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SLEEPERS by The Oracle You could easily be forgiven for thinking that it was the entire Melbourne Football Club and not Dan Connors and Dustin Martin who had a big night out, decided to take some sleeping pills and turned up late for their assignation. That's how it appeared in the opening quarter of their game against the Tigers as the Demons put on a convincing portrayal of a team in a stupor desperately imitating the mannerisms of the Keystone Cops on its way to a football belting. They made the mistakes of a tired side lacking in skills, unable to make the correct decisions and appearing decidedly out of position and out of place. You just knew from the moment Lynden Dunn gave that nudge in the back for Richmond's first goal early in the game that things weren't going to go well and it was only for the fact that the Tigers had the kicking yips in front of goal that prevented them from setting up a huge percentage booster as they push towards the finals. The problem for Melbourne was that it had the yips all over the ground and not just in front of goal so we were treated to the now routine abysmal start involving errant handpasses (usually the one in the chain too many), kicks to teammates that float over their heads and end safely in the hands of an opponent or out of bounds on the full and the gift of stupid free kicks that inevitably result in cheap opposition scores. The spectre of a shameful scoreless first quarter was definitely on the cards when Stef Martin missed one from an angle but Sam Blease stepped in with one of his now typical ripping left foot goals. When they woke up and the dust had settled, the Demons found themselved trailing by 1.0.6 to 4.6.30. Sure, it could have (and perhaps should have) been worse but it could also have been so much better had the team come into the game more organised and wide awake. From that point, the result was never in doubt but at least Melbourne fought its way through the game and even narrowly outscored Richmond in the final three quarters, helped by the Tigers poor kicking for goal, some abysmal and inconsistent field umpiring, and a great solo performance from Nathan Jones who has been a shining light at the club this season. The main thrust of any Demon fightback was effectively stilled by the comedy of errors that ended with a video review that disallowed what appeared to be a flaky goal off the boot of James Magner. It started when Magner intercepted a mark that appeared headed for the safe hands of Jared Rivers. The shot was taken from only 35 metres out but it disappeared into a crowd of players with legs and arms apparently flailing around an untouched ball. The goal umpire looked ready to pay the goal but then every official on the ground had a say and it went to the video review which was said to have proved inconclusive. A goal to Melbourne would have meant it was game on but it was not to be. Melbourne had a few other triers but there simply weren't enough of them. Colin Sylvia is regaining some form, James Frawley did his best in curtailing Jack Riewoldt and Jack Watts showed his undoubted class. Regrettably, the team is still hopelessly undermanned, under strength and simply doesn't have the experienced cool heads at this stage to lead the way in times of crisis. There are too many of the best 22 out of the side and the slack is not being taken up by young blood as it should when you're sitting forlornly near the basement at 2 and 12. Chris Connolly once said that if you made five or more changes to the side then you had little chance of winning. But that is exactly what Richmond did after a horror week when it lost players to suspension and injury. The Tigers changed their team because of circumstance and still won - even if it was a case of winning ugly. It's time for Melbourne to ring in the changes this week. There were enough passengers who slept on the job against Richmond to warrant changes to the team. Hopefully, Mark Jamar will be back in the side from injury but he should be joined by a combination of youth and experience to replace the sleepers. It would also assist if the team if Mark Neeld reconsidered his decision to play so many of his charges out of their normal positions. That sort of experimentation often proves successful on a one out basis but in the long run, simply doesn't work. The team is floundering and the forward line is a shambles in the absence of Mitch Clark and Liam Jurrah. Colin Garland, Jared Rivers and Magner never looked like kicking multiple numbers of goals up there while Lynden Dunn and Watts need a change back to the forward line. Melbourne has a former under 18 All Australian key position player running around at Casey. Another young key defender has been on the cusp of selection and named emergency a few times this year. A few others have been battling on their way back from injury. It's time to see what they're made of and put them on the big stage for next week's game against the Dockers, failing which many supporters might well take the easy option and simply sleep in on Saturday. Melbourne 1.06 4.4.28 5.6.36 11.12.78 Richmond 4.6.30 6.1248 9.20.74 13.23.101 Goals Melbourne Martin 2 Bail Bennell Blease Garland Jones McKenzie Rivers Sylvia Tapscott Richmond Nahas 4 Deledio McGuane 2 Edwards Grigg Riewoldt Tuck White Best Melbourne Jones Martin Frawley Sylvia Bail Watts Richmond Tuck Grigg Deledio Houli Cotchin Nahas Injuries Melbourne Frawley (concussion) Richmond Griffiths (calf tightness) Changes Melbourne Nil Richmond Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Richmond Nil Umpires Wenn Armstrong Foot Official Crowd 46,773 at MCG

SLEEPERS by The Oracle You could easily be forgiven for thinking that it was the entire Melbourne Football Club and not Dan Connors and Dustin Martin who had a big night out, decided to take some sleeping pills and turned up late for their assignation. That's how it appeared in the opening quarter of their game against the Tigers as the Demons put on a convincing portrayal of a team in a stupor desperately imitating the mannerisms of the Keystone Cops on its way to a football belting. They made the mistakes of a tired side lacking in skills, unable to make the correct decisions and appearing decidedly out of position and out of place. You just knew from the moment Lynden Dunn gave that nudge in the back for Richmond's first goal early in the game that things weren't going to go well and it was only for the fact that the Tigers had the kicking yips in front of goal that prevented them from setting up a huge percentage booster as they push towards the finals. The problem for Melbourne was that it had the yips all over the ground and not just in front of goal so we were treated to the now routine abysmal start involving errant handpasses (usually the one in the chain too many), kicks to teammates that float over their heads and end safely in the hands of an opponent or out of bounds on the full and the gift of stupid free kicks that inevitably result in cheap opposition scores. The spectre of a shameful scoreless first quarter was definitely on the cards when Stef Martin missed one from an angle but Sam Blease stepped in with one of his now typical ripping left foot goals. When they woke up and the dust had settled, the Demons found themselved trailing by 1.0.6 to 4.6.30. Sure, it could have (and perhaps should have) been worse but it could also have been so much better had the team come into the game more organised and wide awake. From that point, the result was never in doubt but at least Melbourne fought its way through the game and even narrowly outscored Richmond in the final three quarters, helped by the Tigers poor kicking for goal, some abysmal and inconsistent field umpiring, and a great solo performance from Nathan Jones who has been a shining light at the club this season. The main thrust of any Demon fightback was effectively stilled by the comedy of errors that ended with a video review that disallowed what appeared to be a flaky goal off the boot of James Magner. It started when Magner intercepted a mark that appeared headed for the safe hands of Jared Rivers. The shot was taken from only 35 metres out but it disappeared into a crowd of players with legs and arms apparently flailing around an untouched ball. The goal umpire looked ready to pay the goal but then every official on the ground had a say and it went to the video review which was said to have proved inconclusive. A goal to Melbourne would have meant it was game on but it was not to be. Melbourne had a few other triers but there simply weren't enough of them. Colin Sylvia is regaining some form, James Frawley did his best in curtailing Jack Riewoldt and Jack Watts showed his undoubted class. Regrettably, the team is still hopelessly undermanned, under strength and simply doesn't have the experienced cool heads at this stage to lead the way in times of crisis. There are too many of the best 22 out of the side and the slack is not being taken up by young blood as it should when you're sitting forlornly near the basement at 2 and 12. Chris Connolly once said that if you made five or more changes to the side then you had little chance of winning. But that is exactly what Richmond did after a horror week when it lost players to suspension and injury. The Tigers changed their team because of circumstance and still won - even if it was a case of winning ugly. It's time for Melbourne to ring in the changes this week. There were enough passengers who slept on the job against Richmond to warrant changes to the team. Hopefully, Mark Jamar will be back in the side from injury but he should be joined by a combination of youth and experience to replace the sleepers. It would also assist if the team if Mark Neeld reconsidered his decision to play so many of his charges out of their normal positions. That sort of experimentation often proves successful on a one out basis but in the long run, simply doesn't work. The team is floundering and the forward line is a shambles in the absence of Mitch Clark and Liam Jurrah. Colin Garland, Jared Rivers and Magner never looked like kicking multiple numbers of goals up there while Lynden Dunn and Watts need a change back to the forward line. Melbourne has a former under 18 All Australian key position player running around at Casey. Another young key defender has been on the cusp of selection and named emergency a few times this year. A few others have been battling on their way back from injury. It's time to see what they're made of and put them on the big stage for next week's game against the Dockers, failing which many supporters might well take the easy option and simply sleep in on Saturday. Melbourne 1.06 4.4.28 5.6.36 11.12.78 Richmond 4.6.30 6.1248 9.20.74 13.23.101 Goals Melbourne Martin 2 Bail Bennell Blease Garland Jones McKenzie Rivers Sylvia Tapscott Richmond Nahas 4 Deledio McGuane 2 Edwards Grigg Riewoldt Tuck White Best Melbourne Jones Martin Frawley Sylvia Bail Watts Richmond Tuck Grigg Deledio Houli Cotchin Nahas Injuries Melbourne Frawley (concussion) Richmond Griffiths (calf tightness) Changes Melbourne Nil Richmond Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Richmond Nil Umpires Wenn Armstrong Foot Official Crowd 46,773 at MCG

