Dr John Dee

I favour the global deletion. Might be good practice for when The Donald takes over.

Sorry, it might look confusing now since another mod has put the vacuum cleaner through the kinds of posts I was referring to.* See above. In any case the key word was 'attitudinising'. I didn't say anything about discussion. * edit: that hadn't happened to the extent I thought. Now it has. This post is now redundant. I hope.

This thread has – for obvious reasons – turned towards Watson's announcement. Repeated attitudinising about ASADA or anything else is the sort of derailing DL has pointed to recently. It will be treated as such from here on.

Forgot to ask, Froggie: did you learn about the Queensland system which used to operate brilliantly by having a minister of the crown living in a local government area (with the small proviso that any developed road usually ended at the minister's gate?

I bloody don't ... I may not be a city slicker anyway but I have the nbn's satellite 'service' (despite having 100% signal strength for fixed wireless, I'm not permitted access to it). Slow when it's working, which happens episodically. Far too systematic, Mr Old.

Agreed. It's a parks and gardens kind of place. There's a Japanese garden which is small but pretty impressive. And a lookout somewhere (can't remember now).

Far be it from me to confirm or deny Mr Biffen's departure given my obligation to abide by moderatorial constraints, but I look forward to the time when he is able to elevate his humour to the level you describe, BBO.

Ah, science: http://www.skynews.com.au/culture/offbeat/2016/09/23/ig-nobels-honour-things--that-make-one-laugh-.html?ref=BP_LINKLIST_features-list_SKY_OFFBEAT_ig-nobels-honour-things--that-make-one-laugh-_260916 I have no doubt that certain of the activities detailed in this thread – BBO's in particular, though not exclusively – can be formalised sufficiently to walk off with one of these awards next year.

Shouldn't that belong to Old Dee, Moonie, since he's turned himself around this year?

While some might question my medical qualifications, Uncle Bitters, they're sufficient to assure you with some confidence that there's no cure for Picket.

John Howard called, Picket. He wants his metaphor back.

Only just, Mr Old.

Mr Old, I found some difficulty in putting a finger on the problem with AzzKikA’s photograph and your offhand dismissal of the potential reactions of right-thinking denizens of these pages. So I contacted the local Banana Growers Federation in Murwillumbah for advice. Their media liaison officer, a Mr Stephen Bent, pointed out that the BGF accepts the following principle: depictions, portrayals or representations – direct or implied – of bananas in such a manner as would not be used in the context of any other fruit (pineapples, oranges, grapes and so on, even the egregious cumquat) are discriminatory and should be avoided. Fortunately Mr Bent regards AzzKika’s transgression as a minor example of the sort of casual fruitism that still pervades the popular media but which is declining with time. The bananarity suggested in the image is modest enough; and the BGF, in any case, has its hands full in dealing with people like Biffin’s mates in the so-called adult industry, where the most outstanding abuses of the reputation of the noble fruit continue to be perpetrated.

Spayed you, Moonie? What were they, part-time vets?

That probably should read [censored] [censored] but I'm in a good mood today since my internet is w

My point exactly BBO. As for the Queensland border ... probably an ambiguity in my comment, actually meant to evoke the accepted truth that civilisation ends there other than has anything to do with what happens on the other side. In the meantime, have discovered that if I balance my mobile on the verandah rail and use it as a hotspot (Telstra vocabulary, in other words as a modem) not only can I read Demonland but I can add to it more or less anytime. A dangerous power, although it depends on the crows not taking off with the phone.

Just down the road? We are the Boonies ... well, we can see the Queensland border from here, so we do feel like we still have some contact with a few vestiges of civilisation even if they're a bit slow in arriving. And maybe it's just me, but I think it's all for the better when things are both whimsical and real.

Some of us are forced to live in shadows that you who bask in the sun of technologically advanced civilisation can know little of, Uncle Bitters. It took me 23.5 minutes earlier today to post a brief and uncontroversial message on another thread and I only seem to have chanced by some glitch in misfortune upon the opportunity to deposit these words here now. Telstra ... 'nuff said. Though I will go on anyway. What passes for an internet in these parts is under normal conditions a joke but for some time now it's been bedevilled (certainly not bedemoned) by some rolling outage thing. The NBN Co (although they've branded themselves nbn co in some sort of – what? – demotic gesture) in their infinite wisdom had Telstra install a fixed wireless broadband tower hereabouts not so long ago. Its reach ends at the bridge over Hopping Dicks Creek, some 500 metres short of our humble cottage. nbn co point out that their remit is to implement government policy, so it's hardly surprising that Mr Harbourside Mansion's haves/have nots understanding of the world should be played out metonymically in the various wakes and eddies of his time in charge of communications. We are now undergoing the indignity of applying for a satellite connection in the hope of some sort of regularity, but the contract is so thoroughly hedged by conditions about access and speeds that I fear we are only entering one of those English country estate mazes. In the meantime I will continue to lapse into inevitable and probably prolonged silences. Most here may entirely approve of that. At least we have bananas.

That’s all well and good, Ernie, but how about telling us where that last, great unpublished manuscript of yours is. We could make a fortune out of it, enough to keep all the ratbags (as you call them and who am I to disagree?) on this thread in bananas until MFC finally wins a flag. Presumably it’ll need a bit of updating for publication in these strange times. I’d suggest you let Biffen loose on it to toughen up the language (you’ve been getting just a bit too sentimental in your old age if your posts here are any guide). And BBO will obviously be able to provide plenty of advice about those things you might not be so familiar with in terms of modern … err, relationships, for want of a better word. I’m happy to volunteer as a pale imitation of Max Perkins if required (for a healthy fee, obviously) but I think those two should sort out most of the issues for you.

At least we know now that he doesn't like to go commando, Mable. Probably too much information.

That Payet fee kick! Preposterous. Hope the Hammers make the FA Cup final so he can do something like that again on the big stage. Arsenal have worked out how to win again but I suspect it's probably too late. The extent of their ambition will now be to get past Spurs ... for which they might also be too late.

Services rather than products, Mable, but let's not go into too much detail.

Should someone warn BBO Ethan about shonky online traders?

Sounds painful.

A question of whether I'm overestimating or you're underestimating, Mr Shadow. Of course I'd like to think Uncle Bitters would confine himself to the techniques of correction he's familiar with, but I can't help but worry that one way or another he'll get ahead of himself. Then there'd be two of him, a situation surely to be feared.