How can you do a match report on a game you didn't attend, wasn't televised and was broadcast by a radio station that employs one-eyed hillbillies with a phobia about giving away the names of many of the visiting team's players?

Easy, just quote the media reports on the following day. I'll start with Ashley Porter from the Age.

Youngsters fire up battle of the battlers

Melbourne won by two points but the result wasn't important. It reminded the Demons how to win but the game was about the quality produced by youngsters, which included 13 teenagers overall.

Melbourne fielded nine players yet to play an AFL game and seven with fewer than 20 games experience, including recruits Tom Gillies (Geelong) and Cameron Pedersen (North Melbourne), while Port had eight new players and six with fewer than 20 games experience ...

Porter's report contained one familiar Fairfax clanger of Wilsonesque proportions:-

It was this time last year that Sellar kicked five goals against Collingwood in Dubai and looked set for an outstanding season, but injuries dogged him and he never really lived up to that promise.[/ quote]

There's been some news in recent times about Israeli Mossad agents using fake passports to operate in that part of the world. If I were JS, I'd check the whereabouts of his own travel documents but I would suggest that the closest Melbourne got to Dubai and Collingwood was last year's NAB Cup at Etihad Stadium. The airline that has the naming rights comes out of the United Arab Emirates of which Dubai is the largest city. Anyway, I don't think Sellar played in that game let alone kick five goals.

Porter gave a wrap to Aaron Davey who kicked five goals and kudos to a couple of youngsters:-

The control and tenacity under pressure in the back lines by Troy Davis, 20, drafted in 2010 at No.50 and yet to play an AFL game, was impressive, while Dean Kent, 19, added spark into the forward line.

He called the ruck duel between Jake Spencer and Jarrad Redden a feature of the game which might come as a surprise to those who tuned in to 5AA whose commentators only mentioned the latter in describing the game's ruck contests.

And if you think 5AA was bad for bias, cop this offering from the Andrew Capel in the Adelaide Advertiser:-

Port Adelaide's young guns shine in narrow loss against Melbourne

In South Australia, it seems that, even in practice matches, the spoils go to the loser.

More on the AFL site:-

Super Sellar sees Dees pip Port

Video of the Game:

Q1 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q1

Q2 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q2

Q3 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q3

Q4 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q4

MELBOURNE 0.4.3.27 0.8.5.53 0.9.6.60 0.12.6.78

PORT ADELAIDE 0.2.3.15 0.5.3.33 0.8.4.52 1.10.7.76

Supergoals

Melbourne Nil

Port Adelaide Hartlett

Goals

Melbourne Sellar 5 Davey 3 Kent 2 Evans Tapscott

Port Adelaide Daniel Stewart 3 Hartlett 2 Colquhoun Neade Newton Wingard Young

Best

Melbourne Magner Sellar Jetta Tapscott Evans Sylvia

Port Adelaide Hartlett Wines Mitchell Colquhoun Stevenson Redden

INJURIES

Melbourne Nil

Port Adelaide Nil

Reports Nil

Umpires Fila Hay Haussen

Official crowd 3,754 at Renmark Oval

STATISTICS

Disposals - Melbourne 262 Port Adelaide 302
Kicks - Melbourne 146 Port Adelaide 165
Handballs - Melbourne 116 Port Adelaide 137
Free Kicks - Melbourne 16 Port Adelaide 23
Clearances - Melbourne 32 Port Adelaide 21
Centre - Melbourne 19 Port Adelaide 7
Stoppages - Melbourne 13 Port Adelaide 14
Inside 50 - Melbourne 36 Port Adelaide 40
Marks in 50 - Melbourne 7 Port Adelaide 16
Contested Possessions - Melbourne 104 Port Adelaide 113
Tackles - Melbourne 54 Port Adelaide 45
Hit-Outs - Melbourne 21 Port Adelaide 28

Melbourne [K H M HO T SG.G.B DT]
James Sellar 10 5 7 0 2 0.5.1 101
James Magner 17 7 3 0 7 0.0.0 98
Neville Jetta 8 12 3 0 5 0.0.0 81
Luke Tapscott 6 4 3 0 8 0.1.0 74
Troy Davis 10 6 4 0 1 0.0.0 59
Dean Terlich 9 7 2 0 5 0.0.0 58
Dean Kent 9 1 3 0 2 0.2.1 56
Michael Evans 8 4 3 0 2 0.1.0 55
Aaron Davey 7 3 1 0 2 0.3.0 54
James Strauss 3 8 3 0 5 0.0.0 54
Joel MacDonald 8 11 4 0 1 0.0.0 53
Colin Sylvia 10 4 2 0 3 0.0.0 47
Tom Gillies 6 7 4 0 0 0.0.0 44
Matt Jones 8 7 1 0 3 0.0.0 43
Tom Couch 6 5 1 0 2 0.0.3 42
Josh Tynan 5 6 3 0 1 0.0.0 37
Jake Spencer 1 2 2 20 1 0.0.0 31
Daniel Nicholson 2 2 4 0 2 0.0.0 27
Rory Taggert 3 6 2 0 0 0.0.0 27
Jesse Hogan 4 1 2 0 0 0.0.0 21
Dom Barry 2 4 0 0 1 0.0.0 18
Jack Fitzpatrick 0 3 0 1 1 0.0.0 9
Nathan Stark 2 0 0 0 0 0.0.0 8
Cameron Pedersen 1 1 0 0 0 0.0.0 5

NAB Cup Rd 2 - Quarter by quarter

Extremely low crowd numbers I think. I can see why the AFL want to play in these small towns but surely they need >5000 or so to make it worth it?

The entire population of Renmark is less than 5,000 so its a fair attendance even if you factor in the surrounding districts.

Of course, the fact that the game was broadcast on 5AA probably gave Port Adelaide supporters an excuse to stay home and listen to the game on their crystal sets.

at least we won the lost game , typed with a scewed up face lol

Video of the Game:

Q1 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q1

Q2 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q2

Q3 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q3

Q4 - Full Replay - http://www.melbourne...ort-adelaide-q4