MONEY CAN'T BUY ME LOVE by Mean Gene Melbourne displayed great emotion when it monstered the young guns from Greater Western Sydney in their long-awaited clash at the MCG. While the board, the football department and the players have long moved on from the departure at the end of 2011 of Tom Scully, the majority of the fans needed to vent at their former player who not only jumped ship for the money but also who many believe acted disrepectfully to the club in the way he and his connections dealt with his departure. The fans got what they wanted. Like most of his fellow Giants, Scully started well enough. He was collecting his share of boos with every possession in the game's first 25 minutes as the Sydneysiders scored five of the game's first eight goals but then the wheels swiftly fell off as Melbourne went in for the kill. By game's end, they were no longer Giants and more in the nature of midgets in the presence of a superior opposition. It was hard to believe that this was the same team that went to Geelong and stayed with the reigning premiers or was in with a chance late in the game last week against Richmond. For that matter, it's still hard to get the head around the fact that one of their number is really cashing in to the tune of $2 million for this season alone. Hard to fathom that from the 25 minute mark of the first term until the siren blared to end the third quarter, another team that had been pushed from pillar to post in the first nine rounds of the season and only won its first game a few weeks ago, could outscore an opponent by 15.8 to 1.1. The fact is that money can't buy what that scoreline provided to the people who collectively make up the Melbourne Football Club. It could only happen with emotion, with integrity, with hard work and with some healthy improvement in every facet of the club over recent weeks. The hero of the early part of the game was Mitch Clark who was absolutely superb with four first goals before he came off with a foot injury and a knock to the head. At one stage, it would not have been unreasonable to expect him to finish with double figures. His departure allowed others to take over as forward targets, notably former defenders Jared Rivers and Colin Garland who finished with four and three goals respectively (although the former was already in the goals by the time Clark left the field). Multiple goalkickers are always the heroes but it was another Demon who has stood consistently as a beacon among his teammates in Nathan Jones who ran all day to pick up 34 disposals and who led the way all day. So too did Mark Jamar in the ruck against a couple of the Giants big men in Brogan and Giles who might be unsung but have taken some significant scalps this year. Speaking of unsung heroes Matthew Bate has been in football's no man's land for the past few years but he was superb against the Giants amassing 27 touches, seven marks and a super goal. Then there were Melbourne's early draft picks in Jack Watts (27 touches), co-captains Jack Grimes and Jack Trengove, James Frawley and the much-maligned Colin Sylvia. All of them turned it on and showed their worth and the fact that they were deserving of their early draft slots. One should add some plaudits to Jordie McKenzie who quelled Scully's early start and put him out of the game. Similarly, Tom McDonald took the other GWS number one pick Jonathon Patton to the cleaners in a true break out performance in defence. The game could well turn out to be a turning point for the Melbourne Football Club and it was only fitting that former skipper James McDonald was on hand to watch his old club take its first steps towards future greatness. Perhaps I'm getting a bit carried away but it's been a while since the Demons had such a convincing victory but I suspect there will be many more against plastic franchises built on dollars yet lacking in the emotional aspects of the game that money can't buy, a principle no better exemplified than by the emotionless robot who got paid more than anyone else on the day. Melbourne 6.1.37 11.4.70 18.8.116 20.15.135 GWS Giants 5.1.31 6.2.38 6.2.38 9.3.57 Goals Melbourne Clark Rivers 4 Garland 3 Davey Sylvia 2 Blease, Bate Blease Howe Jamar Trengove GWS Giants Cameron 3 Wilson 2 Adams Bugg Greene Patton Best Melbourne Jones Watts McDonald Bate Grimes Clark GWS Giants Ward Adams Treloar Shiel Greene McDonald Injuries Melbourne Mitch Clark (foot) GWS Giants Nil Changes Melbourne Rohan Bail (concussion) replaced in the selected side by Sam Blease. GWS Giants Nil Reports Melbourne Nil GWS Giants Nil Umpires McBurney, Ryan, Hay Crowd 20,070 at the MCG

THE WRITING ON THE WALL by Grapeviney At some point between Melbourne's unexpected victory over the Bombers on a wintry Saturday night last month, and quarter time against expansion team GWS a few weeks later, Demons supporters could have been forgiven for thinking that their team might purge their miserable 2012 season opening loss to the Lions with a victory in the return match in Brisbane on Sunday. Sure, the Demons' 2-10 win-loss ratio heading in to the Brisbane game was nothing to write home about, but there were increasing signs that Mark Neeld's charges were starting to adapt to the new coach's game-plan and vision. Some of that optimism had dissipated in the wake of Melbourne's 78-point thumping of the Giants, when the club learned of the season-ending foot injury to gun recruit Mitch Clark, who before yesterday's game had bagged an admirable 25 per cent of the Demons' goals in season 2012. But with the movement of Colin Garland and Jared Rivers to the forward line paying dividends, there seemed to be cause for hope even with Clark sidelined. Hope turned to dismay, however, before the Lions game, with news that Mark Jamar and Nathan Jones were late withdrawals, and any chance that the Demons had of causing an upset disappeared in the opening minutes of the match, when improving defender Tom McDonald copped a knee to the abdomen and had to be hospitalised with a suspected punctured lung. In isolation, Melbourne might have been able to handle these setbacks, but taken together, the side was seriously undermined whichever way Neeld chose to position his troops. To his credit, the coach didn't panic when McDonald went down, and while it left an undersized Watts matched up against the Lions' man-mountain in Brown for a short time, Neeld's faith in the starting line-up seemed to pay dividends when the Demons drew within a point of the home side late in the first quarter. But the writing was on the wall, even in that first term. While Melbourne could only manage to score goals best described as opportunistic, Brisbane had little trouble finding avenues forward, and two late goals to Brown saw the home side slip away to a handy lead that would only increase as the day wore on. From there, it was only a matter of filling in the details. Melbourne contested the hard ball well, and there was little to separate the two sides in the clearances, inside-50's, and contested possessions, but the Demons failed to register a major in the second term and could only manage a solitary goal in the third as Brisbane moved the ball with ease from half back to set up scoring chances in their forward 50. In contrast, the Demons struggled – as they have for much of the year - to run and spread and move the ball with speed, and they regularly broke down at half forward. Stef Martin made a triumphant return to senior football, displaying the form which saw him fill in so successfully for an injured Jamar last year, and Joel Macdonald answered his many critics by complementing his usual hardness at the ball with an 88-per cent disposal efficiency. Jeremy Howe continued to show why he is one of the more promising names on the club's list, and Jordie McKenzie played the rugged, no-nonsense type of game MFC supporters have come to expect from him. With Melbourne facing the Tigers – a team with much to play for and an impressive midfield – this week, it's going to take an effort of Herculean proportions if the Demons are to return to the winner's circle Melbourne 3.6.24 3.8.26 4.11.35 8.13.61 Brisbane Lions 6.1.37 9.60 13.11.89 18.14.122 Goals Melbourne Blease 2 Bail Bate Garland Howe McKenzie Sylvia Brisbane Lions Brown 4 Hanley McGrath 3 Green 2 Bewick Black Merrett Polec Redden Zorko Best Melbourne Howe Macdonald Sylvia Blease Martin Watts Brisbane Lions Rich Brown Black Rockliff Harwood Hanley Injuries Melbourne Tom McDonald (lung) Brisbane Lions McGrath (hamstring) Changes Melbourne Mark Jamar and Nathan Jones replaced in the selected side by Jake Spencer and Sam Blease Brisbane Lions Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Brisbane Lions Nil Umpires Kamolins Jennings Mollison Crowd 22,114, at Gabba

