Demonland

Bowey looks the goods.

Is it wet? We look fumbly.

This weekend, the Melbourne Football Club was supposed to embark on a tour that started with what looked like an innocent trip to the country’s sunny Gold Coast. However, the Covid19 pandemic intervened to bring them back home for this week at least. Next week, it’s off to the West Coast but conspiracy theorists are already suggesting that this interstate sojourn could take the team all the way across the country over the next month and indeed, there are cynics who even believe that it could become a fully-fledged world tour that will take them far beyond Darwin and our northern borders and all the way to Japan for the 2020 Olympics! Of course, as much as that suggestion sounds fanciful and far-fetched, it can’t be entirely ruled out in this era of rumour, innuendo and conspiracy theories. With the Demons going through a bit of a slump in recent weeks, nothing could be better than a change of scenery and an alteration to the mix. This is considered necessary because, despite the team's success early in the season, it seems to have dried up in terms of inspiration over the past month or so. Even if the Demons don’t make it physically to Tokyo, they should at least adopt the Olympic motto of “faster, higher, stronger and kick the bloody thing straight” in the lead up to the finals! This week, Melbourne has at least done something to adapt to the Olympic spirit engendered by the Aussies by bringing in some new blood at long last. While the Demons have been assisted in their 2021 campaign by the fact that their playing list has remained relatively healthy, there has been a down-side in the sameness and familiarity has led to some of the players starting to look tired and stale. The introduction of Jake Bowey, a live wire small with silky kicking skills, is just the tonic needed by the club. I’m expecting him to make an instant impression in much the same way as the introduction of Ariarne Titmus and Zac Stubblety-Cook have had on the Aussie swimming team. Swimming Australia’s performance consultant Jeremy Hickmans, a former NRL coach, has described Titmus as being as tough as any NRL player and in similar vein, nobody should underestimate Bowey’s approach to the game and what he can bring to the team. Earlier in the week it was reported that coach Simon Goodwin had “subtly” introduced more goal kicking at training. It didn’t escape my notice that the word “subtly” sounds very much like our new Olympic champion’s surname or at least half of it. And that’s certainly been half of the problem of late since round 12 during which time the Demons have ranked last for goal kicking accuracy at a rate of just 37.5 per cent. Straighten that issue up and you don’t lose or draw games; instead you go directly to the podium to collect gold. I’m therefore suggesting a slight tweaking of names for our forwards this week and predicting that players of the calibre of Ben Stubblety-Brown, Tom Stubblety-McDonald, Bayley Stubblety-Fritsch and of course Alex Stubblety-Neal-Bullen will get their kicking mojos back and put the team back on course in the same way that Jess Fox did in her C-1 event at the Kasai Canoe Slalom Centre. I’m not ignoring the Gold Coast Suns in all of this but let’s face it, they’re in heaps of trouble after losing Oleg Markov to a hamstring injury this week. The former Tiger and son of Olympian and World Champion pole vaulter Dmitri was an important cog in his team’s campaign for this Olympiad and he will be sorely missed coming off the back of his team’s disappointing 49-point loss to the Lions. The Demons will still have to keep an eye on the dangerous Touk Miller who dominated when the teams met last year but the young Gold Coast combination appears to have hit the wall after a tough season. I mentioned that half of Melbourne’s recent issues related to poor kicking for goal but most of the other half has to do with the way the Demons are being treated by the men in white or whatever colour they happen to be wearing on a given day. Not that I’m suggesting the free kick numbers should be 50/50 but the last two games have seen them go down in the count by 11-25 (Bulldogs) and 15-22 (Hawks) which, at 35.6%, representing a poorer result than its goal kicking percentage. One of these days, the referees might bless us with a gold standard percentage. The Dees might have been going through a minor slump but nobody can deny the power of their “Awesome Foursome” in the midfield — the magnificent Max Stubblety-Gawn, Christian Stubblety-Petracca, Clayton Stubblety-Oliver and James Stubblety-Harmes will get them through by the half a body length or, in football terms, 15 points. THE GAME Gold Coast Suns v Melbourne at Marvel Stadium Sunday 1 August, 2021 at 12.10pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall - Gold Coast Suns 3 wins Melbourne 11 wins At Marvel Stadium - Gold Coast Suns 0 wins Melbourne 0 wins Past five matches - Gold Coast Suns 0 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches - Dew 0 wins Goodwin 4 wins MEDIA TV - live and on demand on Kayo and live on Foxtel. Check your local guides. Radio - check your local guides. THE LAST TIME THEY MET Melbourne 12.8.80 defeated Gold Coast Suns 9.9.63 at Giants Stadium, Round 6, 2020 The Demons struggled to shake off a dogged Suns outfit inspired by the debut game of Izak Rankine who stole the show with three goals. Max Gawn was steady in the ruck and Christian Petracca was a major influence in the middle, aided by some strong work from Jack Viney. THE TEAMS GOLD COAST SUNS B: W. Powell 27 S. Collins 25 S. Lemmens 23 HB: J. Farrar 50 C. Burgess 29 C. Ballard 10 C: J. Lukosius 13 T. Miller 11 J. Sharp 37 HF: J. Corbett 19 J. Jeffrey 40 A. Sexton 6 F: D. MacPherson 44 B. King 34 B. Ainsworth 9 Foll: Z. Smith 32 N. Anderson 15 D. Swallow 24 I/C: J. Bowes 3 B. Fiorini 8 S. Flanders 26 M. Rowell 18 Sub: W. Brodie 7 Emerg: R. Atkins 2 A. Davies 30 C. Graham 46 IN: J. Farrar J. Jeffrey D. MacPherson Z. Smith OUT: R. Atkins (omitted) C. Graham (omitted) O. Markov (hamstring) I. Rankine (omitted) MELBOURNE B: T. Rivers 24 S. May 1 H. Petty 35 HB: J. Hunt 29 J. Lever 8 C. Salem 3 C: A. Brayshaw 10 C. Petracca 5 E. Langdon 15 HF: C. Spargo 9 T. McDonald 25 J. Viney 7 F: A. Neal-Bullen 30 B. Brown 50 B. Fritsch 31 Foll: M. Gawn 11 C. Oliver 13 J. Harmes 4 I/C: J. Bowey 17 L. Jackson 6 K. Pickett 36 T. Sparrow 32 Sub: J. Jordon 23 Emerg: M. Hibberd 14 J. Melksham 18 S. Weideman 26 IN: J. Bowey OUT: M. Hibberd (omitted) Injury List: Round 20 Bailey Laurie (shoulder) — Test Mitch Brown (heel) — 1 to 2 Weeks Marty Hore (knee) — 5 to 6 Weeks Aaron Nietschke (knee) — Season Adam Tomlinson (knee) — Season

