Bitter but optimistic

You had better stay in the colonies Biffen. I read today that tenants at The Gat are being served with exit notices! That means you'll be homeless. Don't expect an open door at The Manor either. Maybe you can pitch your swag next to Special Robert under the freeway.

You're a cunny funt Special but no way will I invite you to The Manor because you are still a person of poverty. However, you have leaped ahead of picket fence on the hopefuls list. Stick to your proper station in life under the freeway. It's what God ordained.

No masculinity crisis in Romsey Biffen. Only real men survive in these parts. Men with tinea that is masked only by a powerful flatulence and hidden under a hairy masculine gut torso.

Is the thread that can't be derailed finally being derailed?

It's hangover Monday so I don't intend getting too involved in a social issues debate Biz. However, while championing the female cause you make the astounding comment that in the court system, " female solicitors and barristers are thrown into a pit of 'live' verbal combat with an opponent (typically male given the gender disparity at the bar) - as a general rule, its a gladiatorial battle that they are simply not as equipped as men to succeed in". To my, admittedly simple mind, that is a vast and unsupportable generalisation that disparages women as having some sort of genetic intellectual/emotional/resilience weakness that disadvantages them in a contest with us blokes. I doubt any of the sheilas I know would agree with that and, in fact, I would consider it a dangerous suggestion to make.

Tell you what picket, how about you leave Kate and the booze at the gate and then pizz off!

It's a good bedtime read.

You can shove most of that stuff where the sun don't shine picket but a case of Pepperjack would be a step in the right direction. PS picket I know you consider yourself something of a film critic so I'd like your opinion. I just watched a quirky western called " Purgatory" (made in 1999). It was recommended to me by an old slightly dotty priest would you believe. Anyway I thought it was a real pizzer! Do you know it?

That could be difficult dc. It's one of the few change rooms where I don't have spy cameras set up

Well it really all comes down to context Red.

Never as bad as the spitting ferals at Windy Hill though Red.

Nah the pie shop's kosher picket but there are a couple of old sheilas at the Opp shop that I reckon might be "acquaintances" of dc - if you get my drift.

You should have taken my advice and chilled Biz, because having fired your shot you then had to expose yourself as just another weak debater who is left with nothing but the most base argument of all - personal attack.

Take some sort of a chill pill Biz (Biffen can supply them if needed) and don't take anything that is written here too seriously - especially on hangover Sunday morning.

How beastly of you Biffen! Don't you dare try to defile the reputation of the great man!

Of course, but their redeeming feature is wealth.

Peasants are still revolting.

Correct dc! Picket seems a dubious character at best and, to think he had the effrontery to try and get an invite to The Manor.

Your poor Old Uncle hasn't been able to respond to some of the offensive comments above due to being laid low with health issues. I have been afflicted by gout. Arrh, if only the sensitivity in my big toe could be transferred to other more useful areas. Anyway I've cut those beastly tomatoes out of my diet in a move to improve my health. I actually appealed to the good doctor Hopping Dick for some alchemic advice but now that he has discovered electricity, he seems to have become obsessed with its evil possibilities. Then the old choppers started acting up so a visit to my local dentist cum butcher was required. I must assure my avid readers that I tried to man up during the ordeal but , you know how it is, once the tears start ....... Very embarrassing, as even the receptionist was laughing at my unmanning. So in the face of all that, the slings and arrows of my jealous detractors count for little. However, I must defend against the accusation, from our dead alcoholic writer, that "floggings are a little passe these days" . What a silly comment. Where in the world or netherworld, could that be the case? Ernie, either return to the real world or go and bury yourself, properly this time, under some back alley bar in Havana. PS [censored] you too Biffen. It's about time you stopped being the ugly Australian in the colonies and returned to wallow among your own in the fetid inner suburban drug sub culture . PPS. I note in today's Age that the Germaine Greer Collection will be available to public researchers this month. No doubt Biffen will trot along to continue his studies into a subject close to his heart.

Perhaps you could send a dozen to The Manor OD and I'll give you the benefit of my destroyed palate.

Well things are a bit quiet here. I must say I'm a tad disappointed with the less than totally enthusiastic response to my return to Demonland. I thought Ernie, for example, would have been overcome with joy at my return. But nary a word. I know he's dead and all but that doesn't excuse rudeness. And what's happened to my old mate Stu? Oh and a bit of news. Biffen emailed me from the colonies. (BTW he's currently hunting those dangerous water buffaloes with an anti aircraft gun) He's begged me to tidy up some of his sordid business affairs. A nasty matter indeed but he's only offering a pittance for my services and want's to pay me in Dong. What a thankless world it is.

Biffen deserves a jolly good thrashing. I'm sure he'll be a reformed man after a few doses of the good Doctor Hopping Dick's electrodes.

Although I praised Special Robert (above) for his upward social mobility in moving to digs under the freeway, I fear that attending The Manor is an aspiration beyond you at this time picket. You may, however, drive past and admire my wealth. As to the size of the screen, it is like everything else at The Manor, outsize.

Don't expect a reply for a few days Moon - I believe Biffen is having a short term of rehab.

Unfortunately Special, I shall be watching the game, with the lads, in my luxurious home cinema at the manor. A young lady of Biffen's acquaintance shall be on serving duties. However, I am very pleased to see that you have moved up in the world. Thank you OD. A cursory reading supports your view.