Mazer Rackham

Let's face it. We're hopeless, have always been hopeless, always will be hopeless, people pick on us, our kids are no hopers, our job sucks, our horses always lose, we never even pick up a division 4 in tattslotto, we're going to get sacked tomorrow, and the sky is falling. On the bright side, a giant comet may strike the earth and finish us all off before we win another wooden spoon.

1. you can guarantee one of those two things will happen anyway, eventually 2. goodwin knows this, and knows your option 2 is the more likely 3. the reason he's doing all this is so he can fulfil option 1

So the media have a scoop about a media magnet player but they're not reporting it. That sounds exactly like something the media would do. the only way I can see that happening is if Watts is screwing both Rupert Murdoch and Bill Shorten.

As to those needing to know when did the club make this determination and what incident triggered it... Does it even matter? The exact day, time, who said what and to whom? It's not a murder investigation. Jack hasn't been accused of murder as far as I know (but if I search these threads I might get a surprise ...) The exact reason, what deed was committed on what day, or what was said, what expression was on their face? We don't need to know that. Girls whose BFF has broken up with their boyfriend need to know that. The only thing we need to know is the fundamental fact that at some stage, for some reason, the club decided they're better off going forward without him. They've said roughly why. The rest is us at a pyjama party filling in time until the scary movie starts.

I don't see why the club cops the blame for these derogatory rumours going around. They said pretty simply what the story is, and it's others who have leapt in to expand it into character assassination and/or hints of black ops. In the space of a month, Jack has gone from an unfilfilled talent to the worst footballer in the comp. Jack has always been a media magnet and for that reason it is wise to completely disregard anything that doesn't come out of his mouth, or the club's. The most credible explanation is the simplest: club believes Jack is an underperformer, and believes they're better placed going forward without him on the list. London to a brick there's nothing more to it than that. The rest is sound and fury signifying nothing.

Are you talking about Trenners?

Is this a secret code? Something to do with Collingwood? Jack got drunk, crashed a car and lied about it? Jack wished that he could drown Caroline Wilson on a radio show? Jack discovered he's Brazilian and wants to change his name to Jabreira Wattango?

Thing is ... we've finally got to the emerald city and now we can see what's behind the curtain. It's not an elite player yet to fulfill his potential after all. It's a decent player with good skills but middling impact. If he stays at MFC next year he will be in and out of the side like Kent and Bugg. Brought in based on matchups and VFL form.

A few have hinted at some secret reason why Jack has been given his marching orders. My spies have gone to work and discovered this "secret truth". it wasn't Brock McLean who sicced the AFL on to us re tanking, it was Jack Watts it wasn't Joe Gutnick who dobbed us in to the AFL re salary cap, it was Jack Watts we were going to draft Ollie Wines but Jack Watts said if we did, he would upload "those" photos Jack Watts personally organised the player protest on the day of 186. (The plan failed, they were supposed to lose by 200.) Jack Watts introduced Steven Dank to the MFC doctor and directed him to give us his best gear. Then called ASADA. But the one that tipped the scales was on the night of Mad Monday. He threw up on Max Gawn's bed and said "I've been waiting five years to do that!"

That's a trick question. Answer: don't wear a burgundy suit.

Do these young mens' girlfriends really allow them to dress like that?

The Jones I'm thinking of is an entirely different kind of artist.

Life, mate. High on life.

It was Mad Monday. Goodwin had some melanotan left over from his Essendon days. It's the drug that gives you a fake tan and a three day .... erm ... let's just say something that gives you "performance". He opened the cupboard and found Watts had stolen his stash. "Jack, what did you do with my mellies?" "Your what? I thought they were eccies!" "You stupid bugger! Give 'em back!" "I can't! I don't have 'em. I sold them down the nightclub." "You what! They were my last ones!" "Sorry coach." "Hand it over." "Hand over what?" "What you got for them. Hand it over." "I can't exactly ... hand it over ..." "Listen f**ker. Whatever you got for those drugs, give it to me. Right now. Or you're out the door." "Well ... okay ...." "Well!? Hurry up!" "Alright. Undo your belt." The rest is history.

Goody asked for a pair of free board shorts. Watts said he had to pay retail like everyone else. Goody asked what about a discount. Watts said only volume discounts and you have pre order for 5000 units. Goody said that isn't fair and Watts laughed and kicked sand in his face and tried to crack on to his missus.

Off the top of my head. Clarkson to Hawks 2005. No HFC connection. No HFC credentials. (He replaced Peter Schwab who had lots of HFC credentials.) Sheedy 1981. No EFC connection. No EFC credentials. (He replaced Barry Davis who has lots of EFC credentials.) Those clubs must be spewing.

Alan Jones is cool in your house??

Trade period is meant to be exciting? You probably watch chess shrieking out "just move the bloody thing!!!!!"

No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.

This whole thread is like going into the room for getting hit on the head lessons

Side B of my earlier post: The lunatic is on the thread The lunatic is on the thread Remembering trades and priority picks now dead Got to keep the loonies in the shed The lunatic is on D-land The lunatic is on D-land The web sites tell of trades that didn't go as planned And every day the future looks less grand And if the cap flows over many years too soon And if there is no room upon the list And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

Mahoney, get away Get a good player on less pay and you're okay Mahoney, you're flash Grab those picks with both hands and make a stash New star, on radar, big star daydream Think you'll buy me a football team Mahoney, get back He's all right, Jack, kindly keep off his back Mahoney, you're a hit Try to get that Watts boy to commit I'm in the high-anxiety hand wringing demon set All I want from the draft is a jet

1. shut up 2. come back to pre season in great nick. the best nick he's ever been for pre season 3. do extras. Copy stretch or one of the other good trainers 4. be the last one off the track every time 5. self imposed ban on the grog or the parties or some beloved activity to send a message to his teammates that he's serious

Yes, that is exactly what I'm doing. Good to see your reading comprehension is up to snuff. Now, see if you can work on your interpreting context.