Biffen got me again (great mistakes repeated)
I reluctantly accepted an offer from "I know Ballarat like the back of my hand" Biffen to attend the footy with him.
We arrived by train and, acting on Biffen's advice, bypassed the taxis and strode to the nearest public house. Followed by the next nearest....
"The ground's only 5 minutes from here",quoth Biffen. Well after a 10 minute taxi trip we arrived 10 minutes after the start. I had forgotten my member's ticket so Biffen took cash off me, grabbed a nearby child and purchased a family ticket. True story.
I seemed to be buying most of the necessary liquid supplements while Biffen stood and displayed his tweed jacket. Yes Tweed Jacket! It was obviously stolen from an opp shop but Biffen claimed it made him look sophisticated when worn over his stained Tshirt. True story. I have to say the sunshine did nothing for his other hygiene issues either.
In a weak (insane) moment I had agreed to "shout" dinner. Again Biffen's rat cunning shone through. Normally Biffen finds the cheapest and sleaziest establishments in which to dine. However, on this occasion, he directed us (via taxi for which I paid) to a half decent place with bloated menu and wine prices.
Then he had the audacity to order the most expensive bottle of wine on the list. Quickly followed by another of which large amounts were dribbled onto the aforementioned Tshirt.
I had shown the foresight to arrange a driver for my return journey. However, as I was a little tired by the evening's closure, Biffen inveigled himself into my vehicle and directed my driver to his establishment.
I could forgive the fact that it was clearly premises for illicit purposes but taking us a lazy 100 k out of the way was a bit much. True Story