It was Jerry Seinfeld’s response to a question from Elaine “ what compels a seemingly normal human being to do something like that?”

So what would compel a seemingly normal Melbourne supporter to turn up and watch what could only be described as a massacre in the making?

You guessed it:

Now I know this is meant to be a preview but we first look at the recent history.

Round 7, 2012

Melbourne 6.13 (49)

Hawthorn 15.25 (115)

Round 18, 2011

Melbourne 12.6 (78)

Hawthorn 20.12 (132)

Round 2, 2011

Melbourne 12.5 (77)

Hawthorn 16.26 (122)

Round 20, 2010

Melbourne 12.6 (78)

Hawthorn 15.9 (99)

Round 1, 2010

Melbourne 8.13 (61)

Hawthorn 17.15 (117)

Well there’s nothing in that recent history which would inspire anyone … the only common factor seems to be that Melbourne are only capable of 18 to 20 scoring shots on goal in the whole game!

Phew! I thought that Mark Neeld’s presence caused us to stink but it seems that we have been consistently on the nose for a long time before that, and I didn’t want to dredge too far back into the past against Hawthorn, lest I come up against a certain preliminary final match in the late 80’s!

We do, of course, live with eternal hope. We could find someone in the side who has the same “intestinal fortitude” as Ben Watson in this clip:

Also note we would struggle to have ANY recent pictures on the walls at the club if we used the Patriots criteria.

And Watson’s comment “ stuff like that doesn’t take a whole lot of talent” rings particularly with what is lacking at Melbourne today. It’s all about effort…it’s all the fans need, but they are being starved of any sort of hope until the players decide that they are prepared to put in …

THE GAME Melbourne v Hawthorn at the MCG Sunday 2 June 2013 at 3.20 pm.

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Melbourne 74 wins Hawthorn 81 wins

At MCG Melbourne 35 wins Hawthorn 40 wins

Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Hawthorn 15 wins

The Coaches Neeld 0 wins Clarkson 1 win

MEDIA

TV – TBA

RADIO – TBA

THE BETTING

Melbourne $TBA to win Hawthorn $1.00 to win.

THE LAST TIME THEY MET

Hawthorn 15.25.115 defeated Melbourne 6.13.49 in Round 7, 2012 at the MCG

The Hawks managed double the scoring shots while Melbourne's performance, like most of those against this club in particular, was a blight on the game.

THE TEAMS

MELBOURNE

Backs Lynden Dunn James Frawley Dean Terlich
Half backs Jack Watts Cam Pedersen Colin Garland
Centreline Jack Trengove Michael Evans Matt Jones
Half forwards Luke Tapscott Jeremy Howe Rohan Bail
Forwards David Rodan Chris Dawes Aaron Davey
Followers Mark Jamar Jordie McKenzie Nathan Jones
Interchange Jack Fitzpatrick Dean Kent Joel Macdonald James Strauss
Emergencies Daniel Nicholson James Sellar Jake Spencer James Strauss

In Jack Fitzpatrick Dean Kent Joel Macdonald Cam Pedersen David Rodan James Strauss

Out Shannon Byrnes (wrist) Neville Jetta Max Gawn James Magner Daniel Nicholson

HAWTHORN

Backs Ben Stratton Brian Lake Brent Guerra
Half backs Josh Gibson Grant Birchall Sam Mitchell
Centreline Isaac Smith Luke Hodge Liam Shiels
Half forwards Brad Hill Lance Franklin Jordan Lewis
Forwards Paul Puopolo Jarryd Roughead Luke Breust
Followers David Hale Brad Sewell Shaun Burgoyne
Interchange Kyle Cheney Taylor Duryea Sam Grimley Jonathan Simpkin
Emergencies Max Bailey Michael Osborne Shane Savage

In Grant Birchall David Hale

Out Max Bailey Jack Gunston (calf)

Prediction: We will run Buddy into form, Jordan Lewis get blisters from the leather, Luke Hodge to break the bones in his foot from kicking the ball too often and the scoreboard to have not enough zero’s to match the stats for the Hawks….unless they use the zero’s from our side of the ledger!

Hawks by 15 goals…..

Does anyone know if i can still pick up my membership scarf outside the ground today?

Does anyone know if i can still pick up my membership scarf outside the ground today?

probably have a look in the rubbish bins sometime after 1/4 time

probably have a look in the rubbish bins sometime after 1/4 time

I doubt those that would do such an act would have made it to round 10.