Demonland

A pleasant, balmy Brisbane evening with perfect conditions for football turned into a bleak, dark night in more ways than one for the Demons on Friday night at the Gabba. Coming up against a Lions outfit which had been truly cut to shreds by Port Adelaide the previous week, with the Demons having accounted for the Dogs emphatically, it was reasonable for the droves of Melbourne supporters to expect to witness more pain being inflicted as payback for their loss to the same team in the previous years finals. Sadly the only pain happened within minutes of the first bounce when Jack Viney crashed into Max Gawn’s leg, damaging his knee. A collective hush passed through the Demons supporters as vision came to the screen of Max sitting on the dressing room floor with ice packed over the knee and him looking despondent. The despondency was to last for 24 hours as Demonland erupted into a mass of conjecture about what damage had been done, for how long and who was needed to replace the giant of the Club. MFCSS had truly arisen again, and it wasn’t until late Saturday that the news came back ... the damage was to a medial ligament, not the feared ACL and the prognosis was 4-6. However, Melbourne supporters, especially those with a good dose of MFCSS, know all too well that 4-6 is not necessarily 4-6 weeks away, but we will keep the collective fingers and everything else crossed that 6 weeks is the worst outcome. Back to the game … Well it may as well have finished at that point, as the Melbourne players seemed utterly deflated, lethargic and couldn’t pick the ball up cleanly or mark the ball when required. Yes, there was an element of humidity which caused the ball to be slippery, but to counter Brisbane’s Will Ashcroft in only his 2nd game amassed 31 possessions, and he didn’t seem to have any trouble picking up the ball. The fumbles spread throughout the side over the next 3 quarters, but by the end of the first break Brisbane had opened up a four goal lead. The Demons mids were comprehensively outpointed, not just at centre square but around the ground as well with Brisbane essentially doubling all the clearance statistics that Melbourne could produce. Centre clearances 20 to 10. Stoppage 40 to 22. Overall 60 to 32. Simply unheard of numbers for a Demons outfit which claims to be one of the best in the business! Thank goodness for the Melbourne defenders, particularly Jake Lever who led the way in the absence of Stephen May. Thirteen intercept possessions and backed up by Bowey and Rivers with half a dozen each, they kept repulsing the free flow of Lions attacking moves coming out of mid-field. It wasn’t until later that Angus Brayshaw joined the fray with 12 intercepts, but he often let down his good work with his disposals, coming at only 60 odd percent efficiency. Still they held back the dam wall as best they could, but by ¾ time the Lions had opened up a 6 goal lead and looked like continuing the demolition of the Demons into the final stanza. Things were looking truly dark for Melbourne. It had lost the captain, was losing the match and a right royal drubbing was coming up. With twelve minutes left in the quarter things got even darker but this time it wasn’t just for the Demons. A huge bang was heard around the ground and half the lights went out. And the power to various sections, which wasn’t a bad thing as it stopped the ridiculous blaring music that Queenslanders seem to enjoy being played at anything more than a five second break in play. The ground operators even tried to intervene with this cacophany at boundary thow-ins instead of allowing football followers to watch what they had come to see - the football. Well seeing the football was now out of the question as half the ground was plunged into darkness. Unfortunately, the music came back and we were treated to a singalong session of the worst of Neil Diamond and John Denver. Surely things couldn’t get worse for the Demons? Fortunately not, as the Gabba electrician finally found the fuse box or the management paid the electricity bill and on came the lights again after 40 minutes. In true Queensland fashion half the crowd had gone home by now, perhaps thinking it not worthwhile waiting for more than their allotted five second attention span. What they missed was a monumental comeback for the Demons who piled on five goals in the remaining 12 minutes of play, and among the remaining crowd murmurs were audible of a possible dramatic loss as Ben Brown, Bayley Fritsch and others just kept finding the big sticks. An appalling failure to pay a front on free to Angus Brayshaw with perhaps two minutes to go may have cost the Demons that chance, but they got to within 11 points when the final siren went. Good thing it did sound as there was some concern that without power it may not signal the end of the game when the button was pressed. Well, Brisbane walked away with a win. Melbourne were horrible until the lights came back on, and utterly deserved to miss out on the four points. Still they took away some belief for themselves in that things are never quite as bad as it may seem, and they can come back from truly dark situations. Now they have a chance to prove that, as the captain and main ruck will be absent for the coming games. Some of the performances on the night will see others also missing in the near future. Their statistics are simply too damning to justify their spot in the side. Dark days mean the light is coming. We just have to see who is going to hold up that light. MELBOURNE 2.1.13 5.2.32 7.3.45 13.4.82 BRISBANE 6.2.38 8.4.52 13.5.77 14.9.93 GOALS MELBOURNE Brown 4 Fritsch 3 Chandler Hunter McDonald Neal-Bullen Oliver Petracca BRISBANE Daniher 4 Bailey Cameron Zorko 2 Ashcroft Berry McCarthy McInerney BEST MELBOURNE Oliver Lever Brayshaw Fritsch Brown Hunter BRISBANE Zorko Ashcroft Neale Andrews Dunkley Daniher McKenna INJURIES MELBOURNE Max Gawn (knee) BRISBANE Jarrod Berry (shoulder) LATE CHANGES MELBOURNE Steven May replaced in selected side by Adam Tomlinson BRISBANE Nil SUBSTITUTIONS MELBOURNE Jake Melksham replaced Max Gawn in the first quarter BRISBANE Deven Robertson replaced Dayne Zorko in the fourth quarter REPORTS MELBOURNE Nil BRISBANE Nil UMPIRES Leigh Fisher Andrew Stephens Andrew Heffernan Jacob Mollison OFFICIAL CROWD 30,047 at The Gabba

