vic Development League Casey Scorpions 0.1.1 1.3.9 4.6.30 8.11.59 Frankston 1.5.11 3.8.26 6.14.50 7.16.58 Goals Casey Scorpions Petropoulos 3 Galvin Johnson Lindsay Rosier Sheahan Frankston Appleford 3 Bywater Clements Greeley Johnston Best Casey Scorpions Petropoulos Collins Corry Fieldsend Allen Lindsay Frankston Jennings Clements Appleford Viney Johnston Ongarello

CASEY WINS BATTLE BY THE BAY by KC from Casey Spectators attending any clash between local rivals Casey Scorpions and Frankston can always count on an afternoon of tough, tightly contested football irrespective of the teams' ladder positions and Saturday's game at Kars Street by the bay was no exception. Although the visitors finished the game in front by six goals at the final siren, the stand alone Dolphins belied their lowly ladder standing with their enthusiasm and persistent attack on the football but they simply lacked the necessary big man strength and the midfield class necessary to maintain scoreboard pressure on their opponents. Frankston opened the game full of running in a ferocious start and went coast to coast to set up the first goal before the Scorpions settled down and briefly took control with goals to Leigh Williams, Lucas Cook (from a lucky free) and Tom Couch. The Dolphins worked their way back into the game making the most of some wasteful kicking for goal by Casey with a late burst of goals that saw them in front by two points at the first break. The Scorpions retook the initiative with an early goal from Ricky Petterd and another from Jack Fitzpatrick with a shot from near the boundary and, with Luke Tynan and Evan Panozza getting on top in defence, it was only some wayward kicking for goal that limited Casey's lead to just 13 points at half time. Coach Brett Lovett would not have been pleased with his team's wasted opportunities in the opening half but their efforts in the premiership quarter were outstanding. They wasted little time with an early goal to the lively Rian McGough followed by another after Tim Smith took one of his trademark screamers and the lead was soon up to over 30 points as the Scorps began to assert their stamp on the game. Fitzpatrick was dominating the rucks on his way to a 46 hit out game while Couch was well on top in the middle. He was to finish with 32 touches for the game. Other prolific ball winners were Cale Morton (29) and Jordan Gysberts (27) who displayed plenty of class after both started slowly and young Chris Clay who had a breakout game with 26 possessions, one more than Jordan Pollard and Tynan. By the final break, Casey had opened up a 37 point lead to ensure that for once their game would not end in a nail biting finish. However, the Dolphins were not to be denied and refused to give an inch as they worked hard to apply pressure to the Scorpions who were on the way to ladder leadership courtesy of a Seagull victory over the Borough at Williamstown. Frankston went goal for goal with Casey and narrowly won the final quarter by a point with some dogged and determined football. From the visitors' point of view it was satisfying to have secured the double chance with a top four finish all but assured but they will not be able to relax. Their clash next Saturday with the lowly Northern Blues is likely to prove an added challenge with the Blues' recent improved form and a thumping 99 point win over the Coburg Tigers. 2012 Peter Jackson VFL Casey Scorpions 3.6.24 6.11.47 11.13.79 15.15.105 Frankston 4.2.26 5. 4.34 6.6.42 10.9.69 Goals Casey Scorpions Couch Gysberts Morton Williams 2 Clay Cook Fitzpatrick McGough Petterd Smith Thompson Frankston Simpson Thoolen 3 Clark Martin Marusic Potts Best Casey Scorpions L Tynan Gysberts Morton Couch McGough Frankston Potts Delahunty Thoolen Simpson Van Unen Boland This week it was the turn of Casey's development league to provide a heart thumping finish. After trailing for most of the day, the team overcame a 20 point deficit at three quarter time to win the curtain raiser in controversial circumstances with a goal scored from a free kick after the siren by Michael Johnson from outside 50 metres. 2012 AFL Vic Development League Casey Scorpions 0.1.1 1.3.9 4.6.30 8.11.59 Frankston 1.5.11 3.8.26 6.14.50 7.16.58 Goals Casey Scorpions Petropoulos 3 Galvin Johnson Lindsay Rosier Sheahan Frankston Appleford 3 Bywater Clements Greeley Johnston Best Casey Scorpions Petropoulos Collins Corry Fieldsend Allen Lindsay Frankston Jennings Clements Appleford Viney Johnston Ongarello

Look again. There was a Viney mentioned but he plays for Frankston and is probably no relation.

