Emerald

If I didn't have to work this week,I would go down to Gosch's and give Roos and the players a spray.

I'm not joking when I say the local under 16's up the road from me have better skills than most Melbourne players.

I was so close to going today,looks like I made the right decision.

I think Tyson is on drugs,and I don't mean the performance enhancing kind.

A 50 for squirting water? AFL is now officially a girls game.

Six games played in Melbourne on a Saturday afternoon used to work well.

Pencil me in for a subscription if we win on Sunday McQueen.As for the mail order,that was only if we didn't beat the Bears so I'm off the hook which suits me as the last Asian girl I dated kept taking me to temples to have demons exorcised from her body(true story).The only demons I want in my life are the 22 that break my heart on weekends.

Convert to Lumumbaism as my new religion.

I'm happy that we won.I am also happy that I didn't go to the G today to watch such an ugly game of football.

Even if we have our usual 3rd quarter meltdown,I still can't see us losing to this sh*ty Brisbane side.

JKH is lucky that Brisbane is as bad as he is.

If they keep this up for another 3 quarters,I will forgive them for last week.

Being on Demonland is a meditation for me,the perpetual misery of being a Melbourne supporter and pictures of pretty asian women give me the full spectrum of life to observe.

If we don't win I'll click on the Asian dating ad that keeps appearing here and get myself a mail order bride.You guys can keep the slappers.

Cutlery: wooden spoons

We could get half a Buddy for that kind of money.

He wont be safe from us if he coaches a losing side.

Will let BBO give me a flogging.It can't hurt anymore than watching Melbourne lose every week.

I just lost my appetite.

I popped in to training this morning,Pedo was just doing some light jogging with a brace on his wrist.

You have to admire the Hawks for looking to outer space and recruiting giant aliens instead of our usual channels like Brighton Grammar.

1. My great uncle Artie Cambridge played 2 games for Melbourne in 1922.My dad followed Melbourne for that reason.My mum is a Hawthorn supporter and when I was about 2 or 3 years old she decided to knit me a footy scarf and asked me what colours I wanted,red and blue or brown and yellow? Back then I obviously had the good fashion taste to reject the poo and wee colours.Even though that decision has caused me much pain and suffering over the years,I do not regret it. 2. Robbie,the only time I cried when a footballer passed was his last year,I'm still gutted now. 3. Seeing Robbie win the Elimination final in 1987. 4. Preliminary final 1987,I still have not got over it. 5. Despite everything I still love the red and blue.

When are we playing at Etihad next? At least there I can get close enough to throw my membership card at Howe's general direction as he walks off the ground.

You and the other 500 Melbourne supporters with devastated looks on their faces that couldn't handle the smug celebrations of the drugs supporters.

I usually try to stay positive but Dunn not running for the ball in the last few seconds of the 3rd quarter made me feel physically ill.I'm gutted we lost that one,I never leave until the end but today I was the first one to walk out of the MCG after the final siren.