12:10pm: Gold Coast v Melbourne (Marvel Stadium) 2.10pm: Hawthorn v Brisbane (Launceston) 3:10pm: Essendon v Sydney (MCG) 5.10pm: Fremantle v Richmond (Optus Stadium) 6:10pm: GWS v Port Adelaide (Marvel Stadium)

A letter from the CEO Dear Demonland, I am writing to keep you all up to date with the latest changes to the AFL fixture following the lockdown announced in South-East Queensland today. Our Round 20 clash against the Gold Coast, originally due to be played this afternoon at Metricon Stadium, has been rescheduled. As soon we have further details on when and where the match will be played, we will let you all know. When the lockdown was announced, our players and coaches were already in transit to Queensland. Upon landing in Brisbane, they were informed of the change in circumstances and have now headed back to Melbourne. Once we know the channel that the game will be broadcast on, we will let you know, as I am sure you will all want to tune in to throw your support behind the team. Despite the whirlwind of events, we are incredibly pleased to still be able to get our Round 20 match away this weekend, considering all that’s going on around the country. At this stage, we are still planning to face the West Coast Eagles in Round 21 at Optus Stadium. However, we anticipate the day and time of this clash is likely to change, to allow us to travel to Perth and undertake Western Australia’s mandatory seven-day quarantine period before being able to play a match. As we have seen today though, things can change at any moment. Rest assured, we will continue to keep you all up to date with any changes that may arise as quickly as we possibly can. Please keep your eyes peeled to the Melbourne website and social channels for further updates as they come to hand. We are also hopeful that things in Victoria can continue to track in a positive direction and that we can see you all back in the stands very soon. Our players and coaches entered the 2021 season knowing that every club will need to be flexible, agile, and prepared for anything. This weekend has once again proved this to be the case, but I am pleased to say that they have taken today’s events in their stride and are excited to face the Suns. Go Dees, Gary Pert Chief Executive Officer