THE WRITING ON THE WALL by Grapeviney At some point between Melbourne's unexpected victory over the Bombers on a wintry Saturday night last month, and quarter time against expansion team GWS a few weeks later, Demons supporters could have been forgiven for thinking that their team might purge their miserable 2012 season opening loss to the Lions with a victory in the return match in Brisbane on Sunday. Sure, the Demons' 2-10 win-loss ratio heading in to the Brisbane game was nothing to write home about, but there were increasing signs that Mark Neeld's charges were starting to adapt to the new coach's game-plan and vision. Some of that optimism had dissipated in the wake of Melbourne's 78-point thumping of the Giants, when the club learned of the season-ending foot injury to gun recruit Mitch Clark, who before yesterday's game had bagged an admirable 25 per cent of the Demons' goals in season 2012. But with the movement of Colin Garland and Jared Rivers to the forward line paying dividends, there seemed to be cause for hope even with Clark sidelined. Hope turned to dismay, however, before the Lions game, with news that Mark Jamar and Nathan Jones were late withdrawals, and any chance that the Demons had of causing an upset disappeared in the opening minutes of the match, when improving defender Tom McDonald copped a knee to the abdomen and had to be hospitalised with a suspected punctured lung. In isolation, Melbourne might have been able to handle these setbacks, but taken together, the side was seriously undermined whichever way Neeld chose to position his troops. To his credit, the coach didn't panic when McDonald went down, and while it left an undersized Watts matched up against the Lions' man-mountain in Brown for a short time, Neeld's faith in the starting line-up seemed to pay dividends when the Demons drew within a point of the home side late in the first quarter. But the writing was on the wall, even in that first term. While Melbourne could only manage to score goals best described as opportunistic, Brisbane had little trouble finding avenues forward, and two late goals to Brown saw the home side slip away to a handy lead that would only increase as the day wore on. From there, it was only a matter of filling in the details. Melbourne contested the hard ball well, and there was little to separate the two sides in the clearances, inside-50's, and contested possessions, but the Demons failed to register a major in the second term and could only manage a solitary goal in the third as Brisbane moved the ball with ease from half back to set up scoring chances in their forward 50. In contrast, the Demons struggled – as they have for much of the year - to run and spread and move the ball with speed, and they regularly broke down at half forward. Stef Martin made a triumphant return to senior football, displaying the form which saw him fill in so successfully for an injured Jamar last year, and Joel Macdonald answered his many critics by complementing his usual hardness at the ball with an 88-per cent disposal efficiency. Jeremy Howe continued to show why he is one of the more promising names on the club's list, and Jordie McKenzie played the rugged, no-nonsense type of game MFC supporters have come to expect from him. With Melbourne facing the Tigers – a team with much to play for and an impressive midfield – this week, it's going to take an effort of Herculean proportions if the Demons are to return to the winner's circle Melbourne 3.6.24 3.8.26 4.11.35 8.13.61 Brisbane Lions 6.1.37 9.60 13.11.89 18.14.122 Goals Melbourne Blease 2 Bail Bate Garland Howe McKenzie Sylvia Brisbane Lions Brown 4 Hanley McGrath 3 Green 2 Bewick Black Merrett Polec Redden Zorko Best Melbourne Howe Macdonald Sylvia Blease Martin Watts Brisbane Lions Rich Brown Black Rockliff Harwood Hanley Injuries Melbourne Tom McDonald (lung) Brisbane Lions McGrath (hamstring) Changes Melbourne Mark Jamar and Nathan Jones replaced in the selected side by Jake Spencer and Sam Blease Brisbane Lions Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Brisbane Lions Nil Umpires Kamolins Jennings Mollison Crowd 22,114, at Gabba

TIGERS CRASH CASEY'S PARTY by Ice Station The Casey Scorpions crashed to earth on Saturday when their five game winning streak ended with an emphatic 78 point thrashing at the hands of the third placed Werribee Tigers at Avalon Airport Oval. It was only the second defeat for the season for Scorpions who have become renowned for scraping out of difficult situations with narrow victories but it must worry the football department that both losses have been blow outs with massive margins involved. Earlier in the year, Casey lost its only other game of the season to the Bendigo Bombers by 71 points in a similarly disappointing display. The Scorpions rang in several changes to the team (eight in total) from last week's exciting encounter at Sandringham with selectors naming a relatively inexperienced line up. Second gamer Chris Clay was joined by two debutants in Nathan Page and Gippsland Power's Shannen Lange as 23rd man. Page and Clay vindicated their selection and both were named in the best players for their team. The game was played in cold, bleak conditions with swirly breezes making it difficult to produce good football. The home side capitalised on its local knowledge and handled the early conditions much better, kicking accurately to open up a 16 point lead at the first break. From there, the result was never in doubt with the home side dominating the ruck, on the ball and up forward where enigmatic former Geelong premiership player Nathan Ablett was proving a handful for the Casey defence. The Tigers stretched their lead in every quarter and were untroubled to record a 13 goal winning margin. Casey's Michael Riseley worked hard all day and was deservedly the visitors' best player on the day. His improvement this season along with Luke Tynan from reserves players to regular seniors members has been a highlight. Skipper Evan Panozza also worked hard to generate some momentum for his team but it was to no avail. Tom Couch who was moved back on to Melbourne's rookie list to make way for Neville Jetta (returning from injury) racked up 27 disposals ahead of Cale Morton with 26 but generally, the AFL contingent disappointed although it must be added that a few were in the comeback trail after injury and will be better for the run. After the game, Casey coach Brett Lovett described Werribee as the best team the Scorpions have played so far and told reporters, ''We just think our guys, particularly early, didn't come to play and didn't come to play all day. They showed today that they're bloody good opposition. I thought their ball use and their strength, they just beat us in most areas.'' The Scorpions had better turn up to play next week. They meet top team and reigning premier Port Melbourne at Casey Fields on Sunday in an important top of the ladder contest. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Only eleven Demons lined up for the Scorps and, for the most part, they were disappointing. Lucas Cook - it wasn't really a day for a key forward in the Casey line up Thomas Couch - worked tirelessly, got a lot of the football (27 disposals) and was one of the few shining lights in his team. Troy Davis - had his hands full for the second week in a row and was beaten in the end simply by the flow of the ball into his part of the ground. Jack Fitzpatrick - a good comeback in the ruck and up forward after being well beaten early in the day by Majak Daw. Jordan Gysberts - started well but appeared to suffer an injury in the second quarter and faded out of the game. Neville Jetta - had a quiet return after a long stint out with an ankle injury but what he did, he did well. Will improve with more game time. Cale Morton - had 26 touches but really didn't seem to make much of an impression despite getting plenty of the ball. Ricky Petterd - had his moments but like most of his AFL listed teammates, he was disappointing overall. James Strauss - a great user of the ball who worked hard in his second or third game back from a long term injury. Josh Tynan - fearless and that got him hurt in one incident. Generally quiet. Leigh Williams - marked well and kicked a couple of goals. Promising. Casey Scorpions 2.3.15 4.4.28 5.5.35 8.7.55 Werribee Tigers 5.1.31 11.5.71 14.10.94 20.13.133 Goals Casey Scorpions Cook Fitzpatrick Williams 2 Page Smith Werribee Tigers Ablett 4 McKinley 3 Daw Lynch 2 Bolton Mather Moloney Ruggles Sharp Sherlock Sierakowski Speight Warren Best Casey Scorpions Riseley Couch Fitzpatrick Williams Page Clay Werribee Tigers Ablett Ross Daw Pedersen Kennedy Sierakowski The Scorpions led in their development league game against Werribee for most of the day before losing the lead late in the game. Rian McGough, who was down from the seniors, knew exactly what had to be done. He booted home the winning goal with seconds to spare. Seniors co-skipper Kyle Matthews, on return, again injured a shoulder. 2012 AFL Vic Development League Casey Scorpions 3.2.20 6.4.40 9.8.62 12.12.84 Werribee Tigers 2.3.15 4.7.31 7.8.50 12.9.81 Goals Casey Scorpions Galvin 3 McGough 2 Weekes 2 Troutman Collins Pollard Sheahan Hill Werribee Tigers Schibeci 3 Purton-Smith 3 Risol Barbuto Lucas Ruffles Davis Sodomaco Best Casey Scorpions Patti Pollard Weekes Collins Gent McGough Werribee Tigers Laracy Sodomaco Purton-Smith Schibeci Risol McCormack

