Dr John Dee

Request denied.

Yes, congratulations BBO on all that work you put into making so many other posters look good.

Thanks Jack. And thanks rjay, well said.

Ah, science: http://www.skynews.com.au/culture/offbeat/2016/09/23/ig-nobels-honour-things--that-make-one-laugh-.html?ref=BP_LINKLIST_features-list_SKY_OFFBEAT_ig-nobels-honour-things--that-make-one-laugh-_260916 I have no doubt that certain of the activities detailed in this thread – BBO's in particular, though not exclusively – can be formalised sufficiently to walk off with one of these awards next year.

It's the Gold Coast hordes massing on the border that worry us most at the moment, daisy. But yeah, with talk of high speed trains back on the agenda we might soon be only a couple of hours from the centre of Sydney town. We'll have to balance the fear of cosmopolitanism against the vast profits to be made selling out to developers. A difficult choice. Oh, and go Sharks! (posted from the goldfish bowl)

Shouldn't that belong to Old Dee, Moonie, since he's turned himself around this year?

Actually, you implied, if there was anything to be inferred that would have been up to me; but that's a difference that - like the difference in how the Sharks' and Bombers' cases proceeded - has probably slipped your notice. Of course, it's hardly surprising that you'd miss the point, indeed any point about Cronulla since you seem now to view the whole world through the procrustean lens of your monomania about Essendon (even if I do agree with certain elements of it). Here, I'll say it again: the Cronulla issue is settled, over, done with, closed, it's a dead parrot; and that's how things could have been for the Essendon players. It's not a matter of whether people in Sydney or elsewhere give a sh*t or not. The players did the smart thing; they've done their time. And part of cutting a deal was getting away with something, whether it was 'much' or not according to your nephew or anyone else, so nothing new in that. I do, btw, know a bit more about Sydney that you're likely to be able to infer or even guess at.

Way off the mark, 'bub. It made (makes) all the difference that the players coughed up, didn't bother with endless noisy posturing (well, maybe with a bit from Gallen) and served their time. The Sharks behaved very differently as well (nor did they have a James Hird to drag things out forever and to get everyone offside) and the general impression left was that it was all down to Dank. There are other factors as well (turnover of players) but the Sharks, who've never won a premiership, are now sentimental favourites all over NSW and even amongst several Queenslanders I know, despite the fact that the Storm are more or less a Queensland exclave. Cronulla is a good example of what could have been at Essendon: accepting guilt, serving a sentence, being forgiven (I know you think that it's once guilty, always guilty as far as the Windy Hill mob is concerned, but the criminal justice system doesn't work that way and there's no real reason football should be any different).

Do you blokes have all those flaccid old puns on autofill or do you actually put some effort into the recycling campaign each time someone's willy gets a mention?

Included if only for the cover, but there may be plenty of other reasons for buying it:

At the risk of further distracting this thread, it's worth pointing out that I deleted over 40 posts. That's more than a quick scrolling could pass over, especially since they were scattered across 7 or 8 pages. You're also assuming that the irrelevance or disagreeableness or whatever of each and every one of these, including your own, was somehow knowable in advance of reading them. That takes a rare skill. And if you're suggesting that this sort of thing can be decided purely on the identity of the poster then the ignore button would surely be a far more efficient choice. Note to self: this is the internet, must use emoticons. I wasn't really being serious in my 'complaint' (do you really think the comment about press-ganging members was genuine? I'd have thought you were better with tone than that.) As it happens I'd already had a pm conversation the evening before with a poster whose views I trust absolutely about whether to intervene after the ridiculous digression impelled by Saty and his conversations had first begun to gather steam. I chose not to then but by the time faulty raised his concerns things were obviously getting out of hand. I'm not sure where the 'constant whining' you refer to is, but wherever it is I wasn't responding to it.

There you go, faulty, I've taken out the trash, or most of it. That's 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I reckon that any poster calling for the mass deletion of posts of any sort ought to be press-ganged into doing the job.

While some might question my medical qualifications, Uncle Bitters, they're sufficient to assure you with some confidence that there's no cure for Picket.

John Howard called, Picket. He wants his metaphor back.

Only just, Mr Old.

