Little Goffy

To be fair, a lot of that is players recovering from old injuries or conservatively managing 'hamstring awareness' in Gawn's case.

Bowey is a terrible blow but we've all seen what he can do when coming into the team late in the season.

Any mention of concussion, especially for a young player, makes my skin crawl but on the other hand just a few seasons ago a knock like that would barely have been mentioned and he'd be back at it with only marginal precaution. It's a bit like [censored] statistics going up dramatically when they actually get reported properly - there wasn't an increase, it is just that we are noticing them now and responding.

Touch wood and wash your mouth out, but we shouldn't be crying about our injury list at this stage.

I'll be watching intently to be reassured that the new regime embraces the long-term view of injury management. Not just conservative timelines - I'll echo other people's comments on the training thread in saying I'd be more than happy to see players doing their own 'in-season pre-season' to build up fitness before being returned to the side from long layoffs.

Hmm, I wonder how our team has changed for 2026 since the disappointment of 2025.

I think we've hugely boosted our leadership depth in direct contrast to a couple of stars who were more 'consumers' than 'producers' in that area.

The thing I'll be particularly interested in for '26 is how a bunch of currently mid-level players respond to being out of the shadows.

Consider;

Midfield Sparrow and Rivers

Forward line Van Rooyen and Chandler

Defence Petty and Turner.

We may even see a little refreshment from the likes of Salem, Fritsch, Langdon and Lever who are all just young enough to believe that if they help push the rejuvenation through then they can still have one more run at the top.

I put the case to you - that is nine players (not including Turner) we could say were meaningfully short of their best form in 2025. Seven of those were premiership Demons, no less.

Absolutely beyond doubt we can attribute our string of close losses and bed-wetting quarters to the lack of assurance which should have been provided by these experienced players.

It's a bigger variable for 2026 than even the progress of the kids.

I miss Melbourne so much sometimes.

I'm seriously considering pushing my end of year plans forward a week just to add this to the schedule.

Picturing a Demonstone quiz live. A Ghosty hug booth. Picket Fence giving 'summer slithera safety' training while wearing a guernsey with Clarrie's number and name still on it. And all the Demonland mods getting soused on fine wine and absolutely mouthing off with the details of every scandal ever because they can't be sued for ranting in a park.

And if you like, there'd even been a big area where people eat their snags and speculate merrily about whatever comes up.

And any time there's a lull, the Ashes will be there, doing it's sacred duty.

It's all a bit silly.

Campbell, McAdam, Johnson, Henderson all drop out of the numbers without affecting our starting team. But pick out best 4 veterans and toss them out, we are completely knotted.

Do that with Collingwood and ... as I noted the other day, they have more people in their top-10 best and fairest aged 33 and over than 23 and under. That's a struggle.

On the other hand, with Brisbane if you tighten it to best 22 and they still go alright, with Ashcroft, Ashcroft, Marhsall, Morris, Fletcher, Wilmot and Lohman all 22 and under. Thanks to an epic run of father-sons Brisbane were able to get the proverbial sit and push up another level. Their Ashcroft bounty was a bit like the timely injection of Selwood or Rioli, or indeed our Jackson-Pickett-Rivers draft which lifted us.

Brisbane also provide the highlight of how silly an age profile is for predicting the future; if you can bring in a steady stream of good draftees and elite 26 year old players and leaders from other clubs, who cares?

I'm picturing Steven King and Jason Taylor doing a promo where Steven says what set he wants and Taylor figures out which pieces of Lego are need to make it and calls them out individually.

"Pick one. White brick, six dimples."

Yeah, nah.

There's nothing to it but a list of every gripe and negative media spot from roughly 2017-2025, bookended by a bit of 'oooh here's a self-help book for sports people' and an astute comment from Chris Fagan about the importance of preventing a sense of entitlement creeping in after a premiership.

It's just breadcrumbing, and did not have any new information or insight. Exactly the same content in the same order could be rescripted to create a video of 'How Melbourne's dynasty was stolen by the white ants'. Neither, of course, would have much merit.

I'm a bit annoyed about the 45 minutes of my life that consumed. (I run youtube at 1.25 speed, ever since I noticed it made Gerard Healy sound normalish)

If Ghosty forgives, then I can forgive.

But he's still a Freo player with a bad haircut and funny ears and his eyes are too far apart.

He looks like someone mis-clicked when they were creating a character in a computer game.