... and so ... with five games left to go I declare Nathan Jones the winner of the Demonland Player of the Year for 2012. 184 Nathan Jones 81 Mitch Clark 78 Jared Rivers 75 Jack Watts 64 Jeremy Howe 62 James Magner 58 Jack Grimes 54 Tom McDonald 50 Jordie McKenzie 45 James Frawley 34 Colin Sylvia 31 Stef Martin 29 Dan Nicholson 28 Sam Blease 26 Matthew Bate 25 Jack Trengove 20 Colin Garland 19 Cale Morton 17 Brad Green 15 Clint Bartram Joel Macdonald 14 Rohan Bail 8 James Sellar 7 Lynden Dunn Neville Jetta 3 Brent Moloney Jake Spencer 1 Aaron Davey Luke Tapscott

THE DRIVE-BY SHOOTING by Whispering Jack According to the script, Melbourne's season is over. In fact, it was over several months ago when the script was first written. The story of the Demons' game against the Kangaroos at Etihad Stadium is one that could have been written several times over during season 2012. The team, severely depleted of talent and well behind the necessary standards of fitness and skills ran out and was ambushed by a far superior and more strongly focussed opposition. It was over before they even saw it coming. In the absence of Melbourne's All Australian ruckman Mark Jamar, Todd Goldstein dominated from the outset to give his midfielders an armchair ride - as if they needed such an advantage against a far inferior on ball division. Ryan Bastinac had North's first goal on the board just one minute and thirty seconds into the game. By the fifteen minute mark they had four goals and change to nil. Colin Garland had the Demons' first score on the board nearly four minutes later - a point kicked under pressure. Drew Petrie's first and North's fifth came just after the 20 minute mark and Melbourne had yet to score a major. The game was almost over but there was still time for the Demons to scrap their way to respectability, which they did for a while. Sam Blease soon kicked his team's first and midfielders Nathan Jones and Brent Moloney led the fightback by working their butts off. The deficit at half time was 25 points and Melbourne had even won the second quarter (by a solitary point)! The third quarter was a repeat of the first although it took only 14 seconds for Adams to mop up from a spill and nail the first of five Kangaroo goals in a little over the first ten minutes of the second half. By that time, the Demons were done - victims of a drive-by shooting. We did get to see Brad Green kick three goals and to demonstrate some of the brilliance that had him held in such esteem over a stellar career of 13 seasons and 250 games. But junk time came early and North cruised its way to a 54-point win - it's tenth in a row over a Melbourne that simply had insufficient strength and run among its personnel, depleted by a long injury list particularly when compared with the hosts whose only player missing through injury has yet to make his AFL debut and is well outside its best 22. It has been reported that Demon coach Mark Neeld said in the lead-up to this clash he felt the his team was "two years behind several of their rivals". That's a fair assessment and reflects on his team's current list which can be addressed by recruiting at the end of the year, by improvement during the off season and by a regeneration and return to health of many of its injured players. The significance of Neeld's comment is underlined by the debate raging at more than one other club about what is necessary to improve a team's fitness and conditioning. We knew from the beginning, several months ago, that it was not possible to fast track the process whereby the fitness levels of Melbourne's list could reach the levels of the better sides in a short space of time. It's a process that will take at least two or three pre seasons of hard work and in the meantime, ambushes of the sort we have been witnessing this year will come back again and again. Only when the team's fitness levels are at their optimum can we expect all players to display better skills and decision making. Only then will they be able to regularly get to the ball first, break through tackles and do all of the things that come naturally to all good teams. In the meantime, the game is over and the season is over. Melbourne 1.2.8 5.5.35 7.5.47 11.7.73 North Melbourne 5.4.34 9.6.60 15.10.100 19.13.127 Goals Melbourne Green Sylvia 3 Blease Garland Howe Jones Martin North Melbourne Petrie Tarrant 4 Adams Harvey Thomas 2 Anthony Bastinac Harper Macmillan Swallow Best Melbourne Jones Green Moloney Frawley Howe Macdonald North Melbourne Harvey Gibson Wells Cunnington Swallow Goldstein Injuries Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Adams (shoulder) McMahon (groin) Changes Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Nil Reports Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Nil Umpires McBurney Armstrong Harris Official crowd 20,816 at Etihad Stadium