TIGERS CRASH CASEY'S PARTY by Ice Station The Casey Scorpions crashed to earth on Saturday when their five game winning streak ended with an emphatic 78 point thrashing at the hands of the third placed Werribee Tigers at Avalon Airport Oval. It was only the second defeat for the season for Scorpions who have become renowned for scraping out of difficult situations with narrow victories but it must worry the football department that both losses have been blow outs with massive margins involved. Earlier in the year, Casey lost its only other game of the season to the Bendigo Bombers by 71 points in a similarly disappointing display. The Scorpions rang in several changes to the team (eight in total) from last week's exciting encounter at Sandringham with selectors naming a relatively inexperienced line up. Second gamer Chris Clay was joined by two debutants in Nathan Page and Gippsland Power's Shannen Lange as 23rd man. Page and Clay vindicated their selection and both were named in the best players for their team. The game was played in cold, bleak conditions with swirly breezes making it difficult to produce good football. The home side capitalised on its local knowledge and handled the early conditions much better, kicking accurately to open up a 16 point lead at the first break. From there, the result was never in doubt with the home side dominating the ruck, on the ball and up forward where enigmatic former Geelong premiership player Nathan Ablett was proving a handful for the Casey defence. The Tigers stretched their lead in every quarter and were untroubled to record a 13 goal winning margin. Casey's Michael Riseley worked hard all day and was deservedly the visitors' best player on the day. His improvement this season along with Luke Tynan from reserves players to regular seniors members has been a highlight. Skipper Evan Panozza also worked hard to generate some momentum for his team but it was to no avail. Tom Couch who was moved back on to Melbourne's rookie list to make way for Neville Jetta (returning from injury) racked up 27 disposals ahead of Cale Morton with 26 but generally, the AFL contingent disappointed although it must be added that a few were in the comeback trail after injury and will be better for the run. After the game, Casey coach Brett Lovett described Werribee as the best team the Scorpions have played so far and told reporters, ''We just think our guys, particularly early, didn't come to play and didn't come to play all day. They showed today that they're bloody good opposition. I thought their ball use and their strength, they just beat us in most areas.'' The Scorpions had better turn up to play next week. They meet top team and reigning premier Port Melbourne at Casey Fields on Sunday in an important top of the ladder contest. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Only eleven Demons lined up for the Scorps and, for the most part, they were disappointing. Lucas Cook - it wasn't really a day for a key forward in the Casey line up Thomas Couch - worked tirelessly, got a lot of the football (27 disposals) and was one of the few shining lights in his team. Troy Davis - had his hands full for the second week in a row and was beaten in the end simply by the flow of the ball into his part of the ground. Jack Fitzpatrick - a good comeback in the ruck and up forward after being well beaten early in the day by Majak Daw. Jordan Gysberts - started well but appeared to suffer an injury in the second quarter and faded out of the game. Neville Jetta - had a quiet return after a long stint out with an ankle injury but what he did, he did well. Will improve with more game time. Cale Morton - had 26 touches but really didn't seem to make much of an impression despite getting plenty of the ball. Ricky Petterd - had his moments but like most of his AFL listed teammates, he was disappointing overall. James Strauss - a great user of the ball who worked hard in his second or third game back from a long term injury. Josh Tynan - fearless and that got him hurt in one incident. Generally quiet. Leigh Williams - marked well and kicked a couple of goals. Promising. Casey Scorpions 2.3.15 4.4.28 5.5.35 8.7.55 Werribee Tigers 5.1.31 11.5.71 14.10.94 20.13.133 Goals Casey Scorpions Cook Fitzpatrick Williams 2 Page Smith Werribee Tigers Ablett 4 McKinley 3 Daw Lynch 2 Bolton Mather Moloney Ruggles Sharp Sherlock Sierakowski Speight Warren Best Casey Scorpions Riseley Couch Fitzpatrick Williams Page Clay Werribee Tigers Ablett Ross Daw Pedersen Kennedy Sierakowski The Scorpions led in their development league game against Werribee for most of the day before losing the lead late in the game. Rian McGough, who was down from the seniors, knew exactly what had to be done. He booted home the winning goal with seconds to spare. Seniors co-skipper Kyle Matthews, on return, again injured a shoulder. 2012 AFL Vic Development League Casey Scorpions 3.2.20 6.4.40 9.8.62 12.12.84 Werribee Tigers 2.3.15 4.7.31 7.8.50 12.9.81 Goals Casey Scorpions Galvin 3 McGough 2 Weekes 2 Troutman Collins Pollard Sheahan Hill Werribee Tigers Schibeci 3 Purton-Smith 3 Risol Barbuto Lucas Ruffles Davis Sodomaco Best Casey Scorpions Patti Pollard Weekes Collins Gent McGough Werribee Tigers Laracy Sodomaco Purton-Smith Schibeci Risol McCormack

MONEY CAN'T BUY ME LOVE by Mean Gene Melbourne displayed great emotion when it monstered the young guns from Greater Western Sydney in their long-awaited clash at the MCG. While the board, the football department and the players have long moved on from the departure at the end of 2011 of Tom Scully, the majority of the fans needed to vent at their former player who not only jumped ship for the money but also who many believe acted disrepectfully to the club in the way he and his connections dealt with his departure. The fans got what they wanted. Like most of his fellow Giants, Scully started well enough. He was collecting his share of boos with every possession in the game's first 25 minutes as the Sydneysiders scored five of the game's first eight goals but then the wheels swiftly fell off as Melbourne went in for the kill. By game's end, they were no longer Giants and more in the nature of midgets in the presence of a superior opposition. It was hard to believe that this was the same team that went to Geelong and stayed with the reigning premiers or was in with a chance late in the game last week against Richmond. For that matter, it's still hard to get the head around the fact that one of their number is really cashing in to the tune of $2 million for this season alone. Hard to fathom that from the 25 minute mark of the first term until the siren blared to end the third quarter, another team that had been pushed from pillar to post in the first nine rounds of the season and only won its first game a few weeks ago, could outscore an opponent by 15.8 to 1.1. The fact is that money can't buy what that scoreline provided to the people who collectively make up the Melbourne Football Club. It could only happen with emotion, with integrity, with hard work and with some healthy improvement in every facet of the club over recent weeks. The hero of the early part of the game was Mitch Clark who was absolutely superb with four first goals before he came off with a foot injury and a knock to the head. At one stage, it would not have been unreasonable to expect him to finish with double figures. His departure allowed others to take over as forward targets, notably former defenders Jared Rivers and Colin Garland who finished with four and three goals respectively (although the former was already in the goals by the time Clark left the field). Multiple goalkickers are always the heroes but it was another Demon who has stood consistently as a beacon among his teammates in Nathan Jones who ran all day to pick up 34 disposals and who led the way all day. So too did Mark Jamar in the ruck against a couple of the Giants big men in Brogan and Giles who might be unsung but have taken some significant scalps this year. Speaking of unsung heroes Matthew Bate has been in football's no man's land for the past few years but he was superb against the Giants amassing 27 touches, seven marks and a super goal. Then there were Melbourne's early draft picks in Jack Watts (27 touches), co-captains Jack Grimes and Jack Trengove, James Frawley and the much-maligned Colin Sylvia. All of them turned it on and showed their worth and the fact that they were deserving of their early draft slots. One should add some plaudits to Jordie McKenzie who quelled Scully's early start and put him out of the game. Similarly, Tom McDonald took the other GWS number one pick Jonathon Patton to the cleaners in a true break out performance in defence. The game could well turn out to be a turning point for the Melbourne Football Club and it was only fitting that former skipper James McDonald was on hand to watch his old club take its first steps towards future greatness. Perhaps I'm getting a bit carried away but it's been a while since the Demons had such a convincing victory but I suspect there will be many more against plastic franchises built on dollars yet lacking in the emotional aspects of the game that money can't buy, a principle no better exemplified than by the emotionless robot who got paid more than anyone else on the day. Melbourne 6.1.37 11.4.70 18.8.116 20.15.135 GWS Giants 5.1.31 6.2.38 6.2.38 9.3.57 Goals Melbourne Clark Rivers 4 Garland 3 Davey Sylvia 2 Blease, Bate Blease Howe Jamar Trengove GWS Giants Cameron 3 Wilson 2 Adams Bugg Greene Patton Best Melbourne Jones Watts McDonald Bate Grimes Clark GWS Giants Ward Adams Treloar Shiel Greene McDonald Injuries Melbourne Mitch Clark (foot) GWS Giants Nil Changes Melbourne Rohan Bail (concussion) replaced in the selected side by Sam Blease. GWS Giants Nil Reports Melbourne Nil GWS Giants Nil Umpires McBurney, Ryan, Hay Crowd 20,070 at the MCG

