Bitter but optimistic

That is possible Ethan but 47 showers in a day maybe taking cleanliness to the extreme.

Here's one I haven't heard before. Thought I'd share it with my fellow perverts. An old grandad goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra. "Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?" "I can cut them for you ' said the chemist " but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection." "I am 96 years old" said the old man . "I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t pizz on my slippers".

Not now - bad light!

FMD!! I've just seen the left arm wrist spinner bowl Burns. Ignore my above post!!

Compelling Test Cricket on Fox boys. I reckon this could be an historic win.

Risk taking with vanilla milkshakes! Contemplating riotous and licentious behaviour! You been watching Redtube again?

Bacchus goes ok Biff.

Now then adc, I'm going to insist that you present yourself to Stuie for a spanking!! Your "humour" is unwelcome on this intellectual thread as it is clearly degrading to the fair sex. I'm sure righteous posters such as ..... dc ... well perhaps not dc . Maybe Biffen ... (no he runs a brothel) ... Well anyway it will offend someone. In any event singling out ostriches in a derogatory comparison to the fair sex is also patently unfair. The Society for the Protection of Ostriches will be after you. Actually I believe our Green voter maybe offended. Sort it out with him!

arhh picket ! Like all lunatics you sometimes hit the mark! I must say I have no particular interest in Prince Albert. However, I'll admit there is much speculation about his nocturnal activities. As to Basil - my interest in him stems from his wonderful portrayal of the great detective. The films were largely inaccurate but Rathbone fit the Sherlock character better than any other. In fact I have quite a collection of Basil Rathbone memorabilia! Now here's a dark secret just for you picket. One of my many fantasies was to be a rich factory/sweathouse owner in the Victorian era. Make of that what you will!!

Well ..no. I'm figuring the hipster bosom would be a tad sweaty from bike riding or jogging the tan, so Earl's sheilas will get really excited over the manly odour of a randy alpaca who has just stomped a fox to death.

Let us hope your agility continues Earl. This little piece of arcane information may assist you in that regard. Hatchet Man - "late 19th century (originally US): figuratively, from an early use denoting a hired Chinese assassin" BTW Earl if you think any of the Hood female household needs a safe refuge during your difficult times, your ever reliable Uncle Bitter will welcome them into the bosom of Romsey Manor.

I imagine you have a number and variety of such ..... er "devices" picket!

Well what a [censored] disaster the footy was!! Your poor (now poorer) old Uncle Bitter was very confident of a win and, consequently, put a shiteload on the dees. Thankfully, I watched the disaster unfold from The Manor but at certain moments had temper issues and threw objects!! Well that caused mayhem - The Lads scattered, the dog [censored] on the floor and my missiles ( cans) damaged the walls. The squeeze is really [censored] off and it is likely that your uncle will be denied any er...... relationship pleasures for some considerable time. The only thing that would cheer me now is another's misfortune. Something along the lines of dc getting the pox or picket breaking a leg

Rather decadent for a planet saver I would have thought!

Well I'm sure you'll enjoy your own company this afternoon and your, no doubt, humble accommodation picket! However, we of the genteel class have far more refined tastes than you simple peons. Perhaps one day I shall send you photographs of the magnificent Manor. PS. Would you have attended today if Clarrie Choo Choo got a gig?

No, I have given up on Shitiad and will be viewing proceedings from Romsey Manor. Strange you should mention Moonie, as I have reliable information that he is spending the weekend at a snow resort. Apparently a Greeny slush fund was raided and Monnie and his latte sipping mates are snogging away at the apres ski. My friendship with Stu has been something of a letdown as the promised tickets to the corporate booth have not been forthcoming.

You attending dc?

You've risen early dc!! No overly strenuous activities last night? Or should that be "twice risen"?

Hey Biffen where do reckon dc tells those high society sheilas he lives? No one trying to impress would admit to Borewood. I'm guessing Mont Albert.

I'm sure they are honest hardworking people. Pass it on to picket dc .

Same happened on my computer dc - must be one of picket's porn sites.

"Deconstructed latte" !!!!!!!! Now I'm certain the world has gone mad.

At the risk of offending my former benefactor Earl Hood - hipsters fall into any undesirable category you can imagine dc. BTW - I guess hipsters are shot on site in Borewood?

Richard Wagner I presume.

An excellent observation.You have cut to the heart of the matter bb!!