THE DRIVE-BY SHOOTING by Whispering Jack According to the script, Melbourne's season is over. In fact, it was over several months ago when the script was first written. The story of the Demons' game against the Kangaroos at Etihad Stadium is one that could have been written several times over during season 2012. The team, severely depleted of talent and well behind the necessary standards of fitness and skills ran out and was ambushed by a far superior and more strongly focussed opposition. It was over before they even saw it coming. In the absence of Melbourne's All Australian ruckman Mark Jamar, Todd Goldstein dominated from the outset to give his midfielders an armchair ride - as if they needed such an advantage against a far inferior on ball division. Ryan Bastinac had North's first goal on the board just one minute and thirty seconds into the game. By the fifteen minute mark they had four goals and change to nil. Colin Garland had the Demons' first score on the board nearly four minutes later - a point kicked under pressure. Drew Petrie's first and North's fifth came just after the 20 minute mark and Melbourne had yet to score a major. The game was almost over but there was still time for the Demons to scrap their way to respectability, which they did for a while. Sam Blease soon kicked his team's first and midfielders Nathan Jones and Brent Moloney led the fightback by working their butts off. The deficit at half time was 25 points and Melbourne had even won the second quarter (by a solitary point)! The third quarter was a repeat of the first although it took only 14 seconds for Adams to mop up from a spill and nail the first of five Kangaroo goals in a little over the first ten minutes of the second half. By that time, the Demons were done - victims of a drive-by shooting. We did get to see Brad Green kick three goals and to demonstrate some of the brilliance that had him held in such esteem over a stellar career of 13 seasons and 250 games. But junk time came early and North cruised its way to a 54-point win - it's tenth in a row over a Melbourne that simply had insufficient strength and run among its personnel, depleted by a long injury list particularly when compared with the hosts whose only player missing through injury has yet to make his AFL debut and is well outside its best 22. It has been reported that Demon coach Mark Neeld said in the lead-up to this clash he felt the his team was "two years behind several of their rivals". That's a fair assessment and reflects on his team's current list which can be addressed by recruiting at the end of the year, by improvement during the off season and by a regeneration and return to health of many of its injured players. The significance of Neeld's comment is underlined by the debate raging at more than one other club about what is necessary to improve a team's fitness and conditioning. We knew from the beginning, several months ago, that it was not possible to fast track the process whereby the fitness levels of Melbourne's list could reach the levels of the better sides in a short space of time. It's a process that will take at least two or three pre seasons of hard work and in the meantime, ambushes of the sort we have been witnessing this year will come back again and again. Only when the team's fitness levels are at their optimum can we expect all players to display better skills and decision making. Only then will they be able to regularly get to the ball first, break through tackles and do all of the things that come naturally to all good teams. In the meantime, the game is over and the season is over. Melbourne 1.2.8 5.5.35 7.5.47 11.7.73 North Melbourne 5.4.34 9.6.60 15.10.100 19.13.127 Goals Melbourne Green Sylvia 3 Blease Garland Howe Jones Martin North Melbourne Petrie Tarrant 4 Adams Harvey Thomas 2 Anthony Bastinac Harper Macmillan Swallow Best Melbourne Jones Green Moloney Frawley Howe Macdonald North Melbourne Harvey Gibson Wells Cunnington Swallow Goldstein Injuries Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Adams (shoulder) McMahon (groin) Changes Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Nil Reports Melbourne Nil North Melbourne Nil Umpires McBurney Armstrong Harris Official crowd 20,816 at Etihad Stadium