PINK RIBBON DAY FOR CASEY by KC from Casey Gray skies, patches of drizzle and a big crowd were the order of the day as the Scorpions returned to Casey Fields for the first time in several weeks for their annual Pink Ribbon Day in aid of breast cancer research. In the end, it was a successful afternoon on both scores with Casey, wearing a predominantly pink strip for the occasion, winning the four premiership points on offer in its game against Collingwood as well as achieving the target of $15,000 and raising public awareness for this very worthwhile charity. The win also moved the home team into equal top position on the Peter Jackson VFL ladder after Port Melbourne's shock defeat down at Geelong as they move into yet another bye next weekend. The Magpies were full of running and had the first two goals on the board within minutes of the opening before Casey responded with four unanswered goals from Stef Martin, Rian McGough, Tom Couch and Lucas Cook. Despite kicking against a slight breeze, there was plenty of run in the legs for the Casey boys and they appeared in control although a late goal by the visitors saw the Scorpions up by just six points at quarter time. Casey was winning in the ruck through Jake Spencer and Martin whose dominance allowed Couch and Aaron Davey to turn it on at ground level. The latter was in scintillating form turning the clock back a few years with his brilliant footwork and pinpoint delivery of the football. The result was a goal feast for Martin and Cook who booted his fourth goal late in the second term. By that time the Scorpions were out to a commanding 37 point lead. Casey was winning everywhere and it surely must have been pleasing for coach Brett Lovett that his VFL listed players were blending in so well with their AFL counterparts and that they were led so admirably by skipper Evan Panozza who is in career best form. Luke Tynan continues to impress and he combined well in defence with brother Josh. Lesser known Scorpions such as Michael Riseley, Matt Fieldsend and Ricky Plummer were all important contributors on the day and underline the improvement that Lovett's coaching has brought to the team. The second half opened in scrappy fashion with both sides struggling to kick goals until Martin put his team up by six goals at the eleven minute mark. With Davey off for the rest of the game and Troy Davis, who had been the dominant defender in the game, off under the blood rule, the momentum of the game changed. The Magpies responded with four unanswered goals (the last a booming 70 metre kick from Paul Seedsman) to narrow the margin to 13 points before the lively Tim Smith marked and kicked a crucial goal on the siren. There were some nervous moments for Scorpion fans as Collingwood opened with the first two goals of the quarter before Smith kicked a steadier but the Pies were not to be denied and replied once more to nudge their way back to a seven point deficit with half of the term gone. Hard nut midfielder Couch, who was recruited from the Magpies' VFL side of last year and hasn't put in a bad game this year, was revelling in the tight going against his former teammates in the latter stages of the game. Josh Tynan finally bobbed up for a relieving goal - the last of the game although several tense minutes elapsed before Smith marked fifteen metres out as the siren sounded. Unfortunately, he played on causing the game to come to an abrupt end and his attempt at a third goal didn't count. What did count however, was Casey's eighth win from nine games, an excellent result from a team whose players were recently shunned by selectors when choosing the VFL representative side and currently missing key players co-skipper Kyle Matthews, Danny Nicholls and Wade Lees through injury. The results show that the future looks bright for the Scorpions who approach the halfway mark of the season in the pink. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Jamie Bennell - as always, looked good at this level and produced some classy patches of play but there wasn't enough intensity in his play to suggest he can step up to be a regular in an AFL side at the moment. Lucas Cook - a commanding presence up forward in the first half when he marked strongly and kicked well for his four goals but was held after that. Far more confident than when he first came to the club. Tom Couch - kept going all day adding grunt to the midfield and his stats for the day bore out his contribution. Combined well with others in the midfield mix, particularly Jordan Gysberts and, during the second quarter, with Aaron Davey. Aaron Davey - turned on a real cameo performance of balanced football and precision kicking. Had 15 disposals in one half of football before being removed from the game to maintain his eligibility for Monday's game if required. Troy Davis - the pick of the tall defenders on the ground and he was undeterred by the fact that he was giving away height and weight to his Magpie opponents. He's another potentially classy key defender who should make the transition to bigger and better things in the next twelve months. Jordan Gysberts - in his first game back after returning from a broken jaw, he showed he was not afraid of throwing himself into the fray and shrugged off any doubts about his ability to make a swift return to the top level. Given his limited game time this year, he was interchanged a fair bit but was a more than useful contributor right through to the end. Kelvin Lawrence - was classy in patches but didn't quite do enough. Stefan Martin - a great game as the back up ruckman to Spencer and was dangerous when he went forward kicking four goals. Jai Sheahan - steady in defence without being as outstanding in his earlier games and he made a couple of errors under pressure. Still remains a very bright prospect Jake Spencer - won the ruck duels against the Magpie tall timber and although his kicking action looks awkward, his disposal was surprisingly effective on the day. Joshua Tynan - a real goer who covers a lot of ground and was in the thick of things for most of the game. Kicked a really important goal at the end to virtually seal the result. Casey Scorpions 4.3.27 9.7.61 11.9.75 13.12.90 Collingwood 3.3.21 4.4.28 8.8.56 11.11.77 Goals Casey Scorpions Cook Martin 4 Smith 2 Couch McGough Tynan Collingwood Boland 3 Farmer Ferraro Hahn Mooney Paine Seedsman Witts Wood Best Casey Scorpions Martin Riseley Spencer Fieldsend Cook Couch Collingwood Sundberg Hine Hellier Farmer Yagmoor Seedsman Final stats winners Couch 27 (10 hard ball gets & 8 tackles) L Tynan 26 Panozza (& 7 tackles) Fieldsend 20 Martin 19 (& 18 hit outs) 2012 AFL Vic Development League Casey Scorpions 2.4.16 5.6.36 5.10.40 6.11.47 Coburg Tigers 3.0.18 5.1.31 7.5.47 10.7.67 Goals Casey Scorpions Galvin Williams 2 Clay Johnson Coburg Tigers Hore 4 Jordan Murphy 2 Robertella Turner Best Casey Scorpions Troutman Rosier Williams Cleven Page Clay Coburg Tigers Venditti Bamblett Duhau Robertella Hore Price

YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL by The Oracle The mantra concerning the Melbourne Football Club has, since the start of the season been midfield, midfield and more midfield. From the time Simon Black and his cohorts from the Lions sliced open the Demons in the middle of the MCG in Round 1, it's been the same story. Opposition midfields simply have more run, greater smarts and are prepared to work so much harder than their one- dimensional counterparts at Melbourne. The result on Queens Birthday Monday was that Collingwood iced the game in the opening minutes by going bang, bang, bang out of the middle and before the midpoint of the opening term they had a four goal plus lead. Thirty minutes later and into the second term, the Pies had eight on the board, the Dees were still goalless and the smell of 186 was starting to permeate through the nostrils. To its credit, Melbourne managed to regroup and almost work its way back into the contest, kicking three on end before the half time break and moving back to within four goals at stages within the third quarter. Things were not helped by the odd self-inflicted gaffe. Turnovers which lead to easy opposition goals can be heartbreaking but the team persisted and refused to wilt. Faced with a similar picture in 2011, Melbourne sank into the oblivion of a near 15 goal defeat but, at least this time it showed some resistance even after the Collingwood midfield opened the last quarter by going bang, bang, bang again and converting a slightly worrisome 26 point differential into a seven goal lead in the space of less than three minutes, a position which it maintained through the shoot out that ensued for the rest of the game. Collingwood kicked nine straight goals in the final term to record an easy 42–point win. Given that they booted the first eight and were so accurate at the end, the result could have been so much worse for Melbourne whose first half record of 1/10 has been positively underwhelming. The midfield statistics told the story. Collingwood, even without Scott Pendelbury had Dane Swan, returning after two weeks from a hamstring injury, with 42 disposals, eight marks and two goals. I got the impression that during his layoff he might not have showered because the Melbourne players weren't too keen on getting anywhere near him and particularly not between him and the leather. Dayne Beams was almost as prolific with 37 touches, Steele Sidebottom was close behind with 36 possessions and Jarryd Blair had 27 with two goals thrown in for good measure. Melbourne's best midfielder, as usual, was Nathan Jones with 30 and it fell away badly from there. Only Jack Grimes with 25 managed to surpass the 20 possession mark. Jeremy Howe continues to improve in leaps and bounds with his strong marking and two goals a feature for Demon fans. Mitch Clark was dangerous with four goals up forward but there was simply too little in the way of forward line support even though the team notched up its highest score for the season. Nathan Jones (30) and Jack Grimes (25) led the way in terms of possessions, but on the whole it was another pretty disappointing day for Melbourne. Tactically, nothing much that Mark Neeld tried actually worked. Having a couple of men behind the ball seemed counter productive. Of course, if your skills are well behind those of your opponents then you're always going to struggle, especially if the minds of some are weak and tired as well. With half the season gone and no chance of any finals action, it's inevitable that Neeld is going to have to look more and more to the future in the rounds to come. Some of those who lowered their colours badly in this game might never be seen again in Demon colours because whilst it's true that you can't win them all, it's also true that if you can hardly win at all with what you've got, then it's time to ring in the changes. There are some young kids performing impressively at the Casey Scorpions. Some play in the middle and some in key positions. Their time is coming. Melbourne 0.4.4 3.4.22 7.7.49 13.9.87 Collingwood 6.3.39 8.9.57 10.15.75 19.15.129 Goals Melbourne Clark 4 Dunn Howe 2 Blease Magner Rivers Sylvia Trengove Collingwood Sinclair 3 Blair Cloke Fasolo Goldsack Jolly Swan Wellingham 2 Beams Sidebottom Best Melbourne Howe, Grimes, Clark, Jones, McKenzie Collingwood Swan, Beams, Sidebottom, Blair, Bellingham, Goldsack Injuries Melbourne Nil Collingwood Didak (groin) Young (ribs) Changes Melbourne Nil Collingwood Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Collingwood Nil Umpires Stevic Nicholls Bannister Crowd 64,250 at the MCG

