Very Jaded

I said he was my big improver for 2016, and I'm glad he proved me right. For such a slight frame, he isn't afraid to go hard. He always finds time and space, and gees he can use it. Reminds me of Watts in terms of footy smarts and ball use. Massive upside too.

Season is basically done. We are going into the 4 hardest weeks of the season without arguably our best player. Good times.

Don't get me started on this [censored] home game at Etihad against a team that plays all their home games at Etihad, thus having a complete advantage. Awesome work by the AFL yet again.

Kid probably tackled his own placenta on the way out. Had 3 weeks off for rough conduct.

The consequence of a doctor breaking the rules are slightly more severe than players taking banned substances. And even then it is nearly impossible to get a doctor banned for life from the profession. Murderers don't even get life sentences here. To say that players should be banned for life is very harsh given it was a club driven program

Stop it. I am having so much FOMO right now. Round 1 is going to be exciting. Goosebump stuff if/when Trenners returns to the field.

The face of a 10 year old, the body of a 30 year old who spends his weekdays pumping iron and his weekends sinking [censored]. Confusing all around. His highlight package though is pretty phenomenal.

All these kids look 12 to me. Also now I'm going to spend the next 6 months trying to learn how to spell Sam's surname correctly #draftstruggles #firstworldfootyproblems

Welcome Sam. Hope you don't mind sharing the limelight with some kid named Jesse May your love blossom for one another and may your date nights involve decapitating key position defenders together.

Welcome to Melbourne Clayton I look forward to 10 years of Oliver vs Parish threads Buckle up kid, and whatever you do stay away from Demonland

I hope my royalty cheque is in the mail!

If his recruitment alone makes Salem a better player and a midfielder, it was worth it. I rate Salem only behind Hogan & Brayshaw for talent* *Apologies to Petracca- waiting to see him in action

I don't really know how to describe how I feel about this deal. This just about sums it up

My Essendon friend just laughed at me over the trade. It's been a long time since he's had any reason to laugh. I don't like it.

Clark has been a bust, but we were criminally screwed in that trade given Clark's potential ceiling. He came with high risk, high reward factor. Lumumba has also been a massive disappointment. He was a low risk low reward.

I read the first 6 words and nearly vomited Salem to play midfield. Salem NOT moving anywhere. Phew!

I also love that Jack Viney is not Cale Morton

So what happens if he gets banned by WADA?

Oh Essendon, the drugs have really gone to your head I'll throw in Dean Terlich to sweeten the deal! The funniest thing about all this, is one of my best mates is a die hard Essendon supporter. When the rumour of this broke, he texted me, and I quote: "Melksham- will trade for a stale packet of salt & vinegar chips. Will bring his own footy".

This better not be the highlight of trade week. Because so far, I'm so underwhelmed I could vomit.

Good god. So many terrible repressed draft memories flooding back!

Surprised they haven't asked for McDonald, Hogan and Brayshaw in return given their trade history 3rd round pick or GTFO!

Well if Melksham is given a 4 year deal, then I'm surprised Howe hasn't asked for 8, and Hogan for eternity!

Obviously Todd Viney read it, choked on his steak and called to get a retraction.