Let the voting begin ... Gold Silver Bronze 3 2 1

THE WOOD by The Oracle There's a term in sport that applies when one participant always seems to come out on top of another. It's called "having the wood on your opponent" and I can add without fear or trepidation that the saying definitely applies to North Melbourne's recent record against Melbourne. On Saturday afternoon the Kangaroos will be aiming to make it ten wins in a row against the Demons. They will be assisted by the fact that the game is being held on their home territory at Etihad Stadium where they hold a winning record of 5-0 at a place where Melbourne has lost its last thirteen encounters against all comers. On that basis, you would have to say that they not only have the wood on their opponents but they have the entire bloody forest over them! When Melbourne last won a contest between these clubs (in 2006), David Neitz was still at his peak and the big feller monstered the Kangaroo defence. Nathan Jones' career was in its infancy and Neale Daniher was still safely ensconced in the coach's chair with his side on its way to taking the mantle of the AFL's leading Victorian club (that was the year when the semi finals were contested by four non Victorians). But it's not only a poor record in its recent games against this week's opponent that's dogging the Demons - it's also the current form of the respective clubs that is in steep contrast. Since North Melbourne's big defeat at the hands of Hawthorn early last month, the club has undergone a massive revival in its form with a narrow loss to the West Coast Eagles the only blemish. This has lifted the club from a position of crisis with the president under attack, the CEO handing in his resignation and rumblings of a major power struggle to a situation where the team now sits in the top eight and is looking forward to September. Meanwhile, September is the only thing Melbourne is looking forward to as well but only to the sound of the final siren at Paterson's Stadium on the first or second day of the month to sound the end of yet another season of disasters, distractions and injuries. For most involved with the club, that sound simply cannot come soon enough. The main distraction for the club this week has been the committal hearing in Alice Springs for Liam Jurrah. I can't comment on the outcome but for heaven's sake, on what I've read of the evidence given by the few prosecution witnesses who bothered to turn up, the mind boggles. The law is an ass and even our legal system is conspiring against our club in this rubbish season. Little wonder that we want it to end so soon. Another major contrast between the two protagonists this week is their injury lists. With Hamish McIntosh on the road to recovery (McIntosh to make VFL comeback for 'Roos) and likely to play in the VFL and two others big chances of passing their respective fitness tests, the Kangaroos' only missing player will be first year player Tom Curran. On the other hand, the Demon’s have failed their health check very badly in recent times. Clint Bartram (knee), Jamie Bennell (knee), Mitch Clark (foot), Aaron Davey (foot) and Max Gawn (knee) are all out for the season while youngster Rory Taggert (back) is out indefinitely. Jurrah injured his ankle eleven weeks ago and is still supposed to be two weeks away from playing. On top of that a number of players including Jack Watts and Jordie McKenzie face fitness tests and then we have the mystery injury of the week factor which regularly sees players missing games after not even appearing on the club’s official injury lists. As the health check article states, “n October 2011, Melbourne could not have imagined it would have virtually no Jurrah, little Davey and no Sylvia early. When it lost its shining light, new recruit Clark after round 12, the disastrous picture was complete.” That’s where we stand at the moment with Brad Scott and his twenty-two merry men holding a very large block of wood over Mark Neeld’s head as he and his medical team work furiously to heal the wounded. THE GAME North Melbourne v Melbourne on Saturday 28th July 2012 at Etihad Stadium at 2.10 pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall North Melbourne 68 wins Melbourne 83 wins 1 draw At Etihad Stadium North Melbourne 5 wins Melbourne 0 wins Since 2000 North Melbourne 12 wins Melbourne 7 wins The Coaches Scott 0 wins Neeld 0 wins MEDIA TV - Fox Sports Channel at 2:00pm (live) RADIO - SEN 3AW THE BETTING North Melbourne to win $1.09 Melbourne to win $7.50 LAST TIME THEY MET North Melbourne 