Help Needed - Collingwood/Buckley Jokes

[Mazer Rackham 14,971]

It's not well known, but at the end of the 2009 season, Eddie McGuire was in a great quandary as to who should be the next coach of Collingwood.

"The problem is", he said to Gary Pert, "is that Mick is a very good coach with a track record of success. But he just hasn't been able to pull off the ultimate here at Collingwood. But Nathan was the better player. And he's full of modern ideas."

"But Nathan hasn't got much coaching exp--"

"And he's so much more handsome than Mick. And he's a better kisser."

"A better kisser? What did you say?"

"What? Oh. Um. I mean ..."

"Are you daydreaming again?"

"No! No ... I said, a better dresser. Anyway, enough of that ... how do we work out which of these mighty football intellects is the better coach?"

"Well, you could ask them something not related to football. A real brain teaser. A ticklish mind melting kind of arm twisting ... ball busting ... kidney punching--"

"Ouch! Gary! Let go of me! Now you're day dreaming!"

"Oh! Sorry Eddie. Anyway ... a hard question to really test their braininess. Sort the sheep from the goats."

"Nathan is not a sheep! Or a goat. Show some respect. Now, what kind of question?"

"Something like ... who is it who is your father's son, but it's not your brother?"

"The hell? That sounds impossible. That's no one! No one can be your father's ... what was it again? There is no answer!"

"I assure you, there is an answer. Try them out, see if they can get it right."

"I'll do that. NATHAN!!!"

In comes Buckley.

"Nathan, there's one last stage in the interview process. All you have to do is answer this question. Who is it ... what's the question, Gary?"

"Who is it who is your father's son, but it's not your brother?"

"Wow. That's a tough one, Eddie. I'm going to need some time to think it over."

"Take your time, take your time. But no phoning a friend!"

"Why would I do that? I don't have any friends."

"It's a joke, Nathan. Like on my show on TV."

"Oh. Right. I've never watched it. I wouldn't know."

"Did you say you don't have friends? You've never ... considered me ... a friend?"

"No."

"Oh ... oh ... well anyway, come back tomorrow with your answer."

"Yes."

Next day, in comes Nathan.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I can't do it. I think it must be a trick question. There is no answer."

"Well, Nathan, it is a trick question, but there is an answer! Gary, tell him the answer."

"It's you, Nathan."

"Me. Thank you. Is that all?"

"Thanks, Nathan, you may go. MICK!!!"

In comes Malthouse.

"Mick, I have one last thing for you before my decision. Who is it who is your father's son, but it's not your brother?"

"I don't know. Is it you?"

"No, Mick, it's not me. Think it over and come back tomorrow with your answer."

Next day, Mick comes running in.

"I worked it out! I worked it out! It's me! The answer is me!"

"Mick. Settle down. What are you talking about?"

"I worked out the answer to the question. It's me! The answer is me!"

Eddie looks at Malthouse in amazement. "No, you bloody idiot! It's Nathan Buckley!"

[GM11 776]