Bitter but optimistic

Everybody loves their Uncle Bitter, Moonie.

Yeah Biffen will have a pair of dark sunnies on him and a tin in his hand. Couldn't imagine you'd make money out of him any other way!

The only thing that may have drawn Moonie back from the depths of depravity was Lordweaver's cane. (Note how it made a better man of me). However since Lordweaver appears to have gone to a better place - I must conlude that Moonie is [censored]. Throwing his his lot in with Biffen will only makes matters worse. Biffen will exploit him and he will be doubly [censored].

Where are the sickos - Moonie and Biffen - tonight? Just asking.

Get back to your immoral dalliances with the blue rinsers dc,the only authority that I will accept a judgement from is Lordweaver.

Biff - must I remind you of your place in society. You are a successful entrepreneur and exploiter of the unfortunate. However, let us consider your usual associates - bohemian types, prostitutes, perverts, deviants, molesters of various hues etc etc. I know you secretly aspire to social climbing but Romsey is beyond you. Keep your goals within reason ( and at about the same level as Moonie and, I suspect Frosty) I don't mean to be hurtful Biff - consider this tough love.

Just let me clarify Moonshadow’s rather idiosyncratic way of dealing with the facts. (In other words he is bull shiting) True. I did sit next to Moonie at the game - because no one else appeared to want to. True. I did cover my seat with ease but to suggest I needed more than one seat is somewhat exaggerated . BTW The ox has a bigger ar se than me. True. I did guzzle quite an amount of beer. However, not only did Moonie slurp an equal amount but he became increasingly loud and abusive and frightened a child that was sitting in front of us. I maintained decorum at all times. The knee touching incident was quite accidental of course. BTW 1. I exceeded my pb at the gym and did a solid 1 &1/2 minutes on the treadmill. BTW 2. Moonie would not fit into a refined society such as the gentry of Romsey. Possibly even Borewood would be beyond him. However I'm sure he would fit right into Biffen's social circle.

Just heading off to the gym. Aiming for a pb on the treadmill - although a minute does seem a long time. A solid workout then on to Darklands. Meeting some of the lower classes today - I suppose a little humility will be good for me.

At least spread your ill gotten wealth around and hire some honest tradies to do the job!

No sympathy from me Biff. It's all about profit for you. How about giving a bit back for once?

You'll be right OD - alcohol is a preservative.

You can enjoy that until she is around 14 OD. Then switch of for a year or two until a beautiful and mature young woman emerges to enlighten the rest of your life .

FMD. Roos has just signed on for his third year. I know speculating and guessing is what makes Demonland such a reliable sauce but .............. naming, or speculating about Roo's successor now is even pushing the Dland limits of credibility.

FMD. I didn't realise we had so many comedians on Dland. I wouldn't recommend giving up your day jobs though!!

Now don't get uppity on me Biffen. I know those girls at the Gat have titz that rest on their gut.

Now don't be jealous Jazza, just because my flaccid still swells.

I insist that my bearers are all the same height!

Another successful workout completed. After a solid minute or so on the treadmill my PT gave me a new exercise today. Barbell curling is, I believe, what she called it. Good for the "guns" evidently. My guns are off course, quite huge but perhaps a tad flaccid. She said I demonstrated good "form" with this exercise. ("Form" is important in gym parlance). She went on to say that in a few weeks she would start putting some weights on the bar! Made me quite swell with pride. Anyway, I was so encouraged that I scoffed two quiches rather than unhealthy pies on the way home.

When I'm buffed and virile and doing all night, what you blokes can only dream of all night - then we'll see. PS. I'm not sure "puppyfat" is the term I would have chosen.

Pair of cretins!!!

Another naysayer. Be careful dc or, one day, the new bbo will arrive in Borewood and you'll lose the blue rinsers forever!

Very negative and unsupportive of you Biffen. I am sure that when I become a new man I'll be be a big hit at the Gat and you'll be in my shadow. BTW. As to "visual stimulation", I was receiving quite a few meaningful glances today!!

I am guessing that both yourself and B Bub have come across similar well intentioned but misguided medicos?

No BB. At this point myself, my Doctor and the PT are still negotiating this concept of "diet". When the notion of cutting back red wine intake was mentioned I became quite agitated and we haven't really progressed.

Like yourself jazza, i am transmogrifying into a new and even better me. Had my first gym session (properly called a workout I believe) today. My Personal Trainer escorted me to a treadmill to “warm up”, as she put it. That was quite painful as the side rails rubbed rather nastily on my manly mid section. I was gasping and bawling after about 30 seconds so she decided I was warmed up enough. She also attempted to get me on a bike but that caused some very embarrassing personal issues. Now it was time to “pump iron”. I was led to a machine called the “Pec Deck” – apparently used to develop one’s pectorals. Well my pectorals hang to my waist so I didn’t think further development was required. However, I allowed myself to be guided by the professional (as I have on many previous occasions) An excruciating experience but I did my 5 “reps” (that’s gym talk) and called it a day. I understand protein intake is advised after a workout so I purchased (and consumed) 2 meat pies on the way back to the manor. I’ll have a day’s rest and be back into it on Thursday. However, I feel I have made advances already.