Bitter but optimistic

Correct dc! Picket seems a dubious character at best and, to think he had the effrontery to try and get an invite to The Manor.

Your poor Old Uncle hasn't been able to respond to some of the offensive comments above due to being laid low with health issues. I have been afflicted by gout. Arrh, if only the sensitivity in my big toe could be transferred to other more useful areas. Anyway I've cut those beastly tomatoes out of my diet in a move to improve my health. I actually appealed to the good doctor Hopping Dick for some alchemic advice but now that he has discovered electricity, he seems to have become obsessed with its evil possibilities. Then the old choppers started acting up so a visit to my local dentist cum butcher was required. I must assure my avid readers that I tried to man up during the ordeal but , you know how it is, once the tears start ....... Very embarrassing, as even the receptionist was laughing at my unmanning. So in the face of all that, the slings and arrows of my jealous detractors count for little. However, I must defend against the accusation, from our dead alcoholic writer, that "floggings are a little passe these days" . What a silly comment. Where in the world or netherworld, could that be the case? Ernie, either return to the real world or go and bury yourself, properly this time, under some back alley bar in Havana. PS [censored] you too Biffen. It's about time you stopped being the ugly Australian in the colonies and returned to wallow among your own in the fetid inner suburban drug sub culture . PPS. I note in today's Age that the Germaine Greer Collection will be available to public researchers this month. No doubt Biffen will trot along to continue his studies into a subject close to his heart.

Perhaps you could send a dozen to The Manor OD and I'll give you the benefit of my destroyed palate.

Well things are a bit quiet here. I must say I'm a tad disappointed with the less than totally enthusiastic response to my return to Demonland. I thought Ernie, for example, would have been overcome with joy at my return. But nary a word. I know he's dead and all but that doesn't excuse rudeness. And what's happened to my old mate Stu? Oh and a bit of news. Biffen emailed me from the colonies. (BTW he's currently hunting those dangerous water buffaloes with an anti aircraft gun) He's begged me to tidy up some of his sordid business affairs. A nasty matter indeed but he's only offering a pittance for my services and want's to pay me in Dong. What a thankless world it is.

Biffen deserves a jolly good thrashing. I'm sure he'll be a reformed man after a few doses of the good Doctor Hopping Dick's electrodes.

Although I praised Special Robert (above) for his upward social mobility in moving to digs under the freeway, I fear that attending The Manor is an aspiration beyond you at this time picket. You may, however, drive past and admire my wealth. As to the size of the screen, it is like everything else at The Manor, outsize.

Don't expect a reply for a few days Moon - I believe Biffen is having a short term of rehab.

Unfortunately Special, I shall be watching the game, with the lads, in my luxurious home cinema at the manor. A young lady of Biffen's acquaintance shall be on serving duties. However, I am very pleased to see that you have moved up in the world. Thank you OD. A cursory reading supports your view.

Your good Old Uncle Bitter is back!! Just in time it seems, as this off course thread appears to be well off course, of course. Yes, I did another short stretch in rehab and, as a result, have spent some time in necessary convalescence. The good Doctor Hopping Dick applied the electrodes every meal time while I was force fed fried rice. Subsequently I cant walk past a Chinese take away without twitching and sobbing uncontrollably. The whole sorry business has impacted on my private life. My aim is now unsteady and my role as chief flogger is under threat. I am appalled that the oafish Biffen is wreaking havoc in the Asian Colonies. I may have to make a mercy dash over there to restore proper relationships. For the moment be aware that I am watching and will make any necessary interventions to restore this thread to its improper level of interlectual smartness.

Time for you to scat Biffen!

I've got the whole graveyard in my closet iv'a !

Still haven't heard from the good doc and he doesn't appear to handing out his usual indiscriminate thrashings. Is it possible the doc cavorted a little too enthusiastically during the abovementioned rites of summer and did himself a mischief?

I notice Biffen that you are very generous with my assets! I have previously refused Special any access to the Merc on the basis of his poverty. Now I'll grant you he seems a decent enough chap for one of that ilk but his need to stowaway on the "Princess" suggests little change in his state of penury.

Thank you Special. It seems you're not such a bad fellow after all. It so happens that I will making my first ever trek to Taswegia in early February so a report of your tailblazing trailblazing activities will be most helpful I'm sure.

Special, your input to this thread has been ........ err .... useful . I just need to reflect upon it for a little time. I also evidently need to drink more.

Special, you do realize you can't hitchhike to Tassie?

I doubt Biffen will be heading up country Earl. He is soft and enjoys creature comforts overmuch. Biffen is a denizen of the dark alley and dens of iniquity and rarely decamps from comfortable squalor .

You're all over it Ernie! I'm quite certain Biffen is going to Asia for reasons of pure self indulgence and pleasures of the flesh.

I would have thought it quite alimentary pineapple

Well of course not!! He's down in the barn enjoying the aircon and watching the large screen with the lads.

The cat is never in the bag at my establishment RL!

Now a question - probably best answered by Moonie or Earl Hood.. One of Uncle's many admirers produced a voucher to an eatery called Bopha Devi and I'm wondering whether or not I need to bun up to attend such a place?

Well hello Frogger! Been hiding in the swamp have you?

To all my many friends friend. To whoever might GAF about what I say - Happy Christmas! May your wine be excellent, your fantasies unlikely and your wallet undamaged.

No sane person would bb. At least not without the gear you would wear at a Chernobyl type of event.