19.10.124 defeated Melbourne 12.11.83 at Etihad Stadium in Round 8, 2012 The Demons were coming off a massive win at the G against Adelaide and started like a house on fire scoring six of the first goals to lead by 31 points in time on of the first term. Then, as often happened with this team, the wheels inexplicably fell off. Every possible calamity befell the team from injuries, loose play, poor execution of skills, bad bounces and even worse umpiring decisions including a "dive" that was paid to Brent Harvey that would have done Greg Louganis proud at the 84 Summer Olympics. MILESTONE Congratulations to Brad Green who plays his 250th game. The 2010 best and fairest and former skipper will join David Neitz (306 matches), Robert Flower (272), Adem Yze (271), Jim Stynes (264), Steven Febey (258), Brian Dixon (252) and James McDonald (251) as the only other Demons to play 250 games. THE TEAMS NORTH MELBOURNE Backs Scott McMahon Scott Thompson Michael Firrito Half backs Shaun Atley Nathan Grima Jamie Macmillan Centreline Ryan Bastinac Daniel Wells Ben Cunnington Half forwards Leigh Adams Robert Tarrant Samuel Wright Forwards Lachlan Hansen Drew Petrie Lindsay Thomas Followers Todd Goldstein Andrew Swallow Brent Harvey Interchange Liam Anthony Matt Campbell Sam Gibson Kieran Harper Emergencies Cruize Garlett Aaron Mullett Cameron Richardson No change MELBOURNE Backs Daniel Nicholson James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Joel Macdonald James Frawley Colin Garland Centreline Rohan Bail Jack Grimes Jack Trengove Half forwards Colin Sylvia Stef Martin Lynden Dunn Forwards Neville Jetta Jared Rivers Brad Green Followers Jake Spencer Jordie McKenzie Nathan Jones Interchange Sam Blease Jeremy Howe Brent Moloney James Strauss Emergencies Matthew Bate Jordan Gysberts James Magner In Jordie McKenzie Brent Moloney James Sellar Out Tom Couch James Magner Ricky Petterd THE DECK CHAIRS One thing that puzzles me about Melbourne's team selection as the club meanders its way to a shameful end to an awful season is the reluctance of selectors to go all out with youth. The catch cry in football when all is lost and the season is prematurely over is usually one of "going for youth". Alternatively, you go for youth when your list is decimated by injury or suspension as was the case last week when Carlton selected three first gamers to play the Western Bulldogs. From all reports the trio, two of them plucked out of the Northern Blues reserves from a week earlier, all acquitted themselves well in Carlton's win. Melbourne, on the other hand, with an injury list that matches Carlton's appears reluctant to make bold selection moves and instead, has decided this week to move the deck chairs around. The result is that, apart from the compulsory return of Jordie McKenzie, two players in Brent Moloney and James Sellar (both available for selection last week) come into the side. I have nothing against either player but, given that Casey had a bye last week and neither of them played anywhere, what did they do to justify inclusion this week but not last? It makes no sense unless you're determined to simply move the deckchairs around and go through the motions. The problem is that in this game we have one team, sick, unhealthy, out of form and rudderless, going through the motions waiting for the season to end and another determined to cement its place in the real September action. The Roos need to win games and bolster their percentage and this hardly bodes well for the Demons. North Melbourne is in a position where a number of its stars are shining at the moment. Todd Goldstein should dominate the big men duels in the absence of Mark Jamar in the opposing ruck. I doubt that his replacement, Jake Spencer will have happy memories of a previous encounter with North at Etihad when he produced what looked like an air shot at goal that dribbled desultorily off the side and bottom of his boot. The Kangaroos have key forward Drew Petrie in career-best goal kicking form with seven in each of their past two games against Carlton and Richmond. He'll be a handfull for the Demon defenders, one of who will be grateful that the coach persists in experimenting with the idea of playing a backman up forward. Then there are Daniel Wells. Andrew Swallow and evergreen Brent Harvey who will run and spread all day creating havoc among Melbourne's pedestrian midfield. The end result will not look pretty as the Kangaroos take full advantage of that enormous piece of wood they have over the Demons. North Melbourne by 75 points.

