and therein lies one example of what i hinted at
it's a qualitative, judgement based job. the moderator may or may not see it as someone copping it but the particular individual may
its analogous to how and who discrimination is perceived
remember it's not really voluntary and each participant will embrace it (or not) to different degrees
the job of the moderator requires the judgement of solomon sometimes
to add a bit of d_l philosophy "what breaketh one man may maketh another"
anyway as i said, in this case we have no choice but to put in our faith and hope that it works out well