Bitter but optimistic

Exactly! I fear my wit is wasted. Speaking of witch, I have noted that the immoderator vandals have been heavy handed with the red pencil to some of my recent most eloquent posts.

I'm back and now refreshed. Although I note that this interlectual thread has been sadly neglected in my absence. I did have to take have a few days rest after my sojourn to the colonial outposts. (Being fawned over for a week can be very arduous - even for one who is accustomed to flattery) I had little success in avoiding Biffen unfortunately. Though I must say he has a surprising and extensive network of contacts over there. Albeit among the drunken and drug addicted class. As I understand it, he is currently working his way through rural villages buying antiquities and funerary artefacts from the poor and ignorant. He makes the British Museum look like a philanthropic organisation. I have also noted some irregularities on my credit card statement and, as I had Biffen conduct a financial transaction for me, I fear he may have "Sylvia'd" me !

[censored] me !! Book reviews!! What is Demonland becoming ?

There is one certainty in this uncertain world. Picket's posts are always as popular as a [censored] sandwich!

Just taking a break from spreading good will in the Far East colonies chanced upon biffen yesterday - he was drunk of course and invited uncle to a luncheon It was a surprisingly decent tavern and despite being surrounded by his shady associates and a poor choice of wine the tucker was rather good come bill paying time Biffen fell for the old chestnut that I'd left my wallet in my room safe bwahaha! One to uncle bitter!

Bah! As if I would share my Tanqueray Dry with one of your vulgar palate.

I shall think of you Ethan. I'm also into spooning.

Thank you for your concern Ethan, however, the libation you mentioned is more likely to be found in those less than salubrious habitats that one of my station barely glances at from the comfort of my palanquin.

Just a quick note to inform my vast and loyal readership that, come the Sabbath, Uncle Bitter is jetting off to the Asian Colonies to enjoy a well earned respite from the onerous responsibility of manorial duties. Fear not though. A crew of toadies is eagerly awaiting the grand arrival and your good Uncle shall be treated with respect due to one of high station. Unfortunately all is not pucker. It has come to one's attention, that due to bizarre coincidence, Biffen has also chosen this time to flee to the colonies. Further, and based on good authority, it seems his reasons are more to do with avoiding err... legal responsibilities than any form of uplifting cultural experience . Nonetheless, it's onward and upward, and given that the hospitality and accommodation set aside for my good self is of lavish standard it is unlikely that your ever kind Uncle shall cross paths with those that frequent common houses and ghettos.

Inanity at its best!

Says more about the taste ( or lack thereof of the audience) I suspect od.

Says more about the taste (or lack thereof) of the audience od.

I shall happily give you a jolly good thrashing for free frogger!

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

I'll give you blokes a free tip. Don't give up your day jobs to get a gig at The Comedy Festival.

The above feeble attempts at humour, directed at my good self, have been duly noted.

Of course it is! After all, my good sagacious, intelligent, incisive and modest self posts here.

A very tactless post dc. Imagine how poor old Ernie feels about such matters. Show some consideration in future.

Well skinny, I'm assuming it's modern speak for some sort of seasonal good wishes

Well here's a mystery to be solved. After a considerable hiatus, our most crass correspondent has returned. Where have you been Biffen? Moonie suggested on another thread that, due to various addictions, you had undergone a long period of rehab. Certainly plausible. Whereas my contacts among your sordid social milieu claim that issues with law enforcement authorities have forced something of a hermit lifestyle upon you. Again plausible. Perhaps you should take this opportunity and attempt to restore your reputation to the level of merely odious.

In my typically festive mood Happy Christmas to all my fellow [censored]

Well our history suggests you have reasonable grounds for that sentiment od !

Indeed dc! Seating will become tricky - not to mention guaranteed GF tickets.

Valid point Ethan but I consider being encouraged to marry one's sister an unfair advantage.

Here's something to aspire to. According to today's "Sunday Sin" the toiges membership has reached 70000 before Christmas. The article also indicates that there membership was around 35000 in 2010 and has risen progressively each year. We can only dream