Red and Bluebeard

Obviously not!

Call me a diehard old traditionalist if you wish (be nice, Old Dee ) but one thing I am looking forward to for the Port game is that it is a "red ball" game, ie one played around the traditional starting time of 2.00, and completed without lights. My introducton to the Dees was going to games as a kid with my Dad, which back in those days was always on a Saturday afternoon. So for mine, there is no sight in footy quite like the MCG on a sunny winter afternoon with a bright red Sherrin being kicked around. I notice that for some reason all the rest of our home-and-away games are red ball ones (with the possible exception of the floating Round 23 game against the filth), so it a red ball festival for the next few weeks. When reflecting on this, it came to me that I really don't like the yellow balls used in twilight or night games. I can't put a rational reason on it (well, we are Demons supporters, so rhyme and reason ain't the prime thing ), but somehow the yellow ball just doesn't look right. I understand that the lights mean the red ball probably isn't practical, but there must be a better colour than yellow. Bright pink? (like in one of the Pink Lady games). Glow-in-the-dark green? (not the tennis ball colour, more like the 1970s game Green Ghost). Orange? Even gold? (think the snitch in Harry Potter). I don't have a clear idea of what works best, but just about anything works better than yellow for me. Perhaps it is not beyond the bounds of technology to have a ball that lights up when kicked -- imagine that with Hunt's torp the other night! If the cricketers can make Test cricket work at night with a pinkish ball rather than a white one, then surely so can footy. I don't suppose we can ever hope to use a red and blue ball in our home games, but a man can dream ...

Especially if it is a banana milkshake ... Red, what is footy discussion doing on this thread?

Having a listen now to last night's podcast with Andy and WJ. Interesting to hear Old Dee and Beelzebub referred to as the old guard, and of the demise of Wong's in Glenhuntly Road. What other pearls of wisdom will be revealed, I wonder?

Just warn me if you identify demonland's very own Mark Antony ...

Thanks. Anyone can have a bad day ...

Well, Earl, as is plastered in probably every footy shed in the land, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". So how about some leadership from the supposedly upper-class amongst us? Where is the latest epic description of the difficulties faced by an entrepreneur such as yourself in fair-trade single-origin banana smoothies made from low-fat ingredients? Or gluten-free cronuts sourced sustainably? Or the dramas caused by Conchita in parts far-flung when attempting to organise your latest tour of archaelogically interesting sh!tholes with cheap food and passable coffee? Or the stress caused by the lack of the right kind of chamois required to clean the towball on the Rolls? Come on man, step up!

Well, according to a certain US President, there are only three types of information: good news, fake news, and covfefe. Which is this?

Yeah, we can't have Red getting Blue ...

That cannot be a serious question Earl. Of course you cannot wear that under any circumstances. Perhaps donate the scarf on the way to some poor homeless type (I am sure there are a few that can be found in that harbourside place), and if that goes well, do the same with the jumper. Failing that, you could accidentally spill your drink all over it, thus ruining the fabric. You could also say you are carrying it for the Sheedy-type wave, and then just not be able to hang onto it once you have whipped up a good speed (but perhaps aim for the nearest bin whilst doing so, just to be sure). Or maybe just polish your shoes with it before you go, and then use it as a bin liner. But surely Conchita can deal with this for you?

I get it ... second banana .... Boom boom!

Not even when Oliver kicks one?

So anytime now ...

Today of all days that should be no crow unstoned ...

Do you mean to say that each page has the same number of posts in it? Wow ... Next thing you'll be telling me that bananas are bent ...

This one might ...

Only not as funny and about half the pace.

Sounds like a painful surgical procedure or some demonic breakfast poison ...

Entirely correct - there was no first half. The little league started an hour early, but eventually someone realised that they had a mixture of the keystone cops and the benny hill show out there, pulled them off and got the youngsters on, which improved the skill levels by about 4000%. After that there were two quarters of AFL footy, and then everyone went home.

Well, the Smith curse bit might be right. Joel Smith gets a serious injury 15 minutes into his AFL debut, and Tim Smith gets a bad knee 1.5 matches into his career. All we need now is a banana shortage, and we can conclude we are cursed ...

That's a bit stiff, even for Biff.

To quote Biff, perhaps attempt something that is actually possible

Dunno. Some waanker ...

Clarence Coward is definitely not happening ...

Somehow Clarence Daisycutter doesn't have quite the same ring to it