Bitter but optimistic

I can't condemn the fellow dc. It's a pheromonal environment. Sweat, spandex - anything can happen - even misunderstandings. I mean .. I've been there ... enough said.

Possibly dc. Maybe he just had an emotional moment.

I think you mean "blue rinsers" Moonie. Dc does the rising.

Ok fair enough I suppose dc. It's just that I've been banned from gyms for "misunderstandings". It's a touchy matter with me.

What's odd about that?

The establishments that Biffen frequents don't have dunny lids bb.

Be careful in what you wish for Jack. While I am certainly of genteel ilk and OD is probably acceptable (despite seeming to prefer Pinot to Shiraz) Biffen is another matter. Biffen would consider munching a Big Mac while sitting on the dunny as "classy" eating.

My tastes can be described as .... well .... "eclectic" skinny.

Demonland is, without doubt, the best place in Australia for sauces.

To be fair Luci, I don't think their "package" should have anything to do with the deal.

Well I've known a few rug biters over the years.

BERBER! BERBER! My god you're an oafish fellow Biffen!!! "Come on dear let's go and have a berber" [censored] me, that would win a lot of hearts. NOT!

Is that what you call a shag pile Biff?

Well you've been a dieter for years - I figured it must be working.

Well Skinny, they are certainly bucket list destinations for a visit but I wouldn't want to live there. Too much salt. It would play havoc with my blood pressure.

Thanks for your "support" dc. However, I must set the record straight. I am longer in that esteemed profession - I am a gentleman of retirement. Actually it was a misunderstanding surrounding the corporal punishment matter that lead to it. I thought that young female teacher deserved a jolly good spanking.... err ....... anyway best leave that story. Unfortunately, despite his exertions, "Special" wont be admitted. Security have specific instructions to keep persons of poverty away from The Manor.

I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week. Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me AND The tinea has returned FMD it's a cruel world. And ...what's more ................ I discovered today that some D'landers actually have the temerity to have me on ignore.

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

I reckon you will be AF. The key difference is about 200mm!

Schoolboy humour dc _ that's all ive got. Well ... plus some whips .. and some decent rattans I suppose ... and of course specialist apparatus .... and well .... arrh sometimes I'm such a shallow person. Time to open another red!

That could be useful.

Of course dc, however, I also understand you have a penchant for well ripened, some might say overripe fruit. Arrh well .... far be it from me to cast nasturtiums!!!

Don't know about od but I'm rather partial to a sweet little peach on occasion.

A "rainbow" ...............mmmmm. Since an unfortunate incident with some females the lads have been banned from shows so they have led something of a monastic lifestyle. I suppose such situations could give rise to ....err .. ambidextrism. In a blokey and wholesome way off course.

A very vulgar post dc. One does not round up alpacas. One addresses them by name and requests their attendance. BTW. Collective noun for alpacas is a herd but some of them find this offensive due to its bovine connotations.