Oh, come on, everything means that in Scotland.

1 hour ago, Demonstone said:

If he was bowling, no umpire would be game to turn down an appeal.

"I'm doing cricket a favour, mate."

6 minutes ago, Demonstone said:

'Known for his aggressive opening style'.

I relied on AFL Tables for the list of names as it is definitely the most complete publicly available list (After all it had our friend Mr Frood!) and is reasonably easy to navigate. To simplify the process I only used current players for the team and checked to be sure there was nobody alphabetically adjacent.

Along the way I discovered some interesting trivia, as I was also considering making a team where every name could produce it's own starting 18. There are even a few names which could assemble a best 22 AND reserve 22.

There are six 'Mc' prefix names which could form their own team - McCarthy, McDonald, McGrath, McKenzie, McLean, McMahon. But even so, just from current players there are at least three unique 'Mc's - Hugh McCluggage, Beau McCreery and Daniel McStay.

Anyway, reviewing the clues... one moment...

• Has become more common in recent decades is simple enough in hindsight, an effect of waves of migration and the inexorable spread of the hyphenated name.

• What they have in common they also do not have in common and "The individually unique is the collectively unbiquitous!"

• A collection of Demon names, rated for surprise level. And then Geoff Frood. Mr Frood, aside from being a cool dude who knows where his towel is, has the kind of name that might make people thing 'wow, that's an unusual name. Slartibartfast never played Australian football at a senior level, unfortunately.

• Reacting to Demonstone's Demonwiki dive - Margitich no surprise... and each Jakovich not being eligible because of his brother was because there are no other Jakovichs. Jakoviches? Jakovichii?

• I would be eligible, and so is Andrew Gaff, who I don't like because if you touch a Brayshaw you are my enemy.

• Neitz and Ditterich I was just throwing in some more uniquely named players, while Green, Jones and McDonald were announced as 'especially not eligible' as they were in the 'can form a starting 18' list.

• Flower, like Jakovich, would have been eligible for the team if not for his brother Tom. That there's only two Flowers in the entire AFL list is quite mind boggling!

• I told demon-4-life "At this stage you are both the first and the last. Maybe you should be on the team?" as a reference to his uniqueness at the time.

So, congratulations to @demon-4-life and @poita for being the only people who could see the trees for the forest!

And thanks to Matthew Jefferson for being a red herring that would turn away another red herring. I'm still amazed. Jefferson is like the name AI would give to a generic anglo male character in a novel. Actually... hmm, at a staggering 50 players and first in alphabetical order for the 'can form their own team' list, AI would probably choose... (gasps)

Righto, here we go. It is shockingly simple.

Every player in the team has a unique surname for an AFL player.

Yep.

Sorry.

I think we'll go all right in 2026. The whole new broom thing. The change of coach allowed a moment where we could remove two players who, for all their merits, weren't cogs in the machine that we were trying to transition to.

It is interesting to think that part of King's appeal is that his overall plan for our way to play is very close to what Goodwin and the team were working towards already. King has just been able to come in without the baggage and with a mandate to make the brutal changes needed.

Nil predictability for 2026 Demons.

On the other hand, you have to laugh at Essendon's mark being 10 wins. "Just keep being what you have been for the last nine seasons, we all love it."

Collingwood's mark being a grand final is presumably on the basis that it is 'win or bust' for them. When your best and fairest top 10 has more players over 33 than under 23...

I'm stunned that anyone thinks merely 'avoiding the bottom 4' is good enough for North Melbourne. Alistair Clarkson has barely outperformed Mark Neeld despite coming in with as much authority and credibility as any coach could hope for, and a mandate to do whatever he felt necessary to turn things around. Maybe I just don't like Alistair Clarkson? Who knows.

We have another winner!

@poita has threaded the needle and his prize will be to select any player named Brown to be returned from history and added to the Demons list as a Category Pi rookie.

I'm going to put the answer out for everyone at 3 o'clock. The agony must end.

@Timothy Reddan-A'Blew is going to absolutely spew because he did everything short of describe the answer without being able to grasp it.

1 hour ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

Ergo, Viney x 2, Lyon, Healy and Flower are also not eligible?

Correct. Although Flower was surprisingly close - I believe, like Jakovich, he can blame his own brother for exclusion.

21 minutes ago, demon-4-life said:

I may be first. But it won’t LAST

At this stage you are both the first and the last. Maybe you should be on the team?

