Earl Hood

Biff I thought you might have used your break to update your wardrobe, specifically your shirts, but obviously not. You weren't anywhere near FNQ were you?

Cheap hotel rates in cyclone season BBO? Or are you tenting it, if so watch out for crocs on the move?

Good to see a full page spread in today's Age (page 31) on your good self DC, the Ghost Who Walks. What I didn't know and you have kept to yourself, such is your modesty, is that you carried out a special assignment for Prime Minister Hawke back in 1992! What was that secret assignment, to take out Keating?

As my Christian Brother maths teacher used to beat into me so often, what are the units, boy? Numbers are meaningless without them!

Gee interesting chart there DC. I am amazed that there were only 139 bananas produced in 2012 and only 18 bananas exported in 2011, hardly seems it would be worth it. I mean I eat that many myself in a year so thank heavens we produce heaps of our own here in Oz.

Moons, I just want to confirm your point about punctuation!!!

True DC there is nothing scarier than the thought of President D Trump!

OD surely you meant that he says it before he thinks! Positively scary to think he could be in charge if something happened to No 1.

Is it time to talk guava paste instead?

Great memories Maca. I had the single or EP and Green River was the B side but that was my favourite song.

Hmmm men's final could be over very quickly at this rate. Murray doesn't look right.

Well that was some match, as good as I have seen in women's tennis. Great win by a girl who was not overwhelmed by the Williams circus and power game. Great effort

Kerber wins the first set! Finally a girl with a decent serve and ground strokes that can keep Serena in rallies and not get totally overwhelmed. Get Serena into rallies often enough and you will win. Now what is likely to happen now is Serena will try to get more intimidating and hope the newby cracks. Because Serena, great as she is, seems to be always playing someone who has never been to a Slam final, it is a huge advantage to have.

Et tu Bitter! That is all I can say. I haver never sought recognition as you know but yes if it was earned then so be it, thus the odd gong over the years. I would have thought my tireless work with the Hood Foundation, dedicated as it is for the rehabilitation of fallen equestrian polo players might have been recognised this year but it was not to be. But my efforts to help the poor Cubans of late are not recognised, especially here. As the first person to break the U.S. embargo I am their sole export market it seems, not for bananas as I thought but for tonnes of guava paste. My Fitzroy estate (now minus one maid) is full of shipping containers of guava! Perhaps Romsey Manner has some space? Can we do a deal? You provide storage space and I can provide pro bono consulting services for investments, SMSF, small business help etc. We are noted for turning around small enterprises such as yours, not unlike Gordon Ramsey's Hells Kitchens!

Really enjoying the Jokovic vs Federer battle tonight, especially when Channel 7 zooms in on Boom Boom Becker's reactions in the coaches box, as they do after every rally. Meant to add that nothing changes.

BBO For the record I don't have a cook, I have a three hat chief and it was his day off but that is irrelevant in this case. I am experimenting with guava paste to see how I can market this new taste sensation from the Carribean! On My recent trade mission to aid Cuba I thought I signed off on regular consignments of Cuban bananas, but the paperwork was in Spanish and I may have confused things somewhat. Anyway I am now receiving container loads of guava paste instead from the Communists. Who would have thought they would be so efficient? In response I am working on guava paste coffee at this point in time and I am also in fruitful discussions with Swisse multivitamins as I am sure my regular intake of guava paste recently has improved my backhand. That could be a big seller!

just finished a home made guava paste smoothie but being honest, it was rubbish!

BBO I am an experienced practitioner in Root Cause Analysis, give me a call if you need help. My consultancy provides services at competitive rates and there is a discount for Dland members!

Biff just checking can you send me the contact for the Mufti? I have several dozen kilos of guava paste on my hands from my misadventures in Cuba that could be of use to the Mufti at a suitable price of course. Guava fruit in its normal state can be be regarded as [censored] like by the demented or religious orders so is banned in many countries but my guava paste is very agnostic! It would be good to set up a deal with direct payment so I can get out of this bolt hole I have here just outside of Cancun in Mexico. Gee without my local friend Shorty Guzman I would be stuffed. He is happy to organise the money transfers with yourself for the guava transfer but also can provide finance for some of your other activities if you desire! Have I ever led you astray (lately?) The Earl

From the balmy island of Cozimel in Mexico, can I echo others and just say Feliz Navidad y un feliz año nuevo a todos en la tierra del diablo! May 2016 bring us all numerous victories and the ultimate destruction of the dark force, well I really mean Hawthorn here.

OD I suspect you are correct my Cuban banana deal is in tatters. I have been double crossed somewhere at the highest levels. I am currently licking my wounds in Cancun after being whisked out of Havana last night by my brother in law one step ahead of the local police chief. You may remember my brother in law sells vacuum cleaners in Havana, well the whole time I was there I never saw him sell one; I suspect he was so frustrated he started drawing pictures of vacuum cleaners as a side line I suppose to earn some pesos. I quite liked his sketches actually and remember showing them to a few of the regulars at the Wonder Bar where I would have my regular afternoon banana daiquiri. They were very interested in them so he had potential clients no doubt about it but when I mentioned this he went ballistic! Next thing I know we are all off to the airport to catch the first plane out? To add insult to injury I had my stash of real Cuban coffee, the Inner Party coffee confiscated by the communists at the airport customs. So I have nothing to show for my trade deals except a few kilos of guava paste! I suspect there will be no Cuban bananas in OZ anytime soon.

bj the way you describe it I may take up smoking again! Ernest, profit is everything but it is not about me, I do it only for the Syndicate and our share holders as you know.

Good God there must be Cuban bananas in OZ already! Fidel has gazumped me.

Hmmm Good point HT I have been negotiating in Cuban Pesos forgot about AUS $. At the moment I calculate that I can get them to market for about 71.40 Cuban Pesos/kg. The other point to make is that Cuban bananas bend the other way, to the left, rather than to the right as you are looking at them. Not sure if this will pose a marketing problem or not?

RL as I posted some time ago I am on the cusp of finalising a trade deal here in Havana that will ship bananas to OZ, as many as we need! This deal will be bigger than the Trans Pacific Partnership if it comes off. The paperwork is all but done but it still needs Fidel's final sign off but it is difficult to catch him when he is awake these days. Fingers crossed that there will be no banana shortage in my lifetime!