Bitter but optimistic

Well picked up Doctor, however you are rather tight fisted. I would have thought outrageously bad pun of the month at least

How very vulgar of you R&B. However I must confess to driving with my trousers down. Now before any of you jump to the conclusion that I'm some sort of pervert, allow me to explain. As you maybe aware, I have some connections in South America. This has allowed me to have my driver's seat hand crafted from the skins of hundreds of pygmy marmosets. They are cute and furry little creatures when alive but tan up to a very soft and sensuous leather when deceased. Makes a long drive bareable.

I'm done with you cretins! The squeeze is going to give me a massage while we watch a movie (don't care which one as I've just opened a free Heathcote Shiraz) . Ergo you can all GAGF!

To think of your sticky stained, chemically infected hands touching the precious symbol - ugh!

Barbarian.

What a bunch of crude ruffians I find myself associating with on Demonland. Do any of you plebs ( lawyers who have Rollers excepted) own Mercs? Upgrading one's Merc is a dignified affair. When the new model is imminent an "associate" from the dealership invites one to lunch. This takes several hours and the vulgarities of money are barely mentioned - especially when it comes to paying the bill. After several such sessions one "upgrades" - all very civilised.

How come you were off the drugs long enough to work that out?

In vino veritas. Selamat tidur.

Ha ha good point dc. I no longer give a FF!! I simply go with the version of spell cheque that the computer accepts.

It is the company I associate with that makes me quite cognizant of such distinctions dc!

It's marvelous what an illiterate Fl og can come up with. I wonder if Fl og is poor? To be poor and illiterate must be terrible. Like an accident of birth - such as being born in the Congo.

Well to be truthful, It wasn't actually a sale. I like to upgrade to the current model.

Sorry dc , I forgot you are from Borewood and obviously poor. My latex latest Merc was sold to me by a delightful young saleswomen.

If you had completed proper research Fl og, you would realize I'd already explained this case of mistaken identity. ( in fact I even mistook myself) Biff is a usurer Mable - he fits in well with lawyers and car salespersons.

Good point bb. Biffen's poor associates at the Gat aren't overly endowed ivory wise. Biffen himself used to confuse me because he had a big smile one day and a collapsed jaw the next. I thought it was to do with profit but it turned out he was sharing false teeth with one of his girls. It was dependent on the nature of the booking apparently. Anyway bb, i reckon cream cake , sponge etc would never be a problem but a big fruit cake - who knows?

But what about the poor people Jack - should they eat cake?

Ha!! I reckon Norm Gallagher played it to the hilt.

After a few gins.

Given your extensive "experience" with certain aspects of the legal system Biffen, I imagine you would have given a credible, if not quite Rumpole like performance. However, one aspect of the matter does leave me curious. What makeover did you undertake to present as a worthy citizen? You surely did not appear in your usual garish, stained and tasteless pimp attire? No one would lend you clothing surely? Did you steal it?

Even when the "fellow Dlander" rate was applied Red was still far too pricey for Biffen and his dodgy credit card. But, as you say there are plenty of others at the bar. You do any pro bono work Jack? A possible career change for you Doctor?

Not sure when we'll hear from Biffen again! I believe he had to front court over various "matters". Outcome uncertain I would think!

Well done my Lord, it took a member of the monied and sophisticated class to pick up on that! I was inside the mansion watching on the home cinema ( and sipping a red) at the time of that bizarre occurrence . I could hear the lads watching on the big screen in the barn begin honking and kicking the walls. I thought I'd entered some sort of space/time warp and was watching myself. Then I noticed the shirt was of poor quality and not tailor made. I had a nasty moment though.

Bit of a John Cleese look!!

Come on dc - you've seen those little girly above the knee skirts the Jordies wear. Then they make it worse by hanging some sort of scrotum substitute out the front !

Thank the Lord we do not have a large numbers of Scottish ancestry .. I'll take Arabs and Mussies over those blokes that wear dresses every time .