Mr Old, I found some difficulty in putting a finger on the problem with AzzKikA’s photograph and your offhand dismissal of the potential reactions of right-thinking denizens of these pages. So I contacted the local Banana Growers Federation in Murwillumbah for advice. Their media liaison officer, a Mr Stephen Bent, pointed out that the BGF accepts the following principle: depictions, portrayals or representations – direct or implied – of bananas in such a manner as would not be used in the context of any other fruit (pineapples, oranges, grapes and so on, even the egregious cumquat) are discriminatory and should be avoided. Fortunately Mr Bent regards AzzKika’s transgression as a minor example of the sort of casual fruitism that still pervades the popular media but which is declining with time. The bananarity suggested in the image is modest enough; and the BGF, in any case, has its hands full in dealing with people like Biffin’s mates in the so-called adult industry, where the most outstanding abuses of the reputation of the noble fruit continue to be perpetrated.

Spayed you, Moonie? What were they, part-time vets?

Copy the address in dazzle's post and paste it into google search and away you go. Works for me anyway and it's been used by others before.

On the passing of figures from the more than memorable past of comedy, the death of Bert Kwouk (Cato in the Pink Panther films) has just been announced.

That probably should read [censored] [censored] but I'm in a good mood today since my internet is w

My point exactly BBO. As for the Queensland border ... probably an ambiguity in my comment, actually meant to evoke the accepted truth that civilisation ends there other than has anything to do with what happens on the other side. In the meantime, have discovered that if I balance my mobile on the verandah rail and use it as a hotspot (Telstra vocabulary, in other words as a modem) not only can I read Demonland but I can add to it more or less anytime. A dangerous power, although it depends on the crows not taking off with the phone.

Just down the road? We are the Boonies ... well, we can see the Queensland border from here, so we do feel like we still have some contact with a few vestiges of civilisation even if they're a bit slow in arriving. And maybe it's just me, but I think it's all for the better when things are both whimsical and real.

Well, since you take no notice of any logic when it's pointed out to you, it's no surprise that you think there's no logic involved.

Some of us are forced to live in shadows that you who bask in the sun of technologically advanced civilisation can know little of, Uncle Bitters. It took me 23.5 minutes earlier today to post a brief and uncontroversial message on another thread and I only seem to have chanced by some glitch in misfortune upon the opportunity to deposit these words here now. Telstra ... 'nuff said. Though I will go on anyway. What passes for an internet in these parts is under normal conditions a joke but for some time now it's been bedevilled (certainly not bedemoned) by some rolling outage thing. The NBN Co (although they've branded themselves nbn co in some sort of – what? – demotic gesture) in their infinite wisdom had Telstra install a fixed wireless broadband tower hereabouts not so long ago. Its reach ends at the bridge over Hopping Dicks Creek, some 500 metres short of our humble cottage. nbn co point out that their remit is to implement government policy, so it's hardly surprising that Mr Harbourside Mansion's haves/have nots understanding of the world should be played out metonymically in the various wakes and eddies of his time in charge of communications. We are now undergoing the indignity of applying for a satellite connection in the hope of some sort of regularity, but the contract is so thoroughly hedged by conditions about access and speeds that I fear we are only entering one of those English country estate mazes. In the meantime I will continue to lapse into inevitable and probably prolonged silences. Most here may entirely approve of that. At least we have bananas.

Article 11.2 of the WADA Code says this: "If more than two members of a team in a Team Sport are found to have committed an anti-doping violation during an Event Period, the ruling body of the Event shall impose an appropriate sanction on the team (e.g. loss of points, Disqualification from a Competition or Event, or other sanction) in addition to any Consequences imposed upon the individual Athletes committing the anti-doping rule violation." Since nothing meted out to EFC thus far has been on the basis of a finding of anti-doping violations it stands to reason that their punishment under the ASADA (WADA) Code is yet to come. No doubt the AFL will try to find every way possible to wriggle out of the consequences of the final judgment against the players, if that's what the appeals court delivers, but sanctions against EFC should still be on the table. As for "[n]one of the administrators in charge of the club this season were there in 2012" I've seen some bottom-of-the barrel-arguments in the whole sorry affair, but this is pretty close to getting splinters under the fingernails. I wouldn't mind seeing some sort of reference either for your claim that Dank has "given evidence" in the Bock case. If you mean posturing in front of a microphone that's another story.