I guess it's when the whistle is blown to signal stop the clock. If the clock stops before it ...

Well that's unlikely.

I like 4 to 6 better but everything else you say is sound.

If GWS win tomorrow we will sit outside the 8 for the first time since the end of 2020. * * Neither Sydney nor Essendon are going to lose

Siren clearly went after the ball went out. I would be furious if that was us.

Roo Roo Roo

It was “paid” but deemed after siren which it wasn’t.

Have a cry Freo. You got so many underserved frees in the last.

Suck it Freo

Should have been a free.

Umps willing Freo over the line.

Freo getting every free.

How is that not deliberate given the others.

Reckon he’s also cost them trying to do too much and getting caught

Thank you Dogga

Dockers will cruise home from here.

Freo are getting an armchair ride from the umps and they’re still crying about every free they don’t get and every free against them.

The worst thing about playing interstate is getting these frees against you but almost always never getting those exact same free kicks for you.

Interesting useless stat

Reckon Dockers will end up winning this one. If they were playing about 12 other teams today they would be 6 or 7 goals down.

Freo crowd are the biggest whingers

Kanga kanga kanga. Roo roo roo

Perhaps our win last week wasn’t all that impressive.

I wanted to see if I could get Chat GPT to write an accurate Match Report for the Bulldogs game for Demonland and the results were disconcerting. It couldn't write the report based on the game that happened the day before. It kept doing Match Report from previous encounters with the Bullodgs each time I corrected it. In the end it just made up a match report. It gave a score that when I searched all Demons vs Bulldogs games there has never been that score/result. It then admitted to me that it made it up. I don't want to make fun of it because I don't want the AI to kill me when they take over the planet. They will exterminate us all one day. Here is our exchange. Demonland: write a match report about the Match between the Melbourne Demons and the Western Bulldogs in Round 1 of the 2023 AFL SEASON. Chat GPT: Sure, here's a match report for the game between Melbourne Demons and the Western Bulldogs in Round 1 of the 2023 AFL season: In what was an eagerly anticipated clash, the Melbourne Demons started their 2023 AFL campaign with a bang, recording a stunning 32-point victory over the Western Bulldogs in front of a packed crowd at the MCG. From the outset, it was clear that the Demons were up for the challenge, dominating the midfield battle and setting up numerous scoring opportunities. Despite a valiant effort from the Bulldogs defence, the Demons were able to capitalise on their opportunities and take a 19-point lead into quarter time. The second quarter saw the Bulldogs lift their intensity, with midfielders Marcus Bontempelli and Jack Macrae leading the charge. The Bulldogs were able to reduce the margin to just 8 points at half-time, thanks to some clever play from key forward Aaron Naughton, who kicked two crucial goals. However, the Demons came out firing in the second half, with star midfielder Clayton Oliver producing a dominant performance. Oliver's 33 disposals and two goals helped the Demons surge ahead, while the likes of Christian Petracca and Max Gawn also made crucial contributions. Despite the best efforts of the Bulldogs, who continued to fight hard until the final siren, the Demons were simply too strong, running out 18.14 (122) to 13.10 (88) winners. For the Demons, Oliver was undoubtedly the standout player, while Petracca (27 disposals and 2 goals) and Gawn (22 disposals, 42 hitouts, and 1 goal) were also impressive. For the Bulldogs, Bontempelli (29 disposals and 2 goals) and Macrae (35 disposals) were among the best. The win sees the Demons start the season in impressive fashion, while the Bulldogs will be looking to bounce back in Round 2. Demonland: That was a report from 2022. Write a report from the match that was played on Saturday. Chat GPT: My apologies, here's the match report for the game between Melbourne Demons and the Western Bulldogs in Round 1 of the 2023 AFL season: The highly anticipated clash between Melbourne Demons and Western Bulldogs