Dateline: London 2am Tuesday Morning...... cannot sleep

I am in pain here… looking for a bit of sympathy.. I pinched a nerve in my back between the 4^th and 5^th lumbar vertebrae. Having experienced the resulting  pain of this pinch, I would not wish it on Alex Rance. (I would but I wanted to appear very PC in case there are impressionable children reading)

Last week I tipped 7 out of a possible 9; running total 34. Bloody Aints could not get up and The Duckers are making me look bad by losing to the Boos.

Before I go on to the games I would like to address the wonderful entertainment that was the Tiges’ supporters defence of their god botherer fullback. I cannot believe some were going for the ‘Smack the ground in frustration’ defence. I mean there you are less than an arm’s length away from two objects. One is Jack Watt’s head, about the size of a half deflated basketball, the other is the earth, 12,742 kms in diameter. While I acknowledge that they were in close proximity, just how inaccurate do you have to be to miss the large object you are aiming for and hit the half deflated basketball?

That was a rhetorical question but I will answer it. About as accurate as 47% of the Tiges’ disposals.

Now for the Games

And what a cracker to start with….

1^st against 2^nd …Norf Vs the Dogs at the home of foot…. Wait a minute, they have got it wrong, surely… the AFL have it listed at the Home away from Home and neither of these teams are from interstate….

Could be the match of the round on Friday night football and with the Dees up first thing on Saturday that leaves another 7 matches for me to find something of interest.

Norf beat the Sons last week … hmmm been sitting here trying to come up with an angle on this win to make myself appear witty and intelligent…. No surprise I came up empty handed.

The Doggies pleased the Tepid Tea (Lukewarm Beveridge for those that have not been following closely) with a win over Leppa’s Pride…. I like the doggies better than I like Scotts Team.

Prediction: Doggies to end Norf’s unbeaten run by a couple.

 

Saturday already… you beauty!

First up The Mighty Dees Vs the Aints at… ya gotta be kidding me! This is a Dees home game….. I will never understand some decisions by either the ALF or the dirty maggots.

It would seem that Roos has done a Dr Frankenstein on my team with the assistance of his faithful hunchback servant, Igor (Goodwin). Been working on it for a couple of years now. First gave it a bit of backbone and a few other bits and pieces. Followed that up with a bit of brain and heart and finished it off with some muscle. In the off season he gave it a jolt of lightning to bring it to life and voila! And he has created a monster…..well not quite yet but he will get there. Oh yeah, he threw in a bugg just to annoy people.

Like ya work Doc!

The Almost Aints’ Richo likened his team to a crowded council bus….. carrying a few too many passengers against the Gnats…. Keep it up Richo and one day you may win Presser Bingo

Prediction: Dees by a lot….. I jumped on the wagon….Go, you good things!

 

Still Saturday but who really cares? Dees game- tick …..match of the round-tick….. and a wasteland of fixtures stretches out in front of us….

And we start off with this stinker… Cows Vs Duckers at the ground shaped like an oval in Adelaide.

Shoot me now…. I have yo find something to say about this pile???

Well let’s see what happened to these two last week….. the Cows came a close second to the Dorks after leading by the length of Flemington straight with a couple of hundred meters to go. Now that takes a rare talent. Pyke was ‘disappointed but really proud’.. yeah, nah.. tell us what you really think.

For Ross the Boss it was another Loss and I am sure he is still ‘identifying’ what is wrong. As Sherlock Holmes says “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

It’s the game plan stupid!!!

Prediction: R the B looking at 0-6… cows to win it.

 

Gnats Vs Dorks at SPO… no idea and do not want to know….SPO????

I amdoing it haRD HERE with the back pain….

Had to go and have a nanna nap to ease the pain. Had breakfast and a coffee so this next bit might be a bit better. Back is still carp.

Ok Gnats and Dorks…. Gnats  rolled the Aints last week and are purring along… Can Gnats Purr?   Cammers in his presser did not get into the spirit of things and sprouted some basic rubbish about running and form…. Not at all exciting.

Dorks have become the Line Team…..  as in Fall over the line… Hard to believe that the Cows gave that one up last week and Clarko sounded like he could not believe his luck…..

Prediction: Gnats to win it….. Dorian Grey portrait to fade a little more.

 

God, just when I thought it could not get any worse….

Inepts Vs TOT from Adelaide at the Home of Football…

Saturday evening, Round 6 and hey serve up a pile like this?.... must have looked like a good fixture when the draw was announced….

We all know what happened to the Inepts last week at the hands of the Mighty Dees. They are in a world of pain. Rance has apologies for being human, Hardon has apologized for being coach and the team has apologized for being intimidated by Bugg.

They should sack Hardon and bring in a guest coach each week. They could sell it like sponsorship. Maybe first up they could have Madam Lash from the Daily Planet (that still exist?) she might actually harden them up a bit and give them some sting.

