A different Round 2 Preview

March 28, 20169 yr

Round 2 Preview. Getting in early this week as there is no chance I will become any smarter during the week.

Let’s start with last week. Got a couple wrong last round. Firstly, by calling the Tiges/Boos match a draw. I feel as if I had a moral victory with that one. Tiges did not deserve it and Boos could not win it. And Danger beat the Dorks, who woulda thunk it?

Of course the highlight of the Round was the victory by the Mighty Dees. Be still my fluttering heart.

Now this next round should provide some highlights

First up on Friday night at the G - Pies Vs Tiges.

Dear oh dear, I have already read someone describing this as a ‘Blockbuster’. Some people have no imagination, intelligence or common sense and most of them are sports reporters (I'm looking at you, Robbo.). Pies not only got pantsed last week but the Swans had time to wash, dry and iron them before giving them back in individually wrapped cellophane baggies. Some of the players were seen carefully folding the baggies for later use. Rumour has it that Eddie has a club sanctioned barber coming in to shave all players heads. Hair testing….good luck with that.

The Tiges will fancy their chances against the Inepts only because they were slightly less inept in their draw against the Boos.

I just hope these two do not sully the sacred turf with their collective ineptitude.

Prediction: Tiges by 2 goals, they may be the only two goals of the match.

Still Saturday in Adelaide at the Adelaide Oval (love descriptive names) Cows Vs. The other team from Adelaide.

The whole of Adelaide get their knickers in a twist about these games and the rest of Australia do whatever it is they do when they realise that they should be in awe of whatever is happening in the Town That Time Forgot and could not give a fat rat's clacker.

Just hope that these two belt the living suitcase out of each other and 3 or 4 from each team get suspensions. Cows were losers last time playing at the home away from home and they deserved it. The other team from Adelaide got 4 points for playing the Aints.

Cows deserve another beating. Too old too slow.

Prediction: Port to dominate – 6 goal win.

Saturday afternoon footy at the ‘G’ again for the Mighty Dees and this time against The Drug Cheats.

This week we are the ‘visitors’ to our home ground. TDC should not be allowed on to the ground unless they have all had chlorine showers and passed drug tests. This should include all coaching staff. We want a ‘clean’ game. TDC Cool-aid supporters will walk to the ‘G’ as a show of support for their much maligned, persecuted, poorly treated ‘players’. The rumour that a few of them will be dragging crosses is unfounded as is the one that old Clay Feet James will be attending the walk. He would not be allowed to walk but will be born at shoulder height in a sedan chair carried by drug fueled fanatics as is only right for French royalty. Scum!

Dees to step up from their win last week and play at least 3 quarters and win going away.

Prediction: Dees by plenty

As we go around the grounds this Saturday we are at the Gabba for The Pride VS Norf.

Yes, Jack we have the close on here! Lepper’s Pride goes before a fall …..2 mins to go and a point in it! Nah, I lie, I am delusional. After a wander back and forth across the Nullabor against a winning Norf coached by “Scott no friends except his brother” they will not get anything out of the first two rounds.

Heard someone mention that Norf had a win last week I asked how Carey played, got nothing back except quizzical looks. They looked even more puzzled when I asked about Archer’s performance. I had to explain who these guys were and that if Boomer was till trotting out these other two could not be far behind him.

Prediction: Norf

My goodness gracious me! More Saturday games and we travel to inner Melbourne to the Home Away from Home to preview Aints Vs Dogs.

Ok, I am going to dive into the doggies hype, put on the flippers, goggles and snorkel and swim around in it. They are burning bright across the dull night sky playing exciting footy to warm the hearts of the footy faithful.. well that is what is being reported and I believe all that I read. The Aints, on the other hand, are a guttering candle fighting against the cold dawn light of reality. (just read that again… damn that is a line that is too good to be wasted on the Aints). St Nick looking towards the North pole.

May well be a season of ‘Honorable’ loses for the Aints.

Prediction: Another loss for the Aints and this one may not be honorable.

Last but least on Saturday Night we can all stay glued to our TVs to watch the losing Duckers Vs the Sons of Ablett being played somewhere west of most other places in civilized Australia at a ground with a name.

Maybe this will be the close one. Freo might turn up to play and the Sons might get weary from travel. Hmmm that is one ‘Maybe’ and two ‘Mights’ in the first two sentences. This is a reflection of the fact I do not have a clue about this game or the teams involved and even less care as to who might win it, maybe.

Prediction: Freo to squeeze it due to their ‘dead cat bounce’ after their display last week

Three big games on Sunday kick off with Greater than what? Western Sydney Vs Danger this is to be played at a ground designated “MO” on the ALF site. No idea…anyone? Anyone?

The Gnats MO last round against the Mighty Dees was to counter punch the goals through. Had a few problems finding the right direction on the kicks but I believe that they used the game to lull the rest of the comp into a false sense of security. You just wait, they will come good and their supporters have the perfect excuse for a loss. “If only we had kicked straight!” hide behind that thought, suckers.

Geelong MO is to give it to Danger and sit back and watch. I am sure Danger was to supposed play for us this season. Juddies Gran said it was so.

Prediction: Handbaggers by a couple

Second of the Sunday three with the Reigning Premiers Vs The Ex-druggies at the G.

Dorks came second in a two horse race last round and the Exs won one at home. At least I think I read somewhere they won. I am sure they did, against one of the other teams. (see I am on top of my game, over all of it… detail Robbo…Detail.. ya can’t beat it!). This is a hard one for me to call as I think the Dorks will open their account for the season and get the 4 points but I really do not want them to do well this season. I am bored with them and Clarko. Bring back Jeff. I want to see him and Eddy go at it in the Cage. But I digress. The game. Hmmm yes, what to say about the ex-druggies. They come from Perth, won last week and will fly to Melbourne for the game. (See what I did there? Robbo, I stuck with the facts. Good reporting huh?)

Prediction: Dorks.. who cares about the margin except for the diehard punters. (this is the opinion piece Robbo. Get back to me when you can define the difference between facts and opinion)

Last one on Sunday at the Home away from Home Boos Vs Sydelly.

Ignoring The Drug Cheats who I believe will come last, I think the Boos are a good thing to be propped up by them and be the first team in the history of Footy to get awarded a wooden spoon because the team below them is rubbed out because of drug cheating. The Drug Cheats got their wooden spoon in 2012 in my book.

Boos to look good for a quarter or so and then wake up to the fact that they are not really that good and to tank it for the Swannies.

Buddy to kick a bag (if I repeat this each week, one round I will be right).

Prediction: Swannies by a few.

Just to raise the culture level of this I end with a favorite quote from none other than Hemmingway.

“Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

Another round done and dusted.

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