Bitter but optimistic

The only things I would steal are virtue or a decent red.

Any association with Biffen reminds one that wealth is quite transient.

I may go. I'll get "dressed up" and you could introduce me as an old girl friend Red!

As if you have any credibility Loon!

I hope you're either a real charmer Jizz or have a large er.. vocabulary. Because I'm just trying to imagine all the girls about town looking for a night out after the Grand Pri ck flocking to the Beech Forest pub. Ha Ha Ha ................ FMD Even's Biffen's Gat slags wouldn't go there.

It's all about discernment (or lack thereof) Earl Hood. Unlike those of polite society, Biffen's idea of an extravagant banquet is unlimited soy and tomato sauce. And .. as for good wine .. let me just say that if it comes in less than 2 litre containers, he considers it pretentious.

As usual Biffen makes much of little! OK there was a little incidental groping er contact but it was simply a result of the large crowd pushing me forward. Just like the health club - all quite explainable and reasonable.

Just let me add Mable - lest there be any misunderstandings. Your underlying premise is quite correct - Biffen is a charlatan and tax evader!

Good to hear from you again Mable. However, you need to understand that Biff actually spent no money! BTW Where have u been? Visiting Canadia?

I slept through it .... but yes.

Biffen got me again (great mistakes repeated) I reluctantly accepted an offer from "I know Ballarat like the back of my hand" Biffen to attend the footy with him. We arrived by train and, acting on Biffen's advice, bypassed the taxis and strode to the nearest public house. Followed by the next nearest.... "The ground's only 5 minutes from here",quoth Biffen. Well after a 10 minute taxi trip we arrived 10 minutes after the start. I had forgotten my member's ticket so Biffen took cash off me, grabbed a nearby child and purchased a family ticket. True story. I seemed to be buying most of the necessary liquid supplements while Biffen stood and displayed his tweed jacket. Yes Tweed Jacket! It was obviously stolen from an opp shop but Biffen claimed it made him look sophisticated when worn over his stained Tshirt. True story. I have to say the sunshine did nothing for his other hygiene issues either. In a weak (insane) moment I had agreed to "shout" dinner. Again Biffen's rat cunning shone through. Normally Biffen finds the cheapest and sleaziest establishments in which to dine. However, on this occasion, he directed us (via taxi for which I paid) to a half decent place with bloated menu and wine prices. Then he had the audacity to order the most expensive bottle of wine on the list. Quickly followed by another of which large amounts were dribbled onto the aforementioned Tshirt. I had shown the foresight to arrange a driver for my return journey. However, as I was a little tired by the evening's closure, Biffen inveigled himself into my vehicle and directed my driver to his establishment. I could forgive the fact that it was clearly premises for illicit purposes but taking us a lazy 100 k out of the way was a bit much. True Story

[censored] !!!! Just when I thought you were getting away from speaking Westralian!! Fl og

A car from Borewood!! Probably beige. Who would steal that?

A good case could be made for a choirboy to have a part in the above dialogue.

Anyone in Sydney last night? Big night!

I've been wondering since I read this post Red how to comment in an appropriate way - or in a way that would not get me banned. For reasons best not mentioned (but funny) the notion of full bladders brings pregnant women to mind. I'll leave it go.

Taking advantage of others always gives one a warm inner glow.

BTW - the latest update on Biffen. He is apparently using some of his "funds" to buy building materials from a place called Fiskville and is onselling them to a builder who is renovating a child minding centre. I don't get it but Biff is very excited about the profits involved.

The wagon has derailed, however, you are correct about my victory Moonie. I haven't heard from the Peach Forest boy so I can only assume he is licking his ...err wounds and will not challenge a real farmer again.

I am trying to post a photo (780kb) but it is rejected as too large (no jokes please). Could one of you resident experts explain this please?

Have a good laugh you DH's but Uncle Bitter, as usual, was in front of the game. Being a man of the land and in touch with the elements ( and also some boy scout experiences), I anticipated inclement conditions. Therefore I had packed a large tarp 3x4 metres, so myself and my delightful company were quite cozy. Well at times a little too cozy as, despite remaining off the booze, I had rather embarrassing flatulence. Must have been the lentil salad. Forty five minutes to decamp from the carpark also put the dampener on an otherwise terrific evening.

Only one day of this February foolishness to go. Ive spent this evening wandering among my favourite bottles of Shiraz. I caressed their slender necks and playfully fondled their cute skimpy labels and ..... er well as I said one day to go. Wonder how Jizz is holding out. Can I claim a comprehensive victory for the real farmers?

I'm back on the grog at one second past midnight on Saturday. As it happens, I'll be going to the Eagles concert at Hanging Rock that very same night. Just wondering if a certain winery in that vicinity has late cellar door sales?

Have a smoke to celebrate Jizz!

Your thoughts have caused me some sleeplessness Earl Hood. I have a vision of a drug crazed and rabid Biffen leading a frenzied mob of addicts,prostitutes,illegal immigrants, abused asian brides and general malcontents in trying to steal what rightly belongs to the privileged class. While the lads and I would do our bit manning the barricades, the very body odour of such a bunch of maniacal Bolshies would be overwhelming. I could respond with a shot or two of fungal infection but it would be small jam indeed if they came close enough to use their extreme halitosis. We'd be done for. I'm sure Tony has a plan for such contingencies but, if not, we'll have to look to our wise correspondent Mr Dolt . Anyway, I'm off to the club for a tonic.