THE WOOD by The Oracle There's a term in sport that applies when one participant always seems to come out on top of another. It's called "having the wood on your opponent" and I can add without fear or trepidation that the saying definitely applies to North Melbourne's recent record against Melbourne. On Saturday afternoon the Kangaroos will be aiming to make it ten wins in a row against the Demons. They will be assisted by the fact that the game is being held on their home territory at Etihad Stadium where they hold a winning record of 5-0 at a place where Melbourne has lost its last thirteen encounters against all comers. On that basis, you would have to say that they not only have the wood on their opponents but they have the entire bloody forest over them! When Melbourne last won a contest between these clubs (in 2006), David Neitz was still at his peak and the big feller monstered the Kangaroo defence. Nathan Jones' career was in its infancy and Neale Daniher was still safely ensconced in the coach's chair with his side on its way to taking the mantle of the AFL's leading Victorian club (that was the year when the semi finals were contested by four non Victorians). But it's not only a poor record in its recent games against this week's opponent that's dogging the Demons - it's also the current form of the respective clubs that is in steep contrast. Since North Melbourne's big defeat at the hands of Hawthorn early last month, the club has undergone a massive revival in its form with a narrow loss to the West Coast Eagles the only blemish. This has lifted the club from a position of crisis with the president under attack, the CEO handing in his resignation and rumblings of a major power struggle to a situation where the team now sits in the top eight and is looking forward to September. Meanwhile, September is the only thing Melbourne is looking forward to as well but only to the sound of the final siren at Paterson's Stadium on the first or second day of the month to sound the end of yet another season of disasters, distractions and injuries. For most involved with the club, that sound simply cannot come soon enough. The main distraction for the club this week has been the committal hearing in Alice Springs for Liam Jurrah. I can't comment on the outcome but for heaven's sake, on what I've read of the evidence given by the few prosecution witnesses who bothered to turn up, the mind boggles. The law is an ass and even our legal system is conspiring against our club in this rubbish season. Little wonder that we want it to end so soon. Another major contrast between the two protagonists this week is their injury lists. With Hamish McIntosh on the road to recovery (McIntosh to make VFL comeback for 'Roos) and likely to play in the VFL and two others big chances of passing their respective fitness tests, the Kangaroos' only missing player will be first year player Tom Curran. On the other hand, the Demon's have failed their health check very badly in recent times. Clint Bartram (knee), Jamie Bennell (knee), Mitch Clark (foot), Aaron Davey (foot) and Max Gawn (knee) are all out for the season while youngster Rory Taggert (back) is out indefinitely. Jurrah injured his ankle eleven weeks ago and is still supposed to be two weeks away from playing. On top of that a number of players including Jack Watts and Jordie McKenzie face fitness tests and then we have the mystery injury of the week factor which regularly sees players missing games after not even appearing on the club's official injury lists. As the health check article states, "n October 2011, Melbourne could not have imagined it would have virtually no Jurrah, little Davey and no Sylvia early. When it lost its shining light, new recruit Clark after round 12, the disastrous picture was complete." That's where we stand at the moment with Brad Scott and his twenty-two merry men holding a very large block of wood over Mark Neeld's head as he and his medical team work furiously to heal the wounded. THE GAME North Melbourne v Melbourne on Saturday 28th July 2012 at Etihad Stadium at 2.10 pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall North Melbourne 68 wins Melbourne 83 wins 1 draw At Etihad Stadium North Melbourne 5 wins Melbourne 0 wins Since 2000 North Melbourne 12 wins Melbourne 7 wins The Coaches Scott 0 wins Neeld 0 wins MEDIA TV - Fox Sports Channel at 2:00pm (live) RADIO - SEN 3AW THE BETTING North Melbourne to win $1.09 Melbourne to win $7.50 LAST TIME THEY MET North Melbourne 19.10.124 defeated Melbourne 12.11.83 at Etihad Stadium in Round 8, 2012 The Demons were coming off a massive win at the G against Adelaide and started like a house on fire scoring six of the first goals to lead by 31 points in time on of the first term. Then, as often happened with this team, the wheels inexplicably fell off. Every possible calamity befell the team from injuries, loose play, poor execution of skills, bad bounces and even worse