Tarax Club

Rather too harsh!

6 Max Gawn 5 Steven May 4 Ed Langdon 3 Luke Jackson 2 James Harmes 1 Jack Viney Honourable mentions; James Jordon Angus Brayshaw Bayley Fritsch Christian Petracca Adjudication; Bafflement at contact rules interpretation either rewards inconsequential soft as fairy floss contact or ignores GBH. Umpire imposter who omnisciently mindread miscued on 'intentional' out of bounds rule still seeking audition as Quasimodo in new production of Hunchback of Notre Dame at Her Majesty's Theatre Adelaide. Still lost in Adelaide oval carpark seeking boundary. Overall; Hinkley's game plan of Ring a Ring of Rosie blown in five minutes. As Curtis Mayfield wrote (Demons) Move on Up!

By the sound of things in the City of Churches, Port are already in the Last Chance Saloon. Not even Burgess’s fitness regime can save them (wrong side of town). To paraphrase the late JW “We’re here to kick power’s [censored] and drink whisky. And Pilgrim we’re all out of whisky.” On the question of margin we’ll again defer to Marion Robert Morrison quote ‘Just one more question Pilgrim. How far up your (self-censored) do you you want my boot?’

Tom and Tommo both in the traveling party to Adelaide. One makes the side t'other the emergency? Post-epoch changing premiership some things never change though. Some posters it appears must have their favourite whipping boy of the week. Tom's in the Mix this week with some other handy 'sidekicks' featured in earlier rounds. Joel 'Hold the Ranch' Smith seemed to be running on quicksand rounds 1&2 but matters have firmed somewhat last week, but not all are convinced. But he does have growing support on the boards here. Jaydyn Hunt, 'Curly' to his mates was on a 'hiding to nothing' in the early going but gained some composure in the recent showdown at 'Dodge' City V bomber gang. Yet another 'Tom' mentioned in post-match deespatches. Young up and coming leading man Tom Sparrow is also in the frame it seems, for spaying his bullets last outing. But deeper into the movie (replay) he did take down resident bad guy Jake 'Johnny Ringo' Stringer. Is there a theme here? Back to the other Tom, "MacDonald" may not be setting the world on fire but he does have the virtue of being an old fashioned experienced utility. Solid down back in the necessary defensive re-shuffle V dogs and providing opportunity for re-introduced gunslinger forward Sam 'Weedo'man with his bullocking 1%'s taking the heat. JW's "I'm here to kick-power [censored] and drink whisky. And pilgrim I'm all out of whisky". Applies.

Gus Brayshaw top of (the) pops! Jaydyn Hunt Clint Eastwood directs… Joel Smith get better 🤓

6 Clayton Oliver 5 Ed Langdon 4 Angus Bradshaw 3 Joel Smith 2 Jack Viney 1 Sam Weidemann Honourable mentions; Max Gawn Jake Bowey James Harmes Luke Jackson Christian Petracca Jayden Hunt Adjudication (Specsavers award) Clean up the packs! It’s an infringement free zone. Too much wrestlemania and head high contact. Plus drop the man on the mark marionette farce. Opposition hyperbole watch; #25 overrated superannuant claim to fame? Swallowed the dog while supposedly on lollipop duty. Positive; pleased to see two metre Peter’s career on the (w)right trajectory impressive. Overall comment; Dees 2022 it’s another great vintage in the making.

Wrong episode Exterminate!!!

Agree JB he can spray a few but some of his foot passes last night were terrific. Hit his intended target laser like lace out. Massively impressed by his courageous return to the field and performance after being seriously ‘collected’. Given his history of concussion. It was a big hit.

Angus Brayshaw committed and courageous Alex Neal-Bullen career best form Jayden Hunt hiding to nothing

6 Christian Petracca 5 Luke Jackson 4 Clayton Oliver 3 Alex Neal-Bullen 2 Jake Bowey 1 Steven May Honourable mentions; Angus Brayshaw James Harmes Adam Tomlinson Joel Smith Max Gawn Trent Rivers Ed Langdon (second half) Adjudication; Position vacant for persons of either gender who can competently interpret Australian football rules with equanimity. Being able to bounce the ball correctly would help. 🦊 📺 Commentary team for this evening were not Rupert’s finest. Overall; Suns talented roster is on the rise but were unable to get over the determined but hot and cold Demons.

Mad as March hares! So the round 11 clash late May ⏰ decides it. Who plays the Mad Hatter? A resurrected Eddie noWhere or do they go to Melbourne General Cemetery and exhume Pig Iron Bob? Toss of a coin decides it.

🕵️‍JT astutely choose young Pickett 🕵️‍Coiffure exclusive to Teddy’s Saloon 🕵️‍Life of the post goal 🎈 party

Empirical evidence suggests otherwise. Wonder boy didn’t raise a beep.

If our guys continue to chalk up premiership points whilst flying close to under the radar that’s fine. All those below daylight can scrap like a superfluity of steroided seagulls seeking substance from Gill’s leftover cold chips. All amply illuminated by the media circus spotlight of course.

Slurp… Burp… Yawn… F*rt…

Question is who’s head rolls first, Sweeney Todd or Brett Ratten? Given the saints propensity for appalling haircuts and diabolical skills. Tim Burton should be co-opted to document the saints season with the working title “Nightmare on Linton Street”

6. Christian Petracca 5. Ed Langdon 4. Ben Brown 3. Alex Neal-Bullen 2. Angus Bradshaw 1. Joel Smith Honourable mentions Clayton Oliver Jack Viney Jayden Hunt Charlie Spargo Max Gawn Tom McDonald Specsavers Award Umpire(s) responsible for gifting opposition with two dubious free kicks resulting in goals. Final summation Demons too good, a champion team well drilled and resilient.

Great to be at ‘G again sharing our unique Aussie rules game with a terrific crowd. Congratulations to the club for organising such a heartfelt inclusive celebration with due reference to our rich history of triumph overcoming tribulation. Last night’s premiership flag ceremony was definitely one for the true believers. The match whilst played for just home and away premiership points this time, was worthy of season opening status and a bona fide advertisement for our home grown game. Concur with what many of the previous posters have said about the team and individual performances. After being challenged by a highly skilled bulldogs outfit in the second stanza our teams’ response was full of determined resolve. The reshuffled defence was not made up by a bunch of second stringers but largely filled with experienced cool heads who ‘tightened the nuts’ as the game wore on. On this showing those guys waiting patiently in the wings will grasp opportunities when they arise. Expect skills including goal kicking to improve in the coming weeks, challengers and pretenders look out!

Your Top End correspondents will be in attendance this evening Currently enjoying repast and beverage at Bellota Wine Bar. Premiership hangover? Hair of the dog? Coiffured and cute but no bone. Hairdryers are getting a workover at Teddy’s saloon as we speak.

Thought Jack McCrae was the multi-vehicle pile up specialist. Parking at the Whitten oval car park is at high risk and not recommended by the RACV.

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WJ in another earlier life one could see you Phil Spector like twiddling the knobs to produce another hit. You’d expect more fight from the dogs, but you can only judge this mob on their last outing. Clearly we had the Four Tops. Even ‘the Bont’ didn’t make the cut.

If Max tossed Daniels there would have been an outcry! Students of Mad Monday may recall the ignominy of a Tigers end of season event that created a media storm in the HUN teacup. The PC takeout? Vertically challenged tossing ist verboten.Giant tossing? New season starts Wednesday 16th March. Gussies’ twin is salivating…