Biffen

I've been banned from using electronic devices ProDee. I won't go into it too much . Let's just say I've been a very naughty boy.

Can we agree to keep it a family secret rather than lock it away in the cellar forever?

With a tennis ball on the Freeway .

Flat track bullies.

We were THAT bad. Count your blessings we ain't now.

I'd rather have herpes than have Nicholls umpire us again. At least with herpes you can inflict it on somebody who makes bad decisions.

I'm not sure if we need Lever to pull or lift.

At the Ritz -Carlton in Paris in the company of some Ukrainian hostesses.

Then you've never been there. It is magnificent.

Thrashed 'em

We nearly got to sign Tampax but the market was already saturated.

i only visit King for charismatic nuance with women. Apparently he charmed Kelly Stevens.

I've been banned for 2-3 weeks and now ,after reading this, i know why.. Very few you are worthy of my genius. You are all worthless and weak.

The last time I saw him on Fitzroy street we had a bit of a scuffle. I hope he learnt his lesson. Stay off my turf Ron. This is my last warning. I don't fight Octagenerians fair.

that deserves a mild titter.Political comedy never gets any recognition.

You have a right to kill me -you have a right to do that.... But you have no right to judge me.

I watched a snail crawling along the edge of a straight razor, that's my dream.

I just get my girlfriends to pay for everything #Bitchcoin

AKA 30 Slabs.

Can you explain that one please Moonshadow. Is it a moral tale?

Is that you Kate?

Sorry- wrong sex object.

Who could forget the sexual chemistry between Carmen Lawrence and Gareth-Gareth Evans.Just thinking about it makes me want to go and balance my books.

Scientists have discovered that the galaxy contains not just one giant black hole ,but a whole series of black holes ,much like those to be found in Robbos liver and brain. When Robbo saw his career counsellor after failing year 9 English ,she advised him that he would never make it as a forklift driver, which involves remaining sober for part of the day ,so he fell into a career as a Sports writer at The Herald Sun. From there he learnt to mangle the English language into his own creation ,using neither nouns nor verbs, but instead nicknames, as a substitute for context and meaning in sentences.The very mention of a popular or successful players' moniker gives the reader/listener both the subject matter and a hint at Robbos intimate knowledge of the game/player itself. After 5 failed marriages, Robbo has decided to give up searching for love on Filipino Brides.com and dedicate himself solely to AFL coverage and beer.When Robbo is not pursuing his only two passions, he sleeps in the janitors closet so as to be awoken at 9am ,fresh for work, by his trusty friend and ally Rajesh ,who sometimes lets Robbo borrow his Glen 20 as a deodorant substitute and will reluctantly lend him a jacket for TV appearances. Despite failing mental health and declining personal hygiene Robbo has built a fan base of 16 dedicated bar flies who have steadfastly attempted to listen to his rambling oratory and miscellaneous observations on beer nuts,bosoms and what great bloke James Hird is.Closing time is cited as Robbos deepest regret in life,one that constantly comes back to haunt him as he regales his followers with story after story after story after story.....Usually the same one repeated. Robbo has enjoyed all the fruits of a life in the media and has invested wisely over the years to prepare for his inevitable forced early retirement.He is rumoured to have shares in a Nigerian Oil syndicate backed by a large conglomeration of African Royalty ,which are expected to pay off handsomely after maturation.He is also alleged to have invested in Chemical production facilities that stretch along the Eastern seaboard from Lara to the Gold Coast with his "mate" Bomber. With his business acumen and his bloodhound -like ability to both smell a good story and smell like a bloodhound ,Robbo has excelled at making numerous friends across the country ,friends who are so busy and successful they never have time to answer their phones nor reply to his misspelt messages but that is the rarified oxygen he steals. He is truly a one-off.And an off-one at that.

Jerry or Josef.