A BIT OF A MYSTERY by Mean Gene The game's over and it's 0 and 9 ... but it was still a bit of a mystery how it ended so badly. For three quarters they actually put up a fight and, but for the circumstance of their lack of experience and their low levels of self-confidence, they might have been even closer than 16 points in arrears at the final break. At that time, the Demons had gone a long way to dispelling many of the accusations fired over recent weeks at the entire club from the top down and certainly at the playing group. They opened up with the game's first two goals and three of the first four but after that, only three of seventeen and they finished with none of seven in the final term. They led by a point at quarter time, having gifted two away with some poor disposal out of defence (an umpire gifted the other one). In much the same way as they did against Hawthorn a fortnight ago, they wasted their hard work in a few minutes early in the second quarter when they conceded three goals to the Blues. However, this time they would put up a much better fight and they held steady in the second half of the term. Indeed, a little bit more class in the on ball division and some better efficiency up forward might have seen them a lot closer at the main break. The main problem was that they were being whacked at the stoppages but, at least there were some shining lights. James Frawley and Jared Rivers were holding things down in the backline and Jack Grimes was doing well. Rohan Bail, Sam Blease and Dan Nicholson all added some pace to the mix - a feature that has been missing at Melbourne for so long. Mitch Clark was scoring goals (he could so easily have had five by half time) and Nathan Jones added a touch of hardness along with Jordie McKenzie who was doing a good job in blanketing Chris Judd. The dour struggle continued in the third and they again had their chances. At one stage late in the term, the inside 50 count was even but Carlton still managed an almost three goal buffer at the last change. In days gone past we might have even sensed the possibility of an upset in the offing but the troops looked a little tired as they went into the huddle. So it was that the day was marred by a final quarter when they capitulated. Despite that, they finished with a mysterious and interesting statistic of having had the ball in their forward half for 52% of the game. And considering that the club was supposed to have acquired the cream of football's sports scientists at the end of last season, it's a mystery how the team fades out so badly at the end of games. Melbourne 3.4.22 5.7.37 6.10.46 6.13.49 Carlton 3.3.21 7.8.50 8.14.62 15.17.107 Goals Melbourne Clark 3 Blease Howe Jones Carlton Betts 5 Robinson 3 Hampson Walker 2 Armfield Kreuzer Tuohy Best Melbourne Jones Frawley Watts Bail Blease Clark McKenzie Carlton Robinson McLean Betts Walker Scotland Curnow Injuries Melbourne Green (bruised lung) Carlton Collins (jarred knee) Changes Melbourne Bartram (knee) replaced in selected side by Tapscott Carlton Yarran (toe) replaced in selected side by Lucas Henderson (hip) replaced in selected side by Bower Reports Melbourne Nil Carlton Nil Umpires Ryan Nicholls Fleer Crowd 28,371 at MCG

A BIT OF A MYSTERY by Mean Gene The game's over and it's 0 and 9 ... but it was still a bit of a mystery how it ended so badly. For three quarters they actually put up a fight and, but for the circumstance of their lack of experience and their low levels of self-confidence, they might have been even closer than 16 points in arrears at the final break. At that time, the Demons had gone a long way to dispelling many of the accusations fired over recent weeks at the entire club from the top down and certainly at the playing group. They opened up with the game's first two goals and three of the first four but after that, only three of seventeen and they finished with none of seven in the final term. They led by a point at quarter time, having gifted two away with some poor disposal out of defence (an umpire gifted the other one). In much the same way as they did against Hawthorn a fortnight ago, they wasted their hard work in a few minutes early in the second quarter when they conceded three goals to the Blues. However, this time they would put up a much better fight and they held steady in the second half of the term. Indeed, a little bit more class in the on ball division and some better efficiency up forward might have seen them a lot closer at the main break. The main problem was that they were being whacked at the stoppages but, at least there were some shining lights. James Frawley and Jared Rivers were holding things down in the backline and Jack Grimes was doing well. Rohan Bail, Sam Blease and Dan Nicholson all added some pace to the mix - a feature that has been missing at Melbourne for so long. Mitch Clark was scoring goals (he could so easily have had five by half time) and Nathan Jones added a touch of hardness along with Jordie McKenzie who was doing a good job in blanketing Chris Judd. The dour struggle continued in the third and they again had their chances. At one stage late in the term, the inside 50 count was even but Carlton still managed an almost three goal buffer at the last change. In days gone past we might have even sensed the possibility of an upset in the offing but the troops looked a little tired as they went into the huddle. So it was that the day was marred by a final quarter when they capitulated. Despite that, they finished with a mysterious and interesting statistic of having had the ball in their forward half for 52% of the game. And considering that the club was supposed to have acquired the cream of football's sports scientists at the end of last season, it's a mystery how the team fades out so badly at the end of games. Melbourne 3.4.22 5.7.37 6.10.46 6.13.49 Carlton 3.3.21 7.8.50 8.14.62 15.17.107 Goals Melbourne Clark 3 Blease Howe Jones Carlton Betts 5 Robinson 3 Hampson Walker 2 Armfield Kreuzer Tuohy Best Melbourne Jones Frawley Watts Bail Blease Clark McKenzie Carlton Robinson McLean Betts Walker Scotland Curnow Injuries Melbourne Green (bruised lung) Carlton Collins (jarred knee) Changes Melbourne Bartram (knee) replaced in selected side by Tapscott Carlton Yarran (toe) replaced in selected side by Lucas Henderson (hip) replaced in selected side by Bower Reports Melbourne Nil Carlton Nil Umpires Ryan Nicholls Fleer Crowd 28,371 at MCG

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? by The Oracle That was miserable. Melbourne waved the white flag in the first quarter and, apart from a handfull of triers, the rabble that travelled to Sydney humiliated the oldest football club on the planet with a heartless, soulless effort. One has to wonder what most of them were doing out there because it didn't resemble the game being played by the opposition. If they keep playing like that, the supporters will stop coming and they'll have to ask the doorkeeper the question from the title of this short article. Short, because there really is nothing worthwhile to write about. Melbourne 0.3.3 1.5.11 2.7.19 5.7.37 Sydney 7.1.43 11.4.70 16.9.105 21.12 138 Goals Melbourne Jones 2 Bennell Green Sylvia Sydney Jack Jetta Kennedy Parker 3 Dennis-Lane McGlynn Walsh 2 Mattner O'Keefe, Reid Best Melbourne Blease Watts Jones Garland Grimes Frawley Sydney Jack O'Keefe Parker Jetta Kennedy Parker Injuries Melbourne Jones (sore) Jurrah (leg) Sydney Nil Changes Melbourne Nil Sydney Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Sydney Nil Umpires Nicholls, Hosking, Kamolins Crowd 20,818 at SCG