Port lost the plot after the brawl at quarter time…. Could not have scored with a fist full of dollars at the Daily Planet. Hinkers has decided to take it a quarter at a time. First quarter last week…. Maybe the second quarter this week. Hinkley…DMW

Prediction: This is a Bi game… It could swing either way. In the context of the season it matters not…. TOT from Adelaide to not lose it…. And the winner will be the ad breaks.

 

At the same time as the last game The Handbaggers take on the Sons of Ablett at Kardy Park

Son of Ablett returns to his spiritual home this Saturday but don’t expect him to leave a winner. The Sons are not at their best and the handbaggers will do them no favours. Wow, I sound very professional in those last couple of sentences. Scary stuff.

The handbaggers won it all last week in the city that time forgot… the game the fight…all of it.

And they have Danger… have the feeling he is papering over the cracks and they are middle of the road this year.

Prediction: Handbaggers easy

 

Sunday and we are in the home stretch..

Leppa’s Pride Vs The Swannies at the other “G”

Swannies by how much? Blubby to kick 10 and Horse to speak really slowly during his presser.

How is that? You read this and end up getting  three predictions for the price of one. Of the three games this Sunday this is the one I have lowest interest in. Two East coast clone teams try to make AFL relevant somewhere up north.

Prediction: Siddelly by more than a few

 

Oh Dear me….OH….Dear…..Me…

I have mentioned relevance… now for meaningless

TDC Vs the Boos at The ‘G’

What to say about this? When I was a kid I used to go to the movie matinee on the weekend. It was usually a double bill with a B grade shocker on the first half of the bill before the interval. You know the type…Tarzan and the Apemen, where Tarzan with the help of a chimp wins the day.

Well, view this game the same as that type of movie except that there are no ‘goodies’ and very much B- grade.

TDC should not be allowed to play on this ground.

 

Prediction: Boos to win… TDC deserve to lose

 

Last one of the round over in the West… The Ex-Druggies Vs The rubbish

I have had a good look at this game, analysed the living suitcase out of it and cannot see it being of interest to a normal person unless you have the first 8 tipped of the round and are looking to get up in this one for a perfect NINE.

I have no kind words for either of these teams and my gran always said that if you cannot say something nice about someone than STFU. Wise woman my gran.

Prediction: Ex-Druggies to step up over the Rubbish(hate ‘em)

Another one done and dusted… back still sore

 

Forgot the quote... One for Rance

 

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes through to the bone."   Dorothy Parker

  On 26/04/2016 at 09:19, CHF said:

Dateline: London 2am Tuesday Morning...... cannot sleep

 

I am in pain here… looking for a bit of sympathy.. I pinched a nerve in my back between the 4^th and 5^th lumbar vertebrae. Having experienced the resulting  pain of this pinch, I would not wish it on Alex Rance. (I would but I wanted to appear very PC in case there are impressionable children reading)

 

Last week I tipped 7 out of a possible 9; running total 34. Bloody Aints could not get up and The Duckers are making me look bad by losing to the Boos.

 

Before I go on to the games I would like to address the wonderful entertainment that was the Tiges’ supporters defence of their god botherer fullback. I cannot believe some were going for the ‘Smack the ground in frustration’ defence. I mean there you are less than an arm’s length away from two objects. One is Jack Watt’s head, about the size of a half deflated basketball, the other is the earth, 12,742 kms in diameter. While I acknowledge that they were in close proximity, just how inaccurate do you have to be to miss the large object you are aiming for and hit the half deflated basketball?

 

That was a rhetorical question but I will answer it. About as accurate as 47% of the Tiges’ disposals.

 

Now for the Games

 

And what a cracker to start with….

 

1^st against 2^nd …Norf Vs the Dogs at the home of foot…. Wait a minute, they have got it wrong, surely… the AFL have it listed at the Home away from Home and neither of these teams are from interstate….

 

Could be the match of the round on Friday night football and with the Dees up first thing on Saturday that leaves another 7 matches for me to find something of interest.

 

Norf beat the Sons last week … hmmm been sitting here trying to come up with an angle on this win to make myself appear witty and intelligent…. No surprise I came up empty handed.

 

The Doggies pleased the Tepid Tea (Lukewarm Beveridge for those that have not been following closely) with a win over Leppa’s Pride…. I like the doggies better than I like Scotts Team.

 

Prediction: Doggies to end Norf’s unbeaten run by a couple.

 

 

 

Saturday already… you beauty!

 

First up The Mighty Dees Vs the Aints at… ya gotta be kidding me! This is a Dees home game….. I will never understand some decisions by either the ALF or the dirty maggots.

 

It would seem that Roos has done a Dr Frankenstein on my team with the assistance of his faithful hunchback servant, Igor (Goodwin). Been working on it for a couple of years now. First gave it a bit of backbone and a few other bits and pieces. Followed that up with a bit of brain and heart and finished it off with some muscle. In the off season he gave it a jolt of lightning to bring it to life and voila! And he has created a monster…..well not quite yet but he will get there. Oh yeah, he threw in a bugg just to annoy people.

 

Like ya work Doc!