One last clue and I promise to put this to bed this afternoon if everyone else promises to record themselves going 'What? JEFFERSON?"

Max Gawn is in the team and is the first eligible Demon Captain since David Neitz, and before that all the way back to Ditterich. On the other hand, Green, Jones and McDonald are each about as far from eligible as it is possible to be.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

@demon-4-life comes through with the breakthrough.

He also got there just moments before the Allen Jakovich clue was given so gets to feel extra smart.

As reward he gets his choice of any past or present player named Smith to revive and add to the Demon's 2026 list.

Since Allen Jakovich came into the conversation, it could be a powerful clue to mention that Allen has yes another thing to blame on his brother - if not for Glen he would be on this team for sure!

Of course, like most brotherly quarrels Glen might say the same thing right back at him.

58 minutes ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

It's curious that no one has cracked it (as opposed to cracked it, as I think we all have done or are about to do!) I hope we're not going to find there's been some flaw or transgression in your construction or clueing @Little Goffy. It's been too much 'fun' for it to come to that end!

I'm getting pretty anxious about it, to be honest. But I swear I double checked them all.

8 hours ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

'Common' isn't a tricky word. So, unless the team all live in different English villages, each having community open green spaces, DG's clues, having 'common' in common, mean 'the feature' is something they players are/do/have that is the same but they each are/do/have their own, yes?

Consider the gauntlet thrown, LG!

3 hours ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

@Little Goffy, is there anything you can share with us that supports your contention in your OP that this is 'so obvious'?

The worst you could do is finally make it just that.

When that gauntlet was thrown, I saw it flying directly at me and thought I was about to get smacked in the face with an answer, but no, somehow it sank... soooo... close...

In this team, indeed the uncommon thing is the thing they have in common, though as you say they do not have it in common with each other. The individually unique is the collectively unbiquitous! But the confusion of the inclusion of Jefferson may be iniquitous!

Oh, also, were I to play at AFL level, I would in fact be eligible, though only by the narrowest shave to another who, it turns out, could also be on the team. But I don't like him even though he grew up as a Melbourne supporter.

I've only got one more clue coming, and if that doesn't give it away it is every man for himself and each to their own.

In a wild coincidence, George Margitich is also eligible. I checked only when he was mentioned here but I was not at all surprised.

Quite something to see a player kick 267 goals in just 5 seasons, at over 3.5 goals a game. Perhaps a precursor to the fabulous Allen Jakovich, who is definitely not in the team.

Time for a close to home clue. There are a few more 2025 Demons who are eligible from the current team but really it is quite a surprise for each one;

I was straight-up shocked that Christian Salem, Bailey Laurie and Harrison Petty were in.

Judd McVee is in but that's probably a lie anyway, and Jai Culley I was also a bit surprised to see.

Kolytn Tholstrup... actually not so much a surprise.

Historically, I found a 1-game Demon (Fuschia?) from 1930 who was eligible and I just have to give him a nod because the poor guy kicked two goals in a team thrashed by then powerhouse Richmond, but still didn't get another call up. So raise a glass to;

Geoff Frood.

Righto, I am surprised that people are stumped, but I guess it is a case of 'if you know the answer, the pattern is clear'. Time for another clue. Perhaps a very helpful one.

What they have in common they also do not have in common!

2 hours ago, deemoralizing67 said:

can I get a hint? absolutely no idea. only idea is missed a whole season but that cant be right

Whole season missed is something I tried to skew towards to confuse people, so for removing a distraction the reward shall be a clue!

The shared feature is something which (without grinding statistics) I'd say has become more common in recent decades, but is still far from normal.

Well, here goes. This one is so obvious I made a point of finding as many other things the players have in common as possible, just to cause some confusion.

That said, I was absolutely amazed to discover some of these players were eligible. Even as I was posting the final 22, I was going back to check muttering "Really? Him? Really?"

All of these players were playing in 2025. It is an extraordinary team which would crush all before it. So why is Matthew Jefferson there? Is he a red herring? Harrison Petty would also be eligible and is a 'ranga' which would make him a Red Harry, and almost as surprising an inclusion as Jefferson. Bailey Laurie is also apparently eligible but I simply refuse to believe it and nobody sensible would.

So, what is it that binds this incredibly powerful best 22 together?

As always, answers in PMs. Unless you have checked and they are definitely wrong in which case blurt on the thread to vent your rage.