INTO DARKNESS: THE BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS by The Oracle

[Demonland 70,250]

INTO DARKNESS: THE BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS by The Oracle

Following Melbourne these days is like waking up from a bad dream.

It was only two or three weeks ago that things were looking up after that 12 goal final quarter against GWS and a dwindling injury list gave us some hope of better things to come. Even the defeat at the hands of Brisbane at the Gabba didn't seem so bad given the losing margin was contained to a margin of slightly less than five goals.

But all of a sudden and almost in the blink of an eye, our worst nightmare was realised. A home game against the Gold Coast Suns, several key players injured and unavailable and the team runs out in front of its last remaining 13 thousand or so supporters and it produces an inept, soul destroying, non-competitive, soft performance that highlights that, apart from possibly GWS, it is the AFL's easiest team to play against.

There were few redeeming features, most provided by young blokes like Jack Viney and Max Gawn who tried their hearts out, lion-hearted new skipper Nathan Jones despite having to fight off a hard tag and Jeremy Howe. Mature age newcomers Matt Jones and Dean Terlich battled hard but that was it - many of the others were spectators, wasting our time and standing around like stale laboratory samples.

Nothing went right and the team was penalised heavily for simply being inept and inert, unwilling to chase and work anywhere near hard enough, especially against a young team willing to run and spread into the empty spaces its opposition appeared to be too lazy or simply physically unable to fill. They moved from defence to attack without resistance. In that respect, Melbourne has advanced not a single inch since it hosted the last Queensland team it played against at home in the opening round of 2012 when Mark Neeld coached his first game.

Since then he's produced a team that's good only at botching things up like running too far and giving up an easy goal or standing around watching the footy do four or five leg breaks before finding its way between the big sticks or blowing any chance of a second half comeback by giving away a free in front goal before proceedings have even started - all characteristic of teams that are simply not switched on or awake.

The night before the game I had a dream in which I saw the legendary Hawthorn coach John Kennedy delivering his famous plea to his players and bellowing out loud:

"DO SOMETHING!"

In my dream, he was addressing Neeld and his panel of coaches but they did nothing. Couldn't even get the team to produce a half decent tackle count. It didn't take long for the dream to come true.

But if fingers are to be pointed at the coach and his assistants for the disaster that unfolded at the MCG on Mothers Day, then they should also be pointed at the fitness and conditioning people because to their shame, the Demons couldn't even run out a game better than the Suns who finished a couple of players short because of injury. And that must surely be a fitting epitaph to one of our worst nightmares.

Melbourne 0.2.2 3.7.25 4.10.34 7.12.54

Gold Coast Suns

5.5.35 9.8.62 14.12.96 16.18.114

Goals

Melbourne

Howe 3 Gawn 2 Strauss Sylvia

Gold Coast Suns Brown Smith 3, Hall Lynch 2 Bennell Day Harbrow McKenzie May Shaw

Best

Melbourne Howe Viney N Jones Gawn Terlich M Jones

Gold Coast Ablett Bennell Shaw Brennan Smith Thompson

Injuries

Melbourne 13,000 fans (broken hearts)

Gold Coast Brennan (concussion) Murphy (concussion)

Changes

Melbourne Nil

Gold Coast Nil

Reports

Melbourne Colin Sylvia for allegedly striking Jared Brennan

Gold Coast Nil

Umpires McBurney Armstrong Harris

Crowd 13,304 at the MCG