umpiring decisions including a "dive" that was paid to Brent Harvey that would have done Greg Louganis proud at the 84 Summer Olympics. MILESTONE Congratulations to Brad Green who plays his 250th game. The 2010 best and fairest and former skipper will join David Neitz (306 matches), Robert Flower (272), Adem Yze (271), Jim Stynes (264), Steven Febey (258), Brian Dixon (252) and James McDonald (251) as the only other Demons to play 250 games. THE TEAMS NORTH MELBOURNE Backs Scott McMahon Scott Thompson Michael Firrito Half backs Shaun Atley Nathan Grima Jamie Macmillan Centreline Ryan Bastinac Daniel Wells Ben Cunnington Half forwards Leigh Adams Robert Tarrant Samuel Wright Forwards Lachlan Hansen Drew Petrie Lindsay Thomas Followers Todd Goldstein Andrew Swallow Brent Harvey Interchange Liam Anthony Matt Campbell Sam Gibson Kieran Harper Emergencies Cruize Garlett Aaron Mullett Cameron Richardson No change MELBOURNE Backs Daniel Nicholson James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Joel Macdonald James Frawley Colin Garland Centreline Rohan Bail Jack Grimes Jack Trengove Half forwards Colin Sylvia Stef Martin Lynden Dunn Forwards Neville Jetta Jared Rivers Brad Green Followers Jake Spencer Jordie McKenzie Nathan Jones Interchange Sam Blease Jeremy Howe Brent Moloney James Strauss Emergencies Matthew Bate Jordan Gysberts James Magner In Jordie McKenzie Brent Moloney James Sellar Out Tom Couch James Magner Ricky Petterd THE DECK CHAIRS One thing that puzzles me about Melbourne's team selection as the club meanders its way to a shameful end to an awful season is the reluctance of selectors to go all out with youth. The catch cry in football when all is lost and the season is prematurely over is usually one of "going for youth". Alternatively, you go for youth when your list is decimated by injury or suspension as was the case last week when Carlton selected three first gamers to play the Western Bulldogs. From all reports the trio, two of them plucked out of the Northern Blues reserves from a week earlier, all acquitted themselves well in Carlton's win. Melbourne, on the other hand, with an injury list that matches Carlton's appears reluctant to make bold selection moves and instead, has decided this week to move the deck chairs around. The result is that, apart from the compulsory return of Jordie McKenzie, two players in Brent Moloney and James Sellar (both available for selection last week) come into the side. I have nothing against either player but, given that Casey had a bye last week and neither of them played anywhere, what did they do to justify inclusion this week but not last? It makes no sense unless you're determined to simply move the deckchairs around and go through the motions. The problem is that in this game we have one team, sick, unhealthy, out of form and rudderless, going through the motions waiting for the season to end and another determined to cement its place in the real September action. The Roos need to win games and bolster their percentage and this hardly bodes well for the Demons. North Melbourne is in a position where a number of its stars are shining at the moment. Todd Goldstein should dominate the big men duels in the absence of Mark Jamar in the opposing ruck. I doubt that his replacement, Jake Spencer will have happy memories of a previous encounter with North at Etihad when he produced what looked like an air shot at goal that dribbled desultorily off the side and bottom of his boot. The Kangaroos have key forward Drew Petrie in career-best goal kicking form with seven in each of their past two games against Carlton and Richmond. He'll be a handfull for the Demon defenders, one of who will be grateful that the coach persists in experimenting with the idea of playing a backman up forward. Then there are Daniel Wells. Andrew Swallow and evergreen Brent Harvey who will run and spread all day creating havoc among Melbourne's pedestrian midfield. The end result will not look pretty as the Kangaroos take full advantage of that enormous piece of wood they have over the Demons. North Melbourne by 75 points.

It was a long, long time ago ... NORTH MELBOURNE Backs Jamie MacMillan Nathan Grima Scott Thompson Half backs Daniel Pratt Michael Firrito Brady Rawlings Centreline Ben Speight Shaun Atley Brent Harvey Half forwards Scott McMahon Aaron Edwards LThomas Forwards Sam Wright Drew Petrie Jack Ziebell Followers Todd Goldstein Andrew Swallow Daniel Wells Interchange Leigh Adams Ben Cunnington Lachlan Hansen Kieren Harper Emergencies Cruise Garlett Cam Pedersen Cam Richardson In Aaron Edwards Lachlan Hansen Out Liam Anthony Cam Pedersen MELBOURNE Backs James Frawley Matthew Warnock Clint Bartram Half backs Nathan Jones Colin Garland Luke Tapscott Centreline Ricky Petterd Lynden Dunn Brad Green Half forwards Colin Sylvia Liam Jurrah Addam Maric Forwards Jordan Gysberts Jack Watts Michael Newton Followers Stefan Martin Brent Moloney Aaron Davey Interchange Rohan Bail Jamie Bennell Neville Jetta Austin Wonaeamirri Emergencies Matthew Bate Max Gawn Joel Macdonald In Jamie Bennell Neville Jetta Stefan Martin Michael Newton Out Matthew Bate Jack Grimes (foot) Mark Jamar (knee) Jack Trengove (stabbed in the back by the MRP and AFL Tribunals)

