Bitter but optimistic

That's nothing compared to what the blue rinsers who chance into in the humble hamlet of Borewood are likely to suffer.

Stuie doing selfies ?

Correct dpos - you are incorrect. I have no doubt the good Earl was there to do some serious plundering of the natives!! What is the reason for a title otherwise?

What a grubby lot you are!! I am trying to support our good friend the Earl and this smutty and thoughless response is all I get. Disgraceful!! And positively no Special ... you cannot ride in the Merc!!

Now listen everybody while there is a quiet moment. I have it on very good authority ( a tradey I frequently employ who is shagging one of Earl Hood's maids). Apparently everyone in the Earl's household is walking on eggshells. The Earl is beside himself that he did not get a sniff in the Australia Day Awards. Now I'm sure he will crack tough. but this combined with the reversals from his Cuban adventure could push him over the edge. We all know what the aristocracy (tories) can do in these circumstances! Fishnet stockings, garter belt, a rope and hope for a happy ending!!!

BTW I'm sure you will all have noted Biffen's extended absence from Dland. Well really I suppose no one GAF!! However, it has not been possible to contact him of late and I hold grave fears!!

It would be a personality implant Moon.

Two clever comments in 3 days Fl ogg er! The world as I know seems to be leaving me behind!

Surely Earl Hood, your circumstances are not so reduced that you cannot afford a new cook?

That's the spirit!!

Very funny Fl ogg er!! As a reward, I shall be kind to you for the rest of today.

It's a Breville, but otherwise and in all modesty, I agree with you Red.

No shame in that pineapple - I'm a better man than most. Just imagine if I started one of those tweetering accounts!! Lord only knows how many followers I'd attract!!

Well.... there is one thing OD and repairing the coffee machine has vastly improved the likelihood of that occurring!!! (there are however, no certainties)

Have you lost your marbles Red!! A fellow could get a jolly good flogging for getting out of step as it were. In any event, my stocks are very high atm!! Good old bitters the handyman managed to repair the squeeze's precious coffee machine!

Yes ..well thank you Red. However, at the moment I realize that it is my credit card I need to keep a better grip on. The squeeze just announced she has booked a weekend in Cantberra for us. Apparently there is a display of pictures by some fellow Robert or Roberts who draws sheep and shearing sheds!! FMD. I hope it's not Special Robert!!

Hope you kept in ..eerrr step during the Anniversary Waltz the other night Red.

Thank you Earl Hood, it is only right that we of the well bred class support each other. I understand though that your buccaneering adventures in the Caribbean and subsequent dabbling in banana futures has left you in a state of penury. Under those circumstances I fear your "competitive" rates maybe beyond me. Moonie, I suggest you stick to your usual haunts for your voyeuristic habits and concomitant snowdropping ie your neighbours. Correct.

Surely my old mate would be more of the Creationist or Bible Basher variety dc.

We'll be able to join you at Sunday Service Stu.

You present a very delicate problem Dr. at a time when my self confidence as a counsellor is under threat. I mean, it is quite humiliating to be labelled a “dirt pervert” while merely attempting to carry out one’s professional duties. (It seems I am dogged by misunderstandings) Firstly though, I must admonish you Dr, in that you appear to have brought the problem upon your own head by ignoring the golden rule of never trusting anyone with your ute, your dog or your wife. That said, I do sympathise with you Dr and will do my bit. However, I prefer not to fumble in the dark and require a closer feeling for the issue. Therefore, with this in mind, it would be best if you sent your missus down to Romsey Manor for some direct one on one attention from Counsellor Bitters. Rest assured, I will be vigorous in my efforts to get to the root of the matter.

Only the wine dc ... only the wine. Anyway it was largely an unfortunate misunderstanding.Blown out of all proportion really.

You are far too modest in detailing your excesses achievements Dr. Perhaps some of your err.. shall we say libertine accomplishments could be expounded upon. I believe you were a pioneer of the practice of being, how shall I put it delicately, "generous" with your spouse? Which I suppose explains why you do not have the time to burn effigies etc on New Years Eve. As to my visit - obviously much will depend upon your explanation re the above. Also, I note your generosity but I prefer to bring my own apparatus when visiting.

Sheltered Workshop?

There is a "tell all' article in today's Age featuring our very own Dr. John Dee. That fact that our good Doctor is famous for being an alchemist and conjurer explains much. I have cancelled my planned visit to Hopping Dick's Creek.