beelzebub

Needs much tinkering ..it does

The last bit of your earlier comment aside the rest warrants a good looking at. A cake is as much the recipe as its ingredients after all

warning...a bit long ......... A Melbourne Supporter dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name, ...and club. "So, you're a Demon Supporter..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for supporters of that team, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!" "Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!" says the Demon. "Those are the rules," replies St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the supporter disappears. He awakens, curled up with his hands over his eyes, just knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can't be right? "Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wow, this is the penthouse suite... And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" The Demon asks. "Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!" "Wait, this is Hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering? ( something he's well experienced ) Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we're a bit misrepresented, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside..." Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the Demon wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby. Everyone waves and welcomes him. Satan signs autographs and cheerily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, slap him on the back and trade jokes. His worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall magpie-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, the wine Red and steak a tinged Blue Everyone is falling about laughing and flinging bread sticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After hours of passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep... and is woken up by St Peter. "So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the Melbourne Supporter. "So then," says St Peter. "You can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on." "Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell," says the Demon. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again. The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. "What's this??" He cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???" "Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, was preseason !!”

The team needs to exorcise more !!

Here's some rather damning reading...( from mfc site ) Experience differential Games: Melbourne (2154) v Collingwood (1569) Goals: Melbourne (1370) v Collingwood (933) Average age: Melbourne (25 years, 43 days) v Collingwood (23 years, 274 days) Couple that with their somewhat depleted lineup v our near full strength and they pantsed us MFC should go into the ice cream business

He said that BEFORE the game

shhhhh !!!! we're depressed enough already !!

Why do we follow Melbourne......just for the Hell of it !!!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Melbourne supporter....sold his soul to Santa !!

you may then enjoy the recap from ol' friend Titus; "Collingwood (99) v The most frustrating thing ever invented in the history of time (83) Some days it dawns on you that you’ve wasted enormous chunks of your life. As a Demons fan, these days come with alarming regularity. Against a Collingwood side that had little riding on this game, except saving a not very successful coach, the Demons played this with the intensity of the EJ Whitten game. There is no excuse for what happened. Melbourne had the chance to secure themselves a spot in the finals, and they blew it with a performance as disappointing as it was predictable. Let’s not forget, the Demons had a chance to play finals last year, only to lose to an awful Carlton side. The thing that made me most bitter about this performance was it meant I had to effectively barrack for the Dockers and then the Crows to win. Who puts someone in that situation? Not a friend. Was this the worst weekend of my life? The thing about Melbourne is they give you so many to choose from. Did anyone in the world have a worse weekend than Melbourne fans? Well, let’s just say I had people who are living in Syria call me to see if I was OK. I guess expecting to rush back into finals after just eleven years out was a bit ambitious. I’m just waiting to see the Brisbane Lions rebuild overtake Melbourne’s in the next few seasons. One thing you have to give Collingwood credit for is they at least have pride in their club. They just wanted this more, pure and simple. They would have also been thrilled to discover the Demons decided this was the week to give up tackling."

if ya gunna talk the talk, ya better walk the walk ( first )

tip of the iceberg me thinks The media will ragdoll us now

ah yes...Jobe...I feel comforted now.....all is well...all is well.

but I take Jnr's point though... whilst the idea is correct...we arent too flash at enacting it. Therefore....

yes....very much so. There were definitely some wise folk among us who mentioned this very early in the year. Well done to them. Even in the games this year , it would have been about not conceding late goals..about keeping the effort up to them ALL game. Someone put it as little as two goals for the whole season. I wonder how many times through the season a player or two has thought...'bugger that..let it through etc.." only to then consider..well its only one goal in a whole season !! What was it they say......mind the pennies the pounds will look after themselves. We need to play more accountably...for the whole game.. Again this will come back to mental toughness

and if so he would listen. He doesnt seem too good at learning, or if he is able...to implement it just yet. Blundstone and Manuka come to mind

@rpfc Be very interested in your take on this. I know you harbour views to certain games. Just asking

and gee...not hard to think of three games eh??

Its what you have when you dont have a Goodwin !!! and where is he ?? capiche ?

thats not the point...this was a moment in time to offer apologies for a dismal [censored] up season that culminated in Saturdays abysmal performance..not to discuss sat as such at all. therefore Viney, Chunk and Badloss ought to have been there. In reality only Badloss and perhaps Buttlett should have been the ones

think I might indulge actually....where's the Capt Morgan ???

Ok heres the thing. this thread was created to be a refuge from mentioning HWSNBN...and comfort lounge away from all the bullshlt. Hnece it's name I propose we have a moratorium on mentioning thing anything about the MFC as there's no bigger can of bullshlt that it right atm !! Hows the banana crops going ??

I can't argue against this.. you sort of want to but much bitten, more shy now

I was actually thinking about Badloss... but indeed ...where's ol Bartlett..indeed where's anyone other than Chunk.

I know I know...but this isn't Sat..that's over ..No one can change what happened or what they did..What is done is done What any do NOW..is what matters. What's happening currently causes me concern