A STROKE OF GOOD FORTUNE by Whispering Jack

A stroke of good fortune enabled me to attend Sunday's St. Kilda v Melbourne game at the Telstra Dome for free courtesy of a friend who supports the Saints and who had a spare ticket. As a result, I almost got my money's worth although from this day on I will forever ask myself why on earth did I stay at the venue for the full duration.

We should have known at the thirty second mark of the first quarter exactly what the handful of Demon supporters who came to the Darklands to sit among the throngs of feral Saint supporters would endure during the afternoon. That was point in time when Russell Robertson took a mark in the goal square only to inexplicably play on and slip the ball in the direction of goal but not before it was smothered through for a rushed behind by a bemused and incredulous Max Hudghton.

So, for a brief moment in time the Demons held the lead but then they were physically monstered by a team that had been labelled as "soft" by their coach only seven days previously. Throughout the week one felt that such a result was inevitable as the derisive attacks on the Saints' collective manhood rose to a crescendo and the realisation came that they faced a game which, if lost, meant the end of their season.

For their part, the Demons, so full of promise on the MCG against the Hawks seven days earlier, were devoid of anything close to the aggression and passion they displayed in the David Neitz farewell game. Perhaps inconsistent form is to be expected with a young side disrupted by five team changes but, in the end, it became a shambles and the side simply did not match up well against its opposition in terms of ability or physicality

After Robbo's brain fade, the rest of the first quarter saw Melbourne fumble, drop marks, handball and kick to opponents more often than not and it should have been well out of the game by the first break bar for the one saving grace to that stage - the fact that St. Kilda was only marginally less incompetent.

Believe it or not, the second and third quarters saw a marked deterioration in the Demons' standard of play. The scoreboard told the tale by the final change as Melbourne had added just one major (from a 50 metre penalty) to the two it scored in the first stanza.

Really, it was pitiful to see Robbo manning his position in front of goal constantly shadowed by not one but by two taller opponents with no apparent spare man to crumb the ball in the event it hit the ground. Brad Miller was trying his hardest in his 100th game but he was drawn far and wide. At one stage we were treated to the embarrasing spectacle of a 176cm tall Austin Wonaeamirri competing for a mark at the centre half forward position against Sam Fisher who had a 15cm height advantage over the young Demon who didn't have the best of days. Fisher got 27 touches and claims he still isn't aware of his opponent's identity. I'm going to email him a photo of the person in question so that he knows next time.

The youngsters who did so well last week in defence - Colin Garland, Matthew Warnock and James Frawley all struggled and the backline really missed the steadiness and experience of Jared Rivers and Matthew Whelan. That said, those blokes will undoubtedly have gained a lot from the day. Garland was run ragged by Riewoldt but he would have learned so much from the experience. Though the Saints' skipper marked everything in sight and assisted in a few terrific forward thrusts, he was kept down to one goal for the day. Add that to the mere three conceded to Buddy Franklin a week earlier and you would have to say that Garland's last two games haven't been all that bad!

The loss of Robertson with an Achilles injury has just about put paid to the traditional forward set up at the club and Dean Bailey now has the task ahead of him to rebuild his attack from the ground up starting this week. It won't be easy on centre stage against the old enemy on Queens Birthday but he would hopefully have noted the effectiveness of the Saints' crumbers Schneider and Milne who between them outscored his own side.

I try very hard to find positives but they were few and far between. James McDonald and Matthew Bate worked hard and Adem Yze was the busiest of the forwards with three goals. Paul Wheatley got a lot of the ball but so did his opponent. We were pretty woeful starting in the rucks where Jeff White renewed acquaintances with his old nemesis in Steven King and put in a shocker (possibly waiting for another kick in the head?). Paul Johnson did a little better but a revamp in this area is also on the cards.

Other than that, we were beaten just about everywhere and Dean Bailey was outcoached on the day but he really didn't have the material given that by the end he was working with his second tier spine and without Aaron Davey - one of the few players in the side who can turn a game off his own boot.

No review of the spectacle of Melbourne's round 10 humiliation would be complete without mentioning the ridiculous attire its players were forced to wear on the day. There's an old Bulgarian saying which roughly translated says, "if you dress like a clown, you play like a clown" and it fits the impact on the team of the Demons' clash jumper to a tee.

This execrable outfit is a graphic nightmare that doesn't even serve the purpose for which it was intended. I was of the understanding that the concept of having a "clash" jumper was to avoid a clash of colours and not to create a clash. It surely must be obvious to all but the fools at the AFL that it is more likely to be confused with the Saints' colours than is the traditional Demon jumper?

But there's something more serious about this piece of drek that is yet to be worn by a victorious Melbourne team - it represents much of what is wrong with the club today. As Vlad the Impaler recently said, "Melbourne doesn't stand for anything these days," and this is exactly what this jumper stands for: nothing other than the loss of the Demon spirit developed over the years, particularly during the club's successful eras.

Our history tells us that we were an ordinary club travelling nowhere when a man named "Checker" Hughes came along and transformed us from the bland "Fuchsia" to the fearsome "Demon" carrying a menacing trident and bearing a threatening demeanour highlighted by horns and fanged teeth from which opposition blood was dripping. These days we look more like Ritchie Cunningham carrying a briefcase - bland and incapable of frightening anybody!

It's time to reclaim that old Demon spirit and to get back to the days when we were feared by all. There's a long, long way to go but the first step must be the symbolic one of restoring the tough, unrelenting Demon personna and image to the club. When they give that back together with the red and blue (only) colours that have always been an integral part of our make up, I'm sure more strokes of good fortune will follow.

St. Kilda 5.4.34 10.6.66 12.12.84 19.15.129

Melbourne 2.2.14 3.4.22 3.6.24 7.8.50

Goals

St Kilda Schneider 5 Milne 3 Birss Koschitzke 2 Ball Dal Santo Dempster Gram Jones Montagna Riewoldt

Melbourne Yze 3 Bruce Dunn Robertson Sylvia

Best

St Kilda Fisher Gram Riewoldt Schneider Dal Santo Montagna Ball

Melbourne McDonald Bate Johnson Wheatley Garland Sylvia

Injuries

Melbourne Robertson (Achilles) Bate (hand)

Umpires M Head M Stevic S Stewart

Official crowd 27,854 at Telstra Dome.

A STROKE OF GOOD FORTUNE by Whispering Jack

Our history tells us that we were an ordinary club travelling nowhere when a man named "Checker" Hughes came along and transformed us from the bland "Fuchsia" to the fearsome "Demon" carrying a menacing trident and bearing a threatening demeanour highlighted by horns and fanged teeth from which opposition blood was dripping. These days we look more like Ritchie Cunningham carrying a briefcase - bland and incapable of frightening anybody!

Warnock was better than Garland. You say Riewoldt only kicked one but he dished off four or five not to mention dominating further up the ground.