OPPORTUNITY LOST by Mean Gene Football as a game is all about making the most out of your opportunities. When you fail to do that then its likely that you'll fail in your objective of winning and Melbourne certainly proved that in front of a meagre crowd of 6,714 at TIO Stadium for its encounter with Port Adelaide. Among those in attendance for the Top End game were some bemused looking US marines who picked an unusual venue for a spot of R 'n' R from their battles in Afghanistan. Their opponents from Al Quaeda were smarter. They gave the game a miss which was the right move because it turned into one that was well deserving of the AFL's smallest crowd of the year. A depleted Melbourne side came out of the blocks looking bound for a winning result for the second week in a row, this time against a fellow cellar dweller. And for the second week in a row, they blew their chances. Brad Green was in fine marking form in the early going as the Dees made a promising start in the mild to warm conditions. Stef Martin was handling the rucking duties in concert with Jake Spencer and when he went forward, booted an inspirational goal. The defence was working hard and forcing the Power forwards into error. They held a handy 13-point lead at quarter time but the momentum of the game turned dramatically in the second term when their scoreboard advantage was soon reeled in by a Port Adelaide that showed far more desperation for the win and for the football. Meanwhile, Melbourne continued to do what it has been doing best - hugging the boundary lines, making the wrong decisions with the football and breaking down up forward. Port Adelaide was not much better but, by going down the corridor, it was able to at least score. The result was that the Power had taken a firm grip on the game by half time even if the lead was only 9 points. With Green covered and Martin, who looked had looked dangerous when he went forward early in the proceedings now nowhere to be seen, the Demon forward line had gone missing. It was clear that they lacked the scoring power to win the game. From that point on, the Demons seemed to do most of the attacking but failed to make very much of their opportunities while their opponents managed to score goals when they went into attack. Strangely enough, it was Melbourne who finished with far more inside 50s (55 to 45) than Port yet this advantage was turned into a deficit of 16 to 24 in scoring shots and after quarter time, they converted only 3 out of 11 into goals. Of course, there was no Mitch Clark or Liam Jurrah up on the forward line or anyone else apart from Green early and a couple of goals from Jared Rivers in the last half but let's face it, the latter is a good defender playing a makeshift role up forward. The forward line selected for this match was never going to be likely to win a game like this with an ineffectual midfield providing sub standard delivery. Melbourne was not even able to gain inspiration from the hanger which Jeremy Howe took - he was one of the offenders when it came to converting opportunities to score goals. Perhaps it was the steamy conditions of tropical Darwin or the fact that there's nothing to play for (although for quite a few their futures in the game were on the line) but there weren't many four quarter performances on the night. Captain Jack Grimes was one of them , Tom McDonald was the best of the defenders and one or two others put in some effort but this was a game that could have been won had the team not failed to grasp its opportunities. Melbourne 5.0.30 5.1.31 7.5.47 8.8.56 Port Adelaide 2.5.17 5.10.40 8.10.58 12.12.84 Goals Melbourne Green Rivers 2 Blease Jones Martin Sylvia Port Adelaide P Stewart 5 Boak Broadbent Brett Ebert Lobbe D Stewart Wingard Young Best Melbourne Grimes Jones McDonald Nicholson Sylvia Macdonald Port Adelaide Boak P Stewart Cassisi Brett Ebert Pearce Cornes Injuries Melbourne Nil. Port Adelaide Pittard (ribs) Changes Melbourne Nil. Port Adelaide Nil. Reports Melbourne Nil. Port Adelaide Nil. Umpires Dalgleish Kamolins Hosking Crowd 6,714 at TIO Stadium.

With 2nd & 3rd placed players out injured Nathan Jones moves further in front:- 166 Nathan Jones 81 Mitch Clark 75 Jack Watts 71 Jared Rivers 63 Jeremy Howe 62 James Magner 56 Jack Grimes 50 Jordie McKenzie 42 Tom McDonald 38 James Frawley 34 Colin Sylvia 31 Stef Martin 28 Sam Blease 26 Matthew Bate 25 Jack Trengove 23 Dan Nicholson 20 Colin Garland 19 Cale Morton 15 Clint Bartram Joel Macdonald 14 Rohan Bail 8 James Sellar 7 Lynden Dunn Brad Green Neville Jetta 3 Brent Moloney Jake Spencer 1 Aaron Davey Luke Tapscott

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