NUMBERS UP by Sam the Stats Man The numbers don't lie. Bar the first quarter (which it won by 3 points) and the third quarter (which it drew), it was a horror night for the Demons. In fact, I'll describe it as "mean average" which in the language of the statistician means "bloody awful". Demon recruit of the decade Mitch Clark was one of my few highlights when he sent flutters through the hearts of the Hawks' fans early in the evening kicking three great goals despite starting in the ruck. At one stage, his team's score was almost double that of the opposition so that those in the crowd who believed in miracles were becoming enthralled at the possibility of a boilover. Miraculous, because when the Demons led late in the opening term they had half the number of their opponents' possessions and trailed in almost every statistical category available bar the one that matters - the scoreboard. Unfortunately, I can vouch for the fact that miracles in the AFL are a statistical impossibility. This was borne out forty minutes after Clark had booted his third goal when the half time siren sounded, at which time the Hawks had added a further 7.8.50 to the Demons' 0.2.2 (from three shots of which .666 of them were from sitters in front of the big sticks). Clark was still Melbourne's sole goalkicker. The AFL was certainly not pleased. I have it on good authority from a mate who counts the numbers of television sets switched onto the football, that the ratings plummeted as half time approached. He maintains that five minutes into the third term more people were watching part three of a doco on SBS about some long march to freedom than there were viewing the footy. However, the long march failed to beat the Demons' performance on the Bureau of Statistics absolute rubbish index which rated 99.9% in the final term. There weren't all that many stars in the Melbourne line up other than Clark. James Magner, Clint Bartram, Nathan Jones and Mark Jamar all put their hands up from time to time but too many of their teammates seemed indifferent to the task at hand. As usual there was little run and spread for the ball and the Hawks beat Melbourne for skill and execution. For the most part, they basically did as they pleased and too many Demons simply failed to produce the goods. Colin Sylvia (6 disposals in 85% of game time), Jamie Bennell (4 - 91%) and Ricky Petterd (5 - 84%) had statistics that were barely better than the spectators in the stands. (And yes, I'm fully aware from my observations of what many Demon supporters were doing in the latter part of the game that many of them barely made it to 75% of game time!) For all of the coach's pre season talk about Melbourne becoming a harder team to beat, there is one absolutely damning statistic (among many available from this game) and that is scores from stoppages which Hawthorn won 8.8.56 to 0.4.4. That with a ruck division which had 31 hit outs to 26 on the night but whose hit outs to advantage were half that of the opposition. Therein lies 92% of the problem. A systemically dysfunctional on ball division. Melbourne 3.3.21 3.5.23 5.11.41 6.13.49 Hawthorn 2.6.18 8.12.60 10.18.78 15.25.115 Goals Melbourne Clark 3 Howe McKenzie Magner Hawthorn Franklin 3 Puopolo Young 2 Breust Hale Rioli Roughead Savage Smith Suckling Best Melbourne Clark Magner Jones Jamar Howe Frawley Hawthorn Lewis Burgoyne Shiels Birchall Savage Sewell Whitecross Suckling Injuries Melbourne Garland (leg) Hawthorn Osborne (knee) Changes Melbourne Nil Hawthorn Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Hawthorn Nil Umpires Findlay Rosebury Bannister Crowd 36,430 at MCG

TELL THEM THEY'RE NOT TRYING by Mean Gene It's the easiest thing on earth to kick a man when he's down and the pundits have certainly had their day with the Melbourne Football Club of late. That's not to say that some of the criticism hasn't been well earned based on the Demons' form so far this year but it also says a lot about those critics who are falling over suggesting things that they must surely have plucked out of their backsides. Like the superficial rubbish coming from Paul Roos who accused Melbourne players of not trying on last week's On the Couch. He claims that the playing group has already destroyed one coaching career (that of Dean Bailey) and that it is "well on the way to doing the same to Mark Neeld." I don't see it that way and I don't agree with the doomsayers. Sure, things don't appear all that flash after five games but I don't think anyone can accuse the players of not having a dip in their three goal defeat at the hands of St. Kilda. Not when the Demons went into the game minus their full back and full forward, with a key playmaker coming back from injury in a green substitute vest, their most exciting forward still a week away from his comeback game for Casey and a handful of promising younger players either injured or working away to improve their game in the VFL. Yes, their are some excuses and explanations in this paragraph but they are things that need to be considered when looking at a young team devastated by external events and injury that is adapting to a brand new game plan. In spite of all that, Melbourne was able to put in by far its strongest performance of the year for almost the full four quarters until a more experienced St. Kilda outfit rallied to score the last two goals of the game. Melbourne was well served by Nathan Jones who brushed aside criticism from some quarters of his midfield role. He collected 27 disposals, booted two important goals and added passion to the midfield. Jack Grimes heralded his comeback to the team with a great 27 possession game. Melbourne was firing early with strong play from Brent Moloney and scored the game's first two goals. It soon lost the initiative to let the Saints in for a 9 point quarter time lead but fought hard in the wet conditions in the second term. Halfway through the quarter an Aaron Davey goal gave them the lead and when Rohan Bail snapped truly it had opened up to a 10 point advantage. Although the Saints steadied to take the lead into the main break, the scrap continued through the third quarter and well into the last. Tell players like Jordie McKenzie and James Magner who hustled their opponents all night that they weren't trying. Tell it to Cale Morton and Clint Bartram who played their best games in ages or Mark Jamar who killed them in the ruck. Or try telling it to Tom McDonald, with a handful of games under his belt taking on one of the games superstars in Nick Riewoldt. The game proved there is a light at the end of the tunnel for Melbourne and that they need to continue working hard at learning the new style of play. I'm betting the improvement will continue next week when Melbourne takes on Geelong at the place which is symbolic of its current tormented state. There will be no 186 next week. Melbourne 4.1.25 8.3.51 10.6.66 10.6.66 St Kilda 5.4.34 8.5.53 10.9.69 12.12.84 Goals Melbourne Bail Jones 2 Bartram Bate Davey Dunn Moloney Watts St Kilda Wilkes 3 Milne Riewoldt Steven 2 Hayes Montagna Stanley Best Melbourne Jones Rivers Grimes Jamar McKenzie Morton St. Kilda Dal Santo Hayes Armitage Steven Fisher Wilkes Injuries Melbourne James Magner (ankle) St Kilda Jason Blake (knee) Changes Melbourne James Frawley (calf) replaced by Luke Tapscott St. Kilda Jack Newnes by Beau Wilkes Reports Melbourne Nil St. Kilda Nil Umpires Pannell Mitchell Mollison Crowd 24,798 at the MCG

THE SPIRIT WAS THERE, BUT ... by The Oracle For once, things were going well for the Melbourne Football Club. A major announcement was made at the President's luncheon - another sponsorship (German car manufacturer Opel) to help fill the retinue of sponsors after Webjet and Hertz jumped on board to more than fill the void left by the dismissal of a previously disgraced company which apparently still owes the club money. Then, a moving tribute to the legendary Jim Stynes so that when it was over the majority crowd of Demon fans was thirsting for not just a better performance from their team but a win. Only a victory could do justice for this day. There was one man who typified Melbourne on the day and fittingly, he wore the number of the crowd's hero for the day. Big, strong and solid at full forward Mitch Clark marked and goaled for the Demons but he was also part of a procession of players whose shots at goal from straight in front missed their mark. You don't expect Clark, Jeremy Howe and Jack Watts to all miss from dead in front. At the other end, the Western Bulldogs made the most of the opportunities that presented themselves. A couple of snaps from angles, a gimme free and lo and behold, they led at the first break by nine points even though they had one shot less. It's useless to bemoan bad fortune when you fail in the game's most fundamental of skills but, when the final result is a 21-point defeat, then the poor conversion rate really hurts. The trend really did continue throughout the game although when the team momentarily straightened up for a few third quarter goals, the difference in conversion was no more pronounced. Melbourne had inched its way back to trail by a solitary point and the scoreboard read - Melbourne 7.10.52 to Western Bulldogs 8.5.53. The Dogs steadied at that point - thanks to errors committed by both Demon players, some inexperienced umpiring and some great snap shots at goal. It all came back to haunt Melbourne late in the third term and it could have been much worse when Mitch Clark crashed to the earth neck first. Fortunately, he must have had Jimmy and those magnificent recuperative powers smiling down on him because, to the relief and amazement of the crowd, he got up, walked off the ground and was later cleared after scans taken in hospital. This was the epitome of what generations of Demon fans had come to know as the Stynes spirit but the current number 11 was still subbed off and the team's balance was awry for the remainder of the game. The spirit might have been there but it was not enough. The Dogs managed enough successful snaps at goal to make it their day while misses from Colin Garland and Lynden Dunn in the middle of the final term put paid to any chances of a late game resurgence. But it wasn't just the poor conversion rate in front of goal that proved damaging for the Demons. They were at times painfully excruciating to watch as they botched up straight forward kicks and handballs, often gifting away possession to the opposition and sometimes when not under the slightest amount of pressure. These gifts were enough to allow the Western Bulldogs their maiden victory. At least there was a turnaround in effort which was maintained for close on the full four quarters and with a few handy players due to return from injury and suspension, perhaps things might continue to improve for the otherwise hapless Demons. Melbourne 1.5.11 3.8.26 7.10.52 9.13.67 Western Bulldogs 3.2.20 6.5.41 10.7.67 13.10.88 Goals Melbourne Bate Davey 2 Bail Clark Moloney Morton Watts Western Bulldogs Cooney Giansiracusa Grant 2 Dahlhaus Djerrkura Griffen Jones Roughead Sherman Wallis Best Melbourne Rivers Bate Moloney Jones Magner Jamar Western Bulldogs Dahlhaus Murphy Cooney Cross, Wallis Djerrkura Injuries Melbourne Mitch Clark (head/neck) Western Bulldogs Nil Changes Melbourne Nil Western Bulldogs Nil Reports Melbourne Nil Western Bulldogs Nil Umpires Wenn Bannister and some other joker Crowd 33,565 at MCG