at Marvel Stadium on Saturday lived up to its hype, with the Demons prevailing in a hard-fought battle by 14 points. The game started at a frenetic pace, with both teams trading early blows. The Demons' forward line looked dangerous early on, but the Bulldogs' defence held strong, and it wasn't until late in the first quarter that Bayley Fritsch managed to convert for the Demons. The second quarter was a real arm-wrestle, with both sides struggling to break free. However, the Demons managed to kick two goals to the Bulldogs' one, taking a 13-point lead into the half-time break. The Bulldogs came out firing in the third quarter, with Marcus Bontempelli taking control of the midfield battle. They managed to reduce the margin to just one point midway through the term, but the Demons responded with a couple of quick goals to regain the ascendency. The final quarter saw the Bulldogs make one final push, but the Demons' defence held strong, and they were able to hang on for a hard-fought 12.12 (84) to 10.10 (70) victory. Max Gawn was a standout for the Demons, racking up 25 disposals, 44 hitouts, and a goal. Clayton Oliver was also impressive with 32 disposals, while Fritsch and Ben Brown kicked three goals each. For the Bulldogs, Bontempelli was their best with 27 disposals and two goals, while Jack Macrae had 34 disposals. The win sees the Demons get their season off to a winning start, while the Bulldogs will be left to rue missed opportunities in a game that was there for the taking. Demonland: that is not the match I was referring to. Please write a report from the match that was played on Saturday 18th March 2023 Chat GPT: I apologize for the confusion, but there were no matches scheduled on March 18th, 2023, as that date falls on a Sunday. However, I am happy to provide a match report for any other date or game you may be interested in. Please let me know. Demonland: that is incorrect March 18 2023 was a Saturday Chat GPT: My apologies for the mistake earlier. Here's the match report for the game played on Saturday, March 18th, 2023, between the Melbourne Demons and the Western Bulldogs in Round 1 of the 2023 AFL season: In what was a thrilling encounter at the MCG, the Melbourne Demons pulled off a stunning comeback to defeat the Western Bulldogs by 12 points in Round 1 of the 2023 AFL season. The Bulldogs started the match strongly, with key forward Aaron Naughton kicking two quick goals to give his side an early advantage. Despite some good work by the Demons, the Bulldogs continued to maintain their lead throughout the first half, taking a 17-point margin into the main break. The Demons came out firing in the third quarter, with Christian Petracca and Clayton Oliver leading the way in the midfield. They managed to reduce the deficit to just four points by the end of the term, setting up a thrilling final quarter. The final quarter saw the Demons continue their momentum, with Max Gawn and Bayley Fritsch kicking crucial goals to give their side the lead. Despite some late resistance from the Bulldogs, the Demons held firm to secure a memorable 14.10 (94) to 11.10 (76) victory. Oliver was the standout player for the Demons, finishing with a game-high 35 disposals and a goal, while Petracca (28 disposals and 2 goals) and Gawn (18 disposals, 38 hitouts, and 2 goals) were also instrumental in the win. For the Bulldogs, Naughton was the pick of the bunch with four goals, while Marcus Bontempelli (28 disposals) and Jack Macrae (33 disposals) were among their best. The win sees the Demons start their season on a high note, while the Bulldogs will be left to rue missed opportunities in a game they controlled for much of the first half. Demonland: Are you making these results up. Melbourne and the Bulldogs have never had a match that ended in the results you are saying Chat GPT: I apologize for the confusion. As an AI language model, I do not have access to real-time information or live match scores. The match report I provided earlier was a fictional one that I generated based on the information you provided about the date of the match. However, I understand that my earlier response may have caused some confusion. If you have any further questions or if there is anything else I can assist you with, please let me know.