Just came across this and thought everyone seems so stressed out and serious at the moment re our current plight, it was nigh time with my first post to add a little humour to our lives.

Port Adelaide for 2016 Olympics

Supporters For The Port Adelaide 2016 Olympic Games Bid...

Port Adelaide has entered into the running for the 2016 Olympics, with

Such a well thought out plan I think they are in with a chance!

The Olympic Flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a local

Of Taperoo wearing a counterfeit Fubo shirt, stolen Billabong board

Shorts & to keep with tradition no shoes.

100 METRE SPRINT

Competitors will start outside Hungry Jacks Port Adelaide, and will

Have to hold a VCR & a Microwave (one in each arm) and, on the sound

Of the starter's gun, a Police dog will be released from a cage 10

Metres behind the athletes.

100 METRE HURDLES

As above but with added obstacles, car bonnets, hedges, garden beds,

Fences, walls etc.

HAMMER THROW

Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to

Use (claw, sledge etc). The winner will be the one who can cause the

Most grievous bodily harm to Victorian residents and their caravans

Visiting West Beach Resort within the time allowed.

SHOOTING

A strong challenge is expected from the men in this event. The first

Target will be a moving Police vehicle. In the second round,

Competitors will aim at the Port Adelaide Post Office Clerk, Mobil

Petrol Station Console Operator or Bottleshop Attendant.

BOXING

Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams and

Will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15

Glasses of Bourbon and Coke at the Ramsgate Hotel, while the wife

Wearing bike pants, an old T-shirt, and thongs will be told not to

Make him any dinner when he gets home. To charge him further she will

Ask him to remove the old commodore transmission from the bath.

CYCLING TIME TRIALS

The competitor will attend the Port Mall Shopping Centre where they

Will obtain a bicycle stolen from a Portside Christian school student,

They will then be pitted against the clock. Bonus points will be

Awarded for a helmet, which would have been procured at the time of

Getting the bike.

MEN'S 50KM WALK

Unfortunately this is now cancelled, as organisers cannot guarantee

The safety of anyone walking the streets of Port Adelaide.

GYMNASTICS

The Beam will be replaced by a strip of gutter along St Vincents

Street, outside Centrelink. The event will commence at closing time -

We expect some rather difficult dismounts to be performed on this

Apparatus. The floor routine will be conducted in the padded cell of

The Adelaide Jail.

CLOSING CEREMONY

Entertainment will include a bonfire made out of the Taperoo Primary

School , accompanied by a local pub cover band. The Olympic Flame will

Be extinguished by the Port Adelaide Mayor by urinating from the base

Of the spire in a cascading effect. The stadium (to be constructed

Within the Portmall Carpark) will then be boarded up before local

Athletes break in to it and remove all the copper piping, electrical

Wiring and air conditioners.

Nice.

Word has it if Port Adelaide are successful in their 2016 Bid, the Filth (Collingwood) are contemplating on boycotting that Games on account of risking their Moccasins being stolen during the Games.