Mazer Rackham

Who would they strongly argue that to? The Anti Fairness League The About Face League The Awfully Fickle League The Arbitrarily Functioning League Gil wouldn't even break stride

And that might be the reason why the AFL doesn't award them the medal. Can't sue for 4 years of lost "Brownlow winner" earnings if they never won it.

Satyr, it's Remembrance Day. No need to remind us of your horrific ignorance on the subject of drugs in sport.

Encounter an unprecedented drug regime and ask no questions Allow a quack to inject unknown stuff into you without checking with ASADA Let this happen multiple times Avoid telling drug testers that you're taking anything at all (apart from Panadol) Run away from the captaincy to swill beer at the Ashes Take your sweet time not doing the obvious, ie handing it back All class

Scene: AFL house. Gil McLachlan is dancing around his office. GM: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! (The door opens, Mark Evans enters) ME: what's up Gil? what's all the racket? Are you on that web site I showed you again? GM: Yes! Yes! Y-- oh, it's you, Mark. Great news. Unbelievable news. Really incredible. And no-one saw it coming! ME: Are you talking about the US election? I didn't think you were a Trump guy. GM: Oh, it's not that. It's better than that. (sings) It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the crop ... dut! ..... dut-dut-dut! ....... dut-dut-dut! ....... dut-dut-dahhhhhhhhh! (he starts shadow boxing) ME: Well? GM: It's Jobe, mate! He gave it back! He gave it back! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! It's the eye of the -- ME: I wouldn't have thought that's good news. Nothing to do with that whole mess is good news. GM: Yes, but it means I don't have to ... to make a ...... to ... to make a ... ME: What? GM: (whispers) ... the "D" word! ME: Decision? GM: Don't say it! Don't say it! You'll ruin the moment! ME: You know what this means, don't you? GM: Yes! I don't have to make a ......... dut! ........ dut-dut-dut! ..... ME: It means now we have to work out what to do about Mitchell and Cotchin. (GM freezes on the spot and turns white as a sheet) GM: You mean ..... it's the "D" word after all? ME: Yes. GM: Oh my god. Now I know how Hillary Clinton feels. ME: Come on Gil. Get a grip. Remember the other "D" word. GM: You're right. Get a grip Gil. You can see a way through this. You can-- I've got it!!! ME: What? GM: Find me two women who can be crazy girlfriends. It seems Mitchell and Cotchin might have hidden from drug testers in 2012! ME: Huh? An investigation of that could take years ... Of course! I take my hat off. You're a genius. GM: No, Mark. I'm better than that. I'm a Deal Maker.

And sure enough, on SEN ... this shows what amazing integrity he has. What a guy. If only he'd showed such amazing integrity when Dank was handing out his elephant juice, this whole thing might never have occurred. Well done, noble upstanding Jobe! (Not.)

They tried that at first. A beautiful Han dynasty porcelain horse's head. Gil was delighted. After that they realised they may have erred. So they've stepped it up a notch. Next will be threatening to drop Gil from the Town & Country polo team.

Look, Gil's under enormous pressure. You know his brother was trampled by a horse? That horse is owned by an Essendon coterie group. It was a warning. Gil knows he could be next, unless ...

In letting it get this far, the AFL have already shown the strength of their moral fibre. One thing that might explain his failure to do so could be that someone at AFL headquarters has told him they'll swing things so he can keep it. However that in turn exposes Jobe's moral fibre ... he shouldn't need to be told by anyone what he should do. There is one course of action. I have heard that athletes competing in Olympic sports here in Oz are stupefied by the entire EFC saga and the non-actions of the AFL. A 16 year old gymnastic had a gold medal stripped for taking two cold tablets. But Jobe can keep his Charlie? The AFL will rightly be a laughing stock.

I reckon Jobe was given a nod and a wink by the AFL early on in the saga that the Charlie was not at risk. That they'd pull strings, get the players off, voila, Charlie is a non issue. Now, the delay is all about how they reconcile that with the players going down and all avenues of appeal exhausted. Imagine if a p!ssed off Jobe went public...

"Before I answer, let me review the Dogs TV ratings and gate revenues."

They are shameless. Would they even notice? Now if a sponsor said they're disgusted and are pulling their dollars .........

It's well known that Cousins was not squeaky clean. But as you imply, there really is no comparison. Cousins was into "recreational" drugs, and although they can be performance enhancing, that's not why he took them. (Or so it appears from this distance.) Also he was in it for himself, not for any footy related reason. And, he was cunning enough to time his use so that the AFL testing regime, such as it was, never caught him. He's no angel, and probably lucky. Compare that to the coach-instituted team-wide doping programme at EFC, unprecedented and breath taking in its audacity.

Gil likes a challenge. "Everyone said he couldn't keep it! That the rules didn't allow it. That there was no way the comp could permit it. Well, who's laughing now? (Apart from me and Jobe, that is.)"

The number one rule of the AFL is that there are no rules. They do what they damn well feel like doing.

This sports lawyer is so invested in splitting hairs and throwing up clouds of legal obfuscation that he seems to have lost sight of his own assertion: "surely it's a fait accompli that Watson's Brownlow Medal, earned in the Bombers annus horribilis, will be stripped". I have more to say but am too disgusted at the thought that the AFL will adopt this character's line of thinking.

It means, "man who disgraced himself by the bad influence of ignoble people but who was able to redeem himself by leaving them and surrounding himself with wise and upstanding people instead".

Well Leigh Montanya is Mon-tag-na. And Yay-ger O'Meara pronounces it Jay-ger. We'll just have to ask Yibbity Yibbida how to say his name.

You know ... coz Lewis said Hogan signing was a big factor ... take it down a notch in class for Hibberd/Pedo ... oh never mind.

That's why he has managed to find a home in footy media.

At least let us finish our cigarettes.

No necessarily. We might have decided to knock this deal over to leave time for doing others. Rather than still having horns locked with EFC at 11:45 tomorrow. Spending pick 29 on Hibberd is hardly a disaster. "Money" well spent in fact.

It's said that this year's draft is a bit thin, so if we're not in the first round, it's not essential to hold on to this year's picks. Better to hold on to next year's picks.

What do they care? They are beyond shame.