THE CRASH by KC from Casey There was always an element of doubt as to how well the Casey Scorpions were going even after three wins in the preseason and a further three in the opening rounds of the real thing. After all, the victories had all been by narrow margins and the last, against perennial cellar dwellar Frankston who had been beaten a week earlier by Bendigo to the tune of points. And the inevitable crash happened. It was already on the cards in the first quarter when Casey struggled with the aid of the breeze to trail by two points. The floodgates opened in the second term when the visitors applied tremendous pressure forcing errors and taking the game completely away from a bewildered Casey outfit scoring seven goals to nil. The half time margin was 45 points and the game was effectively over. Bendigo maintained control in a relatively even third quarter in which it extended its lead by one point and before running away to an easy 71-point victory. It was a poor result for the Scorpions who came into the game with a baker's dozen of AFL listed players who were expected to perform at their top with the prospect of gaining promotion into a disappointing Melbourne side ahead of this week's Jim Stynes tribute game against the Western Bulldogs. An angry Casey coach Brett Lovett felt his team didn't have "a fair dinkum crack" and told the media after the game, "I just thought we sat back a bit and it showed when we were second to the footy." The defeat pushed Casey to third on the ladder but with a poor percentage and facing a bye this weekend, it is likely to fall further by the end of the next round and will need to regroup for the game against North Ballarat in a fortnight's time. Very few players covered themselves in glory but former Collingwood VFL player Tom Couch with 27 touches worked hard all day and put his hand up for promotion next week with a solid four quarter performance. Rick Petterd was a livewire but let his team and himself down with some poor disposal. 
David Collins and Wade Lees ‏ worked hard to each collect 23 possessions while Will Petropoulos pushed hard at times. All in all, a disappointing effort after a promising start to the season and, with the week's bye, the team will have to work hard on the track to help find form for the weeks to come. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Most of the thirteen Melbourne-listed players missed the perfect opportunity to put the case for promotion after the AFL team's disappointing 59 point loss to Richmond a day earlier and, with one or two exceptions, they gave the match committee very little room for thought in their deliberations for Sunday's game against the Western Bulldogs. Jamie Bennell - has pace and is creative but doesn't do enough over the course of a game. Sam Blease - showed his trademark speed at various times but didn't take on the game enough. Tom Couch - the former Collingwood VFL player had another high possession game (27 disposals) and must be a contender for promotion this week. Troy Davis - had a torrid time in defence when the team was under siege in the first half. Then went forward and kicked a couple of goals. Jack Fitzpatrick - like many of his teammates, he was patchy in a beaten side. At times, showed a bit of pace and took some nice strong marks but it was just an average performance. Brad Green - was tagged for most of the game and got away for a couple of goals. Sustained a finger injury and will miss a month. Joel Macdonald - picked up 16 possessions, mainly on a defensive flank but had little impact for all of his work. Daniel Nicholson - back after an injury and club imposed suspension, he showed he was keen to atone for his missed opportunities. Worked hard for his 18 touches and a goal. Ricky Petterd - always looked dangerous up forward but often failed to finish off his work with goals. Jai Sheahan - another of the defenders who was under pressure but again showed promise with his composure. Jake Spencer - coming back after missing the better part of a year with an ACL, Spencer picked up 26 hit outs in the ruck in a good first up effort. Josh Tynan - showed some good run but generally subdued after a week off as emergency for the Demons in Perth. Leigh Williams - kicked a goal but was generally quiet and is still learning to keep up with the tempo at VFL level. Casey Scorpions 4.3.27 4.6.30 6.10.46 9.12.66 Bendigo 4.5.29 11.9.75 13.14.92 20.17.137 Goals Casey Scorpions Davis Green 2 Fitzpatrick Gent Nicholson Smith Williams Bendigo Little 4 Ladson Maddern Schultz Steinberg 2 Crow Davis Duscher Freezer Lee Martin Peoples Putt Best Casey Scorpions Couch Lees Nicholson Petterd Petropoulos Davis Bendigo Davis Lee Slattery Schultz Putt Thompson

RUMOURS by William from West Perth Rumour has it that over the off season Melbourne footballers trained harder and longer than they had ever done before. They ran long distances, sprinted, worked with weights and did it all to exacting programmes devised by some of the best credentialled sports scientists in the business. At the same time they were supposed to have worked on honing their skillsets and learning a new whiz bang game plan that would turn them from whacky and unpredictable pretenders into the hardest team in the competition to play against. Two weeks into the football season, we now know them only to be rumours. The blokes spent most of summer sitting on beaches, feasting on ice creams and sipping piña coladas. That's how it appeared as they went through the motions against a powerful, highly disciplined and motivated West Coast Eagles who thumped them mercilessly from pillar to post at Paterson's Stadium on their way to a record 108 point victory. Melbourne's resistance was pathetic from go to whoa (in the Demons' case, the whoa happened midway through the second term). The skills were deplorable as was the lack of pressure, poor tackling and the oh so predictable manner of delivery of the ball forward. Indeed, the biggest surprise was the fact that its full forward Mitch Clark managed to boot five goals (admittedly a couple were in junk time) given that he was often pitted against two opponents when the ball was shoddily delivered somewhere remotely near to his position on the ground. There were a few others such as James Magner and Nathan Jones who contributed but for the most part, the rest of the team would have been better of managing the 30 degree heat at Cottesloe Beach. The should have been joined by the umpires. It's true that West Coast's pressure caused the Demons to give away a number of free kicks but the Eagles didn't take long to cotton on to the fact that if they ducked their heads into a tackle, there were any number of gratuitous free kicks on offer. They tell me one of the umpires (Leppard) carries the nickname "Def" but fair dinkum, they might as well add "Blind" as well. Not that Melbourne was ever going to win or that there's any rule that states the number of free kicks should be equal but 21-1 at half time is virtually enough to ensure game, set and match to the beneficiaries. It sure doesn't do wonders for the confidence of a team that's been battered black and blue both on and off the field in the past week. Still, umpires, heat and a game plan that doesn't make sense aside, it was truly a deplorable performance and it certainly doesn't auger well for the rest of the year or decade if you must know. Melbourne 1.1.7 4.2.26 6.2.38 9.4.58 West Coast Eagles 4.3.27 11.8.74 19.14.128 25.16.166 Goals Melbourne Clark 5 Dunn Jones 2 West Coast Eagles Darling Lynch 4 Hams Hill S Selwood 3 Waters 2 Gaff Kennedy Kerr Naitanui A Selwood Shuey Best Melbourne Magner Jones Clark Watts McDonald West Coast S Selwood Priddis Hurn Gaff Shuey Darling Changes Melbourne Martin (hip) replaced by McDonald West Coast Nil Injuries Melbourne Nil West Coast Embley (shoulder) Reports MelbourneNil West Coast Nil Umpires Farmer Fila Leppard Crowd 35,674 at Subiaco