Seve Ballesteros

Just back from a long overseas stint and I've been sifting through these preseason training reports. Frankly, I'm more than a little disappointed not to hear that Col Sylvia is going gangbusters at training and that this is going to be his year at last. Absolutely devastated!!!

Fancy a game of golf, Mr. Shankar.

The slander against my good name is preposterous.I have seen photographs and it is impossible for me, a dark, handsome and well bred Spaniard to make ficky, ficky with this person. Could I suggest this is a case of mistaken identity? Perhaps, my very good friend Manuel from Barthelona?