Bitter but optimistic

More Gilbert and Sullivan I'd reckon. Most laywers are pirates and OD would surely be a "modern major general".

Jack, I reckon the beginning of that article is most relevant to certain posters on this thread. "The Gatwick Hotel has been home for the mad, the bad, tragic chronic substance abusers and the mentally ill."

Seems ordinaire to my good self. However, thank you for that information Dino. While there have been rumours of poverty in Romsey it is not something the genteel class have much to do with. Although good old Bitter does toss a few trinkets under the giving tree each year - they must go somewhere.

Watched him today. Sir Richard Hadlee he aint!

Indeed! I'm not sure how I'd go living in Rumpsey.

Best man boobs ever.

Romsey is the place Ernie. I care for myself and exploit the community as much as possible.

Little you know Moonie! What about those very smart off the shoulder dresses the blokes used to wear? Tugas I believe they were called.

Thatch the way I like it dc .... no no no .........stop it now! Puns [censored] me up!

Thatch me if you can?

Well I'm sure it at least had a good spring clean. A hoovering and a scrub.

Well thanks Tim, I did not know that although I did know Enid was apparently something of a "player". In that context, it is notable that her cottage was named "Old Thatch".

Spot on Ted! It beggars belief that at least a couple of others weren't fully cognizant and supportive of what Dank was up to.

In the interim dc, you could hire a couple of the lads from me ( mates rates ). The only possible downside is that they may inadvertently stomp your blue hued nocturnal visitors.

Best no more is said on this subject dc, lest we draw the notice of the Golliwogs and then, even the gated community of Borewood, will not be a safe haven.

Well, I must admit I always thought Noddy and Big Ears were a bit ...eerrrr .... shall we say ..close.

Pah to CS Lewis!! Obvious Christian proselytising via heavy handed allegory and a bunch of snot nosed pommy kids. Old Enid's snot noses were far better.

How about The day of the Knee Trembler ?

Good heavens (or should that be good nirvanas) Ernie! I cast off the restraints of the Kama Sutra years ago. I have much improved restraints nowadays.

Robbo is the chief football writer for that rag. Says it all really dc.

I must say Moon that my time in rehab was less arduous than usual. I believe the staff were still soiled and attempting to recover from attending to Biffen during his recent stay. There was ,however, much wailing and cries of despair from a highly secure corner of that sad establishment. Discreet enquiries suggest that a certain Doctor, well known in these parts, was refining his electroconvulsive therapies on some poor wretch's soul. One can only speculate that the answer to Deeluded's mysterious disappearance may lie within that evil laboratory.

Argh yes Red, the joy and inspiration of reading. I often wonder where I would be without the wise counsel provided by the Marquis.

Good God Mable!! What sort of heathens are you Canucks? Even the banana maniacs on this thread are not that crazed!!!

My dog is clever but cooking is beyond him.

Well well the unfairness of our world!! Your good Uncle Bitter has been very busy of late - dealing, as an honest toiler does, with the many complexities that life throws up. And what do I find on a brief visit to Demonland ? The ever filthy Biffen has had a restful month in rehab. Three squares a day and a comfortable room with a large screen tv while I toil away. Where is the justice in that? Meanwhile, among my many manorial responsibilities, I am trying to restore neighbourly relations. My loyal hound ( the one who terrorises children on Halloween) went a tad beyond his responsibilities. He decided my neighbour's Guinea Fowl flock needed culling and ... well he proceeded to do so. I must say he displayed a righteous vigour similar to the moderators on this site. Well .... as you can guess this caused a few previous neighbourly differences to bubble to the surface again - the missing wine delivery and the "misunderstanding" with his Mrs being foremost. The honest citizens toil while the recidivists like Biffen live the high life. What a world we live in.