 

The Almost Aints’ Richo likened his team to a crowded council bus….. carrying a few too many passengers against the Gnats…. Keep it up Richo and one day you may win Presser Bingo

 

Prediction: Dees by a lot….. I jumped on the wagon….Go, you good things!

 

 

 

Still Saturday but who really cares? Dees game- tick …..match of the round-tick….. and a wasteland of fixtures stretches out in front of us….

 

And we start off with this stinker… Cows Vs Duckers at the ground shaped like an oval in Adelaide.

 

Shoot me now…. I have yo find something to say about this pile???

 

Well let’s see what happened to these two last week….. the Cows came a close second to the Dorks after leading by the length of Flemington straight with a couple of hundred meters to go. Now that takes a rare talent. Pyke was ‘disappointed but really proud’.. yeah, nah.. tell us what you really think.

 

For Ross the Boss it was another Loss and I am sure he is still ‘identifying’ what is wrong. As Sherlock Holmes says “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

 

It’s the game plan stupid!!!

 

Prediction: R the B looking at 0-6… cows to win it.

 

 

Gnats Vs Dorks at SPO… no idea and do not want to know….SPO????

 

I amdoing it haRD HERE with the back pain….

 

Had to go and have a nanna nap to ease the pain. Had breakfast and a coffee so this next bit might be a bit better. Back is still carp.

 

Ok Gnats and Dorks…. Gnats  rolled the Aints last week and are purring along… Can Gnats Purr?   Cammers in his presser did not get into the spirit of things and sprouted some basic rubbish about running and form…. Not at all exciting.

 

Dorks have become the Line Team…..  as in Fall over the line… Hard to believe that the Cows gave that one up last week and Clarko sounded like he could not believe his luck…..

 

Prediction: Gnats to win it….. Dorian Grey portrait to fade a little more.

 

 

 

God, just when I thought it could not get any worse….

 

Inepts Vs TOT from Adelaide at the Home of Football…

 

Saturday evening, Round 6 and hey serve up a pile like this?.... must have looked like a good fixture when the draw was announced….

 

We all know what happened to the Inepts last week at the hands of the Mighty Dees. They are in a world of pain. Rance has apologies for being human, Hardon has apologized for being coach and the team has apologized for being intimidated by Bugg.

 

They should sack Hardon and bring in a guest coach each week. They could sell it like sponsorship. Maybe first up they could have Madam Lash from the Daily Planet (that still exist?) she might actually harden them up a bit and give them some sting.

 

Port lost the plot after the brawl at quarter time…. Could not have scored with a fist full of dollars at the Daily Planet. Hinkers has decided to take it a quarter at a time. First quarter last week…. Maybe the second quarter this week. Hinkley…DMW

 

Prediction: This is a Bi game… It could swing either way. In the context of the season it matters not…. TOT from Adelaide to not lose it…. And the winner will be the ad breaks.

 

 

 

At the same time as the last game The Handbaggers take on the Sons of Ablett at Kardy Park

 

Son of Ablett returns to his spiritual home this Saturday but don’t expect him to leave a winner. The Sons are not at their best and the handbaggers will do them no favours. Wow, I sound very professional in those last couple of sentences. Scary stuff.

 

The handbaggers won it all last week in the city that time forgot… the game the fight…all of it.

 

And they have Danger… have the feeling he is papering over the cracks and they are middle of the road this year.

 

Prediction: Handbaggers easy

 

 

 

Sunday and we are in the home stretch..

 

Leppa’s Pride Vs The Swannies at the other “G”

 

Swannies by how much? Blubby to kick 10 and Horse to speak really slowly during his presser.

 

How is that? You read this and end up getting  three predictions for the price of one. Of the three games this Sunday this is the one I have lowest interest in. Two East coast clone teams try to make AFL relevant somewhere up north.

 

Prediction: Siddelly by more than a few

 

 

 

Oh Dear me….OH….Dear…..Me…

 

I have mentioned relevance… now for meaningless

 

TDC Vs the Boos at The ‘G’

 

What to say about this? When I was a kid I used to go to the movie matinee on the weekend. It was usually a double bill with a B grade shocker on the first half of the bill before the interval. You know the type…Tarzan and the Apemen, where Tarzan with the help of a chimp wins the day.

 

Well, view this game the same as that type of movie except that there are no ‘goodies’ and very much B- grade.

 

TDC should not be allowed to play on this ground.

 

 

 

Prediction: Boos to win… TDC deserve to lose

 

 

 

Last one of the round over in the West… The Ex-Druggies Vs The rubbish

 

I have had a good look at this game, analysed the living suitcase out of it and cannot see it being of interest to a normal person unless you have the first 8 tipped of the round and are looking to get up in this one for a perfect NINE.

 

I have no kind words for either of these teams and my gran always said that if you cannot say something nice about someone than STFU. Wise woman my gran.

 

Prediction: Ex-Druggies to step up over the Rubbish(hate ‘em)

 

Another one done and dusted… back still sore

 

 

 

Cows, Dorks, ex-druggies, the rubbish, leppas pride, the boos, handbaggers, gnats, duckers. ? what are you? 12?