From Gary Pert A letter from the CEO Dear Demonland, I am writing to keep you all up to date with the latest changes to the AFL fixture following the lockdown announced in South-East Queensland today. Our Round 20 clash against the Gold Coast, originally due to be played this afternoon at Metricon Stadium, has been rescheduled. As soon we have further details on when and where the match will be played, we will let you all know. When the lockdown was announced, our players and coaches were already in transit to Queensland. Upon landing in Brisbane, they were informed of the change in circumstances and have now headed back to Melbourne. Once we know the channel that the game will be broadcast on, we will let you know, as I am sure you will all want to tune in to throw your support behind the team. Despite the whirlwind of events, we are incredibly pleased to still be able to get our Round 20 match away this weekend, considering all that’s going on around the country. At this stage, we are still planning to face the West Coast Eagles in Round 21 at Optus Stadium. However, we anticipate the day and time of this clash is likely to change, to allow us to travel to Perth and undertake Western Australia’s mandatory seven-day quarantine period before being able to play a match. As we have seen today though, things can change at any moment. Rest assured, we will continue to keep you all up to date with any changes that may arise as quickly as we possibly can. Please keep your eyes peeled to the Melbourne website and social channels for further updates as they come to hand. We are also hopeful that things in Victoria can continue to track in a positive direction and that we can see you all back in the stands very soon. Our players and coaches entered the 2021 season knowing that every club will need to be flexible, agile, and prepared for anything. This weekend has once again proved this to be the case, but I am pleased to say that they have taken today’s events in their stride and are excited to face the Suns. Go Dees, Gary Pert Chief Executive Officer

How does this impact our game today and then the match in Perth next week?

How does this impact our game today and then the match in Perth next week?

Why couldn't Carlton kick this straight against Geelong?

Couldn't he have left 2 weeks before they played us?

ROUND 20 FIXTURE (all times AEST) Friday July 30 St Kilda v Carlton, 7.50pm at Marvel Stadium Saturday July 31 Western Bulldogs v Adelaide, 12.20pm at MARS Stadium North Melbourne v Geelong, 1.15pm at Blundstone Arena Gold Coast Suns v Melbourne, 3.10pm at Metricon Stadium Collingwood v West Coast Eagles, 4.15pm at MCG Essendon v Sydney Swans, 7.40pm at The Gabba Sunday August 1 Hawthorn v Brisbane Lions, 2.10pm at UTAS Stadium GWS Giants v Port Adelaide, 3.10pm at Metricon Stadium Fremantle v Richmond, 5.10pm at Optus Stadium

I have spoken with the club and have been assured that the Round 22 Adelaide match will be played in Melbourne at the MCG.

Melbourne will enter home quarantine at midday on Thursday in preparation to fly to Queensland on Saturday morning for their Metricon Stadium game against Gold Coast. The Demons will then fly to Perth directly from Queensland and enter a week of hotel quarantine at the Joondalup Resort before taking on West Coast in Round 21. The AFL is yet to officially announce that sterile corridor to Queensland but the Suns and Demons have been told they will play that game on Saturday as scheduled. The Demons players will have to be in their homes in quarantine and their families will not be able to leave the house even to work or go to school. It means players who want their families to escape their bubbles will spend Thursday and Friday night in hotels before flying to the Gold Coast on Saturday. The breakthrough means Port Adelaide will also be able to fly to Queensland to take on GWS. Former coronavirus cabinet member Eddie McGuire suggested on Footy Classified on Wednesday the Demons might still play Adelaide in Darwin in Round 22. It would mean the huge few weeks on the road in Queensland, Perth and Darwin before playing Geelong in Geelong in Round 23. Brisbane has been scheduled to take on Hawthorn in Tasmania this weekend instead of playing the game in Melbourne, and Collingwood could fly to Launceston to play the Hawks in Round 21.

Thank you. And thanks for reminding me to post the show in here.

Changes from Last Week Jones went from Test to Available Brown went from 2-3 Weeks to 1-2 Weeks Laurie went from 2-3 Weeks to Test Hore went from 6-7 Weeks to 5-6 Weeks