Go Lordie

What really p#sses me off is that, after some injury-affected seasons, we now have virtually a full and fit roster to choose from and we are playing like the Oodnogalarbi Thirds.

Cheer up, Demonlanders! The Mighty Dees are now clear competition leaders in the important area of kicking behinds! Yes, we have now kicked 179 behinds are are now 11 clear of the Lions, the Dogs, the Pies and the Cats. Great company, eh? What to do about it? Well, now finals are out of the picture, Goody should redesign our training regime so that we spend 50pc of training time practising goal kicking. It has become more than embarrassing. We are a laughing stock. I imagine that, when Max has taken a terrific mark in the F50 and is lining up for goal, the opposition players are saying to each other "set up for a kick out". Question for Binman: does the TAB offer in-game odds on set shots for goal? It would be a sure-fire way for Dees supporters to at least make a few bucks out of their misery by backing the behind. Go Dees!🔵🔴🔵

I thought Collingwood must have been loading....

The Dees aren't able to gauge when an opponent is too close to their kicking target. We get spoiled all the time. And our forwards are still not leading. I thought JVR was showing something in Q1, but.......

Is it time to trade Tracc?

Sadly, he's giving little in either role.

I'm worried he won't come back.

During the warm-up before the game, I watched JVR practising shooting for goal at the Richmond end. I saw his last four shots. 1: 45m out on a slight angle to the left: missed. 2: 35m out on the same angle: missed. 3: 25m out on the same angle: missed. 4: 30m out on the same angle : got it. In the end it didn't matter. He didn't get a shot at goal that I can recall.

Wotevva u sei, meight.

Anyone who wants to be understood. Otherwise, #$%@!=÷$%&

Pedant alert! "The umpires played their part (not there)"

I can't believe Petracca's agent agreed to the format used in the Colgate ad. Heeney gets to take the screamer over Tracc and also gets the last, long shot lying on the ground flashing his pearly whites. Did they draw straws or flip a coin? I'm astonished they didn't shoot two versions, one for NSW and one for Victoria ( the other states probably aren't that fussed, I'm guessing). Maybe Tracc got paid more to take the fall. If he did he made a big miscalculation. Every time I see it, I die a little inside. Go Dees! 🔵🔴🔵

Cheer up. team! We are leading the competition in one vital area. And we know the MFC considers it vital because the team does it so well. Yes, we are leading the competition in kicking points. We have kicked 154 points this year, more than any other team, and one more than the Filth - and they are on top of the ladder! How good are we????

I'm being serious here. Has anyone actually asked Goody what the goal-kicking training regimen is at our club? You know, like how many hours a week do our players actually practice kicking for goal. Ideally, 3 or 6 or however many players should stay back after training and just have shots at goal, from different distances, different angles. You can't come back into the rooms until you have kicked 50 goals. Forget the sports scientists who say "Oh no, that will ruin his muscle development or his self-confidence". Just get out there are perfect your kicking technique. You can't stop until you have kicked 50 goals. If the sun sets, turn the lights on so they can kick their 50 goals. Simple, really. It's clear from the last three or four years that we do not practice this vital art.

Message from the Melbourne Football Club: "Ha ha ha! Fooled you! All you Demons supporters out there who think we're trying to get into the finals. We are not. We are just trying to amuse all the supporters of the other clubs. We are here just to frustrate you. We play this game called football, but we don't even bother to learn the basic foot skills needed to play a game called FOOTball. Why should we? We are just the light entertainment to keep the crowds amused while the serious teams win all the spoils. Hint: every time we publish a selection list or recruit a "gun" young player, just laugh. Laugh your hardest. Because we are, too."