Biffen

Will give Chris Dawes a chance to prove he is worth the cash until Mitch returns to stomps on Skulls .

Brundun Maccullum ( Noo Zulland) Corriction:Brendon McCullum (NZ)

Clearly not. I have just downed a bottle of 2009 Pinot ,some steak and some salad and spuds . My four year old is asking lots of "why" ,"but why" questions. I make up my favourite answers. I find that more satisfying than meeting up with my new found twitter mates . B)

My wife bought that book and hasn't wanted a bar of me since. I've been using the buit up sexual tension to have juvenile arguments with Stu. I picture myself pouring hot wax all over him and then getting BBO to whip him Red and Blue. Sloonie then comes in and [censored] Slaps him till he finally shuts the frick up. It's not perfect ,but it gets me through.

Never heard of it.

Ishant Sharma (The Far East)

Final correction. GF day.

Sorry guys -Thanks for your patience . Staurt Broad.(Blighty)

Pele. When you've kicked as many goals as him and you live in Brazil, they would be mandatory. Mick Jagger gives them a nudge too I'd reckon.

This thread proudly brought to you by Pfizer. Keeping old bananas firm for another generation.

Need wickets , Need a Zaffer soon. Uum... er James Pattinson (Player of the Ashes)

Was hoping to spark an anti-agist tirade but you've all gone to bed .

Guys, this isn't frickin Florida. Save your medical issues for the hospital staff. Grin and bear it like the old bastards of old. FFS-you all used to be so happy.In your misery. This thread is becoming like gods waiting room. I'm declaring a cultural revolution . This thread, nay forum, has become a haven for geriatric middle to upper class men discussing their ailments and their bowel movements on a nightly basis. I, for one, am disgusted by the continuous, phallic references to bananas and viagra. As a feminist, I would like the thread closed immediately.

I think you brought up the triple century very stylishly . Nice innings.

Are you on a bender?

happiness is a middle class obsession . This thread will never last . it's full of sin and diversion from the one true calling .

I quite liked the poem. The juxtaposition of warring fruit and the descent of mankind . The loss of innocence ,yet still told in an iconic bush balladeer format concealing weighty ideas. BBO ,whilst proficient in modern banter and it's rythmic nuances, has re-invented a traditional metier and given it a new timbre. 4 stars.

Mahela Jayawardene. (Ceylon)

Your contribution is as sincere and refreshing as they come . Theres nothing to understand. It's a thread about Bananas and nothings. As far as i can tell. But i am often wrong .

Call DHS and get custody-accuse the parents of drug abuse or something and the kid is yours .

Nice one, Hope the buffet is not too soggy after writing that piece. Did you take extra money for the cost of living up there? Is it breakfast, papers, exercise, lunch, matinee show ,nap , dinner, show, cocktails, bed or have I got the order wrong.

David Warner (Australia)

HT didn't stipulate eras.

Ian Botham Don Bradman Barry Richards Sachin Wasim Hadlee Sobers Sangakarra Warne Holding Murilitharan

In Vino Veritas. You'll notice us demons put the sanguine drop ahead of the fodder.