PLEASURE AND PAIN by the Oracle

It's a fine line between pleasure and pain

You've done it once you can do it again

Whatever you done don't' try to explain

It's a fine, fine line between pleasure and pain

It's all the same

It's all the same

It's all the same

- Divinyls "Pleasure and Pain"

Just before the start of yesterday's season finale between Melbourne and Richmond the sound system on the MCG scoreboard was belting out the classic Divinyls hit, "Pleasure and Pain".

The song aptly summed up the sensations felt by the Demon faithful on the day. Those who came expecting a resounding victory to cap off their team's annus horribilis with a face saver were about to feel extreme pain. However, there was another group of fans who gained some pleasure from it's failure to win by a margin of about 15-20 points which would have been sufficient to guide it away from wooden spoon status thereby handing the first pick in the draft to the Eagles who had shown a day earlier that they really wanted this prize very much.

These perverse variations of pleasure and pain are hard to explain but, as Chrissie Amphlett went to great lengths to let us know, in the end, it was all the same. Melbourne finished the season in the same abysmal way that it started, inviting adjectives such as "insipid", "embarrassing"" and "hopeless".

And that was about it. Melbourne sent a team out into battle that basically consisted of those team leaders who were not in hospital or doing rehab in anticipation of next year, a few retiring veterans bidding their fond farewells to the assembled masses and a gaggle of fresh faced youths going through difficult apprenticeships in their chosen profession.

As you would expect from such a diverse combination, they flopped badly against a team that was on song, fully committed and had strong leadership. Despite the frantic efforts of the statisticians who compiled their tables as to what was necessary for Melbourne to rise like Phoenix out of the ashes of the wooden spoon, the result was a foregone conclusion - a Richmond win by plenty.

This was despite the fact that the Demons appeared to be competitive in the first quarter when they trailed by less than a goal at the first break. The fact was however, that even then, they were being smashed in the clearances and appeared to have no answer tactically to the Tigers' game. The best they could do was produce a few individual efforts in a sea of ineptitude - and things got worse as the game wore on.

Full marks go to Colin Sylvia who played at the standard one expects from … well, an AFL footballer even though he was hampered by an ankle injury incurred in the early stages. Matthew Warnock continued his season as the club's most improved by troubling Matthew Richardson into an ordinary performance. Colin Garland and Matthew Whelan worked hard in defence, Simon Buckley, Cameron Bruce and Brad Green were good in patches and Adem Yze, playing under the pain of injury showed flashes of the champion of the past. A forward line - non existent?

In the end, it was a sad end to the careers of a couple of out and out champions in Yze and Jeff White (who at least managed a couple of goals) and a real workhorse in Ben Holland. That these players finished off their careers with a lot of pain and little pleasure to show for the day and for their final season simply emphasises the dimensions of that fine line that separates the two sensations.

Melbourne 2.1.13 3.1.19 4.4.28 6.5.41

Richmond 2.5.17 8.9.57 12.10.82 18.13 .121

Goals

Melbourne White 2 Green Holland Sylvia Whelan

Richmond Deledio 4 Bowden 3 Jackson Riewoldt 2 Connors Foley McMahon Morton Tivendale Tuck White

Best

Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Warnock Yze Green Garland

Richmond Bowden Deledio Tuck Tivendale Newman Foley McGuane White Johnson

Injuries

Melbourne Sylvia (ankle) Petterd (hamstring)

Richmond Nil

Changes

Richmond Pattison (back) replaced in selected side by Connors

Reports Morton (Richmond) and Miller (Melbourne) reported for wrestling each other in the second term.

Umpires Margetts H Ryan Ellis

Crowd 37,046 at the MCG

At least the Mfc coffers would be pleased with a profit thanks to 37,000 in a game that didn't really mean much or have any influence regarding finals.

It would be interesting to draw a comparison between the team that represented us in mid season when we were competitive against Richmond for about 85% of the game and Sunday's match when we were competitive for about 15%.

It would be interesting to draw a comparison between the team that represented us in mid season when we were competitive against Richmond for about 85% of the game and Sunday's match when we were competitive for about 15%.

ROUND 12

Melbourne 5.3.33 6.5.41 11.8.74 14.10.94

Richmond 3.6.24 11.13.79 13.15.93 16.20.116

Backs James McDonald Colin Garland Matthew Warnock

Half backs Brad Green Paul Wheatley Cameron Bruce

Centreline Colin Sylvia Brock McLean Lynden Dunn

Half forwards Jace Bode James Frawley Clint Bartram

Forwards Paul Johnson Brad Miller Austin Wonaeamirri

Followers Jeff White Chris Johnson Nathan Jones

Interchange Matthew Bate Aaron Davey Cale Morton Adem Yze

Emergencies Nathan Carroll Mark Jamar Matthew Whelan

In Aaron Davey James Frawley Chris Johnson

Out Daniel Bell (omitted) Brent Moloney (shoulder) Jared Rivers (groin)