Demonstone

A poster on Bomberblitz is posting an assessment of every team for 2026 and this is his take on Melbourne. People will no doubt quibble with some of his comments, but I think he does a pretty reasonable job for a non-MFC fan. (Why was I looking at Blitz? Because there's not much footy news to be found and it pays to know your enemy.) Melbourne Coach – Steven King 2025 – Points For – 10th Points Against – 12th Top 5 Best and Fairest 1 – Max Gawn 2 – Christian Petracca 3 – Kysaiah Pickett 4 – Jake Bowey 5 – Christian Salem 2025 Rising Star Noms Harvey Langford (Rnd 3) Xavier Lindsay (Rnd 7) Ins – Oscar Berry, Max Heath, Changkuoth Jiath, Thomas Matthews, Brodie Mihocek, Riley Onley, Latrelle Pickett, Jack Steele, Kalani White, Xavier Taylor Outs – Jack Billings, Kynan Brown. Tom Fullarton, Marty Hore, Judd McVee, Clayton Oliver, Christian Petracca, Oliver Sestan, Charlie Spargo, Will Verall, Taj Woewodin My Prediction Melbourne were one of the surprise packets of last season. In retrospect, their miserable year was probably always coming, the lunatics have been running that asylum for a while. 2026 has all the hallmarks of a reset and I am not sure a good one, they have taken a coach from Geelong after heavily courting Buckley. This has potential disaster written all over it. The backline looks pretty similar to last season, they shopped May around but surprisingly few takers. Lever looks to have hit the injured phase of his career and they lack KP depth. They found one last year in Turner who was very handy. Bowey rediscovered some of his early career form. They lose McVee who had been very solid. The midfield is really going to be interesting. No more throwing Petracca in the middle and the vague hope that Oliver will become a good player again is no longer teasing the fans. They found one in Windsor, Langdon will continue on the other wing with his very gradual decline that no one seems to have noticed. Bringing in Steele could be a masterstroke although him and Viney feel like the same player and I am not sure you carry two of them in modern football. Their midfield looks to have gone from a strength to a genuine concern. The forward line has been broken even when they won their premiership. They have brought in Mihocek in a search for answers but I am not sure he is it. I understand why he took the deal he was offered but he is aging and wont be around next time this team is a contender. They will miss Petracca up forward and Van Rooyen looks like a player that looks like a player (without actually ever becoming a player). Pickett is a freak and they have brought in a stable mate to at least make them exciting to watch. The forward line remains as problematic as ever. The ruck surely has to slow down at some stage. The way Gawn has stayed at the top of the game in a position when not many can is phenomenal. They have brought in Heath which is almost the exact opposite of Gawn in that he has never looked real flash or consistent. The coach seems an moneyball sort of selection. He will need time but looking at their recruits, I am not convinced that the Demons recognise the window has closed. I don’t see the Demons as a challenger even for the playoffs this year. They have relied on too few for too much over the last couple of years and they are even thinner for talent this year. I am not sure they slide too much further although its possible. I think they finish in the 12-14 range.

My English teacher said that I'd never be any good at poetry because of my dyslexia. Well, I showed her. So far I've made two vases, a coffee mug and an ashtray.

The four ages of men ... 1 - You believe in Santa 2 - You don't believe in Santa 3 - You pretend to be Santa 4 - You look like Santa

That last one's pretty good apart from the one little eye and the way too small (and wonkily drawn) cup.

That's very, very good @jnrmac ! I'll see your Petracca song and raise you a DDJ (Double Dad Joke). Sherlock Holmes is out skindiving with his faithful associate when Watson exclaims "My goodness Holmes, what's that weird creature over there?". The detective has a look and replies "It's a yellow manta ray, my dear Watson". Just then Dean Martin swims by and says "And that eel next to it? That's a moray".

https://i.imgur.com/Mg8fKok.mp4

Yeah well, I heard those jokes from Tim Lamb.

Aussie: “That your dog?” Kiwi: “Yep” Aussie: "Mind if I speak to him?’ Kiwi: "Dogs don’t talk.” Aussie: Hey dog, how’s it going?" Dog: “Doing all right.” Kiwi: (look of shock) Aussie: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Kiwi) Dog: “Yep.” Aussie: How’s he treating you?" Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play.” Kiwi: (Look of absolute disbelief!) Aussie: “Mind if I talk to your horse?” Kiwi: "Horses don’t talk.” Aussie: “Hey horse, how’s it going?” Horse: “Cool.” Kiwi: (Extreme look of shock!) Aussie: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing to the Kiwi) Horse: “Yep.” Aussie: “How’s he treating you?” Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather.” Kiwi: (Look of total amazement!) Aussie: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?” Kiwi: "That sheep’s a bloody liar!!”

Another music one. Q: What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer? A: The Stones had a big hit in the 60s with 'Hey You Get Off Of My Cloud' while the farmer says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe".

The Beatles were gathered for Christmas lunch and George accepted the task of carving the bird Ringo said he'd like the drumsticks, Paul chose wings, while John opted for cold turkey.

I run an adblocker (free to download), so I never see ads on Youtube or other sites that I frequent.

Yes, @Ghostwriter has reaped the rewards for her perseverance and becomes one of the Famous Five. Matthew 20:16 - "So the last will be first ..." The solution to the teaser is that the last letter of each player's first name is also the first letter of their surname. Tom (Thomas) Sims was a naughty ruse. I don't know if it made any difference to people's thinking or not. The baton has now been passed to @Little Goffy who has his next effort ready to go (or so I am assured).

Then I stand corrected for a second time. I think I'll just stick to my records. 😁

Ah! I see what you mean. We can listen to that playlist that you posted for free. (But you have to pay if you wish to download from the site.)

Stop being naughty, binny! Youtube is free for anybody to view, whereas Spotify requires payment.

Welcome @tilly18 to the list of winners. Answer to be revealed around 1pm today. In the meantime, here's a final hint (and it's a gimme) - the solution is not as difficult as it INITIALLY appears.

How about if I mention that the other coach is Sam Mitchell?

One incorrect suggestion has been received overnight, but no further action. Would it help if I mentioned that Tom Sims first name is actually Thomas and that the eligible Scott is Chris? Answer to be revealed later on today.

As a general rule, I'm not one to quote the Bible. However, most of you seem to be without a prayer so you might find some guidance in Matthew 20:16. (Please be aware that 'Matthew 20' does NOT refer to M. Febey. ) See you all tomorrow. It's going to be a scorcher apparently.

Yes, @Timothy Reddan-A'Blew is aware of the solution and, as a fair and just reward, may select a beverage of his choice from the team esky. Incidentally TRAB, this is the last of my current arsenal so it's over to you and/or @Little Goffy and/or anybody else to devise the next teaser.

@Go Ds has indeed solved it, and can now enjoy an ice-cold stubby of VB with the boys in the dressing rooms for coming third. The teaser will remain open until tomorrow should any others care to have a go. A final clue will be posted before I go to bed tonight. (Why a final clue? Because I don't have any others.)

Third prize still up for grabs. Haven't received a PM with your answer, @Go Ds . (Any previous PM conversations deleted a long time ago)

One of the two is a Scott brother. Perversely, his twin isn't the other one.

Although the answer is not football related, two current AFL coaches would qualify for inclusion.